Harry Potter and Xander Harris.

By apsik  (aj clover)

Beta read by kitty_poker1 who deserves all the nectarines in the world for her work ;)

Willow POV, safe for any age to read, I don’t think I even swore in here...
Plus, it’s good if you've read the Potter series, because this little fic will make absolutely no sense if you haven’t. The Spander here is of the very mild variety. I would say it’s pre slash, but I guess it’s not even a friendship fic. And I’ll let you to read for yourself now :P
Also it’s not set in any particular season; just pick a place where there is Tara, Spike helping the Scoobies and no Anya and stick this fic in. That would fit. If there is no place like that – come on, people, this is fanfiction. Damn it. And, you know. Feedback is a nice thing any girl dreams about. Well, about feedback and Spike, but let's not get too detailed. :P
Oh, and all you Willow lovers out there – forgive me, I have problems with grasping her speech pattern.

You know, we’ve been through a lot of weirdness since we met Buffy, we as in Xander and me, but life just isn’t the same since Xander read the Harry Potter books. Before that he was his usual, geeky, I-love-Star-Trek self. Now he likes to read about a boy with a scar on his face.

I mean, it’s not bad, as in a scare-kids-on-the-street kind of way, but he's starting to get on everyone’s nerves. For one, he calls me Whomping Willow every time he sees me doing a difficult spell that needs lots of gestures and moves. Spike is constantly nicknamed ‘Malfoy on a bad day’ when he pisses someone off too much and actually I have to agree on that one! He laughs every time when we say anything about Buffy being the Chosen One and it’s not funny, it’s serious. Though it *is* funny to see Giles’ face when he’s being called (repeatedly) ‘our very own Madame Pince’ because he has no idea what it’s all about but gets irritated anyway.

But it’s getting way too annoying. As if any witch needs a stick to do mojo. Sticks are for killing vampires and lighting fires and a lot of other useful and mundane everyday stuff. And it’s not like he hasn’t got any witches around, so he should know that. He’s got me and Tara and Giles, so that’s two and a half!

And Ron! He keeps thinking of himself as Ron, the ever present sidekick that hasn’t got anything else to do except making witty remarks, being jealous over his loved ones, ignoring his little redheaded sister and exchanging insults with Draco Malfoy and usually losing... No, it’s NOT that similar, darn it! And Xander is an important person in our life, whether he realises it or not. I need to make sure to buy him a large pack of Twinkies and talk to him with  my best Resolve Face put on so he will know that everyone loves him, me especially.

But that’s not the point.

Anyway, it’s weird enough to see Xander not sleeping over a book and enjoying  reading as a leisure time activity, which really hasn’t happened since high school, which was so long ago! And it’s not like he was a bookworm back then, either, so it’s even weirder that he surfs the net to get more to read. Yes, Xander reads Harry Potter fanfiction. Fanfiction, I ask you! And he can’t take his eyes off the screen. But then again, he claims it’s mostly fun, so I guess I shouldn’t be bothered because there are so many possibilities to hook up some of the characters! I suppose I was too stuck in other fandoms to notice what the Potterverse has to offer.

Though I was a bit shocked when I found Xander reading slash fanfics because I've been his best friend since, goddess, forever and I should have known that he enjoys the same things as I do and that’s smooching men and women alike. And also because we've been friends since forever, after a proper amount of stuttering from me *and* him I managed to ask him a simple question about his sexuality. Turns out he was just scared to say anything about him being bi, what with the parents and school kids that would probably condemn him for an eternity of being mocked or ignored because he wasn’t as popular or strong as Larry, and we know that it’s possible on the Hellmouth because, hello? Invisible people? That’s all true and I guess that’s all right. I mean, I’m bisexual, so I’m just glad I can be totally myself around him. Not that he ever had a problem with me and Tara being an item, but still. It’s good to know I’m not the only one in the original Scooby gang who has... well, a more alternative lifestyle than the usual Hellmouthy alternativeness.   

I just don’t get why he likes the Draco/Ron pairing. I mean, everyone knows that the only non-canon OTP is Draco/Ginny. But I guess it's the slashy appeal of the pairing... When I asked him why he’s not into Harry/Draco -- after all, it’s more popular -- he got tense and said that they just don’t belong together. Hmm... maybe not. Ah, whatever. We’ll have the discussion about the merits of Draco/Ron fanfiction after the Scooby meeting. Spike is giving us an odd look and ohmygod I forgot about the super-vampire-hearing Xander’sgonnakillme. Good thing he’s got his back to Spike. 

Okay, Giles and Buffy are here, time to get down to the witchy part of the slaying business... I just hope that the new demon isn’t an Un’bridge like the last one because Xander suggested giving it to centaurs, which resulted in Giles giving a half an hour speech about centaurs being a fairy tale and I really don’t want to go through that again. Because in the end it was Spike that told Giles it was a book reference not... a solution... oh my god, how could I have missed that Spike reads Potter books? Now that’s perfect blackmail material. No more comments about me needing a wand ever again.

Yep, I’m a baaad witch.