→ Spike/XanderWord Count:
→ Buffy the Vampire SlayerGenre:
→ AUBeta (s):
→ by skargasmDisclaimer:
→ Not mine.Summary:
→ Would he ever be ready to move on?
“Xander, are you sure this is all you want to keep?” Buffy was looking suspiciously at the three boxes an two suitcases in the hall.
“Yeah Buff, the landlord will rent the flat furnished, I just need to bring with me clothes and books, some of them anyway. I don't want anything else, though” Xander replied lost in his thoughts. “In fact I didn't need help with those, you know. I could manage to move a couple of boxes by myself.”
“I see now, when I offered to help you I thought you were moving everything that's in here. Well, here I am so you can use my superpowers all the same.”
“Thanks, so you take the boxes and I take the-” the words died on his lips. His phone was ringing.On the floor of Tokyo
Or down in London town to go, go
With the record selection
With the mirror reflec -
He shut the call and threw the phone against the wall. Fucking customized ringtone!
Silence was heavy between them.
“Maybe -” Buffy started, but Xander interrupted her immediately.
“Don't. Just don't Buffy.”
He looked at the boxes again, unable to move.
He leaned against the nearest wall, his legs not supporting his weight anymore.
“Well, let's get this stuff out of here, just give me the keys of your car and I'll take care of them.”
He sat on the coach, trying to make the weakness go away, trying to find inside his mind the rage that had made him go on the past few weeks. Nothing.
No anger, no hatred.
Like the big throwing the cell against the wall had switched off every resentful feeling.
“Hey, I'll bring down the suitcases, then we can go to the new house if you're ready.”
She didn't wait for his reply and was outside the door again.
Will I ever be ready?
He felt himself grow dimmer as every minute passed.
Buffy chatted the whole drive to the new place, ten minutes of hell, but Xander knew her intentions were good.
Unpacking took him nearly an hour, then Willow joined them with pizza and protection spells.
“For the house, I swear.” And her smile was sweet and understanding.
The girls were leaving at last.
Hugs, kisses, see you soon, I'll call, promise, goodnight.
“Oh Xander, I left your phone on the table.” Said Buffy, the pragmatic girl. “Still working.”
Silence.* * * - * * *
He soon falls asleep on his new couch.
“Xan, are you awake?”
“I am now.”
“Let me in, luv”
Xander knows Spike doesn't call him love anymore.
Spike has gone after Drusilla. She wanted him back and he left.
“I have to go.... she was the love of my life, I need to know-”
“You are the love of my life, stay”
But he didn't stay. Spike left without any other words, after three years of life together.
Spike is outside the window, wet from rain and saying something Xander cannot quite hear.
Not a dream or a fantasy, he is really there, and Xander has to meet him for the first time in 5 weeks with sleepy eyes, shaggy hair and wrinkled clothes.
“So what now? The love of your life dumped you again and you're back for round two of kick Xander while he's hurting?”
“Let me in, Xan, I have to tell you-”
“Not interested. Three years Spike. Three years and I asked you to claim me. The next day the crazy vampire calls and you run after her. I don't want to listen to this shit anymore.”
Xander is lying, they both know.
So he goes to the door and opens it.
But he doesn't invite Spike in.
Spike is there, beautiful even if he has recently been crying. His voice is slightly broken.
“I loved her for more then a century. She was crazy, but she was my princess and I would have done everything for her.” He sigh loudly. Xander thinks You're really here to kill me.
“She made me a vampire, you made me a man. You are my lover, my partner, my friend. The one I'll love for the rest of my life, the one I want if you still want me.”
Sometimes things are that easy. Not very talkative Spike, but saying the right words when it really counts. Very insecure Xander, but loving and forgiving. Almost forgiving.
“Come in Spike, you'll love our new home. But I have to tell you something about your books and your cds-”
Xander's Ringtone is Billy Idol “Dancing with myself”