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Harry Potter and Xander Harris. By apsik  (aj clover)… 
15th-Aug-2005 10:54 pm
sylwetka apple

Harry Potter and Xander Harris.

By apsik  (aj clover)

Beta read by kitty_poker1 who deserves all the nectarines in the world for her work ;)

Willow POV, safe for any age to read, I don’t think I even swore in here...
Plus, it’s good if you've read the Potter series, because this little fic will make absolutely no sense if you haven’t. The Spander here is of the very mild variety. I would say it’s pre slash, but I guess it’s not even a friendship fic. And I’ll let you to read for yourself now :P
Also it’s not set in any particular season; just pick a place where there is Tara, Spike helping the Scoobies and no Anya and stick this fic in. That would fit. If there is no place like that – come on, people, this is fanfiction. Damn it. And, you know. Feedback is a nice thing any girl dreams about. Well, about feedback and Spike, but let's not get too detailed. :P
Oh, and all you Willow lovers out there – forgive me, I have problems with grasping her speech pattern.

You know, we’ve been through a lot of weirdness since we met Buffy, we as in Xander and me, but life just isn’t the same since Xander read the Harry Potter books. Before that he was his usual, geeky, I-love-Star-Trek self. Now he likes to read about a boy with a scar on his face.


I mean, it’s not bad, as in a scare-kids-on-the-street kind of way, but he's starting to get on everyone’s nerves. For one, he calls me Whomping Willow every time he sees me doing a difficult spell that needs lots of gestures and moves. Spike is constantly nicknamed ‘Malfoy on a bad day’ when he pisses someone off too much and actually I have to agree on that one! He laughs every time when we say anything about Buffy being the Chosen One and it’s not funny, it’s serious. Though it *is* funny to see Giles’ face when he’s being called (repeatedly) ‘our very own Madame Pince’ because he has no idea what it’s all about but gets irritated anyway.


But it’s getting way too annoying. As if any witch needs a stick to do mojo. Sticks are for killing vampires and lighting fires and a lot of other useful and mundane everyday stuff. And it’s not like he hasn’t got any witches around, so he should know that. He’s got me and Tara and Giles, so that’s two and a half!


And Ron! He keeps thinking of himself as Ron, the ever present sidekick that hasn’t got anything else to do except making witty remarks, being jealous over his loved ones, ignoring his little redheaded sister and exchanging insults with Draco Malfoy and usually losing... No, it’s NOT that similar, darn it! And Xander is an important person in our life, whether he realises it or not. I need to make sure to buy him a large pack of Twinkies and talk to him with  my best Resolve Face put on so he will know that everyone loves him, me especially.


But that’s not the point.


Anyway, it’s weird enough to see Xander not sleeping over a book and enjoying  reading as a leisure time activity, which really hasn’t happened since high school, which was so long ago! And it’s not like he was a bookworm back then, either, so it’s even weirder that he surfs the net to get more to read. Yes, Xander reads Harry Potter fanfiction. Fanfiction, I ask you! And he can’t take his eyes off the screen. But then again, he claims it’s mostly fun, so I guess I shouldn’t be bothered because there are so many possibilities to hook up some of the characters! I suppose I was too stuck in other fandoms to notice what the Potterverse has to offer.


Though I was a bit shocked when I found Xander reading slash fanfics because I've been his best friend since, goddess, forever and I should have known that he enjoys the same things as I do and that’s smooching men and women alike. And also because we've been friends since forever, after a proper amount of stuttering from me *and* him I managed to ask him a simple question about his sexuality. Turns out he was just scared to say anything about him being bi, what with the parents and school kids that would probably condemn him for an eternity of being mocked or ignored because he wasn’t as popular or strong as Larry, and we know that it’s possible on the Hellmouth because, hello? Invisible people? That’s all true and I guess that’s all right. I mean, I’m bisexual, so I’m just glad I can be totally myself around him. Not that he ever had a problem with me and Tara being an item, but still. It’s good to know I’m not the only one in the original Scooby gang who has... well, a more alternative lifestyle than the usual Hellmouthy alternativeness.   


I just don’t get why he likes the Draco/Ron pairing. I mean, everyone knows that the only non-canon OTP is Draco/Ginny. But I guess it's the slashy appeal of the pairing... When I asked him why he’s not into Harry/Draco -- after all, it’s more popular -- he got tense and said that they just don’t belong together. Hmm... maybe not. Ah, whatever. We’ll have the discussion about the merits of Draco/Ron fanfiction after the Scooby meeting. Spike is giving us an odd look and ohmygod I forgot about the super-vampire-hearing Xander’sgonnakillme. Good thing he’s got his back to Spike. 


Okay, Giles and Buffy are here, time to get down to the witchy part of the slaying business... I just hope that the new demon isn’t an Un’bridge like the last one because Xander suggested giving it to centaurs, which resulted in Giles giving a half an hour speech about centaurs being a fairy tale and I really don’t want to go through that again. Because in the end it was Spike that told Giles it was a book reference not... a solution... oh my god, how could I have missed that Spike reads Potter books? Now that’s perfect blackmail material. No more comments about me needing a wand ever again.


Yep, I’m a baaad witch. 


15th-Aug-2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
Oh sweet Jesus! This is freaking hilarious! Seriously, I'm still laughing even as I write this. See? Spike and Xander have lots in common *nods* and Giles as the scoobies own Madam Pince? Priceless. You should keep going with this, maybe something from each character's point of view?

Anyway, loved it :)
15th-Aug-2005 09:19 pm (UTC)
Wow! That was fast ;)

Thanks very much! Glad to make you laugh :D

Keep going...? Hmm... this was supposed to be a one-shot but if I write more you'll be the first to know :D
15th-Aug-2005 09:24 pm (UTC)
LMAO! You drew some very nice parallels there, hon. Got to say, I'd never seen them before but they're clear once they're pointed out so stylishly. Well done!

I bet Spike reads Potterverse. Particularly Draco/Ron slash. ;o)

15th-Aug-2005 09:57 pm (UTC)
*hugs you back*

thanks very much, kitty. :)
15th-Aug-2005 10:17 pm (UTC)
My pleasure, love. :)
15th-Aug-2005 09:25 pm (UTC)
OMG!!! it's SO true! Draco/Ron is the Spander of Harry Potter! HEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs this fic-let*
15th-Aug-2005 09:51 pm (UTC)
*the ficlet hugs you back* :)
15th-Aug-2005 09:25 pm (UTC)
*falls off bed laughing*
*points to computer and makes incomprehensible sounds*
*wipes tears from eyes*
*laughs harder*

Kat Coll
15th-Aug-2005 09:49 pm (UTC)
*grinns madly*
*offers a tissue*
*smiles some more, so proud*
*hugs you because it's nice to know that you liked it*

Thanks for reading, sweets.

15th-Aug-2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
Hee! Very nice Willow babble there. Did she breathe at any point there? LOL!

That was a lovely little fic. Well done.

Whomping Willow!! LMAO!!!!!
16th-Aug-2005 07:25 am (UTC)
Nope, she didn't need to breath. That's easy - I do it all the time :P

Thanks for reading and commenting :)
16th-Aug-2005 02:31 am (UTC)

And though this is, as you say, pre slash, ... not even a friendship fic, we all know that Spike is going to follow Xander home and insist on acting out some of those wilder Ron/Draco fics and then they will lie in bed and read HP to each other. :D
16th-Aug-2005 07:28 am (UTC)
Thanks, that got my imagination going. ;D
*off to read some Draco/Ron slash*
16th-Aug-2005 04:14 am (UTC)
*laughs* You know, that makes me want to read some Potterverse fic... *goes to hunt down some Ron/Draco*
16th-Aug-2005 07:29 am (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it :)
16th-Aug-2005 04:42 am (UTC)


And omg, the parallels... *giggles*
16th-Aug-2005 07:30 am (UTC)
Hehe, happy to see I made you laugh ;D
16th-Aug-2005 08:40 pm (UTC)
Hee! Very original and cute! Well done!
17th-Aug-2005 06:08 am (UTC)
Thanks very much!

I'm glad you liked it :)
19th-Jul-2007 07:35 am (UTC)
I reread this fic on average about once a week and am now finally getting around to telling you its great.
Sticks are for killing vampires and lighting fires and a lot of other useful and mundane everyday stuff.
::shakes head::
You're brilliant
24th-Jul-2007 12:13 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment - I had a guest at home, and was mostly offline. I did receive and read it and believe me, it made a very good day for me :]

Wow, I didn't realize people still read it! And once a week? You sure know how to charme a fic-writer! I was so insecure about posting it at all and there you go making me feel all happy and fuzzy inside. Thank you very much for reading (and reading and reading) and commenting.
24th-Jul-2007 12:23 pm (UTC)
lol, I am but a poor student, living on ramen and what I am given by others for food...budget works out nicely, cept for the food bit, and the lack of time in which to cook the food I have....and the ability really. ::perks:: My mom occasionally makes food she shares! Home-cookin! ::looks sadly at ramen:: Heh....notice I have money for the Internet though, eh? XD

Really though, understandable you can't spend every waking minute on your computer, I try but really there's that pesky work and class crap that gets in the way...::shrug:: If you don't sleep, you have enough time for just about everything.

Oh, and being a dabbler in fic myself, I know exactly how to charm a fic-writer-being encouraging means I get more fics! ^.^
31st-Jul-2007 08:48 pm (UTC)
LOL, I really appreciated my deal of living with parents while studying. Not for long, but still, for now I have a three-meals a day + clothes washing done for me :P

I'm such a spoiled princess! :P

hehehe, one just hads to ask onself a question about life - what's more important: food for the body or food for helpless fanfic addiction? In my case - the internet wins hands down ;)

Good night! Need sleep now... early start tomorrow. See you around :)
28th-Feb-2008 02:00 pm (UTC)
"I mean, everyone knows that the only non-canon OTP is Draco/Ginny."

That line made me soooo happy. My OTPs Spike/Xander and Draco/Ginny, although if Ginny dies, or Draco suddenly becomes gay, then Ron is the one for him. XD

Very good, I'd love to see this continueing.
1st-Mar-2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
LOL, it always amazes me that people still find this ficlet amusing :]

Thanks very much :)

LOL, I know, Harry/Ginny is soooo boring comparing to Draco/Ginny. And the only other fan-approved Weasley Draco would hook up with is definitely Ron :P

6th-Mar-2008 12:09 am (UTC)
I personally have difficulty reading Potterverse fic that actually has sex in it, but this was great. I just wish wills was a leetle quicker on the uptake, with the whole "spike is malfoy on a bad day" and "xan's the ron of the group" like duh...

ta muchness!
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