My other two fics might one day be completed, but...meh.....
Anyway, got obessessed with "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers. I dunno if anyway has songficced this yet, so here I go. ConCrit is always loved and appreciated...and without further ado....
Story Title: “Mr. Brightside”
Author: Loki M.
Pairing: Spander, mentions X/Anya
Summary: Anya leaves Xander after infidelity.
Posting: Ya want it, ya got it. Let me know, k?
Coming out of my cage,
Everything is just fine.
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all.
It started out with a kiss—
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss,
It was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
Andshe’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag.
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest—now
He takes off her dress—now
Let Me Go.
And I just can’t look, it’s killing me
And taking control.
Jealous, turning saints in to the sea
Swimming through sick lullaby
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes....
‘Cause I’m Mr. BrightSide.
I’ve Never, I’ve Never, I’ve Never....
~”Mr. Brightside” by The Killers
The streetlight flooded the room in that halogen sickening orange as Xander huddled in a needlessly tight curl in his entirely too empty bed. The sheets were cold, comfortless and missing the one warm steadiness he thought that he had in the world. His fiancee....no, ex-fiancee was gone, and there was no way that he’d be able to sleep in this bed again.
He had no idea how long it had gone on. Somehow, he knew that she had snuck out of his bed more than once as he lay in the dreamless sprawl that exhaustion gave him. Work and slaying along with Anya’s endless demands on his body for her own personal pleasure resulted with his dropping quickly off into unconsciousness. And no matter how much pleasure he gave her, how many times his muscles screamed as he forced himself to keep pounding into her, not for his own neglected release, but her greedy obsession with physical pleasure......it just didn’t seem to be enough. For him, or for her.
So one night when he was almost out, but pleasantly warm and not as sore or tired from a nice day off of work and a low encounter rate on patrol, he was shocked to feel Anya stealthy climbing out of bed. He was further curious when she went over to the chair where she had flung off her dress, and pulling the discarded garment back onto her body, she slipped on her sandals and crept from the room.
He had slunk over to the door and peered out the slight crack she left open to see her on the phone. He couldn’t hear what she said, but then she hung up and grabbing her purse, headed out the apartment door, locking it behind her.
He had gone over to the window, to see her meeting up with a figure he didn’t recognize at all. Some nameless guy, dark-hair that was shorter than his own glinting in the lamplight, and he handed Anya the cigarette he was smoking. She took a drag, and then kissed him thoroughly. Xander had been completely flabbergasted. That had been three days ago.
That night when she came back in, he was awake and waiting for her. He called her on what had happened, and she admitted everything. He allowed her to pack her things and leave while he just sat there, dry-eyed with numb shock. He heard from Giles the next afternoon that she had quit the Magic Box, and that she and whoever-the-hell-he-was were already on their way out of the town over the Hellmouth.
Xander shook tremulously with shock/anger/blinding hurt. He dry-retched fitfully as the memories brought up the thick rank taste of betrayal into his throat.
Soft cool hands on his sweat-soaked skin jerked him clearly into the present, and he rolled over to see who his comforter was. Spike was there, one hand on Xander’s shoulder, blue eyes showing with commiseration and regret. Later he would worry about how the vampire had gotten in the locked door. He just lurched forward into the cool embrace and sobbed bitterly on Spike’s lap. Darkness and coolness with the tang of leather, tobacco and old blood were the only sensations around the pain as he finally released the poisonous emotion that threatened to eat through his heart.
Soft soothing nonsense in a gentle accent gradually filtered above the sound of his ragged breathing and Xander realized that he was finally calming down.
“It hurts so bad, Spike,” he whispered as he pulled away slightly to look into the blue eyes of this unexpected but desperately needed friend.
“I know, mate. It kills you a bit, but the pain will fade in time, I promise.” Spike stroked Xander’s unruly hair into a semblance of order.
“Stay with me tonight. Please,” Xander asked. He couldn’t be alone now. Not here, in this bed.
“As long as you need me. I know what it feels like.”
Curling his body around Spike’s smaller frame, Xander finally slipped into an exhausted slumber as he felt the choking grief around his chest relax and loosen slightly.
Epilogue, six months later:
Anya was surprised to find the letter in Xander’s characteristic writing in the pile of mail. Her latest fling was two weeks old, and she found herself friendless and lonely in the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas. Sure, she had made a ton of money in the casinos, and the ground-breaking on her own resort was due to start next month, but how she would have traded it all for the comfort of the Scooby Gang and the knowledge that she wasn’t going to bed alone once more. She opened the letter eagerly—maybe he was begging for her to come back to him, that he had forgiven her.
I hope this letter finds you in good health. That being said, I also hope this letter finds you happy. Yes, I said happy.
You’re leaving me was the best thing that has ever happened to me, in retrospect. It hurt like hell at the time...but now....well, now I have something to live for.
Maybe you saw that something was lacking in our relationship, something that just made everything not worth it. I didn’t see it at the time, but as I look back towards it, there was something gone. We weren’t in love. At least, I wasn’t. I thought I was, but now I know what real love is.
Love is kind blue eyes, a smile in the morning. The annoying habits that fill me with exasperation instead of anger and embarassment. Although, Spike does have the same habit to blab about our sex life in front of the others, but I think I can live with that.
Yeah, you read that right. Spike. He...was there for me after you left. It just happened....it was so wonderful, and bright. I hope you have something like that in your life.
Know that I wish you no ill will. Find your happiness, Anya. It’s out there, somewhere.
P.S. Spike wants to add a private note himself. Look on the back. I have no idea what he is gonna write, but what the hell.
Shocked, Anya flipped the note over.
It’s amazing how vengeance works, huh, Anya? I’ll bet you’ve never been on this side of the fence, but hell, how’s it working for you? I read that load of worthless trite Xan wrote you...and I can’t say I agree with the sentiment. He ached for you...and now he loves me. You threw him away. I couldn’t believe it, myself. Here I had been, lusting and loving him at a distance for so damn long, and you gave it all up. But never fear, I take care of my boy very well. He lacks for nothing. He’s my delight, and you were right—he is a Viking in the sack. So I hope this letter finds you miserable and alone, and if it does, well...just remember, that his eyes look into mine when he comes, and I have all the joys of that sweet body. By the by, he’d hate me if he knew I was mentioning this, but he has said on many occasions that I am his best lover ever.
I’ll say it once more: You threw Him away. And I hope that haunts you ‘til you draw your dying breath. Much as I’d love to be the cause of it, Xan would be upset.
William the Bloody
The letter dropped from Anya’s hand as she was wracked with the first of many sobs.
A/N: I know I’ve been gone forever, but I heard this song once or twice, then got obsessed, and this is what happened. Hopefully I’ll get more Spandery plotbunnies and might actually become a regular poster, but with school starting next week and the demands of my original fiction, well...I won’t get my hopes up too high. ConCrit is always welcome and appreciated. By the way, I dunno if anyone’s songficced this pairing with this song, and I hope I haven’t copied anyone’s work inadvertantly...heh heh.