Rating: Adult overall
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story
Summary: Xander has a crush. William has a secret.
By the time William had cleaned up, the pizza was ordered
and on it's way. "How about you look through my DVDs
and find a movie you would like to watch while we eat our
supper. I'm going to change and be right back"
Xander pointed in the direction of the entertainment
center and headed for the bedroom.
William sat on the floor in front of the impressive stack of movies.
There were westerns, scifi, monster movies, comedys, every thing
and anything. It was so hard to decide. He really wanted to pick
just what Xander would enjoy, but in the end decided that if
they were all Xander's movies he must like them all.
Finally he closed his eyes and pulled one out just as Xander
came back into the room.
"Oh wow. I wouldn't have thought you were the Chainsaw Murder type."
Xander said with a grin. William could feel himself start to panic.
"It's just a movie. It's just a movie. He kept repeating.
Before he had a chance to say he had changed his mind,
the door bell rang and Xander went to pay for the pizza.
With strong reservations,
William settled in on the couch for what was bound to be a long two hours.
The movie started out bad and quickly went to worse.
William had no appetite.
Xander didn't notice.
When the pizza was gone
William curled up as far under Xander's good arm as he could get.
He refused to look at the screen, but couldn't help hearing the
sounds of people screaming and dying.
It was all too much.It brought back a flood of memories
William thought he had blocked out years ago.
Suddenly William pushed away from Xander and jumped up.
With tears in his eyes he screamed
"Make it stop! Make it stop!" and ran into the bedroom
slamming the door behind him.
Stunned, Xander jumped up and ran after him only to
find him curled up in the center of the bed crying.
"I'm sorry Xander. I'm sorry" William sobbed.
"Oh my god, Baby what is it?" Xander scooped him up in his arm and
pulled him tight to his body.
Unable to answer, William clutched desperately to Xander
and rocked himself back and forth.
Finally after about 30 minutes of whispering to him softly and
rubbing his back, William calmed.
Hiccuping, he looked up at Xander and said
"I guess I am a baby after all"
Xander laughed lightly and kissed the top of his head.
"Do you want to tell me what just happened?"
"NO! I can't talk about it." William answered miserably.
"You never talk about your life in London.
Was it something that happened there?" Xander asked.
Pushing away William got to his feet.
"Coming here was a mistake. I want to go home now."
"No, Baby, wait." Xander spoke to him soothingly as
if he were a spooked animal.
"You are too upset to leave and besides" Xander smiled
"I can't be left alone, remember? And I promise. We won't
talk about anything you don't want to talk about."
It seemed like that was the right thing to say, as William was no
longer heading for the bedroom door. He had stopped and lifted
his fearful eyes to Xander.
Every thing inside him told him to go, but his heart
desperately wanted to stay. Xander took him by the
hand and led him back to the bed.
"Lay down, Baby. I'm going to shut everything off and come to bed.
We don't have to do anything but sleep. O.K?"
Emotionally exhausted, William laid back down and closed his eyes.
He didn't think he could have moved now any way.
He knew it was all coming to an end.
But maybe he could at least have tonight.
Xander turned off the television, the lights, and locked the door.
By the time he had returned William was sound asleep and snoring softly.
Xander scooted him around and covered him up. Leaning up on his
elbow he looked down into William's finally relaxed face.
"What ever it is, Baby, I can make it better." He whispered.
Then leaning down he kissed Will's lips lightly, curled his larger
body around him, and settled in for the night.
The dream was always the same. He had almost forgotten it because
it had been months since it visited him. It starts out in a summer field.
Warm caressing breezes. Bright plants and flowers.
Sunny almost cloudless sky.
He is strolling down a familiar road. He feels he knows in his heart
where this road will take him, and he happily walks, almost
skipping with childish confidence.
Gradually the road becomes a worn dirt path,
but he continues on.
Soon he notices that the patches of flowers that grow along the
sides of the path are getting thicker. The the blooms have turned
brown and fallen off The branches are longer, twisting and
are starting to cover the path.
He looks down and has trouble now making out where the path is.
The flowers have turned into bramble bushes, and the thorns are
cutting into his feet.
He is confused and doesn't know if he should divert from
the path or continue on with cut and bleeding feet.
He looks around searching desperately for the familiarity and comfort
of the lost road. He becomes frightened and starts to run.
Over his shoulder he hears a faint noise.
He knows someone is running behind him.
He can't see who, but he knows if he stops they will catch him.
He falls and the brambles cut his body.
Suddenly one of the vines twist around into his face, before
he can pull away one of the thorns pierces his eye.
He screams with the pain. Struggling to his feet he tries to continue on,
but now can't see and the pain is incredible.
Finally he gives up, turns to face his pursuer, and in a flash
recognizes him and the knife as it plunges into his heart.
When he wakes he can never remember who's face he saw.
Willam's eyes flew open.
His body and voice were paralyzed with fear.
No sound or movement gave away the terror he felt.
But this time he was almost grateful for that paralysis.
It gave him time to remember where he was, who he was with,
and that he is not cut. He was not hurt.
It took almost an hour to calm his breathing and heart beat.
It also gave him time to formulate a plan.