Title: Becoming Known (28/?)
By: Tisienne (aka tistoo)
Pairing: S/X
Rating: NC-17 for the whole thing.
Disclaimer: I am paid only in yummy FB... no cash changes hands, no bills are paid. Please don't sue me, Joss & M.E.
Notes: AU from early on in S7:BtVS. Spike left Sunnydale after the soul and chip removal, Xander never lost his eye and when Buffy asked him to get Dawn away from the Hellmouth, he did. They are in Philadelphia with Spike now and settling in quite nicely. Of course, that means angst because this is one of MY fics. LOL

Previous chapters live HERE

Summary (this part): Sex... a visit with an old friend... more sex. Sort of. *snerk*

And now... on with it, yes?



* * * * * * * * *

Part 28

It was barely there when he burst into the apartment and rushed his bloke to their room. That was all Spike could think. Xander’s heartbeat was barely there, regardless of the speed he’d forced in the headlong run for home.

He couldn’t remember whether the door had been open or whether he’d broken it down in his haste, and if he’d been worried about it at all, he probably would have figured on the second option, but… it didn’t matter.

Only one thing in the world did and it was currently lying lax and waxen-looking on dark sheets that usually made that skin glow with vitality regardless of the winter-paleness.

“Goin’ ta make you better, Xander,” Spike growled softly, stripping himself without care for buttons or seams. “Should have talked about… but we didn’t and there’s no bloody time now, and…”

The bloodstained clothes were easy to rip away from his bloke’s body, and not just because he never wanted to see them again but because… well, he didn’t know why but if things hadn’t been so dire, he still wouldn’t have been any more careful.

“Sorry, luv… so sorry… know what I said, what I promised, but… can’t wait for you ta be ready, Xan… not now; not when I’m losin’ you…”

Long, bloodstained fingers separated limp legs, wrapping them around his waist and Spike literally sobbed at the knowledge of just how much Xander was going to hate him once this was done… and yet even with the urgency, with the time ticking away one faltering beat at a time, he couldn’t bring himself to just do it.

It would have been one thing if his bloke hadn’t been through what he’d experienced as a child, but… Xander had, and… “Oh, bloody hell… Dear God, if you’ll listen ta a thing like me… please let him live long enough! Can’t hurt him any worse than I have ta!” And he was begging a deity who—if he existed—had long since turned his back on him, but… he didn’t care. Hell, he’d become the world’s first vampire priest if this worked. Or not really, but maybe the thought was enough, and…

Lotion-slicked fingers found the tightly budded entry to his Xander’s body and probed delicately but swiftly and if the bloke had been awake, it wouldn’t have been enough, but that was exactly the problem. Xander wasn’t awake. Xander was barely even alive.

“So sorry, luv,” Spike said again, the words whispered as the two fingers that had just been inside what should have been stunning heat found their way to slick his cock heavily. “So… bloody… sorry, Xan… love you, pet… love you too much ta let you go like this…”

He forced himself in with one long, deep thrust, and when the limp body beneath him tensed, Spike did what he had to do.

His hand moved to his neck, nails digging roughly at his own flesh… and when his desperate gouging tore open a large enough wound, he raised his boy’s head just enough to press those slack, too-pale lips to it. “Drink, luv,” he ordered, driving the demand home with a swift, hard thrust of his hips, and if there were steady, heavy drops of salty fluid dripping from his eyes, well... Spike figured nobody but he would ever know it.

* * * * *

It wasn’t a white light. It was more like… pink. Then again, maybe that was for his benefit. If he was gay, then a pink light was really more reasonable, Xander figured.

His eyes scanned the featureless rosy glow for what seemed like an eternity but also like a mere moment, and when he turned he saw… “Anya?”

The young woman smiled. “Xander. I would say it’s nice to see you here but it really isn’t. It’s not your time.”

Xander frowned, his head shaking slightly. “I don’t… what happened, Anya? Where are we?”

Anya shrugged. “It’s not so much a ‘where’ as a ‘what’, I guess. You won’t find it on any maps, anyway. It’s… I guess you could say it’s like a… a place to wait and see where you’re going. And as for what happened…” She sighed. “I think you remember, Xander. You may not want to remember, but you do. I would spare you that if I could.”

“Right. Because you were always so…” Xander smiled sheepishly. “No. That’s not true. What my tone implied. You were always worried about my feelings, even when you didn’t want to be. I… I know that now.”

“Then you know it’s not your fault, Xander,” the blonde said gently. “You were right. We really would have made marriage a Hell. And okay, it hurt my feelings when you walked away from our wedding, but Xander… part of that was because you’d had the courage to do what I didn’t.” She smiled a little. “But that’s all in the past. I’ve… moved on, you could say. And so have you. To Spike, of all beings!”

It was only the gleam of wicked amusement in his ex’s eyes that kept Xander from panicking.

“Gah! And I so never saw that one coming! But I… it did, and you… you’re really not mad?” He bit his lip a little, trying desperately not to look as guilty as he felt.

She grinned. “No. I’ll only be mad if you don’t take what he’s offering. He… God, Xander. How do I say this?”

He couldn’t help it. He blinked. “Oh, God. Don’t tell me you’ve finally discovered tact! Is the world ending? Is that why we’re here?” He grinned back at her then frowned a moment later when her expression turned serious. “It is. The world is ending. Shit!”

“No. Not exactly. But your position in the living world is in question. You’re dying, Xander. And Spike… Spike is trying to save you.”

“Well, good. That’s good, right? Spike saves me, I live, we make sure Dawny gets into a good college… so it’s good. Uh, isn’t it good?”

It was Anya’s turn to bite her lip as she glanced away. “If you let him save you, you live. But… things will be different, Xander. He… oh, God, I don’t want to be the one to tell you this but you have to choose. You’re on the edge right now. You could go either way.”

Brown eyes narrowed slightly. “Okay. I choose Spike. Better the devil I know, right? Or… he isn’t trying to save me by turning me, is he? Because I so don’t want to be a vampire! Not even one with a soul, because… well, there’s enough of those already, right? And the blood drinking? Can I just say ewww?”

A short laugh was followed immediately by Anya shaking her head. “No. He’s not making you into a vampire but you won’t be… exactly human anymore. I mean, okay. Still with the heartbeat and needing sleep and food and all that, but… Xander, you won’t be the same.”

“But I won’t drink blood, right?”

“You won’t need to drink blood after you’re back. No.”

“Fine. Then I want to go, Anya. I… I’m sorry, but I do. I love him.” He paled suddenly. “Uh, not that I don’t love you too, but it’s…”

“It’s not the same,” she finished for him. “I know. And if you’re going to go back, you should really do it now. You know, before Spike gets all angsty and broody and glowery over not letting you die.”

The sudden rushing sensation caught Xander by surprise, even as he tried to puzzle out why his lover would get upset about saving him. “Wha…?”

“What the…” he cried out as he snapped back to himself and felt the body on him… in him… Spike was inside him and he was… he was… there was blood in his mouth and…“N-no…! No, I… S-spike, d-don’t, I don’t want…”

* * * * *

God, he wanted to stop, wanted to pull away from his Xander’s tight, ever-more-heated body, but he couldn’t, and Xander wasn’t drinking him anymore; was talking, of all things, and that wasn’t supposed to happen and…

“C-can’t… stop,” he managed to groan, even as he held his boy down harder, hips pistoning almost wildly as he plunged repeatedly into the depths of the hot, shaking body beneath him.

“Need… it ta… count, luv… oh, bloody… bloody hell, Xander… just let… let me… need ta… so sorry, luv… so bloody sorry… promised, I did… no choice, pet… had ta…”

And that stunned him for another moment because Spike was right. He had promised, and… and as far as Xander knew, the vampire had never broken his word; not since the soul, anyway, and if Spike was… doing this without his approval then there had to be some reason and…

He whimpered as a particularly forceful thrust rocked him deep into the mattress, small bolts of pain shooting through him from his aching anus, and yet… it was nothing like the pain he’d somehow expected to feel from finally doing this and… and then it happened.

“Need ta finish this,” the blond grunted, still muttering, his voice strained and rough, “So sorry, luv… said I wouldn’t…” He shifted higher, working to find release inside his boy… his claimed when this was done, and at the first shocked and wordless shout he slowed. “Xan… Xander… bloody hell, luv, don’t want ta hurt you… never again, pet, but I need ta…” And then there were strong, warm arms around him, holding him close and he couldn’t quite manage to look into those doubtlessly loathing eyes.

It was that last thrust that had made him yelp, his hips arching into it as the thick, ready length in his ass brushed roughly against what had to be his prostate. There was nothing else it could be, Xander figured, his eyes widening with surprise and stunned pleasure. He held Spike tightly, trying not to lose the sensation, only hearing the stumbling words after a good few seconds.

“N-no… no.” He forced the words from his lips on a breath he really needed for other things but Spike was worried and upset and he couldn’t ignore that; not when he thought he might finally understand… something. “No… just… G-god, Spike. Go… g-go slow, ok-kay? I…”

Well, that had him stopped in his tracks like nothing else could have. “Xander… I… y-you…”

He took the opportunity to breathe, even while he got used to the sensation of being opened wide and filled nearly to bursting with his lover’s cock. “W-whatever happened, you h-have some reason for d-doing this, baby. I… I know it. I just… s-since we’re here and all, sh-show me how this can f-f-feel g-good, okay…? I… p-p-please, Spike.”

And okay, so he was ignoring the whole thing where he’d been drinking Spike’s blood, but… one trauma at a time was about all Xander figured he could handle. “Th-that last… it felt k-kinda, um…” He blushed. “Maybe you could d-do that again…?”

His bloke didn’t hate him. The realization filled his mind as he leaned down, pressing himself deeper without really moving at all. “Think I could… do that, luv. Y’know, ‘since we’re here and all’…” He smirked hopefully at the blush his boy suddenly sported. “Just lift your legs up, pet… ‘round my ribs, yah?” He groaned when the new position had him balls-deep inside that glorious hole.

“Oh… God,” Xander whispered, eyes growing wider still, “Th-that’s… different.” He moaned loud and long when the vampire covering him rocked just a bit. “Oh, yeah… definitely d-different. Good-different.” Still a little bit achey and a lot uncomfortable, but… good.

“Bloody hell… goin’ ta start movin’ now, Xan… have ta, a’right? Can’t help it. Feels so… bloody… you feel…”

The first long, slow slide out and back in had Xander hard as a rock. The next implacable thrust had him gasping when the sensation from earlier was repeated. “Oh… oh, r-right there…” he whimpered, fingers finding purchase on cool, soft skin and the flexing muscles that lay beneath. “God, Spike… I n-never… never thought… but it’s s-so… you’re so… and God, d-don’t s-s-stop… j-just l-like th-th-that…”

He wasn’t sure of whether it was the hitched breaths or the little stutters that were getting to him so much, but Spike didn’t care. It was all Xander, either way, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to make this as good for the bloke as possible, the way it had started aside.

“Not stoppin’, luv,” he gasped softly into one reddened ear as he forced himself to move slowly, carefully… but forcefully too. “Goin’ ta make you quiver, Xan… build you up ‘til you can’t resist spillin’ long an’ hard between us… and then I’m goin’ ta pull outta you and lick you clean, luv… know how much you love my mouth on you, I do.”

He chuckled shakily at the deep moan the words earned him, his body moving just a little bit faster as his boy embraced the experience fully. “And when you’re all cleaned up, luv, and I’ve taken in every drop of you…? I’m goin’ ta slip right back inta you, Xan… and do it all over again. Want ta see your face when I open you up, don’t I? See your eyes all glazed and hot with need and want.” He swallowed hard, pressing his lips to the full, red ones beneath him. “Missed that this time, pet. Can’t go another night without it.”

“Oh… oh, God…”

“Yah… goin’ ta be callin’ out for him, you are… and nobody there ta answer you but your Spike, luv…”

Spike growled softly as he pulled back, leaving just the thick head of his shaft inside the blessing of his boy’s body, then he slid forward once more. His own moan of pleasure was drowned out by Xander’s mewl, but that was fine, he figured.

“And I am yours, pet… have been for ages. Thing is… bloody hell…” Another long, slow slide, his bloke’s scrambling hands spurring him on, “You… bloody… mine too, Xander… mine too, now, and I…”

Too many words that he wasn’t even hearing. Too much proof that Spike wasn’t as consumed by what they were doing as he was.

Long, thick fingers grasped desperately at pale skin, even as Xander arched hard into the latest thrust and he forced himself to clench around the intruding but now blissfully filling shaft piercing him.

“S-spike…” he managed to whimper, his own action increasing the immediacy of the sensation, “P-p-please…”

And if that wasn’t a sign of some sort, Spike didn’t know what was.

His body moved harder, faster, still taking care not to hurt his bloke any more than was necessary… and when Xander’s fingers dug deep into the flesh of his ass, pulling him almost roughly into the hot, safe haven of his body, Spike howled.

His sac tightened even more, drawing up tight and hard against his body. “Love you,” he groaned, pressing deep, hard, full… and when he felt the throbbing length trapped between them pulse; when he heard his boy’s loud, keening wail and found his skin being splattered with hot, rich seed, he came.

He came long, hard… nearly endlessly, and if he’d known how good it could be, Xander figured he might have tried this sooner, but… weak, a sissy boy, nothing but a fucking faggot; gonna show you what being a faggot is, you sorry little shit… he’d never had the nerve.

Hell, though… if this was what Spike had felt all the times he’d been allowed inside the vampire’s body, then no wonder the blond hadn’t complained.

His arms held tight around the pale but strong form, reveling in the coolness both within and without as Spike filled him nearly to overflowing with thick spunk, and wasn’t that an odd sensation, but not bad, just new, and… his own shaft finally spilled its last between them, his thoughts emerging in unintelligible gasps and groans.

For his own part, Spike was lost. He’d just spent the last however long inside his bloke; had come inside his boy! And Xander was awake and knew it and didn’t hate him, which was entirely not what he’d expected and he didn’t know quite how to handle it or how to believe it, but he did.

And then he replayed the slightly naughty words he’d said; the promises he’d made… and a slow, blissful smile spread across his lips as he pulled himself from Xander’s hole, groaning as the still-tight sphincter mapped each ridge and vein until he was free.

“Goin’ ta do just what I said, luv,” he whispered, gold-flecked eyes locked on starry brown, “but first, Xan… goin’ ta kiss you. Need ta kiss you now. Hope you don’t mind…” And then cool lips met hot ones and Spike… was lost.

* * * * *
tbc... hopefully next week sometime.