Rating: Adult overall
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story
Summary: Xander has a crush. William has a secret
Clutching Xander tightly and sobbing, William could not get past the thought that
'He is still here. He stayed.'
He couldn't understand why, but he was so overwhelmingly grateful.
Just the feel of the strong arms anchored him and kept him from
becoming victim to the tsunami of memories.
It seemed as though the weight that had engulfed his whole life,
body and soul,was now lessened.
He was through hiding.
Xander knew everything and was still here.
He was right.
Xander was a true white night, and William a damsel in distress.
That last part caused his tears to stall long enough for a
giggle to creep in.
Wondering if he had finally snapped and lost his thread thin grip
on sanity William caught himself and pulled back from the
warm security of Xander's arms.
Leaning forward and kissing his red, puffy eyes Xander searched
William's face for a clue to his present state of mind.
He hoped to God forcing him to talk about it and remember
it was not a mistake.
"Why did you stay, Xander?" He had to know.
For once William needed to know if the ground under his
feet was stone or sand.
"I'm here for you, William. Because you have carried an impossible
burden alone for too long. You're not a murderer. You are an innocent
who was put in a life or death situation and did what you had every right to do.
I wish I had been there. I would have killed him myself.
Now I'm going to take you home and together we are going to share
the weight of the memory until it is so light and insignificant
that one morning it will just blow away like a dust mite in
In the mean time, if it is all right with you, we will settle
in and try to build a life together."
"Are you sure? We haven't known each other long, and I've never
lived with anyone before. You may find me to be rather annoying.
I don't want this if it is just out of pity, Xander"
It took all of William's new found strength to add that last part,
because the truth was he didn't care if it just was pity.
He wanted to walk away from this ugly room and his solitary life.
He wanted to go with his Xander and never leave his side, to
confess his love endlessly and start life anew.
All those times he had sat with his Grandda and talked about
love and finding that one special man came to his mind.
Grandda had easily accepted his admission of being gay
when he was very young, and said it didn't matter.
Love was love, and he told William he would recognize it when it
came his way.
"If you love him take a hard look into his mind and soul. If he is a
good man, honest, and moral, and if he truly loves you, grab him.
Gay or straight, true love like that is something everybody looks for.
It is what I had with your Grandmum and no one else."
The memories of it filled his heart.
Xander was all those things. He was all that and more.
William knew Grandda would very much approve.
An odd thought came to William's mind.
He had for some time believed that Grandda's spirit had
put that walking stick right where it was just
when he needed it most to save his life.
Had Grandda sent him Xander for the same reason?
"It is not pity, William. To carry all that for so long, you are the
strongest person I know. And I need that strength in my life.
I need you in my life.
I haven't lived with anyone either so we will have to learn to work
together. And besides, if you get to annoying I may have to put you
over my knee and spank your soft little bottom.
Now, we are both tired and Willow went on ahead to make some tea.
Let's go back home."
William's eyes glazed over. He briefly wondered how annoying he
would have to be to earn such a glorious punishment.
Still tightly clutching the front of Xander's shirt in both his fists,
William started to pull back. Every muscle and bone in his body screamed
from the tension that had twisted him into knots.
Reaching his arm around William's waist, Xander pulled him flush
against his chest and rose easily to his feet lifting William with him.
"This has been a hell of a morning. If there is anything here you
need, grab it and let's go. The rest of it we can come for later."
William didn't need to give it a moments thought.
"I don't believe there is anything that won't wait till another day."
Leaning contentedly against Xander, William let himself be led
towards the door and away from his past when he suddenly stopped.
"Xander, what about the letter, the articles. Who sent them?
What are they going to do with the information?
I won't let you risk your job or lose your friends because of
what I did."
Xander took William's face in his hands and look intently into his soft blue eyes.
"I don't know who sent it, Baby, but I guarantee I will find out.
There is nothing anyone can do to hurt us, Will. My friends are my
friends and they will be yours too. Whoever sent this is not our friend,
but it is not something to be afraid of. I promise you will be safe with me."
With one hand on the door knob and the other on Will's back, Xander
turned and scanned the place that William had called home.
That's when an odd thought occured to him and he just had to ask.
"Just wondering, Will. If your Mother and Grandfather left you
some money, and you are well over the age of 16, what
happened to it?
Not that I care, but I hate that you had to live in this run down
building in this crowded little room.
Wasn't there enough that you could have gotten a regular apartment?
I mean, I understand if you don't want to talk about it. And you really
don't need anything because I will very happily take care of you."
With that Xander leaned down and kissed William warmly on the lips.
"Oh the money is still there. I couldn't bring myself to touch it.
It always seemed like blood money, and I was too ashamed to use it.
It was such a cruel reminder of every thing I lost and what I did.
Mr. Rayne minds the accounts for me. He sends me yearly reports on it,
but I seldom open them. He is a good man and I trust him completely.
I know he has a caretaker and family living in the carriage house on the
estate and I authorized him to pay all expenses related to it.
Estate? Carriage house? Accounts?
"Will, Sweetheart, Baby, Love of my life, how much money are we talking about?"
Shrugging, Will tried to think it over. "I really don't know exactly, Xander. I know with investments and interest, Mr. Rayne said it has grown considerably.
When I first collected my trust at age 16 it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 million pounds. Can we go now?
I do believe a cup of Miss Willow's tea would be most welcome."