SilverAmericana (silveramericana) wrote in bloodclaim,
SilverAmericana
silveramericana
bloodclaim

err, Another Fic search?

I was wondering if anyone knows this one.  Xander is some sort of guardian for the Hellmouth, and cannot die, he is in a relationship with Spike, but Spike keeps getting itchy feet and leaving, and Xander stays in Sunnyhell for some reason, maybe tied there?  Anyway, it goes on for a loong time, and Xander gets so depressed he kills himself on a regular basis when Spike is gone to the point Willow is used to cleaning up after him hanging himself or something.  There is something about journals in red and black?

All I've got, anyone got a clue? Ive already looked through Spanderfiles Angst, and it's not there, i don't think.
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