Author : BmblBee
Rating : Adult eventually
Paring : S/X
Disclaimer : I do not own any of the characters in this story
Summary : Xander goes looking for adventure. When he finds
it, he gets more than he gambled on.
It's funny how much time it takes to be bored.
Life on the hellmouth seemed to just speed by.
Speed by and crash for those who were stupid or careless enough
to fall victim to it.
But for the survivors you just got older before you had the
chance to be young.
Every thing seemed to move at high speed.
Days meant school, jobs, family, friends, food.
Nights were for fighting, dancing, movies, laughing, and still friends.
The same friends.
The day friends. Always by your side.
One minute you are a child, then a certain blond moves to town and life
goes into hyperdrive. A blur.
Funny that it went by so fast, yet thinking back on it
you could remember every wonderful detail.
Even when you were hurt or scared to death it was wonderful
because you felt so alive.
Too alive to ever think you could really die.
Now it was gone. Sucked into a giant hole that left nothing
but fond memories and big checks.
Uncle Sam had really come through for them, though. Not only had FEMA
set up a trailer and started handing out handfuls
of cash unquestioningly, but half a dozen lawyers swooped in like
vultures and sued every insurance company, business, and institution
they could think of.
The small number of survivors who made it out alive were set for life.
Coincendently so were the lawyers.
But when it was all done, life seemed to grind to a screetching halt.
For the first time in his young life, Xander was at loose ends.
He had plenty of money, but nothing he wanted to spend it on,
and no one to enjoy it with.
Anya was long gone. Left after the debacle of a nonwedding and
weeks before the crash.
Buffy, Dawn and the slayers went with Giles to England.
Willow left on a single witches cruise to look for love.
Last he heard Spike had gone to LA to be with his sire.
For some reason that one had bothered him more than he expected.
Oh they all tried to coax him to come with, except Spike,
but none of it interested him.
He felt in his heart that there was something out there for him and
all he had to do was go look for it.
So he packed his car, a new Miata convertable (thank you very
much to the kind taxpayers of the U.S.of A.)
and headed out. No real plan. No real direction.
Or so he told himself.
LA might be nice.
Big city and all.
Change of pace.
See the lights.
Enjoy the night life.
Oh fuck it.
He wanted to see Spike. Only because things were more exciting when
the vampire was around.
'Yea, that's it.' Xander thought 'I'm bored and Spike will liven things up.'
Even just the challenge of verbal smart assing with Spike excited him.
Just the thought of it had Xander smiling and his foot pressing
down harder on the gas pedel.
It only fleetingly occured to him that he might not be welcome.
That Spike might have started a new unlife and didn't want Xander in it.
That he might be all settled in with his blockhead of a sire
and was happy doing God knows what with him.
But that was a thought that caused that dark lonley feeling
to lick around the edges of his brain and heart so he didn't
allow it to grow, quickly shoving it back down he shifted his
plans and his car into fifth gear and roared on.
In the end of the Sunnydale times he and Spike were on pretty good terms.
Maybe not friends, but ....something
All he knew was that for the first time in his life he was his own man.
A clean slate. He could be and do anything he wanted.
Relaxing back into the rich leather seat, he decided that the
long drive would give him the opportunity to examine what it was
that he wanted and how Spike fit into his new life.
So what did he want to do?
Actually Xander was not as stupid as he pretended and he had a vague
idea of what he wanted.
He knew after the night Anya had rented that gay western porn movie to spice up their sex life that their marriage would not have worked.
Anya suspected it too, especially after he had asked her to roll
over and groan in a lower voice.
For months that memory caused him to wince and cringe.
He really felt bad for letting Anya down and the realization that
he may be gay, or bi, or something, had hit him like Thor's hammer.
But now he was alone.
There was no one to disappoint.
No one to prove himself to.
It was time to find himself, and that should be easy cause he was
Still pondering what exactly he expected from this trip, and lost
in his own thoughts and daydreams, he reached the city limits of Los Angeles.
Smog, noise, conjestion, and people in a place so vast he could not
comprehend how far the streets could extend and still be considered
within the borders.
It was a good thing he had been here before with Buffy or
he would have never attempted to find Angel's place among all the other
delapatated hotels sitting on all the other hillsides.
Big cities were confusing.
Driving along minding your own business, and the first thing you
know you are on a one way street.
Going the wrong way.
How does that happen?
Besides, that garbage truck was way to big to be on a side street this small.
So if he had to run up on the curb to avoid Xander - well that's just too bad.
Whipping up to park, he saw it. It was just as he remembered it.
Looking it over he briefy wondered if they had filmed the Munsters or the Addams Family here.
Climbing out of the car, he walked around and with his arms crossed
he leaned back against the side of his very expensive, very red convertable
and let his gaze drift upward.
It was dark, gloomy, depressing, forboding, and badly in need of repair.
It looked like absolute heaven.
It was everything Xander was familiar and comfortable with.
And as a big plus, it had Spike. Of course that only interested him because
he had nothing better to do. No one else to insult. Nothing else to...
No, to be honest, at least with himself, Spike felt like home,
and that was what he ached for. The familiar.
Something to surround himself in like a baggy hawaiian shirt and cut off shorts.
Truth be told he hadn't slept well since it all fell apart six months ago, and he was tired.
So once he had made up his mind to come here it had all clicked in his mind as right.
He felt like he did the time Jessie had given him that Rubic's Cube and after weeks of fucking with it the final side snaped in place and it was perfect.
Never doubting his decision, the decision had become an obsession.
He thought of nothing else. He thought of no one else. Now he was here and he was inexplicably nervous. "Well fuck it' He thought 'Here we go'
Shoving off the side of the car he started up the stairway to the front door.
It had been a long drive and it was late in the day, but not yet sunset so he knew they would not be out and about yet.
The sky was starting to darken in anticpation of the world being turned
over once again to an alternate population. One that lives in
contrast to the warm blooded day people. The day people that go to work and provide the goods and services that keep the city functioning so that when they go home and sit down to dinner and tuck themselves into their warm beds, their counter parts are free to roam the streets.
Just like the day people, the demons defy catagorization.
They are good. They are evil They lie, they cheat, they care for their own.
Some even look out for the homeless. The humans that have no place
to go when the day ends. Some of the demons pass as human. Some of the
humans are more than demon.
It's all a blend and Xander was one of the few humans to recognize it existed.
Xander knew all of this. It was the world he had grown up in. He had spent his whole life on the hell mouth and now was equally comfortable in both of these worlds.
In both of these populations.
It can be very confusing to someone who looks at the world as one
way or the other.
It used to be confusing to Xander. Not anymore.
It's just the way it is.
He had long abandoned the idea that all demons were
bad and all people good.
He just accepted it all as The World, and he desperately
sought a place and a companion in it.