Rating: Adult overall
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story,
and make no money off them.
Summary: Xander hits the big city looking for excitement
and a certain vamp
Xander had arrived for work right on time and slipped in to the
employee dressing room.
He knew Spike would already be on the table as he preferred to
dress at home.
Starting a new job had stopped making Xander nervous years ago.
He had way to much experience.
Besides, he had been practicing his line all afternoon and felt he had
it down pat.
"LIKE a beer? Like A beer?" Like a BEER?" Yea, he was ready.
Just as he was putting the finishing touch of oil on his smooth,
surprisingly erotic, hairless body, Mr. Kermit rushed in to welcome
"Xander, my boy!" Xander was scooped up and thoroughly sniffed.
Dropping him like a hot potato, Kermit stepped back.
Xander continued to tie his shoes
"Yea, it was getting a little too ripe."
"Yes, I understand." Kermit nodded seriously. "Sometimes you
just get some many layers of spunk on yourself you must scrape
one or two off. Happens to the best of us"
Xander wrinkled his nose, but made no reply.
"No problem. The customers, they will love you any way. Not too
often do they get access to a real human."
The wording of that struck Xander as odd, but not really concerning,
so feeling he was ready, he adjusted his bow tie and prepared to enter
the casino floor.
"Any last minute instructions for me?"
Mr. Kermit stood back and openly admired the young man in front of him.
"Sure, yes, just remember, the customers can touch, tip and sniff.
It is probably wise, though, not to let them nibble. Some have poor
That seemed reasonable to Xander. "Anything else?"
"Well, we do cater to a large contingence of frottage demons. Our
only rule with them is that if they do a full body bump and roll around
you, and then come in their pants within three minutes, we ask that they
tip you. Only seems fair'
'Damn,' Xander could have just kicked himself for leaving the apartment
without his watch.
With all bases covered, it was time. Xander strutted confidently to the door.
Turning around at the last minute he blasted a high beam smile and with his
most animated jazz hands announced proudly "Like a beer?!"
He was gone before noticing Mr. Kermit grab both his cocks and do
a double come in his pants.
'I can't wait to see Spike's face when he sees me in this outfit. Just
knowing I am going to be all up under his dead nose every night will
drive him batty.
Hee Hee batty.
Xander was giddy with anticipation.
After stopping by the bar for a sniff and a tray from the bartender,
Xander headed toward the center of the floor.
Creeping up behind Spike he let one rip "Like a beer?"
The response was every thing he had hoped for. The hand of cards
Spike was dealing flew into the air.
Seeing that the dealer was obviously distracted, several of the
players scrambled for the aces and face cards.
Others attempted to snatch chips.
Just as quickly, Spike recovered and snapped back around in demon face
"Hey!" He snarled.
Sheepishly they all smiled and replaced what they had taken.
Looking back at Xander, all he said was "We'll talk later."
The rest of the evening went surprisingly well. Xander found
he really liked this job.
He handed out beers faster than condoms in a high school locker
room, and the tips just rolled in.
Around midnight a frottage demon did indeed do a rub an roll.
Luckily he was aware of the rule and as soon as he released Xander's
body he whipped out a stop watch.
Clicking the button on the top, Xander and the demon both waited.
2 minutes, 30 seconds and the eruption in his pants could be seen
from across the room.
Xander smiled and held out his hand.
The demon giggled and counted out the bills.
Nervously, Spike had been closly watching the entire evening unfold,
and he was not happy.
Xander was exactly the type of toy these demons like to play
with. Ordinarily that wouldn't bother him, he knew that physically
Xander was safe.
Neither Spike or Mr. Kermit would allow any thing to happen to him.
No, that wasn't what had Spike concerned.
It was the amount of money Xander was earning.
The tips were adding up rapidly.
At this rate Xander would have enough money to repay the debt in
just a few nights work.
Apparently the same realization struck Xander and in unison they looked
at each other and requested "Take a break?"
It took 5 more minutes before Xander was able to get free and by the
time he hustled out the back door Spike had already lit up
and smoked half a cigarette.
Attempting to look disinterested, he tipped up his head
"So got you a job, huh?"
"Yea, thought I could earn some money, you know what with being
broke and all. Still no where near close enough to being able
to pay you off, though, so if you are even thinking of trying to
get rid of me just forget it Buddy."
"Bloody right you're not leaving. Owe me a bunch, you do.
More every day.
What with food and shelter and hot water. Take long enough showers
to cause all that pink skin to pucker like your grandma's ass, you do"
"Damn right, you evil fiend! And don't you even think about trying
to throw me out or I swear you never will see any of that money!
When did you see my grandma's ass?"
Mumbling as he ground out his cigarette butt, Spike cringed at the memory.
"Might have walked in on her when she was visiting at your place.
Thought it was you in the shower. Pulled back the curtain and......."
Spike and Xander both shuddered violently.
Xander cheered considerably, "Well, now that that's settled, I suggest
we get back to work"
Holding the door open to allow Xander to pass through first, Spike bowed
at the waist and with a sweep of his hand smiled
"After you, Roomy"