bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,
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A Consort's Holiday

TITLE: A Consort's Holiday 5/26
AUTHOR: BmblBee
PARING: S/X
RATING : Very Adult
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in
this story and make no money
off anything including
any products named.
SUMMARY: This story is a follow-up to
"What Happens In Vegas"

The newly mated couple decide
to take a little holiday.

Genre: Comedy.




Totally uninterested in the pandemonium his coital driving
had caused, Spike relaxed back in his plush leather, slightly
stained seat. All was good. All was.....
"Xanpet, be a love and toss me a blood pack."

"Sure thing, Spikey, my One and Only. Where did you put
them?" Xander was turned around in the seat, perched
on his knees, ass in the air, and rummaging in the pile
of bags and cases in the back.

Xander had taken great pains to organize, alphabetically,
all treats and snacks he would need. He did, however, feel
it was an outrageous injustice that Apple would come before
Twinkie. He solved the problem by leaving all fruit behind.

One cooler contained sodas, one was filled with pudding
snack packs. The two really should never be mixed.

"I didn't put them anywhere, dearest. You were the one
who was supposed to put the cooler in the car. It was
sitting by the front door. Only an idiot would have
missed it.

Course I notice you brought all of your own snacks.
In fact, my little bubble butt, this car shouldn't be measured
in miles per gallon. It should be rated at 10 Twinkies
Per Mile."
Spike kept his eyes on the road and the sneer on his face.

Xander stopped his rooting to face his irratating smartass
vampire.
"Hey! Are you calling me fat? Cause I'll have you know
there are plenty of vamps out there that would love the
chance to fuck this bubble butt."

Xander leaned back over, still on his knees and wagged
his ass in Spike's face. He then grabbed another snack
cake from the box and proceeded to bite the end, suck out
the filling and shove the remainder in his mouth in one bite.

Spike sighed deeply "And sadly enough that turns me on as
much as it disgusts me. So what the fuck am I supposed to
do for food especially considering we are only a couple
hours away from daylight."

All anger forgotten, Xander turned and dropped back down
in his seat.
Planning, figuring, problem solving. These were all not
Xander's strong suit, but he was determined to do his best.
Screwing up his brow into a strained look of concentration,
Xander dropped his chin in his hand and tried to focus.

'O.k., think. Gotta get blood. Money is no problem.
Surely we should be coming up on a city soon. Cities
usually have demon populations Maybe we could.......

Oh, look. I dropped a blob of sugary goodness on my shirt.
Wonder if I could subtly lick it off? No, that would be
too noticeable. Maybe a quick swipe with my finger,
then pretend to bite my fingernail as I suck it off"

Spike also was deep in thought. He knew they would have
to find shelter soon and wait out the day. One or two days
without blood would not cause starvation, but it was not a
situation he wanted to put himself in.

Glancing over at his Consort, it warmed his heart to
see the serious look of concern on his face.
It thrilled him to know that Xander was trying so hard
to think of an answer to Spike's problem.

Just as he was mentally sorting through his options,
a large sign on the side of the road caused an immediate plan
to formulate in his evil little mind. He didn't have all the
particulars in place, but the overall idea appeared to be the
perfect solution to their problem.

Slamming on the brake and darting toward the off ramp,
Spike took the turn on two wheels.
"Ouch! Shit Spike! You caused me to damn near bite
the end of my finger off! I mean besides my fingernail,
cause I was only biting my fingernail."

Spike looked over questioningly. "What the fuck you
going on about? No, never mind. I think I have found
the answer to our problem."

Squinting in the direction Spike was pointing, he saw that
they were rapidly approaching a hospital zone.
"It's a hospital, Spike"
Spike had a huge grin on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.
"No, Xan, it's a fuckin' buffet."

Realization arrived, and Xander's face lit up.
"Cool. How do we get the blood? Bet they keep it in a
fridge. Wonder where they keep the fridge. Probably next
to the stove and sink. Guess that means a kitchen.
No, I don't think that would be good. That would make
the food taste funny. Although I did have some pudding
one time when I had my appendix out that smelled a
little off."

Spike frowned at the bizarre rant.
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm fucking starving
here and trying to come up with a plan and you're talking
about pudding. If you don't fuckin' shut the fuck up so I can
think I'll stick one of those butt plugs in your mouth.
A used one. A very recently used one!"

Xander huffed and bristled. "Well that's just rude. I was
only trying to help."

Spike banged his head slowly on the steering wheel.
All he needed now was a huffy Xander in a snit.
But when he turned to apologize the look on Xander's
face was one that brought fear to his dead heart.

It was not the look of anger or recrimination. It was
something far worse.

It was the look of "Xan with a plan"
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