bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,
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bmblbee
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A Consort's Holiday

TITLE: A Consort's Holiday 18/26
AUTHOR: BmblBee
PARING: S/X
RATING : Very Adult
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in
this story and make no money
off anything including
any products named.
SUMMARY: This story is a follow-up to
"What Happens In Vegas"
The newly mated couple decide
to take a little holiday.
Comedy.



The landscape of New Mexico was entirely different than
anything Xander was accustomed to.

California had heat, but it was a humid, sweat inducing,
mosquito biting type of heat.

New Mexico was dry.
It was hot and flat and dry as dust.

Both men felt flaky and crusty from long hours of driving
through a landscape that consisted of sand dotted with
tumbleweeds and, oh yes, more sand.

They had brought, what Spike considered ridiculous
amounts of bottled water and were now arguing over the
last one.

Spike's patience was wearing thin and he was not above
playing the sympathy card.

"Xan, Love, if you don't give me the last of the water
there is a real danger of me drying up, turning to dust and
blowing away You don't want your vampire dusted
do you.?"

Xander had no sympathy to spare.

"Spike, my sweet, you touch the water and I will
dust your ass myself."

Rapidly feeling his temper flare, Spike went for the
big guns.

"Xander Harris! I, William the Bloody, your Master,
is giving you an order. Reach in the backseat and
give me the goddamn water bottle. And be fuckin'
quick about it."

Spike snapped his fingers confidently.

Xander knew when he had been bested.
Demurly he unhooked his seatbelt.
Xander turned in his seat and settled on his knees.

"Yes, Master. Your wish is my command."

He then reached over the back of the seat picked up the
last unopened bottle and quickly unscrewed the cap.
Before Spike could get a clue, Xander had half of it
swallowed.

Slamming on the brakes, Xander fell backward smacking
his back into the dashboard and spraying the mouthful
of water throughout the interior of the car.

Laughing manically, Spike again stepped on the gas.
Xander was furious.

How had he ever thought Spike's quirky behavior was
cute?
Well this called for drastic measures.

He was pulling out all the stops.
Scrambling into the backseat, Xander rummaged through
their overnight case locating instantly what he needed.

"That's it, Spike!" Xander dramatically unbuttoned and
unzipped his pants.

"I'm Jacking off Spike! I'm going to pull on this puppy till
it is too pooped to pop for a week!"

Spike went rigid in his seat.

'HE WOULDN'T DARE!'

Repositioning the rear view mirror Spike tried to keep
one eye on the road and one on the backseat.

He was horrified to see Xander recklessly slapping excessive
amounts of lube on his already exposed cock.

And he was using the good stuff!!

"Stop it!! Stop it right now!"

"OH GOD, Spike! This is it. I'm lovin' it! The balls are
next, Spike. I'm touchin' the balls!"

Spike was stunned that Xander would go to such
unbelievable lengths.

Had he no limits?

Had he no appreciation for Spike's position in this
fucked up relationship?

"Damn it Xander. Get your hands off that thing right now!
Drop the lube and get your hands in the air. Don't piss
me off any more than I already am. You'll be sorry."

Spike frantically scanned the roadside for a place to
pull over.

In the mean time Xander continued to moan, groan and
flop around the back seat like a trout out of water.

"I'm coming Spike. Open an umbrella cause it's gonna be
a big one. It's all for you, Baby! Here it comes you ass"

And before Spike could respond Xander let rip a fart
of monumental proportions.

"Jesus H. Christ! Did you shit yourself? Cause I sure the
hell ain't cleaning that up"

Spike got the car to the side of the road and fell out gasping
before he had the chance to remember that he didn't need
to breath.

Xander took his time.
He opened the back door and stepped out calmly.
He was unaffected. He had smelled worse. He had
caused worse.

Leisurely tucking his still flaccid member away Xander
zipped up and waited for the fall out.

It took only as long as it took Spike to get to his feet
and charge around to the passenger side of the car.

Seeing him coming, Xander turned to run.
He got about 50 feet when he stopped dead in his tracks.
Skidding to a stop behind him Spike hooked Xander's
neck in a head lock.

"Wait, Spike, look!"

Trying to wipe the blind fury from his vision, Spike saw
what Xander was pointing to.
It was a large rectangular sign posted in the desert that read.

ROSWELL NEW MEXICO
DEBRIS FIELD
UFO CRASH SITE
WELCOME!


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