Title: The More Things Change
Feedback: Comments and email
Concrit: by email please
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss and a bunch of lawyers. I only wish they belonged to me cause I'd make em do naughty things together forever. I'm just playing with them. No disrespect intended. No reflection on real persons or places intended. I'm not making any profit from this. This is strictly for entertainment.
Warnings/Squicks: M/M, Graphic Sex, Language
Summary: Xander goes to LA on a fact finding trip and finds Angelus instead. Scariness happens.
Previous chapters: In my memories. I can't seem to get the link insert thing to work right. So just click on my user name and go to my memories. All the chapters are there together.
Notes: Okay so this chapter has Spander smut. This is my first try at writing smut. So bear with me. This doesn't strictly follow canon. Sooo if you don't like that sort of thing you might want to skip this. This is my first story so feedback is very welcome. Please send concrit by email.
Graphics (size, and artist) Icon by moscow_watcher
Darkness dissolved away into a strange foggy featureless limbo lit with a soft warm pearlescent light; the soldier, the hyena, and the demon were there. The fog drifted and eddied around them concealing and revealing; pooling around their feet making them look like wil o' wisps. For the first time ever he could see them face to face.
The hyena glided forward; every line of her body and posture screaming predator. Power rolled off her like the fog roiling about her form. She was an Egyptian statue come to life. Her blunt, short snouted, hyena head blended into an upright bipedal human form at the neck. She took Xander in her arms and rocked him folding him into her embrace like a child. He rested his face on her shoulder and slipped his arms about her and clung with all his strength. Her short speckled pelt was soft and silky under his hands. She smelled of Africa; dry desert winds and grasslands, sandalwood and an indescribable wildness. Branded over her heart was a circle. Both of them shuddered as they seemed to sink into one another.
The hyena's life force sank into his core. Her soul swept through him with the force of a hurricane and broke open all the locked doors in his mind. New pathways were forced open and energy flowed through them. His entire lifetime was teased apart; looked at and absorbed. Every action and motivation was laid bare, examined, and accepted without judgement.
Xander in turn comprehended her entire existence. Her first tentative awareness of self thousands of years ago. The experiences of a primal through all the centuries she was corporeal. The wild joy of giving up separateness to belong to an eternal pack. The gnawing hunger for touch and to be touched that was ended through their merging.
Self awareness returned and Xander found himself on his knees trembling and shuddering; gripped by the aftershocks of the raw power that ripped through him. The merge that began with his death was complete. He fell forward into darkness.
He dreamed hyena dreams.
The dream took him back to the foggy limbo. He had no idea how much time had passed. The connections in his mind were still aching but not open wounds. This time the soldier stepped forward. He was dressed in his cammies. He stood stiffly and held his gun in a white knuckled grip. His gaze was fixed forward and unwavering. The soldier unbuttoned his crisply starched shirt and pulled it open exposing a circle tattoed over his heart.
Xander examined the face of the man standing before him. "It's our turn, huh?"
The soldier nodded once stiffly.
"Do you want this?" Xander asked him quietly, gently.
His soldier answered; voice devoid of emotion as if he were reciting multiplication tables.
"I am Lieutenant Colonel Daniel Harding of the USMC. I was Spec Ops. Black Ops to be precise. I was betrayed by our government and left to face torture and death behind enemy lines. They knew me and my men were there and they left us. I was alone in a prison cell and periodically tortured for ten years. Long after all my men were dead. I too died from pneumonia of all things; in a filthy cell, alone. Yes, I want this. I've watched you fight all these years. I've listened to your thoughts and felt your emotions. You are worthy and I would be proud to serve with you."
Xander opened his arms and Daniel stiffly stepped forward. At first he was rigid but Xander hugged him tightly and gently stroked his back. Daniel's body gradually relaxed. His arms came up and he clutched Xander to him. He clung as though starved for the contact and was afraid Xander would disappear. Xander felt tears wet his collar bone and he whispered into Daniel's ear "Never alone again. We are here with you; the Hyena,me and the demon. We will never leave you behind."
Daniel's last bit of resistance faded away and he sank into Xander with a happy sigh. Xander/Hyena lived Daniel's short life like a fast forward movie. He saw, experienced and accepted the totality of the soldier's life. Daniel's mind was flooded with Xander/Hyena history. The merge was complete.
When darkness took Xander; he dreamed a soldier's life.
When he returned to the foggy limbo. This time he expected it. The demon was there. His ridged face looked confused and lost and terrified.
Xander held out his hand and gently spoke to the demon. "Come here." The demon leapt for him like a cat on a mouse; with a snickering growl. He grabbed Xander and brought him up to to eye level.
"Mine?" The demon desperately snarled in Xander's face.
"Yours." Xander confirmed.
Xander looked at his demon and raised his hands to explore the fierce face. He ran his hands curiously over ridges and surprisingly soft skin. The demon closed his lambent eyes in ecstasy; he pressed and rubbed into the petting hands like a cat while he purred. Xander laughed in delight and his demon started and looked indignant. The look on the fierce demon face was so comical Xander had to laugh again. He threw his arms around his demon's neck and rubbed his cheek against it's face.
This time it was Xander that had to accept and let the demon in. He sighed and exposed his throat and the demon darted forward and he felt the soft prickle of fangs on the skin of his throat; waiting. "Yes." he said. Xander let the love/need/want/surrender flow through him as he felt his demon's fangs sink in deep. The demon growled and moaned happily as he tasted Xander's total acceptance. It pulled Xander's head frantically to its' neck.
Xander growled " Mine." as he sank sharp hyena fangs into his demon's neck. He tasted the need in his demon. The want was sharp as was the desire to be wanted. The impulse to take balanced by the need to be taken. The drive to possess and keep offset by the the hunger to be owned and kept forever. The love of violence and a hedonistic enjoyment of touch didn't surprise him. The blood lust didn't pose a problem either.
The demon withdrew his fangs. "Yours," it acknowledged happily.
The demon shimmered and dissolved into him. Xander felt the demon slide into every particle of his being, into every cell. It rushed into his mind and fused with him until Xander couldn't discern the demon from himself. The demon was himself. He was the demon. The merge was complete.
This time when darkness took him he dreamed his own life and death. This time all the blinders that humanity wears and uses were gone and he clearly comprehended his past actions and motivations.
He watched himself grow from child to young adult and loved that desperately lonely young man. He felt compassion and pity for the unwanted, rejected and abused child. The kid who used humor to minimalize abuse and deal with his pain. The boy/man that was starved for affection and attention.
He understood why he accepted any kind of treatment from his friends rather than be alone and unwanted. He understood the stubbornness that made him cling closer even as his loved ones left him behind and ground his fractured self image to dust. He understood why he let their narrow perceptions force him into the mold of their limited expectations even though his very soul screamed in protest.
He had been human. And those are very human things. The fear of rejection, pain, loneliness and death are all part of living. Those fears are the common ordinary fears universally shared by every sentient living being from conception to final death/dissolution. Every single sentient being lives with those fears every day. There is no escaping them. The difference lays in the way the way the various beings deal with them.
He accepted and understood the lonely, wounded, imperfect, human child/boy/man. He enfolded him and drew him into himself. He soothed, petted and loved the humanness of himself. He accepted himself with no reservations, no limitation. Unconditionally. The child/boy/man expanded through him in a fission of joy. The joy sparkled through the pathways in his mind like pure unfiltered sunshine. Every dark corner and crevice was illuminated by that pure white light. The hungry glow sent tendrils into every part of his being and rested finally, melted into him, content and at peace.
A yawn and a sensuous stretch later he relaxed with sigh. He luxuriated in the softness of the sheets around him and wriggled with pure hedonistic pleasure. He felt at ease with his body in a way that he never had before. There was a sensation like a caress on his skin and he knew he was being watched. Another full body stretch and he opened his eyes to look around the room. His gaze fell on Spike, who leaned in the doorway; gazing at him with eyes full of speculation.
"Awake then are you?"
"Oh yeah, Sire... Really, really awake." He threw back the sheets and sat up to pile pillows behind his back; hard cock on display like a mating call. Reaching up he grasped the headboard, his muscles defined and pulled tight with the stretch. He looked at Spike through his lashes in silent challenge as he spread his thighs in a wanton invitation.
Spike growled a snickering growl low in his chest and pounced;eyes flashing to gold. The brat was daring him. Him. WIlliam the Bloody.
He straddled the naked boy, covering the hands on the headboard with his own, trapping them there. He swooped down and caught the boy's mouth in a hard ravaging kiss, thrusting against the boy's naked hardness with his own denim covered bulge.
Xander submitted with shuddering moan that was swallowed by Spike. Spike let his grip on the headboard go, to run his hands up the boy's sides. He scratched over sensitive nipples with his thumbnails, then he soothed them with the pads of his thumbs.
Xander's head fell back exposing his throat to Spike. He turned into a mass of flesh that twisted and shuddered; trying to get closer.
The boy babbled relentlessly. "Oh fuck yes, Spike. Sire, touch me, please. Want you. Need you. Claim me. Keep me. Oh please..Please..Please."
Spike changed to game face and interrupted the flood of words coming out of the boy's mouth with his own. Plunging his tongue into the willing wet cavern beyond those soft mobile lips again. He nipped and nibbled a line to the boy's ear.
He took advantage of the exposed neck laying sharp nibbling kisses from the boy's jaw to his collar bone. When Xander was reduced to nothing more than sounds. He stood up unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them past his hips and let them drop to the floor. He reached for the bedside table scrabbling for the lube he knew was there.
As he crawled back over the dazed boy, he popped open the lube and squeezed some onto the boy's belly. Swallowing the yelp at the touch of the chilly lube with his mouth again. He dipped his fingers in the slippery stuff coating them well and found the furled knot of muscle in the cleft of the boy's ass. He circled the anus with his fingers until it softened and accepted his finger.
Xander became nothing more than a skin over scorching need as heat gathered curling in his belly. He pushed down on the finger pumping in his ass and wanted to beg for more; he couldn't seem to get the words out. Spike seemed to understand though because he added two fingers and began scissoring them as he worked them in and out. Xander ass was in heaven. He worked his ass like a piston on those fingers. Then Spike found a spot inside him and pressed those long, strong fingers into it and rubbed. Pleasure spangled through Xander and fire ran down his backbone to gather in his groin. He screamed out his pleasure and bucked on the probing fingers seeking that feeling again.
Spike couldn't hold out any longer. The way the boy responded to him, to his every touch, was driving him mad. He watched the wanton way the boy fucked himself wildly on his fingers and it nearly made him come without even touching his cock. And the noises the boy made were going to drive him over the edge.
He withdrew his fingers from the boy's tight grasping ass and gathered some of the slick left on the boy's belly. He swiped some over the boy's cock and balls; applied the remainder to his own cock in a twisting motion, thrusting into his own fist.
He pushed the boy's thighs up and wide telling the boy
",hold em there." Spike grasped the length of his cock and brought the blunt head to the opening of the boy's body. Xander croaked out dazedly ",wait..wait..I wanna see."
Xander put his elbows behind his knees and pushed forward so he could see what Spike was doing. Spike rested the blunt head of his cock against the boy's loosened muscle and pushed slowly in. Xander and Spike watched together as the head of spike's cock was swallowed by Xander's body. The boy panted needlessly and shivered as he felt what he was seeing. He lifted his head and his pleasure glazed eyes were a yellow green when he captured Spike's hot yellow. ",That's so fucking hot," he gasped out. And lunged forward to claim a nasty wet kiss making sexy little sounds in the back of his throat. He broke free trembling and moaning to watch as Spike slowly pushed in until his balls met Xander's ass.
Xander felt the burning stretch as he watched the head of Spike's cock disappear into his body. He felt and watched every inch of that thick length as it slowly pushed it's way into his ass. When Spike's balls met his ass he released one of his knees. He snaked a hand down to feel the ring of muscle stretched tight around the thick base of Spike's cock. He reached further and massaged the balls hanging below.
Spike lurched forward causing Xander to clutch tighter. "Bloody fucking hell!"
The feelings finally overwhelmed Xander again and he fell back into the pillows.
Spike took both of Xander's legs and drew them over his shoulders. He placed a hand on each side of Xander and leaned in to feast on Xander's nipples as he began a slow slide out of Xander's tight ass. He withdrew to the tip of his cock and pushed back in with one long hard thrust.
Xander grabbed Spike's ass in both hands trying to pull him in deeper, and hollered ",yes, oh hell yes. Fuck me like that, Spike."
Spike began a steady driving rhythm of long deep strokes that shook Xander's body and made the bed creak. Every lunging thrust hit that spangly spot inside that made Xander writhe and yell in foreign languages. The sounds of lusty sex filled the room. The slushing of a slick cock driving into a wet hole. Flesh slapping on flesh. A creaking bed and a headboard thumping the wall. And over all; Xander's excited screams and the musky scent of male arousal.
The boy shimmied and shook as the rigid pole of Spike's cock speared into him again and again, hitting that spot that sent fire licking through him. He rocked up to meet the pistoning hips with all his might, stoking the fire higher. Spike was claiming him, owning him, with that hard flesh that plunged into his spasming ass. He felt his balls drawing up and knew he was close to the edge of the chasm. The pleasure was so intense it was almost unbearable.
He screamed Spike's name as he started over the edge cum spurting over his belly between their bodies. He heard Spike from far away as he roared ",Mine." He felt twin points of fire erupt in his neck as he felt Spike's seed fill him, pushing him into an orgasm so intense his senses left him.
Spike retracted his fangs and lapped at the the holes that were already closing. He shifted and the boy's grip tightened hanging on even in unconsciousness. Spike chuckled and let the boy's legs fall to each side of his rib cage. He relaxed onto the boy and wondered what the hell he was doing.
It had been a very long time since anyone had come on to him with that kind of honest desire. Just wanting him. Not what he could do for them. And that little display the boy had put on for him; reeking of lust and want and need. It had made him hard as a rock; had him raring and stamping like a stallion in heat. Made his demon break free and jump the boy, not that Xander was complaining any. He'd been screaming for more and urging Spike on to greater efforts; though not in any language Spike understood. Spike grinned remembering. His demon was doing cartwheels inside his head. It was exultant, smug, roaring about ",his boy," and ",finally got his pressie." Spike shook his head, the loopy bastard.