rngrdead (rngrdead) wrote in bloodclaim,

Stilled Desire # 5

Stilled Desire
Author: josie_h@yahoo.com
Archived at:
Pairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: Mature Audiences – for content and themes
Summary: Anya utters a final garbled set of words that sets off a wish that will alter Xander’s existence forever…
Spoilers: Canon is Post S7 BtVS and S5 AtS.
Warnings: M/M – if you don’t like boys together, don’t play here! *Toys* and angst too… and lovin’ eventually
Disclaimer: Don’t own the characters nor make any money from stories etc, and bow down to their original creators Joss, et al., plus all the wonderful online writers who continue to give the Buffy/Angel verse characters life.

Part 5

Willow was friendly but subdued at the airport. She had known of Spike’s return for some time (Andrew eventually spilling the beans post Black Thorn) but was still confused by the reason he had supplied a ticket for her to visit San Francisco at such short notice. The silence in the car was a rather nervous one, despite the witch’s age and power. Most overwhelming though, was the mutual feeling of desperation for a friend.

“So is he OK.” Was blurted out just as Spike said, “Need you t’ sort if he’s…” Resulting in Spike staring at the road ahead and Willow needlessly examining her nails with an habitual “Sorry” added for good measure. The reply “Nothin’ t’ be sorry about Luv”, was so automatic as to be silly, yet it did bring some sense of normality and both relaxed.

It was only later as Willow sat on the bed and pulled the mannequin’s head into her lap that she realized the magnitude of her task. Spike had thought to remove the gag but the somewhat bizarre permanent 'O' seemed worse, so he simply warned Willow. She had seen worse on the Net before and was actually pleased to note the very soft kid leather that formed a comfortable strap to secure said piece. What upset her more was the unblinking eyes. It certainly *looked* and *felt* like her old friend and the magic was unmistakably that of a vengeance demon, but not any normal one, D’Hoffran’s magical signature was unique, and here.

Willow looked down at the mannequin, then across to the closet and the large box of adult toys that had apparently ‘come with’ and shuddered. “Oh Goddess… it’s true isn’t it…” but did not lift the covers for fear of what she might see there too. “We had a memorial service for you, you know? Buffy, Dawn, me, and the coven and the slayers. Giles cried… he loved you so much Xan… but we didn’t know! You just sort of slipped away and then we had the police report and… *Oh Xan*!!” Willow gave in to her grief, tears splashing off the plastic form she cradled in her lap and dampening the bed covers a little.

And the mannequin cried a little more inside. This was why he was cursed… he always brought pain to those he loved… always caused problems. Much as he hated it, he wished for his closet, for the dark, or for the shop and the humiliation… he could not let himself hope for any more, he didn’t deserve any more.

Willow sat in silence, stroking the ‘real human hair’ and crying quietly until Spike sidled up, gently took her hand and tugged her from her position on the bed and into a heartfelt hug. “You an’ me both, Pet… you an’ me both. So let’s get you rested and we’ll figure sommit in the mornin’ yeah? C’mon Luv… your bed’s awaitin’.” He lifted her chin, wiped away yet another tear with a swipe of a pale thumb and kissed her on the forehead.

Willow had forgotten just how tender Spike could be, how thoughtful and yet how strong in adversity. She gazed at the mannequin again for a few seconds then let the souled vampire lead her to the ‘guest room’ (the lounge suite converted to a temporary bed). She wanted to worry about the whole situation, especially D’Hoffran but gave in to travel fatigue and slept.

Xander woke to vibrations stimulating his prostate again and rolled toward the protagonist holding the remote control, then realised… It was Sunday. The vibrations stopped.

“Afternoon Pet… Figured this was your day out, next time a bit less cryptic for the vampire, yeah? Had ta figure all sorts to get you the right help. Now let’s get you untied.” With that, Xander’s gag was removed, cuffs, cock and ball restraint and plug taken away. They made love quietly, tenderly, passionately, Xander welcoming the ability to participate again. Both sated they snoozed for a time, before the human barely had time to register he was being lifted from the bed when he was deposited in the shower.

Spike sat him gently on the floor of the small cubicle, measured the temperature of the water coming from the flexible hose then proceeded to carefully wash him, massaging now pliable human flesh and muscle, and shampooing his very real, very thick head of hair. He held his head low as he was kindly cleaned, ashamed that there was no need to shave, he knew that his dummy parts were entirely ‘hair free’ – apparently the ‘Brazilian back, crack and sack’ was all the rage in mannequin-land.

“C’mon Pet, take a few sips… sure you could do with it yeah?”

Xander looked up and accepted the plastic cup filled with warm water. He took it and drank, belatedly realising that he was indeed thirsty and secondly that Spike had ‘spiked’ his drink, the few drops of vampire blood affording a ‘zing’ he had not felt before. He looked up in surprise then cleared a throat that had not moved for a week.

“Umm… Thanks… I… Oh Spike!”

Spike caught him and hauled him up to stand as the shower was turned off, “Cryin’s for later Pet… Reckon we’ll all have to do a bit of that… Let’s us just get dry for now… Yeah?”

And so it was, twenty minutes later, towelled dry and moisturized, combed, pampered and dressed in comfortable track pants and a soft sweater (and after a strange panic and consequent begging, had his usual plug and leather restraint reapplied), Xander made it to the lounge on wobbly, unused legs. He sat on the end of Willow’s bed as Spike roused her.

The reaction could hardly have been more dramatic. Willow launching her still half asleep self into the arms of her long time friend, her live long time friend and repeated over and over “You’re alive… oh thank the Goddess you’re alive!!” Then kissed him, hugged him, then did it all over again, and again… and again.

Finally Spike simply *had* to intervene, “C’mon Red, boy here’s on a schedule. Only got an hour or two afore he’s back to toyland. Best get that pretty noggin of yours working, yeah?”

Willow sobered and sat back – with one more hug for her life long friend. What followed was a rather desperate description of his life since they had parted after his European visit. His return to America, his loneliness, moving to San Francisco, the fateful decision, the waking in the store as… that, his purchase and the ‘rightness’ of being used, then the agony of being tenderly treated and loved… and now?!”

She stared at him hard then asked, “Dates, times… Xan, I’m sorry to say but I know *for a fact* it was D’Hoffran. Anya was his favourite… only he would think of the ‘real boy for a day’ thing!! Anya must have been the one to curse you before she died!?!”

Xander hung his head and studied his now animate hands, “No Wills… I really don’t think so – pick any one of the other demons I’ve… well you know…” He looked up, tears spilling from one chocolate eye, its matching counterpart sadly askew, he continued, “Anya and I had sex on that last night… We… we kind of made up… no… we really did… and um… If it was her I just don’t think she would have… and… maybe… Oh Ghod Wills I just want this finished! Not that Spike hasn’t… Spike’s been… Oh Wills!” Xander gazed over to the vampire and saw a devastated look.

The vampire who had cared for him, loved him, flown a witch half way around the world for him, a vampire who wanted him whole again… a vampire who he had been as one with, and only now knew, in his heart, a vampire he truly loved. “I’ve come to love him Wills. He has been kind and we’ve… and I know it might be part of this… but you know the ‘gay me up’… and I did experiment a little but… He deserves more than this… this… me!”

Spike was looking visibly upset at the statement and stood ready to protest but was cut off as Xander pushed away from his position, seated, leaning against Willow, and with legs still getting used to standing and walking again, all but fell into the vampire’s welcoming arms then as apology simply said, “Don’t want to leave you… would do this forever if it’s just you, but I can’t! Please… you know I can’t!”

Spike simply looked sad, “Luv if we can’t fix it, really can’t, then I’ll bloody well drain you while we’re shaggin’ on a Sunday, OK? Not happy ‘bout doin’ the deed but just for you. Your call Pet.”

The ensuing passionate kiss left Willow feeling like she was invisible again, but when Xander ‘came up for air’ and smiled so very sadly at her, she knew that she *had* to fix things. But the mood changed suddenly as Xander arched out of Spike’s arms and yelled “Not yet, Ohh!!” then stiffened, literally, and Willow experienced and shared Spike’s horror of watching a friend shift to his latex form for another week…

Spike silently lifted the now stiff form and carried it to their bed, stripped it of the soft clothes and rubbed pleasant tasting vanilla onto the small phallic shaped gag and gently pushed it into his friend’s perpetual ‘O’. After fixing it carefully, he dialled up the vibrating plug a little and stoked the rebound erect member until he *knew* Xander was on the edge of bliss. It was all he could do. Covering his friend with the duvet, he checked the electric blanket controls and let a blood tinged tear fall.

He felt her and turned to see a very upset Willow was standing at the door, her eyes shifting to black and the air beginning to prickle…

“In the name of Mother Gaia, I High Priestess of the Coven of the Lady summon thee D’Hoffran. And you *will* come forward to answer my call.”


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