Title: The More Things Change
Feedback: Comments and email
Concrit: by email please or in my journal..
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss and a bunch of lawyers. I only wish they belonged to me cause I'd make em do naughty things together forever. I'm just playing with them. No disrespect intended. No reflection on real persons or places intended. I'm not making any profit from this. This is strictly for entertainment.
Warnings/Squicks: References to child abuse and childe abuse. Language. Nothing too bad this chapter.
Summary: Xander goes to LA on a fact finding trip and finds Angelus instead. Scariness happens.
Previous chapters: In my memories. I can't seem to get the link insert thing to work right. So just click on my user name and go to my memories. All the chapters are there together. The link is in the top upper left corner of my journal.
Notes: Xander's Spike dreams, and then after the ritual. Weaving a little ATS and BTVS canon into the story from the past. This doesn't strictly follow canon. Canon is in there but I've woven events differently for Buffy 7 and Angel 5. Sooo if you don't like that sort of thing you might want to skip this. This is my first story so feedback is very welcome. Please send concrit by email.
Graphics: (size, and artist) Icon by:alterian
The beautiful banner for the story with the boyz, under the cut with the current chapter, was a present from: sevendeadlyfun
Thank you. You sweetie you.
This time he dreamed Spike dreams. One hundred and humpty odd years of life and unlife. It was almost like the visions, but this time he felt what Spike felt as each scene played out. The dream sped through certain parts and lingered in others. No one could ever again tell him that vampires couldn't feel love, or the whole array of human emotions, even without a soul. The dream lingered over the scenario around William when he was turned and the events after; when he tried to turn his mother, and had to dust her.
Then it ran at normal speed through the first years of his unlife and the hell Darla and Angelus made his unlife into, because he was too human for them. The care and love he had given to poor mad Dru. Then it sped through the years in which he created the hard shelled persona of Spike, to protect his inner softer core; under the harsh tutelage of Angelus and Darla.
Xander lived through Spike in his dreams. He felt helpless, hopeless devotion he transferred from his human family to his new vampiric one; without it ever being returned. The lengths he went to in order to win their approval, never quite able to win complete acceptance; the acceptance he did win at such great price was conditional. He made his bloody reputation with the infamous railroad spikes, from which he took his name.
Then Angelus was cursed by Gypsies and abandoned Darla, Penn, Dru and Spike. Darla and Penn left shortly thereafter. The abandonment by his vampiric family nearly crushed Spike. But he rose to the challenge and managed to keep Dru and himself safe as he took on responsibilities that very few fledges his age could have survived. The order of things was reversed and instead of the Sire caring for the fledge, the fledge cared for his Sire. But she was all he had for many years and he was content if not completely happy.
Then Darla met up with them again and he killed his first Slayer in China. Xander felt the fierce pride of the still young fledge, Spike, who had done something even Angelus had never accomplished. Xander felt it as Spike thought that; finally, finally he had done something big enough, good enough, to earn him his place in their little family without question. Something that would earn their love once and for all.
But he was disappointed once again. Angelus was now an ensouled Angel. He felt Spike's confusion and anger at the rejection by Angelus who wouldn't even eat humans anymore. Who wouldn't give his approval of killing a Slayer. And once again Angelus stole his moment and took center stage with the drama that unfolded with Darla.
Then Angelus was gone leaving Spike alone again with no company but his mad, wicked plum, Dru. Darla disappeared again leaving them to drift anchorless in the world.
The dream sped through the years of crazy tea parties with nearly dead young girls in crinolines sitting about numerous tables. Dru dancing under the stars and talking to her Miss Edith; Parties, and rivers of blood, sex and killing, anywhere and everywhere they went. Museums and Operas, and Plays. Through WWI and beyond.
Then in WWII the SS caught Spike in Madrid, and a few other European Masters elsewhere, they knew what they were and decided to experiment on them. They shoved them into crates and put them on a submarine to transport them to the camps. Some American boys managed to capture the sub. Spike broke out of his crate on the sub and freed the other two captive demons and they ate most of the crew. The remainder of the crew sent out a distress call.
Angel was sent down to board the sub, to deal with the vamps, and to help salvage the sub, at the insistence of the US government. The sub was damaged badly and the crew was as good as dead. The lone Natzi left alive stabbed the boy, Sam Lawson, in the gut and he was dying. Without him they couldn't repair the sub. Angel turned the boy so he could finish the repairs. When the sub was repaired, Angel kicked Spike and Lawson off the sub twenty miles from land without a single regret, after Spike found and destroyed all the records about demons. He took the time, before they climbed the ladder to the outside hatch, to threaten to dust his newest childe if he ever saw him again.
Abandoned again. Spike and the only childe made by Angel swam the twenty miles and found the coast. Spike hunted a place for them to lair temporarily and fed on some drunken dock workers. When he went back for the fledge he was gone and he never saw him again.
The dream sped through Spike finding Dru again and her vague mad happiness at seeing him again for a while, but she always asked for "Daddy." Spike was content again while he was with Dru. They traveled and fed had various bloody adventures. He fought and killed his second Slayer in New York. Then Dru's sickness started while they were in in Prague. Spike was afraid, very afraid he would lose her, his only connection in this world. He would do anything to keep his dark princess with him. She needed him, and as long as she needed him, she would stay with him. No one could take care of her like he could.
Then they made the trip to Sunnydale, to get the blood of her Sire. Spike's feelings were so conflicted about his Grandsire. Dru had drained him and fed him her blood, but she was incapable of rearing a fledge properly, so Angelus stepped up to take on the responsibility. And even if there hadn't been any filial feelings of attachment on the part of Angelus, Spike more than made up for it with his own.
They performed the ritual, Spike was injured..The dream skimmed through everything else. Teacher parent night. The Halloween of the soldier. Angel losing his soul. The Judge. The bargain with Buffy...Acathla..Dru's rejection, and his return to Sunnydale. The Gem of Amarra, then his capture by the Initiative. His escape from that hellhole..As the dream neared the present it sped faster and faster like a movie on fast forward. The feelings and thoughts were all there ,but they were more condensed.
Finally the dream reached the night Spike found him on the side of the road. He felt the shock and anger at Angelus. He felt the love that Spike had for him, like a living flame run through him. The pride that Spike took in him and his actions. His unconditional acceptance of everything; and the desire to connect and show Xander the joys of the life in the night. Spike wanted to take him everywhere and give him the world. And that was quite alright with Xander.
Xander's last thought, as the last dream images faded away, was that he was happier since his death than he had ever been while living. He finally came to terms with what had happened in LA and accepted it. He wasn't going to live in the past, and wallow in guilt and self pity. There was too much future ahead of him for that useless past time.
He stretched and and let out an impatient huff. He was tired of sleeping. He was alone in the big bed. He pouted and listened for his mate and heard Spike stirring around in the living room. He scrambled out of the bed and almost ran out of the room. He was nearly vibrating out of his skin with energy. He could feel Spike's amused affection as that information leaked to him through the bond.
Xander couldn't help it, he had slept so much since LA that he didn't think he'd need sleep again for another fifty years at least. He wanted out of this apartment. He wanted to go hunting with his mate, and he wanted it yesterday.
He barrelled out of the bedroom and pounced on Spike, who was rearranging the living room furniture, after the ritual. He groped any body part that offered itself for Xander gropage. Anything he could get his hands on really, which was quite a lot, since Spike didn't seem to mind a vampXander turned octopus. The bond throbbed with mutual lust. Spike was doing pretty well at the groping thing as well, since Xander was still naked as the day he was born..err turned. Xander kissed him hungrily and broke away to complain "You already took a shower."
Spike smirked. "Yep, I did. Knew you were gonna want to go out, n' if we get in the same shower together we'll still be here come tomorrow night."
"I finally feel like I'm all one piece, instead of scattered parts and pieces. I was looking forward to wet soapy monkey sex in the shower." He puppy eyed Spike.
"'Oi, turn down the eyes pet." With another grope of Xander's ass. Spike smacked him, which resulted in another good type wiggle and a thrust of the body plastered to him.
"Oooo..that doesn't help at all, Spike. Or it does. Help. That is. But not the way you hoped it would. Wait. Maybe you hoped it would help the other way too." Xander babbled. "What with all the gropage and kissage before hand. And that just felt sooo good." Then Xander lost his train of thought.
Spike laughed at him, and swatted him on the ass again. "Go get a shower and get dressed and I'll take you out."
Xander let go of his octopus persona reluctantly, and then nearly bounced with excitement. "Hunting, are we going hunting?"
"Thought we might."
"Oh yeah, with the hunting, then with gropage and kissage and hot shower sex later, or maybe a some cemetery sex, or alley sex, or in the woods sex." Xander pronounced with unconcealed anticipation. Then he changed directions so fast Spike looked slightly confused. "Can we cremate the maybe evil undead stuff in the garbage bag, the stuff we killed the other night?"
"We'll see. Shower. Clothes. Now. Xander, I only have so much self control. I'm a hair away from throwing you down and just fucking you until you beg for mercy." Xander rubbed and groped the whole time Spike talked. Spike's pants had an interesting bulge in front that Xander's hand snaked down to pet. He cupped the bulge with his hand through the denim of Spike's jeans and massaged it firmly for a second; delighted with Spike's growl and the way his eyes bled gold. Spike wrapped arms around him and kissed him hard and thrust enthusiastically into Xander's palm.
Then Xander eeled out of his grasp, panting, stepped away and all but ran for the shower. His own hard cock bobbed and waved as he walked. A wicked laugh trailed behind him and he felt Spike's hot stare on his twitching ass as he disappered through the bedroom door.
Spike growled after him. "Tease. Your ass is mine, boy. For that, I'm gonna make you scream and beg later."
Xander purred out as stepped into the shower. "Always Spike, and don't I know it. I wouldn't have it any other way."
Spike growled again and seriously considered following that twitching ass into the shower and just fucking the boy through the wall. Then he shook his head, sighed, and turned back to the couch he had been pushing back into place when Xander octopussed him. Spike grinned, the boy had at least eight arms and it felt like twice as many hands. It was a lovely feeling to be actively desired for once.
Spike had stirred awake some unguessable amount of time after the ritual, still in the circle beside a deeply asleep Xander. Giles looked a little shellshocked and had a bit of that "Ripper" look about him. Spike sniffed the air and suppressed a grin at the scent of arousal, but didn't say anything. Maybe later. Giles had helped them out, more than spike had expected really. Giles quickly packed up all his magic stuff and his books. Then he dressed and left quickly, with a reminder for Spike to check with him about the time of Willow's arrival from LA. Or to call him if any complications sprang up.
Spike carried Xander into the bedroom and tucked him in the bed. He put away all the Xander's new clothes, and discovered why there seemed to be more, than what he knew they had purchased. The sneaky brat had talked to the sales person at some point in their "shopping adventure." He had the sales person take the things he wanted for Spike off the rack, and add it to the stuff he got.
So Spike was now the proud owner of new clothes as well. He had even gotten Spike a new pair of steel toed Docs, as close to the old ones in appearance as was possible. His boy was looking out for him, and caring about him. Taking care of him. Nobody had EVER done that for him, except Xander.
He felt that thought melt his insides into a disgusting sticky, gooey vampire puddle, and snorted. William the Bloody, now to be called William the Puddle. But he couldn't shake off the icky gooey, and finally looked for something else to distract himself from his mournful preoccupation with his 'puddledness;' And the knowledge that he'd just as well get used to it. A precognition which didn't help him feel better about it at all.
Spike had dreams as well. When the bonding was complete and the darkness swept over his awareness. But Xander's short life was absorbed more quickly than Spike's. Spike experienced first hand everything that ever happened to Xander. He was amazed the boy was sane, and such a white hat, though his self image was as bad as it could get. Spike would see to it that his mate didn't ever feel that way again. He would always know he was cared for, special, smart, worthy of love and attention. Soul or not, Spike would be seeing to the soul having human who masked a monster; Xander's father. Not all the monsters on the Hellmouth were demons.
Bloody hell, Angelus could be bad, a really evil wanker, but he was a vampire. Vampires and demons came in all degrees of evilness, or even goodness depending. It made sense to expect a certain amount of violence from them, even to family members. But a human? A card carrying member of the 'human members only' bloody soul having club? And with his own child. That was just beyond wrong; it was an evil that even William the Bloody couldn't find words for.
His soul didn't twinge once at the violent pictures he painted in his mind; Just what he would do to the twat that had touched what belonged to him. It seemed when it came to Xander his soul was happy to go along for the ride. Spike could understand THAT kind of devotion. Hell he was a vampire to whom obsession was just his normal modus operandi. But William? He'd been a poncy, victorian, momma's boy. If his morality ridden soul didn't have a problem with him practicing his famous wetwork on the the bleedin' poser, he KNEW Xander's dad was very bad news for a human.
Xander happily washed himself and danced into the bedroom still drying his shaggy mane. This time he gleefully pulled out drawers and got out black jeans and a black T. He pulled the clothes on over his still damp body, wriggling a little to get the jeans up. He snatched up a pair of socks, sat down on the bed, and put on his lace up Docs.
Then he marched out of the bedroom raring to go.
He grabbed Spike and kissed him soundly, with an evil smirk. "I'm ready, let's go paint this town red, metaphorically speaking that is, or maybe not, depending on what trouble we can find, or finds us. 'Cause, vampires here, we're really the trouble now, ya know."
Spike raised one brow at his mate's predatory anticipation and snickered. He grabbed his duster. Xander grabbed his own. And they shrugged into them as they left the apartment. Both of them looking forward to finding a bloody good ruckus of some sort tonight.