rngrdead (rngrdead) wrote in bloodclaim,
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Stilled Desire # 11

Stilled Desire
Author: josie_h@yahoo.com
Archived at:
http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=rngrdead
Pairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: Mature Audiences – for content and themes
Summary: Anya utters a final garbled set of words that sets off a wish that will alter Xander’s existence forever…
Spoilers: Canon is Post S7 BtVS and S5 AtS.
Warnings: M/M – if you don’t like boys together, don’t play here! *Toys* and angst too… and lovin’ eventually
Disclaimer: Don’t own the characters nor make any money from stories etc, and bow down to their original creators Joss, et al., plus all the wonderful online writers who continue to give the Buffy/Angel verse characters life.




Part 11

There was nothing to say as they both took their normal forms.

Spike lovingly picked up his dear Consort and bathed him gently, seating him between his own open legs in the huge spa bath and gently washing his dear friend amidst the warm bubbles. What thrilled him was the hand that reached behind to take his own interest gently pressed it in the right direction, a Consort’s behind impaling itself voluntarily on a very enthusiastic Master Vampire.

Xander rode his Master until on the brink of release then found himself lifted off, frustrated, swiftly dried and carried to the bed only to be placed on a fluffy white towel on his back and Spike straddling and sinking down onto his Consort’s erection, at the same time pushing home Xander’s favourite vibrator. Both groaned as ‘that spot’ was struck… Spike rode his Consort to completion, and found his own as he bit down on his dear one’s neck and whispered “If I fill you now will you let me do the change?”

A sated Xander simply said… “Now… Please stay there and … Now.”

Spike relaxed onto his lover’s chest, forewent the butt plug in favour of speed and invoked the spell. Seconds before it’s hold the two kissed and intertwined tongues.

The next twenty four hours were spent (if anyone had looked) with Spike’s polycarbonate form impaled on his dear one’s plastic member and lips *literally* fused together courtesy of their passion as the change occurred. Were they to be a true shop piece, their combined form would have fallen into the ‘extreme kink’ area.

They lay together for a whole earth day then three hours more in their natural forms… the languid pleasuring something that they both cherished, sometimes even above and beyond lovemaking.

The stranger part now, however, was that they had taken to using the closet for their change (albeit now with mattress and warm covers) occasionally. Spike trying to come to terms with what it must have been like for his dear partner in the first months of his existence in Spike’s presence.

They cried and held each other tight after the first time, Xander with relief and Spike with the shock of understanding his Consort’s torment.


Giles’ visit was a challenge, for both of them. The retired watcher hugging Xander so tight as he exited the customs ramp at the airport that most other patrons grumbled about ‘families!’ and simply pushed past.

The drive home was typically awkward, filled with ‘proper conversation’ and a good deal of uncomfortable silence, or alternatively too much minutia regards Watchers and covens… and anything else.

But finally, ensconced in Spike and Xander’s private apartment and free of the minions that seemed ever present (though Spike would argue fewer than any of the other Bay Masters he ruled over) they all relaxed a little.

Bags were deposited in the only bedroom. Giles like Willow would be sleeping in the lounge-come ‘guest room’ later in the evening, for now he was ushered to the kitchen and stood by the fridge to accept a large glass of very good Glenfiddich on ice. Spike had the same in his hand while Xander grabbed a beer and the leaned against the bench, their legs noticeably touching.

It was Spike who began the conversation. “So, Red told you the goin’s on I imagine? Bay Master, Consort, that sort of thing?”

“Yes, Yes quite… I um…” Giles took another sip from his drink then put it down in favour of taking off his glasses, tugging a handkerchief from the back pocket of his jeans and began to polish them rather enthusiastically. It was such an old, familiar ‘Giles thing’ to do that Xander took an unnecessarily long swig of his beer in favour of a silly grin. “We were all distressed by his disappearance of course – but the serendipitous nature of you finding each other is *most* extraordinary… most extraordinary… If that hadn’t happened…” The older man trailed off in favour of picking up his glass again and staring at the floor.

“Boy wouldn’t have had a handsome bugger like me on ‘is arm, nor the run of the town – and I would’ve been one Consort and lover short. Now, no point worryin’ ‘bout the whys and wherefores… reckon the lad here an’ you need to do some catch up…”

With that Spike downed the rest of his drink, kissed his Consort passionately before whispering “Just goin’ out for an hour or so Pet… things to do.” Xander knew there was no urgent matters to attend to at the moment and squeezed his partner’s hand lovingly before Spike moved to the door of the apartment, grabbed his duster and swept out into the night.

Giles did not fail to note the adoration exchanged nor realize that the act was… exactly that, in order that he and Xander might have some time alone. As always, Spike never ceased to amaze.

As the vampire departed, Xander ushered his old mentor into the lounge room and moved to turn on some quiet background music, selecting a compilation of sixties and seventies ‘soul’, then joining Giles on the couch.

They chatted about the Coven of the Lady, and Willow, and the new Watcher’s Council and Buffy, Dawn and Andrew (who was still inclined to make odd pop culture references in meetings despite his new position as the ‘Head of Southern Europe”, and insisted on wearing tweed!)

They talked of Giles taking over his family’s country home in Berkshire and the consequent renovations and of his renewed interest in riding and ‘tramping’.

But then there was another rather awkward pause, and both taking a swig of their respective drinks.

“But what of you Xander?”

Then the two began together…

“I hope you are..”

“After Anya, I just …”

Giles quickly intonated, “Sorry… Go ahead.”

“No s’fine, I’m sorry… For a lot of things… and I *deserved* everything I got… everything!”

The ex watcher could not help but interject, “*No*… most emphatically *No*. Look what you did after that most traumatic event at the Hellmouth. Consider your actions. What followed was not your…” He was cut off by a touch to his knee and a quiet.

“She did it from love Giles… not from hate. And yes I did deserve it. Please. *Please* listen… My life was without compass, my reason for good works almost selfish, satisfying some inner need, just like when I helped Buffy… and unless I had had all that time to reflect, with virtually no hope of reprieve… It was a gift she gave, Giles, but I really don’t think she meant it to turn out like… well you know… I figure Willow…”

Giles could see the young man becoming more and more upset as he spoke, so reassured the former Scoobie, “Yes, yes… well and I can’t imagine what you went through… *are* going through since the… well the change. But my dear fellow… are you… happy with Spike, I mean, are you treated well, content? And don’t get me wrong – if I might have chosen a more devoted individual, I would have struggled. The council records show his steadfast commitment to those he loves… but do you…?”

“Love him back? Oh… you have *no* idea… We are two parts of one whole… Giles… We *share* a soul.”

The aging human pulled back in rather horrified amazement, “But how?? Why??”

"Willow, D’Hoffran… He paid for my freedom with his… and Willow fixed it so now we *share* mine. But it’s OK… Giles, I *love* him… I *feel* him… and, Giles… *he chose* to share the curse… he was prepared to share the curse… with me just so I could…”

“Walk amongst us once more… I… I did talk briefly to Willow prior to departure… but I must say, I still did not comprehend quite the… No matter – you need not share in an old man’s insecurities. I just… the change?”

Xander then began to explain the effects of the change, the strange consciousness and numbed ability to feel, the wonder of Spike loving him, rescuing him from his fate via Willow and the reasons and consequences of their subsequent attempt to control the change.

At one point Xander stood and moved toward the kitchen, still continuing his story, grabbed a beer for himself and refilled Giles’ scotch and was just about to admit his need for his bindings… their need, when the door slammed open and a blonde vampire in game-face literally fell into the room.

“Bloody bitch!”

Both Xander and Giles looked on with stunned fascination as Spike pulled a stake from the right hand side of his neck before Xander flew to Spike’s side, catching his partner on the way down and offering his neck.

Giles saw that, despite the pain, Spike still took the time to lick the Consort’s claim mark before gently letting his fangs pierce his beloved’s skin to take two long, very welcome drafts.

Xander then helped the now human faced vampire up and, ignoring their guest for a time, led him to the bathroom to treat the obviously deep, nasty wound.

By the time Giles stood at the doorway Xander had Spike’s trademark boots and duster off and was tending a wound that even the Watcher could see, had hit a major blood vessel, but what didn’t make sense over the next few seconds was that the flow of blood increased rather than stemmed as would be expected with vampire healing.

Xander felt his partner’s distress and pressed a towel hard against the wound trying to stop the bleeding.

“Can you tell me what…?”

Spike managed to whisper, “Assassin, maybe slayer… just comin’ home, never felt… Oh Xan!”

Giles picked up, what he belatedly realised, was a *bone* stake and smelt it… there was a foul acid and apple type smell that he recognised at once, “Piliothorn, demon arsenic, specifically designed for vampires and deadly within minutes if not treated.”

Xander was desperate, and Spike whimpering as the poison coursed through his system, unhealed scratches and cuts beginning to bleed, and bruises augmenting. At Giles’ statement Xander looked up and simply stated, “Is there a cure?”

“Yes but it will take me some time to gather the ingredients… I … um… I would need at least twenty four hours to brew the antidote!”

Xander simply said, “Done”, flung him the address of Xu Li Wa’s herbalist shop and his own friend Santiago’s Magic Shop then, no idea if the strategy would work, lay down with his barely conscious partner, pulled him in tight, and invoked the spell.

Giles watched in horrified fascination as the two forms changed, the bleeding ceased, and the room became… silent.

He felt compelled to throw a blanket over the two, then found the telephone and made several orders ‘to deliver’.

Within hours the rather rank smell of several antidote ingredients brewing permeated the apartment, and Giles had the sinking feeling that… there was still no guarantee.
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