nervousAuthor: Thea Zara aka 50ftqueenie
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Warnings/Squicks: The plot is driven by child abuse (both sexual and physical), non-con, slash, violence, and the author making horribly cliche use of multiple personality disorder caused by the first two. There is however plot and H/C. The non con/child abuse is part of that and NOT part of the slash relationship itself.
Summary: Xander has a trigger, and with an unexpected death, the First now has a means to use it. Set just after Angelus has been re-souled in Season 4 of Angel, and just prior to the Buffy episode 'Dirty Girls'.
Author's note: This is obviously going to go AU right off the bat, and in this AU, Spike's trigger is broken enough that the First can no longer make him kill, but it can still cause blackouts.
The room wasn't totally dark. Just a bit of the streetlights filtered in even through the heavy curtains. Alex stood lost and alone in the doorway.
'Why had Daddy brought him here? What was this strange place, and who was the pretty man sleeping over there?'
"Get a move on you worthless piece of crap! Just do what you're fucking told, and maybe I won't have to punish you again."
"Yes, Daddy." Alex whispered. He knew better than to talk too loud, Daddy didn't like it. Someone might overhear. He'd do almost anything to keep Daddy from punishing him again, so he went where Daddy said and got the stuff he wanted.
"You gotta be careful, boy. Take his hands and put 'em in the cuffs and hook him up to that headboard, but don't you fuckin' wake him up, or I'll put you in 'em instead, then let him have a go at you."
That threat got Alex moving quickly and carefully. The pretty man was way bigger than him, and he knew it would hurt lots and lots. He slipped the cool hands up towards the top of the bed and very carefully cuffed one hand to each side of the headboard.
"That's it, boy. Now it don't matter if he wakes up, so just stuff that gag in his mouth and make sure it ain't coming out. You don't wanna fuck this up, boy. Am I clear?"
"Yes, Sir! I won't mess it up." Alex said quickly, his brown eyes wide with fear. He positioned himself beside the sleeping man and tried to think of a way to get his mouth open. He tried holding his nose, then tickling him, but nothing worked. That nose thing kinda scared him, cause the guy must be able to hold his breath a really, really long time. Finally he just got into position and then grabbed one arm and pinched HARD. The very second the pretty man's mouth was open wide enough he shoved the gag in and quickly finished attaching it.
"That was good, boy. Now take off his clothes, and make sure you don't let the filthy thing kick my good boy."
Alex blushed deep red and jumped off the bed to do what Daddy wanted done. The pretty man 'filthy thing - Daddy said it was a filthy thing' - wasn't wearing a shirt. Carefully he began undoing the pretty man's belt. Just as he started on the buttons, he looked up at the pretty man 'filthy thing' and jumped back when yellow feral eyes looked back. He jumped back, and fell to the floor with a thump, his hip and butt smarting on his right side.
"Christ, can't you do anything right you dumb fucking loser? Did the filthy thing scare you like you're some kind of fucking sissy? Get back up and do what you were told, you stupid little fuck."
More terrified of making Daddy mad than the yellow eyes that were STARING at him, he jumped back to his feet and started on the zipper he'd jumped away from earlier. The pretty man didn't struggle at all, and that made Alex mad for him. He knew all about not struggling, and how it made things not hurt as much on the outside, but made his heart and head feel like they were on fire for days, sometimes weeks. His mind whirling with unwanted memories, while his body did what it always did. It listened to Daddy, and followed his orders. Quickly the pretty man 'filthy thing' was undressed.
"Get undressed, boy, then get up in that bed." Alex stifled a whimper and did what he was told. His clothes were dropped on the floor and he carefully climbed into the bed, huddling up along the wall as far away from the pretty man 'filthy thing' as he could get. "That ain't what I meant you little fuck-up! Get that sweet ass of yours between his legs."
"Please, Daddy, don't make me, it's gonna hurt. Please!" Alex fought to control his tears, but the idea of the pretty man 'filthy thing' hurting him like Daddy hurt him... the idea that Daddy was making the pretty man hurt him it was just too much and the tears slipped out.
"Don't be such a whiny little puss bag, boy. It's not gonna hurt you. You're gettin' a treat here, even though we both know a nasty little whore like you doesn't deserve it. You're gonna lift those girly legs of his and put your pathetic little dick in that ass and fuck him like a bitch. You're finally gonna show Daddy how right he was about you being a fairy. Now get your pathetic ass over here and fuck him for Daddy."
Alex was shaking all over. Daddy couldn't want him to hurt the pretty man 'filthy thing' like that. He couldn't... he wouldn't. He looked into the yellow eyes that were watching him, and then moved across the bed until he was almost laying over top of the pretty man 'filthy thing'. Daddy was leering at him, and suddenly Alex knew what he had to do. He couldn't protect himself, but he could help someone else. Resolve face to the fore he faced his father and said the one word he'd always dreamed of saying. "NO!"
Should I keep going? Also this doesn't have a beta reader, so feel free to point out anything I've missed.