Disclaimer: I do not own any of the
characters in this story and make no
money off them.
Summary: AU. Xander is a young man
living in an Amish community when he
finds himself confronted by the evil of a
STRONG WARNING: although done in a respectful
manner, this story deals with religious issues. If you
find that offensive DO NOT READ.
Xander ran till his breath came in ragged gasps
and his legs threatened to turn to rubber.
His body wanted to stop and rest, but his heart
and mind drove him on.
Through the tall weeds and easily leaping over fallen trees,
he drove himself on.
There was a faint reminder of a worn path to follow, but it
He hadn't been to the caves for years. It was one
of the things of his childhood that was tucked away
when he became a man.
Just as his wagon and his beloved sock monkey
were put away in the attic in hopes that someday he would
have children to give them to, his memories were
also waiting to be shared.
Yet no matter how many years had gone past
he still knew the way as though it were only
yesterday that he and Willow hid there to avoid
washing the dishes or shucking the corn for canning.
It was where they hid their treasures. Her's a
special pink smooth stone he had found for her
and his was a four leaf clover.
Good luck charms were forbidden, but he loved the
look of it so he kept it anyway. It was different. A creation
of God yet rare and special. He kept it long after
it had wilted and become unrecognizable.
Now the cave held a new treasure. Something more
special than any rock or weed on earth. It held his
He had no doubt Willow was right.
If she had said the demon was on the moon he would
have trusted her and started to build a ladder.
Crashing through the last of the underbrush he found
the opening. Long neglected and overgrown, it now
had the trampled down proof that someone had recently
crawled through it.
Panting and trying to keep his lungs from bursting, Xander
dropped down to peer in.
No more than five feet high, Xander remembered when
he could walk in upright, now however, he had to crawl
in on his hands and knees.
Despite the fact that the day was glorious, bright and sunny,
the woods themselves were dense and dark.
The trees were tall and clustered together tightly
blocking out the rays of the sun making it hard to see.
The cave was deep, damp and dark as night.
The rich smell of the earth floor filled his nose flooding him
with memories of a time simple and uncomplicated.
Working his way toward the back he could already feel
the presence of the demon. He was drawn to it like a magnet.
Reaching out with his hand he felt his way along the
cold slimy moss covered rock walls till his fingers brushed
the familiar feel of worn leather.
Relief washed over him as he scooted over and began
running his hands up and down the sleeping figure to
assure himself of the demon's condition.
Spike was aware of Xander as soon as he approached
the mouth of the cave.
He knew there was nothing he could do to stop the
boy from finding him, so he lay still and waited. What
could he possibly say to him.
He had done a lot of horrendous things since becoming
a demon and the word regret never entered his vocabulary,
yet right now, faced with his boys innocence, he felt very
ashamed and disgusted at the things he had done in that
alley last night.
They were things that he knew Xander would never
understand or forgive. It only served to convince Spike
that he needed to break all bonds with the boy and move
He did not like the turn his unlife had taken since his arrival
here. Fuck, he should have just eaten them the first
night and been done with it. This whole fuckin' fiasco
was the Slayer's fault. The Slayer and that fuckin' fuckhead
of a Sire.
He waited while Xander entered the cave. He waited while
the boy worked his way closer. He froze when the warm
fingertips brushed over him, and when the boy finally reached
him the silent tears fell as Xander crawled under the coat
and pressed his warm back up against Spike's chest.
"Why are you here, boy? What do you want from me?"
Spike's tone was firm and distant, but his arm circled
Xander's waist and pulled him in closer.
Xander pressed back and sighed in relief.
"I just want to be near you. I don't feel like I am complete
when we are apart. It is like part of me is missing.
Spike held fast, but spoke clearly in Xander's ear.
"We can not be together. You know that. It is not what
either of our lives are set for.
You are among the living. You live your life in the sunlight.
You will marry and have children. You will have your
own home and you and your family will grow old together.
I can't be any part of that.
I'm already dead. My time to live has past."
Xander rolled over to face the Demon.
"I don't care about any of that. I just want to go with you.
Willow says we're connected. I feel it. Can't you?
Are you telling me you don't want me?"
His voice was cracked and whisper low.
Spike's dead heart broke and he pressed
his lips against his boy's. Xander reacted immediately
throwing his arms around Spike's neck and pulling
their bodies as tight together as possible.
Opening his mouth he welcomed the cool tongue
by wrapping is own warm one around it.
"Please, Demon, my body hurts to be with you.
Even if it is only to be one time, please make love to me.
You asked me once if I knew what men do together.
Show me. Show me how they love each other.
Give me the memories that I will need to carry me through
my life without you."
Spike kissed him again and knew he wouldn't refuse.