Disclaimer: I do not own any of the
characters in this story and make no
money off them.
Summary: AU. Xander is a young man
living in an Amish community when he
finds himself confronted by the evil of a
STRONG WARNING: although done in a respectful
manner, this story deals with religious issues. If you
find that offensive DO NOT READ.
Willow knew the instant her Brother and the demon had joined.
She felt their auras blend, swirl together and become one.
At that moment she knew in her heart it was too late to ever
go back. No matter what happened they would always be
Sitting alone in her room she picked up her bible, clutching it to
her chest, to pray.
She rocked her small body back and forth.
The tears flowed freely as she grieved the nieces and
nephews she would never see. She cried for the life and
family Xander would never have, and for the future that
would never happen.
Reaching into her apron pocket for a handkerchief, her
bible slipped to the floor and fell open.
The pages fluttered, parted and settled with purpose.
Hoping it was an answer to the questions she had been
praying for, Willow settled in to read. The book had fallen
open on Ezekiel 36:26 and read:
"A new heart also will I give you and a new spirit will
I put within you and I will take away the stoney heart out
of your flesh and I will give you a heart of flesh"
She read it twice and shook her head. She felt that
somewhere in there was the answer, but couldn't
Lowering her head she prayed, not for understanding,
but for the strength of faith. Their lives were not their
own and the One who carried them would provide.
Quietly she closed the book and set it on the bed stand.
She had to trust that all would work out in the way of it's
own destiny. In the way of God's plan.
Willow returned to to the warm sweet smells of the kitchen to
help her Mother. For some reason she now felt they would still
need to finish the preparations.
Spike held tight to the boy. Knowing when they parted it
would be for the last time. Limp and spent, his cock slid
out of the warmth of Xander's leaking hole.
Sensing the change in mood, Xander strained to see Spike's face.
"Don't say it. Don't you dare say it, Demon."
"NO! We made love. That changed everything. Didn't you
feel it. It was like something snapped into place. We are
Xander clutched tightly to Spike's now distant form.
Spike gently pryed the fingers loose.
"Xander, Love, let go. It didn't change anything. I shouldn't
have done that but I am an evil, selfish bastard. You are still
you and I am still me. What we did doesn't change anything
that I said earlier, in fact it just makes it more obvious.
You need to dress, Pet and go home. Go back to your home
and you family where you belong. When the sun sets I
will be leaving. Heading back to the city."
Xander pushed away. "How can you do that? I thought
you cared about me. About us. You, you, ass!"
Xander sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his
arm. "I hate you."
He gathered up his clothes and scrambled for the opening
of the cave.
Spike flinched at the weak curse word, knowing it was
probably the harshest thing Xander had ever said.
He also knew how hard it was for Xander to lie like that.
The whole cave smelled of the saline of Xander's tears mixed
and blended with Spike's own. He listened to the hammering,
pounding of the boy's broken heart as it ran in the direction
He listened till it was too far away to hear anymore.
Alone, cold, and more miserable than he had ever been, Spike
curled up and waited for nightfall. He felt empty and totally
He searched himself for his demon, wondering why the
expected temper tantrum was not occurring.
"Figures, even that bastard is mad at me."
As Xander arrived back in the yard behind the house, he
wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt. Trying to
right himself and look somewhat normal he smoothed
his hair and brushed the damp earth off his britches.
All he wanted to do now was slip, unseen, up the stairs to his
room and lie down. He made it as far as the top step
of the porch.
"Xander! Where have you been? I have been looking
all over for you."
Xander flinched as though he had been struck. "I'm sorry
Father. I really haven't been feeling so well."
Jacob felt his Son's forehead.
"There is no fever. Do you need your Mother to give
you some castor oil?"
Xander almost laughed. Could things really get any worse?
"No, Father. I'll be fine." He started again to climb the
porch steps knowing it couldn't possibly be that easy.
"Well if you are not sick then you should be getting back to
your work. You have been very neglectful of your chores.
It is not like you."
Putting his arm around his Son, Jacob patted his back
"I know you are unsure about the wedding, Son, but I
promise you that it is to be expected. All men know it
is a great responsibility to take on and be the head of a
family, but you must trust that God will lead you in the
way you are to go."
Xander nodded numbly. What did it matter. He would
do what was expected.
He had no reason now not to.
"I'm sorry Father. I will finish slopping the hogs then tend
to the horses hooves."
Xander turned to leave, but stopped when his Father
"No, leave that to Willow. You still have not gotten that axal
off the wagon. We will have extra willing hands here tomorrow
to help us put on the new one so I would like to have you
pull it apart and make it ready."
Xander's voice was flat and unemotional.
"Yes, Father. I'll do it right away."
There was nothing more to say. Xander turned and
Jacob watched him go. He had never had reason to worry
about his Son but now he was. Jacob resolved that he and his wife
would say an extra prayer for Alexander tonight.
Xander went to the back of the barn where the buggy
sat still in the same condition he had left it in.
His anger got the best of him and he kicked the wheel.
Not suprisingly he didn't feel any better.
With a sigh he laid on the ground and slid under the side
of the buggy that was propped up on wooden blocks.
He took his hammer and began smacking the rusty bolts
hoping to loosen them for easier removal.
Nothing helped. Finally on the third try, he swung and
smacked as hard as he could.
The bolt let loose along with the axal and buggy.
Xander froze in that last second before the entire thing
came crushing down on him.