Author: Thea Zara aka 50ftqueenie
Warnings/Squicks: The plot is driven by child abuse (both sexual and physical), non-con, slash, violence, attempted suicide, bloodplay, and the author making horribly cliche use of multiple personality disorder caused by the first two. There is however plot and H/C. The non con/child abuse is part of that and NOT part of the slash relationship itself.
Summary: Xander has a trigger, and with an unexpected death, the First now has a means to use it. Set just after Orpheus in Season 4 of Angel, and just prior to the Buffy episode 'Dirty Girls'.
Author's note: This is obviously going to go AU right off the bat, and in this AU, Spike's trigger is broken enough that the First can no longer make him kill, but it can still cause blackouts.
Previous Parts: Memories
Angel, Wes, Lorne and Spike began searching through various books for any other mentions of the prophesy, while Fred and Connor packed away the few leftovers. As soon as everyone was busy, Xander crept up the stairs.
After a little searching, and a little more unconscious sniffing, Xander tracked down his goal. Taking a deep breath, he slipped into Cordelia's room. He pulled a chair up to sit by her bed and took her hand. He settled back in the chair and just watched her sleep. His mind skipped from thought to thought as he ignored the main topic of discussion on the first floor.
He began talking eventually, pouring out all the things that had happened in the year since they'd last talked. She'd suddenly stopped holding up her end of their regular communications, and like a fool he didn't see.
How could they possibly think he was this 'One Who Sees' person? If he could miss something so basic. Cordelia Chase didn't just stop talking to you, even if her end goal was to in fact never speak to you again. She would verbally, and quite possibly physically, if need be, hand you your ass first, so you knew why you were being banned from her realm.
"God, I'm so sorry, Cordy. I should have known, I should have tried to find out why. You needed me and I screwed up same as always. You were right, still the fuckin' Zeppo."
"I don't know about how you think you screwed up, moron, but don't you ever call yourself that again. That was the stupidest thing I ever said to you, and I'd prefer not to be reminded of my mistakes, if you don't mind." Cordelia said acidly from the bed.
He smiled at her through his teary eyes. "I really missed you, Cordy."
"I know." She said simply, right before all hell broke loose, only not literally cause these things happen, but there wasn't a Hellmouth below the Hyperion.
Bringers smashed through the windows, the SECOND floor windows. Xander's mind took a microsecond to try and figure that out, while the rest of him was moving and pulling Cordelia with him. The pair of them dove out the door, pulling it shut behind them. He pulled her towards the stairs but suddenly a large ominous looking man stepped into their path.
"Well now, I don't really cotton to a young man and woman alone together without proper chaperons. Makes it all too easy for the woman to seduce a man to sin. Whores the lot of them. O'course you're not really lookin' to buy what she's selling, isn't that right? You're lookin' to be seduced by a whole different barrel of sin these days. And even then you managed to find another demon whore just like this one here. Now what do you suppose that says about you?"
Xander stood in front of Cordy, pushing her back down the hall without taking his eyes off the man. Before they could retreat, Bringers poured out of Cordelia's room, blocking their path. With a glance, he knew their only way out was past the man standing in front of them.
Xander's stance changed, and he strolled towards the man, a smirk in play across his face. "It says I have good taste, unlike you." His stroll became a stalk as he moved around the now wary man. "Poor little Caleb. So sad and delusional. So pathetic even your mother couldn't love you, isn't that right, Cal? God and people thought I was a loser. You get off on butchering innocent girls, and blame it on mommy issues. You worship a demon who led you down the path to Hell with breadcrumbs and body parts."
"I worship the First, Boy. The alpha and the omega, that which will cleanse this world-"
"You worship an egocentric creature who's looking to make it's way into this reality by way of a cosmic loophole. But let's get back to you, and your patheticness, shall we? You stand there hurling insults and hatred at your betters, filled to the brim with the stench of the First. You let it slide into you, corrupting the small sliver of soul you have left, just so you can feel something other than self loathing, but deep down you know its all a lie, and you embrace the lie, cause without it, you've damned yourself for nothing."
"You know nothing, you are nothing, just some sniveling tag along who let Eve and her treacherous get, like this vampire's whore, lead you away from the glory and righteousness of the garden-"
Caleb's rant was cut off as a shoe bounced off his head, thrown by a very pissed off and practically glowing Cordelia. Xander was smirking beside her. "Someone's in troooouble." He said in a sing-song voice before leaning against one wall to watch the fun, and keep an eye on the bringers behind them.
"I don't know who you think you are, with your creepy pedophile priest Ken doll style and all, but maybe I should introduce myself, since you're clearly new to this whole thing. My name is Cordelia Chase. And this? This is where I kick your ass." As she spoke she grew brighter and brighter, her fierce smile breaking through even Caleb's mammoth ego. Before he could say or do anything, however, she spun around and slammed her still shoe wearing foot into his chest, sending him flying backwards.
Xander slid into a fighting stance at her back, preparing to fight the bringers, but the bright light she exuded seemed to keep them at bay, even in their blindness.
Caleb recovered far to quickly. He and Cordelia began trading blows in earnest each staggering under the onslaught until one particularly strong hit sent her flying into a wall. Before Caleb could move towards her, Xander stepped into his path. "You really don't wanna do that."
"Well now, I thought you were s'posed to be this 'One Who Sees' fella. I'm guessing it's on the fritz right about now, cause there's nothing I want more in this world than to kill that little bitch, before I finish with you."
"Oh, I know that, I just meant you caused her to mess up her hair. She's not just gonna kill you for that."
"Well now that's mighty tough talk for a-" His words were cut off as Cordy kicked him in the groin. Caleb sank to the floor whimpering.
"Did he really mess up my hair?" She asked slightly panicked.
"It looks very stylish, all windblown and tousled." Xander replied in a placating manner, his hands slipping down to block 'little Xander' just in case.
"Well, that's ok then." She said before grabbing his hand and running past Caleb and down the stairs to the lobby.