bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,

My Fall For S/X donation

TITLE: Mathematical Equations. (1/1)


RATING: Adult for language and attempted sex.
PARING: S/X of course
SUMMARY: This is the Spike and Xander, vampire and consort couple
from the holiday stories. They work, off and on, for the Council, but their
main concern is each other and their enjoyment of life together.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters in this story and make no
profit from their use.
WARNING: Not really. Just the usual man on man and frankly there
isn't a lot of that. Sigh.

"Wait a minute, Spike I don't think this is right."
"No fuckin' kiddin' Sherlock. What was your first fuckin' clue?"
"Well, Mr. Smart Ass, it could be the fact that my face is
smooched and my arm is caught."
"OUCH!OUCH! Spike, quit!"
"Stop squirming! Goddamn it you're making it worse!"
"Worse? Jesus T. Christ, Spike I'm tangled up here like a fuckin'
fly in a spider's web how could it be worse?"

Spike sighed deeply as he casually swung the sex swing-harness
they had just purchased from Anal Andy's back and forth and
tried to figure out what they were doing wrong.

"Well, fuck! I'll tell you what, Xan when we bought this damn
thing I didn't think it would be this hard to put together."

Xander was bound, rolled, and tangled into an impossible angle
and Spike was just sure there was no way he was going to be
able to shove his cock in that.

This was by far worse than the naked slip and slide they had tried.
The baby oil they had coated themselves in went so beyond
lubrication that they never could get a grip on each other enough
to successfully fuck.

In the end, with a buttery resignation they had jerked themselves
off and gone to the backyard to hose down.

After rechecking the diagram and description, Spike casually
stroked his erection as he examined the problem from all
possible angles.

Suddenly with a snap of his long thin fingers, his face lit up.
"I've got it! Oh you're gonna love this Pet. Apparently we were
looking at the instructions upside down. Seems you should
be on your back with your feet up in the air. Huh. Makes sense
when you think about it."

Spike continued to nudge the swing idly, causing Xander's ass to
wave slowly back and forth in the cool air of the play room.
"Well shit, aren't I looking the fool." Xander chuckled.
"Come on Bleachy, flip me like a pancake and let's get this show
on the road."

After another 15 minutes of wrestling, grunting, and physical
exertion the vampire had his human aimed and repositioned.
The swinging of the contraption had added an element of
frustration to the job, but the bare ass of the boy finally matched
the illustration on the instructions and Spike was confident
nothing else could go wrong.

"O.k, Love this is it. Here we go. Hold onto your hat cause
I'm gonna knock your socks off."

Xander was temporarily distracted by the thought that he should
be enhancing the moment by wearing said hat and socks and resolved
to do that the next time.

Standing between Xander's wide spread legs, Spike began pushing
the swing. Faster and further on each shove, higher and wider he went
Xander gripped both hands on the nylon webbing and waited happily
while his own proud stiff cock bounced against his flat shaved belly.

Slathering the lube on his overly ready dick, Spike shoved the swing,
pointed his tool , and waited on the return of the boy's hole.
When it did come back it sailed easily over the head of Spike's cock
and unceremoniously drifted away again.

"Was that it? Cause I gotta tell ya Spike I was hoping for better.
I mean considering what we paid for this thing. Well, o.k. I put it on
our Council's expense account but still, I didn't feel a thing."

Barely hearing the complaints, Spike had gone back to studying his
paperwork and scratching his bare ass as he attempted to work out
this new glitch.

"I think we need to lower the ceiling straps. We forgot to work out
the equation of the height of the hole as opposed to the angle of the dangle.
No sweat. We can deal with this."

Xander sighed. It was beginning to look like the only orgasms he
was going to have in the next hour or so would have to be handled
"So, Spike. You don't mind if I just tug one off while I wait do you?"

By now Spike had his hand held calculator out and was frantically
crunching numbers.

"Huh? What? Oh, no problemo Pet. Have at it and I'll get back
with you when I have this worked out."

Happily, Xander wrapped one hand around the shaft of his cock
and let the other hand drift down to the smooth hairless balls.

He had to admit the motion of the contraption along with the way
it opened and exposed his hole was erotic as fuck. If it was this
good alone it had to be twice as good with another person.
Even without a calculator he could add up that much.

Xander continued stroking himself, twisting his wrist and swiping
his thumb over the leaking head on each squeezing move.
"Oh fuck Spike, that feels so good."

Xander's empty hole flexed and winked searching for it's vampire.
"Damn, talk to me Baby. Tell me what you want to do to my hot
little hole."
Xander's hand sped in anticipation.

Spike stood at Xander's head, yard stick in hand, measuring
and jotting numbers down on a small scratch pad, reading
glasses balanced on the tip of his nose.

"Huh? Oh, sure. yes oh yes oh god you hot human you. you
have me so horny i think i just may explode if i don't ram my
cock in and fuck you now."

Spike's distracted deadpan monotone did nothing to deter Xander's rising
need. His hips were now humping the air wildly as his hand rolled
and tugged his sack. The veins on his thick cock bulged and strained
as the purpled head leaked, dribbling and smearing each time it
slapped against his tan skin.

Spike was now occupied by the effort of measuring cock to floor
on himself and ass hole to floor on his boy but still trying to be the
ever thoughtful boyfriend.

"that's it pet. pull that pud. I can't wait to ream you out. i want
to..........THAT'S IT!"

When the final numbers fell into place and Spike knew the solution
to his mathematical problems had been solved the joy was too much
to contain.
"I've got it!"

Xander threw his head back and stroked faster. Spike's orgasmic
shout was always the catalyst he needed to send him over the edge.
"Oh God Spike! Me Too!!"

Xander's body stiffened as he shot stringy blob after blob of thick
creamy joy onto his hand and belly. The after shocks rocked his
body and vibrated into the webbing of the swing. Spike watched,
annoyed at the set back, and waited till his boy was limp and relaxed.

"Damn, Spike. you were right about this thing after all. That was great.
Hey, I wonder if we have any more of that roast beef in the frig."

Before Spike had a chance to conjure up a scathing reply, his deprived
dick watched helplessly as his pet human curled up, limp, relaxed and swayed
happily in the swing.

Xander was floating on a cloud of after glow when the phone interrupted Spike's
newest calculations of the boys age times the number of orgasms per day he
was capable of, divided by the number of squirts he had just released.

The answer should indicate the projected recovery time and tell Spike
if it was worth the wait or if he should just wank and forget it.
"Be a pal Spike and get that would ya?"

Snatching up the receiver, Spike snarled under his breath.
"Why not. Not like I got spunk drippin' off me fingers or nothin'.
Hello! Who is it and what the fuck you want? We're busy here."

Entirely accustomed to the rudeness of the vampire, the caller
responded unfazed.
"Well, hello to you too Spike. It's Giles. Is Xander there with you?"

Spike rolled his eyes.
"Boy's tied up at the moment. Tell me what you want and if he
swings around later I'll mention you called."

"Spike, this is an official Council business call so I would appreciate
a little respect if you will."

Spike held the receiver just inches from his still rigid penis and
humped dramatically. He rolled his eyes back and flailed his free
hand wildly in the air.

He saw the call as just one more interference in their days activities and
resentfully knew it would only further postpone his scheduled orgasms.

All this had caught Xander's attention and he struggled to free
himself from the binding contraption.
"Hey is that Giles? HI GILES!"

Spike sighed. Talk about harness interuptus.

Tumbling to the floor, Xander grabbed at the phone, thankfully
with his dry hand.
"Hey Giles what's up. You haven't called in a while. Not since
that little misunderstanding at the zoo and I want you to know we
still plan on paying you back the bail money you sent.
So what can we do for ya?"

Xander glanced up in time to see Spike had scribbled the name 'Steven'
on the front of a pillow and was now wildly gyrating and grinding it into
his crotch, punctuating it with strained expressions of 'fuck face'.

Barely able to control himself Xander snorted and covered his hand
over the receiver while he giggled till he was in danger of peeing himself.
"So, Giles" snigger, sniffle, "How's Steven?"

"Why he's very well indeed. Thank you for asking, in fact he is here
in the office. He's working on a little project for me right now but I'll tell
him of your interest.

Xander frantically crossed his legs, tossed the phone to Spike and
ran laughing for the bathroom.

Thoroughly bored Spike was ready to bring this call to an end.
"Well, boy is fine, I haven't turned him...... yet. If you're calling about
suspicious charges showing up on the Council accounts, it has nothing
to do with us. We don't know anything about them. Especially the
ones from Anal Andys, Penis world, or Petsmart. So, thanks for
calling Watcher. Don't be such a stranger. Ta."

"Spike! Don't you dare hang up that phone!"

Spike cringed. He knew he wasn't getting away that easily.
Not when the Watcher had something specific on his mind.
"O.k. just let me have it then leave us the fuck alone."

Surprisingly the voice on the other end continued calmly.
"Spike, I did not call to yell at you. I have an, um, situation.
Very urgent, of course, something only you and Xander can handle.
It is a matter of extreme secrecy and must be handled discreetly. Oh, and it
actually does entail those odd charges that have appeared on your
expense account. An expense account that can be cancelled at any time
if the head of the Council deems necessary.

Spike cringed. Giles had him by the cock head and they both knew it.
"Fine. But what the fuck kind of mission needs Xander, and you
better not be putting my boy in danger or selling his ass cause that
belongs to me."

Right on cue Xander came back in the room in time to catch the end
of the conversation.
"A job? We got a job? HELL YEA! I knew he wouldn't hold that
holiday shit against us. Good ole Giles. So what is it?"

Resigned, Spike knew once his boy heard that much there would
be no dissuading him so setting the phone down he switched on the
speaker and watched as Xander straightened his still naked body,
clasp both hands behind his back, stood at parade rest and waited.
One final drop of cum dripped from the end of his dick and hit the
floor. Spike whimpered.

"Go ahead Giles, Agent Bloody and I are standing by."

Straining his enhanced hearing Spike was sure he could hear
chuckling, snuffling, and slurping on the other end.

Interesting, but not his concern at the moment.

Clearing his throat, Giles continued.
"Yes, well, as I said we have a crisis on our hands that requires
certain knowledge and information that I feel you two may
be able to supply. What? Just a moment, please"

Spike and Xander exchanged a look of confusion and continued
to wait, somewhat impatiently as Giles had an apparently heated
conversation with someone in his office.

Straining to hear, Spike was able to catch the last part of..
"I'm doing my best. These things must be handled with delicacy
or they will refuse to help. STOP THAT! You are making it worse!"

Xander tapped Spike on the shoulder and mouthed "Well?"
Spike just shrugged, but fact was he had lost all interest in
any world saving, universal apocalyptic situations.
He had a Consort to fuck and this interruption was intolerable.

"WATCHER! Answers NOW or we hang up."

Turning to Xander, he pointed.
"You, boy, back in the net!"
Xander squeaked, snickered and complied.
Switching off the speaker, Spike clutched the hand set of the phone
and waited.
"Let's have it Watcher."

For once Xander was in total agreement and trusted Spike to
settle the problem, save the world with his brilliant vampire advice,
and return to the swing at hand immediately.

Giles knew he had avoided the problem long enough, took a deep breath
and laid the whole thing out. Xander swayed back and forth as he
watched conflicting expressions flow from one to another across
Spike's face.

Finally the answer came as his vampire snatched up the complicated instruction
sheet from the floor and started.
"O.k., I think I know where you made your first mistake. Is the boy on
his back? Good. Good. Well once you flip him over, measure the
distance from cock to hole to floor and divide by................

The End.

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