Paring: S/X with a side of W/G
Summary: Xander is drifting, looking for a purpose in life.
One that finally comes clear when he spots a certain
hairdresser by the name of Mr. William. Xander
immediately begins planning and plotting to win over
this scrumptious man. Of course nothing worth having
ever comes easily.
Genre: Comedy, romance. HAU
Warnings: The usual bad language as well as graphic m/m sexual
activities. Also warned of hints of poultry perversions.
Disclaimer: I Own or have claim on none of the characters or products
used and named in this story and no profit is made.
Feedback: Much appreciated. It encourages me to continue.
Special thanks to Petxnd for the wonderful banner and her patience and
willingness to preread and comment on my stories.
Xander woke slowly with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.
Oddly, that song seemed to be Etta James singing At Last My
Love Has Come Along.
Ordinarily, the strangeness of that would have bothered him but,
remembering last night, it seemed more than appropriate, so he
Rolling onto his back, Xander stretched out, straining every muscle in
his body right down to the pointing of his toes till the burn started to skirt
uncomfortable, then he went limp, slumping down into the lumpy mattress
of his sofa bed. He sighed happily.
It had been the most incredible, life changing night of his life.
When he first embarked on this task of collecting ownership of the fabulous
Mr. William he couldn't have imagined they would have gotten together this
quickly and smoothly.
Yet, here they were. Totally committed and bonded together. Forsaking
all others, cleaving only unto each other. Xander scratched his balls and
wondered if it was too soon to suggest a commitment ceremony.
After giving it some thought he decided that, yes it probably was. He knew
that, to his new lover, Xander appeared cool and aloof and maybe for right
now he would maintain that mysterious facade. Just to keep him intrigued.
Xander shook his head and continued to grin like a loon.
Spike! He had a lover named Spike. A lover that sported him around town
on the back of a powerful, black Harley. A lover that kissed like the devil
Xander rolled over on his side, giggled and wiggled his toes. Immediately
his mood went serious and he flopped back.
'GAY!' His brain stamped out the word. 'I'm gay now and need to tell the
world. After all the world will want to know. Besides, Spike will expect it.
We can't move forward till I announce myself. Where to start. Where to start.'
His contemplation of his gayness was interrupted by the sound, directly
overhead, of crashing dishware and the cursing that always followed.
Xander shot straight up in bed. Those sounds from the kitchen meant only
one thing. It was Sunday morning. The one day a week when his Mother
attempted to make breakfast.
Usually pancakes. Sometimes she remembered to buy flour. Sometimes
she tried to make them without. Either way a little gin added to her orange
juice convinced her that the Sunday morning ritual was a success and spurred
her on for another week.
Made no difference to Xander. He was strictly a donut man.
This Sunday morning, however, was about to be a whole lot different.
He knew his Father would stay in bed in an attempt to avoid the whole
pancake debacle, which was great. It gave Xander a chance to proclaim his
preference, one parent at a time.
Kicking off his blankets, Xander sat up in bed, resting against the padded,
stained sofa back. He tapped his fingers on his knees and thought.
'O.k. This must be done carefully. Worded just so. Poor woman will
be devastated. The realization that the family name, such as it is, ends with
me will no doubt crush her. She must accept it. Face the fact that Spike and I
are a couple. I don't want her upset next Mother's day when we give her a
card that says "from the two of us".
Xander scratched his head then, catching a whiff of his fingers, remembered
last nights manual manipulation and decided to wash up before confronting her
with the exciting news of gay son Xander.
Jessica Harris stared at the little puddle of gin that pooled up on the counter
beside her glass. After looking around casually to make sure no one was about
she quickly lapped it up and resumed her task of fixing breakfast for her boys.
She tightened the wrap on her housedress and stumbled to the fridge for a
couple more eggs. Throwing her head back she bellowed out a tune that
for some odd reason kept playing a loop through her brain.
"At laaaast my...something, something....has come aloooong."
She shuffled her feet in a little dance and cracked the eggs and, along with
several chunks of shell, plopped them into the bowl.
Jessica prided herself on her weekly ritual.
It took a lot, but hey, being a good wife and Mother was never easy.
Xander stood in the doorway and watched his Mother with compassionate,
benevolent eyes. He knew, as an adult, he would have to take charge of this
situation and help her to understand and accept.
It was after all, his life.
Sweeping in he threw his arm around her shoulders and tugged her
next to him. Placing his hand on the top of her head he pushed
her face against his chest causing her to trip and fall into him.
"Ah, my dear Mother. How are you this fine Sunday morn?"
Struggling against suffocation, Jessica shoved back, prying her face from
her son's tee covered chest, her first thought being
'Damn I need to do the laundry!'
Frowning and attempting to straighten her wild hair she snatched up her
bowl and began furiously beating the crunchy egg mixture.
"I'm fine. What the fuck got into you this morning?"
'Well.' Xander thought, 'If that isn't the perfect segue'
"Actually, Mother dearest, we need to converse regarding an issue that has
very recently come to my attention and concern. Something that, regretfully,
may impact all our lives."
Jessica stopped stirring and waited. Part of her wishing she had not had that
second orange juice and part of her wishing she had had a third.
"O.k., I'll bite. What the fuck is this issue? Is it the pancakes? Are you saying
you don't like my fuckin' pancakes?"
Xander chuckled at her childlike innocence. He took the bowl from her
hands and set it down on the cluttered counter. He then took both her hands
in his and looked her in the bloodshot eyes.
"No, dear Mother. This is something that goes far beyond the pancakes."
"Coffee? Is it the coffee? Cause I only reused them grounds a couple times.
They were still good."
Xander could feel himself losing control and began to wish he had one of those
magic orange juices in his hand.
"It has nothing to do with the fuckin' breakfast! I'm gay, Mother! I'm gay!"
Xander waited, stunned that he has just blurted it out that way.
He stared into his Mother's blank face and knew when the realization
sank in and the shock wore off she may just possibly collapse. He planted
his feet solidly preparing to catch her as she went down.
"Well, that's nice Dear. I'm feeling rather cheerful myself this morning.
Goodness Xander, you sounded so serious. I was afraid for a minute
there that you were going to say something crazy like......oh, I don't
know.......maybe you had that sweet little Willow girl pregnant or
that you were a homo. Isn't that silly of me?"
Jessica chuckled, turned and resumed her egg mutilation.
Xander left the room.