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You know they're doin' it
Xander Harris - Undercover 
4th-Nov-2007 04:49 am
Title: Xander Harris - Undercover 39/40

Author: BmblBee
Rating: Adult
Paring: S/X with a side of W/G
Summary: Xander is drifting, looking for a purpose in life.
One that finally comes clear when he spots a certain
hairdresser by the name of Mr. William. Xander
immediately begins planning and plotting to win over
this scrumptious man. Of course nothing worth having
ever comes easily.
Genre: Comedy, romance. HAU
Warnings: The usual bad language as well as graphic m/m sexual
activities. Also warned of hints of poultry perversions.
Disclaimer: I Own or have claim on none of the characters or products
used and named in this story and no profit is made.
Feedback: Much appreciated. It encourages me to continue.

Spike looked back and forth between the two men that
were staring at each other and tried to figure out what was

"There something I missed? You two know each other or somethin'?"

Stepping forward, Xander's eyes darted back and forth between
Angel's smug face and his slightly bulging pocket. He had just
seconds to decide what to do. He could turn tail and run. He could
pull an oozie out of his pants and shoot Angel where he sat, or he
could face the situation, call Angel's bluff and hope for the best.

Angel waited, watching the eyes of the young man and knowing he
held all the cards. No matter how this went down the boy was an
insignificance that was on his way out. Whoever the fuck Wes was he
needed to come collect the trash and set it out on the curb.

So what if the kid left his pants on the floor and spent the night. If he was
a real threat to Angel's future here he would have clothes in the closet.
Pants and shirts in the drawers. Shoes under the bed.

Spike then noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that Wes and Gunn had
quietly slipped into the room and were also waiting to see who would
make the next move.

Finally, Xander picked up his shirt, carefully shook it out, and acting as though
he had all the time in the world, slipped it over his head and tugged it down.
He then looked Angel straight in the eye and spoke clearly, his voice steady
as a rock.

"Go for it. If I'm on my way out it might as well be with a bang."

The grin on Angel's face burst into a full look of absolute glee as
he stood slowly and reached down into his pocket.
Pulling out the contents, he tossed them on the coffee table directly
in front of where Spike sat.

Confused, Spike stared at the pictures and book and again looked
at the two men who had squared off.

"What the fuck is all this?"

Xander stood still. What could he say? He couldn't deny what was spelled
out in black and white, in his own handwriting. And wasn't it said that
a picture is worth a thousand words? Well then there were 12 thousand
of them in the dozen pictures laying spread out.

Angel sat back down, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees.
His face now wore an expression of worry, confusion and concern.

"Not sure. I found those when they fell out of the boy's pants pocket.
I thought they were yours but when I picked them up I knew they were
much too big in the butt for you, so I tossed them back down and all
that just tumbled out.

It would appear the boy has been spying on you and from the dates
in the book it has been going on for some time. Good thing I came along
when I did. No telling what a psycho like that is capable of."

Xander finally snapped out of his stupor and found his voice.

"Are you saying I have a big ass? Cause from where I stand you are
the biggest ass in this room."

Jumping up and stepping into his face, Angel and Xander continued to
shout and argue over butt size and shape, neither noticing as Spike picked
up the items in front of him.

Turning his back to the pointless rump comparisons, Spike walked slowly
through the archway into the kitchen area as he began to read through
the small black note book.

When he was finished, he laid it on the kitchen counter and started working
his way through the pictures, one by one. He remembered the morning
he had hugged Gunn and Wes had kissed him on the porch steps.
He shuddered to think someone, even Xander, had been not only
watching but had taken snap shots.

He spent extra time examining the last one then, without a word, stacked
them back together and returned to the bickering that still raged unchecked.


Silence split the air.

"I want both of you to shut the fuck up! Wes! Take Xander home and
you and Gunn need to leave or you'll be late for work. Now!"

Xander stepped to Spike's side and spoke quietly in his ear.
"Please. Spike please, I can explain. Please don't send me away.
Not like this."

Spike stepped away from him, never making eye contact.

"Go home Xander. I need for you to leave now. I'll talk to
you later but right now there is nothing you can say that I want to hear.
Please. Just leave. Wes, take him home now."

Reluctantly Wes took Xander by the arm gently and coaxed him out.
"Come on Xander. Let's just go. Things have a way of working themselves
out. Come on now. Spike's right. You don't want Charles and I to be late
for work."

Sadly, Xander let himself be led away, stopping at the last minute to look back.
Spike stood facing away.

Angel, knowing Spike couldn't see him pointed his finger at Xander
then turned, bent over, and waved his hands around in a motion
designed to look like a huge bubble butt.
He then turned back around and with a winners smirk on his face
waved bye bye.

When they were finally alone, Spike sighed and sat back down.

"What exactly is it you want Angel?"

Angel dropped to the sofa facing him.
"I want you Will. I want us. I told you. I've been miserable without
you. I've lost everything. My life is in shambles. Besides, you have
plenty of room here. We could settle in, be happy. Remember how
happy we used to be?"

Spike closed his eyes and appeared to be giving the proposal
serious consideration. He then rubbed his hands roughly over his forehead.
"And if I say no? What if I don't want you settled in here?"

Opening his eyes, Spike straightened his back and shoulders.
"I remember. I remember everything. All the good times and all
the bad and to be honest there were a lot more of the latter than I
ever wanted to admit. I've moved on Angel and I won't go back.
I want you to go."

"Is this because of that kid? He's crazy! Look what the fuck
he was doing? Is that what you want?"

Spike refused to be bated and never let his voice rise above the low
tone he had been able to maintain.

"It has nothing to do with him. This is strictly about you and me and the
fact that there is no more you and me. So, with nothing more to discuss
I suggest you leave."

Furious, Angel sprang to his feet and loomed intimidatingly over where
Spike still quietly sat.

"Leave? How the fuck am I supposed to leave? I told you I lost
everything! Gave it all up for you. It's your fault I'm in this situation.
You think I'm going to just walk away empty handed? BULL SHIT!
You owe me."

Spike's eyebrows went straight for his hair line as a bitter laugh
left his lips.

"Money? Is that it? You came here for money?"

Immediately calming himself Angel quickly crouched at Spike's side
and took hold of his hands.

"No, of course not. I came here for you. I came here because I care for you,
but if that isn't what you want then fine, I'll go. But I need help. You're
doing so well, and I need just enough to put a roof over my head and some
food in my stomach. Just a loan. As soon as I get on my feet I'll pay you back."

Spike slid his hands away from the clammy ones that held them and he crossed
his arms over his chest.

"How much? How much to get you to go away and never come back?"



I know I promised this story would only be 40 chapters long, but the
last chapter ran waaaaaay to long, so it was rewritten and divided
up. Tuesday will be the epilogue.
You know I wouldn't end it like this.
4th-Nov-2007 10:10 am (UTC)
Oh, B, he sent Xander away! *wails* In all fairness, Xander's stalker-y habits could be considered a little unnerving, but also kinda...sweet, in a fandom-only-not-RL-way. And Spike and Xander are MEANT TO BE together. And Spike sent him away! *wails some more* By the way, love how Spike isn't falling for Angel's crap. Let us hope that Xander, WHEN HE AND SPIKE GET BACK TOGETHER (*pleading eyes*), can cure him of any residual longing he may feel for that hair-gelled rat-fink. And by the way, in case you couldn't tell, I enjoyed the chapter immensely even with all the wailing. Can't wait for the final installment, and the sequel (???).
4th-Nov-2007 10:52 am (UTC)
When you think about it, as adorable as Xander is
the whole stalker thing did border on creepy.
Between that and the sleezyness known as Angel
it was just more than Spike could handle.
He has two more chapters.
Will he choose Angel?
Will he choose Xander?
Will he decide to live with neither?
Hmmmm. Weeee'll see.
4th-Nov-2007 10:19 am (UTC)
Christ girl! Definately chocolate worthy, but much happier than what ya had me thinking it would be, lol. I mean Spike wants Angel out, major plus, and he promised he'd talk to Xander later- okay so maybe yell at would be more acurate, but still it's a promise of communication. And as long as there's communication then there's hope.
It's so mature of Xan to call fuckboy's hand, even knowing he was on the losing end... I wonder if he realizes how quickly he's grown up. *sighs* Finding your mate really does a lot for one's psyche.
4th-Nov-2007 10:56 am (UTC)
We have to trust Spike, although how often do
men say they will call and.........
anyway, there is still one little surprise
Xander has left behind. Something that may
turn the tide.
4th-Nov-2007 11:20 am (UTC)
"although how often do
men say they will call and........."

Yeah, but as we've often discussed our boys are NOT most men- I have faith in Spike.

Something Xander left behind, eh? Hmmm, incriminating photos... wait, we already covered that, lol.
Ohhh, I hope he didn't scribble down any of his theoretical scenarios that could be, um, embarrasssing to say the least.
Oh, wait, I know- laundry! He left his boxers and socks behind!
Hmm, ya think Wes'll want his boxers back?
And something tells me Xan's socks are about on par with Dave Lister's, lol.

Okay, Mys is going away now... the men in white coats are a-knockin' and she has to scurry out the back window a'fore they catch her, mawahahahaha.
4th-Nov-2007 11:24 am (UTC)
The Bee stands on the sidewalk at the front of the house
waving her arms high in the air, squeeling and babbling
to distract the white coats till mys can make her get-a-way.
"Hey, wait, no, I was just.........MYSSSssssss...."
4th-Nov-2007 01:46 pm (UTC)
*stealthily sneaks into county general psychward, using her years of experience as a resident, erm, patient to blend in*

"Psst, don't eat the green jello!"

*whacks neanderthal nurse on the head with a suspiciously handy bright yellow umbrella (now, wasn't that an esoteric reference, lol) and steals keys*

*grabs the Bee and goes a runner, artfully stopping to unlock the security doors on their way out*
#username#: Jeff
#d.o.b.#: 1 Jeff, 19Jeffty-Jeff
#password#: jeff
(sorry having an Eddie moment, lol)

What?! Ya didn't think Mys would leave ya in there, esp not with only two chapts left and the boys separated- a girl has to have her priorities, lol.
Ahhh, ya know I couldn't let the Bee take the fall for me- though there are some things I'm sure we could agree to *cough* go down together on. *wiggles eyebrows*
4th-Nov-2007 02:12 pm (UTC)
Although the Bee gratefully accepts the rescue she
does have one or two issues. First, it is 33 degrees
outside and the back flap of the Bee's hospital gown is
waving unattractively in the wind.
Next, the Bee did not have time to swipe the men's urinal
bed pan that she had her eye on.
And lastly, the Bee was hoping not to be rescued till tomorrow
since tonight is karaoke night in the looney bin Happy Room.
I had signed us up for a duet of Jesus Take The Wheel.
4th-Nov-2007 08:37 pm (UTC)
Even while stalking Spike, Xander still loved the boy. Angel so needs to get tromped on. Can Giles do the deed? Spike seems so in control but he let our boy go home....Save the boy, save the world, Bee....(oops that another story..). Can't wait!
4th-Nov-2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
Xander is gone. Sent away. Surely Spike isn't
stupid enough to fall for Angel's slimy charms.
Just two measly chapters left.
Can it all turn around in such a short time?
5th-Nov-2007 12:38 am (UTC)
Xander left something behind....hmmm... lemme think...ooh I know!

His virginity! teehee

Can't wait 'til tomorrow.
5th-Nov-2007 09:45 am (UTC)
Ha Ha that was a good one.
Yeah, maybe Spike should try to stuff
it back in.
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