phase58 (phase58) wrote in bloodclaim,
phase58
phase58
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Lost Forever

Title: Lost forever?
Pairing: The only one that matters S/X
Warnings: m/m sex
Disclaimer: None of it belongs to me, I make no money
Rating: ‘X’ in old money
Summary: Shipwreck.

It’s been so long since I posted I’ve forgotten how to do it, luckily I have my crib sheet from the lovely darkhavens, n if it goes wonky it shows what a klutz I can be!! Can I just say how much I enjoy reading the fics that are posted and also the searches – they’re great, loads of stuff I’ve never read, so a very big Ta!



The ship was tossed around as if it was nothing, a feather on the wind. Lightning cracked and boomed, filling the air with the smell of ozone, the sounds of screaming and panic were all around him, joyous, exciting sounds to his ears, better than the quiet mumble that he’d been used to on this journey.
The sharp odour of fear and panic infused his sense of smell blotting out the half familiar aroma that had bothered him for the past few days. It had constantly remained out of reach on the edge of his senses, but it was tantalisingly ever present nonetheless.
He heard a different crack from that of the thunder and guessed most of the screamers around him had too as suddenly all he heard was silence except for the howling of the wind and the clanging of the ship’s bell. Suddenly the ship lurched and bodies were sailing past him over the rails and into the sea, arms and legs flailing as they tried desperately to keep a head above water.
All in vain though.

Through the screaming he caught the sound of a voice shouting indistinguishable words in a language he wasn’t used to, but he could hear the composure in the voice, even tho he didn’t understand, he knew whoever it was, was trying very hard to calm the panicked humans around him, to help them, to save them. He let out a short bark of laughter, good luck to the bloke, most of these people were simple peasant farmers, a superstitious lot who wouldn’t listen to a voice of reason, certainly not in the midst of a tropical storm on an over laden ferry that should have been put to scrap years ago.
They’d be more intent on saving their chickens or goats to take a blind bit of notice. But the voice carried on, and again it bugged him, like the smell, it nagged and teased, he knew it was familiar but not in the language it was speaking. Sod it he thought, he may as well find out who it bloody well was, he wasn’t going anywhere, plus if he found an injured passenger bleeding out he’d get a good meal for once. He pushed though the crowds of terrified people conspicuous in his paleness against the press of dark bodies around him.
He got closer to the voice and could smell the smell again, obviously belonged together, just as he was in sight of the man beseeching the people to listen to him, pointing at boats and aiding the more sensible to climb into them, there was a huge flash of lightning and the sound of thunder almost deafened his keen hearing, the nearest life boat broke free of its moorings and fell into the roiling water below, the lines caught and wrapped around the legs of the man who had been helping. In that moment he caught a glimpse of the man’s face in the blue flash of lightning, the pieces suddenly all fitting together as the man was pulled, helpless, over the side of the now disintegrating ship.
Without a moments hesitation he dived into the black and seething water after him, his sharp eyes and ears seeking him out, he saw him vaguely through the water during flashes of lightning as he struggled to release his legs from the tangled ropes, his struggle getting weaker and weaker as he was kept below the water and away from the life giving air above him.

He swam over to the now unconscious form and ripped the ropes from around his legs gripping the front of his shirt in a vice like grip, he pushed strongly to the surface where he hauled the limp figure up, he could hear the erratic beat of his heart as it stuttered and stalled from lack of oxygen. There wasn’t a great deal he could do bobbing about in the waves, but he wasn’t going to float there and watch him die. He wrapped both arms around his chest and did a kind of Heinrich manoeuvre hoping the swallowed water would be expelled from his lungs. A couple more squeezes and it seemed to work as he spewed out mouthfuls of the briny water and sucked in great lungfuls of air. He still wasn’t conscious and the arms around him held tight keeping him above the water, keeping him safe, let the others die, he wasn’t bothered, but this one, this one was special and needed saving. He was fine; he didn’t need to breathe and therefore could keep the limp body in his arms afloat as long as his strength held out and as long as the night sky was overhead.
Come daylight though if they hadn’t reached land they’d both be dead, no two ways about it!


2.
He woke to the sound of the sea rushing through the pebbles on the shore. He was amazed that he was alive, as the last thing he remembered was losing consciousness trying to free his legs from the ropes of the lifeboat, how he’d managed it he didn’t know, but here he was, apparently alive if not quite kicking yet.
He did a mental check, yeah empty place inside him, his own personal back hole still there, it was a bit of a blank as to how he got there too and his body felt as if he’d just gone ten rounds with Ali, Tyson and Forman all at the same time. No broken bones luckily, he could hardly move yet somehow he seemed to have dragged himself well away from the shoreline, probably flung there by the storm he reasoned. He appeared to be half in and half out of a cave, the sun was warming him from his butt down to his waterlogged Nike’s but the rest of him was in shade.
He’d deduced this by opening his eye and moving his head ever so slightly because to do any more brought on pain. After a few minutes of realising he was still intact he lifted his head to see what he could of his surroundings. He looked into the cave but all he could see was blackness, until his eyes adjusted and he saw that it went fairly well back into the rock face. Suddenly his whole body stiffened as he saw two baleful yellow eyes staring right back at him.

Crap, he thought, saved from the sea only to be eaten by some scrawny cat like thing living in a cave. Double crap. He stated to talk, quietly, as if to himself, giving himself a bit of courage and also his monologue would hopefully confuse the creature enough for him to try and get away. Yeah right!

“So kitty, why don’t you be a good little ole cat and stay there, not much meat in these bones nowadays wouldn’t make a tasty treat for you, too scrawny now, all gristle with a bit of muscle thrown in, plus way too salty for you, cause hey, been soaked in the old briny for a few hours, yep, sure makes the flesh go all wrinkly, kinda prune-like and I’m sure no self respecting non-man eating cat like thing such as your good self would even bother with a kinda fruity pruney type gristly man like thing like me now would you?” He was edging backwards ever so slowly as he spoke to the yellow eyes, trying no to look directly at them as he knew from years of experience that it would be taken as a challenge to look a predator in the eye and would end badly, this time for him.
“Well, here I am being all snakelike and slithering along just backing quietly away from you so you won’t eat me, cause like I said, too many bones, and really - gnawing, overrated in my opinion, plus little bones get stuck in your throat and make you choke, yet another good reason for the non feastage on yours truly.”
He stopped suddenly as they eyes blinked and then moved fractionally closer through the gloom.

As he’d heard the word ‘quietly’ in the little monologue he all but burst out laughing at the absurdity of it. As long as he’d known him the boy had never ever done anything quietly. Now though, he really should to put him out of his misery, shouldn’t he?

“So, didn’t like the snake comparison eh, well don’t blame you really, nasty bitey things they are, even give a nice kitty cat like you a bit of a nip, so, I’ll just resume my quiet squirming backwards if you don’t mind.”
“As a matter of fact luv, you’ve been putting on quite the performance for little kitty me, and I quiet enjoy your squirming, always makes me feel good!” said a very distinctive voice from the cave.

‘That’ voice? – No, no way in hell could it be him! He was incredulous, it couldn’t possibly be –
“Spike?”
“Fraid so luv, bet you never dreamed you’d end up on a desert island with yours truly for company now did ya?” he laughed as he edged towards the entrance of the cave, careful to keep out of the sunlight, but near enough so Xander could see him.
Xander was deeply confused but then just as equally angry at Spike for letting him think he was practically in the jaws of death.
“Bastard! You could have said it was you, making me squirm like that, not good for my health y’know, thinking I was about to be a kitty meal. And how the fuck are you here? Is this some massive joke on me from the PTB? Cause, really, so not laughing here man!”
Spike inhaled the scent of Xander’s relief, how could he have missed knowing that familiar aroma? It had been a while tho, few years at least. Boy had matured, and like he said not much meat on his bones, muscles in all the right places, still wearing the patch, even tho he knew the witch had offered to magic him a new eye. He looked rugged, a young Indian Jones minus whip and hat.

“No joke pet, just happened to be in the right place at the right time, otherwise you’d be keeping company with Davey Jones.”
“I think somebody’s been watching too many pirate movies! So, tell me bleached blunder, do I owe you my life, and if so WHY?”
Spike laughed, it was so good to hear and see him again. God, he didn’t realise he’d ever missed the boy. If he’d had a heart it would be glad. Damn it if he wasn’t getting soppy and sentimental in his old age.

“Didn’t know you were on that old piece a junk, I was just stowing away, going wherever it took me, could smell you but I didn’t know it, then when the storm hit, heard you - again didn’t know, what the bloody hell language was that anyway?”
“Dongolawi”
“Dong-a-what?”
This time it was Xander’s turn to laugh.
“Idiot, thought you knew languages. It’s Dongolawi and is spoken in a part of Egypt which is where I’ve been for the past year. They would’ve understood it better than English - if they’d listened.” he said sadly.
“They weren’t listening to anything luv, don’t go blaming yourself” Spike told him sympathetically.
“Anyway, on with the tale. Heard you I assumed, telling the folks what to do, saw the ropes break on the lifeboat and wrap round your legs, saw it was you, dived in and rescued ya, dragged your sorry scrawny ass to this beautiful little island and hauled you out of the sea and up here so I could keep an eye on you and not get all dusty. I accept all forms of thanks, by the way, from prostrations to gifts of blood, the latter being gratefully accepted!”
”Ha, as if!”
“Xander, what if there’s just you and me here? How long do you think I’d survive without blood?” It was a sobering thought, and one that had been bothering Spike all the time Xander had been lying unconscious outside his ‘door’.
Xander pondered. He’d gotten over his hatred of Spike a long time ago and had actually come to like him in a begrudging kind of way, not that he’d have ever admitted it to anyone, least of all to Spike! He was a very attractive vampire and now he was older and wiser he could admit it, also he could admit that if Spike asked he wouldn’t say No. He wouldn’t see him starve either, that would be more than cruel, but would it kill him to let him survive? Xander side stepped the issue
.
“We should go for a look around then. Well I should” he said judging the angle of the sun. “Only just after noon, so you can’t come out for a while.”
”How the bloody hell did you know what time it is?”
”Been living without clocks for a long time now, get to know the sun’s position, stars too.”
“Harris, sometimes you surprise even a jaded old vampire like me. I’ve missed you, y’know?” Neither was sure who was the most surprised by Spike’s admission, Spike for voicing it, or Xander for understanding that he too felt the same.

3.
Xander sat himself up, albeit very slowly and with a great deal of pain and lots of ‘ow’s’. He realised that he didn’t know if Spike still had his chip and was now worried about being alone with him in case he got bitten and/or drained.
Spike sighed; he knew what Xander was thinking just from the look on his face, even if he hadn’t smelled the waft of anxiety that just came off him. He was in fact rather fond of the boy and getting fonder by the minute, stupid souled, chipped vampire that he was. He sighed.
“You’re quite safe pet, don’t worry, still can’t bite.” Somehow the sadness came through Spike’s reassurance and Xander felt a pang; good god - he felt sympathy for an evil fiend! But he wasn’t really, not ay more. He was an anomaly, he was practically unique, with the exception of Deadboy, and Xander’s heart went out to him.
Xander realised in that moment that he had missed Spike enormously, it just never occurred to him that the empty feeling inside he’d carried for the past few years was the space Spike used to occupy, and now – now he didn’t feel empty, he actually felt quite happy in the circumstances.
The magnitude of it hit him and he turned to the cave opening, stood and stumbled towards those yellow predatory eyes.
Spike couldn’t understand the confusion of scents coming off Xander, they were very bewildering - grief, guilt, hope, relief, but the most puzzling was mingled in and under-laid all the others, it was the scent of happiness, of acceptance. Spike stood and watched as Xander made his way into the mouth of the cave.

Xander dragged himself into the gloom and up to Spike. He hadn’t seen him in over two years and it gladdened his heart to look at him. He didn’t look as well as he should, his skin looked - not right, his eyes looked tired and he’d lost weight, but he was as bouncy as ever, a bit like tigger! Xander swallowed, loudly in the quiet of the cave.

“I missed you too y’know. Funny how you never realise isn’t it? I didn’t know that the missing bit in me belonged to you. I’ve lived with it for years, a big empty hole inside me, felt out of kilter all this time. Now? Well, nothing’s missing. I feel whole, complete. How weird is that!” He leaned forward and hugged the vampire to him and started to cry. Spike was completely baffled, what the bloody hell was wrong with the kid? What was with the crying? Was he just glad to be alive or did he have to share the island paradise with a mad bloke? And then he smelled that smell again. Xander, although crying on his shoulder was giving off happy smells.
Yep, the boy was barking!

“S’OK pet, come on stop bawlin’- you’re getting me one and only t shirt wet!” Xander started to laugh between sobs and soon he was hiccoughing uncontrollably. Spike knew the only way to stop them was with a shock. So he gave Xander one. It worked. Spike thoroughly enjoyed administering the shock and it seemed Xander wasn’t averse to receiving it.
“Better?”
“Much.”
“It’ll get cold in here when it gets dark, you wanna scout around and get some firewood so we can make a fire? Stay where I can see you – just in case, OK?”
“No worries Spike, I can fend for myself. I am Donut boy no longer, I’m more Tonto, Kimosabe!” he said laughing as he wandered out into the sunshine.
He striped his shirt off and laid it over a palm tee trunk, removed his trainers and left them alongside the shirt. He stood with his back to the cave and stretched, trying to get rid of the aches and pains he felt.
Spike watched mesmerised as Xander’s muscles bunched and moved. He liked the lean look on him, and brown? He had a tan to die for. He wouldn’t mind running his hands all over that nice little package, and that was just the torso. Spike felt a stirring in his loins which he hadn’t felt at the thought of a man in quite a long time. He inhaled deeply, embedding the scent of Xander in his memory as he rubbed his hand absently over his crotch.

Xander found firewood and also had a scout around the area. He saw no other signs of life, but he did see a couple of bodies that had washed up on the shore. He’d rushed over immediately to both of them hoping they were alive, but prepared for the worst.
On finding them dead he thought of Spike and his predicament, he felt guilty for his thoughts, but he was only being practical he assured his conscience. He didn’t think Spike could drink from them as the blood would be tainted, so he dragged them both up the beach and dug as big a hole as he could to bury them in.
One was a chid of about 6, a little girl, the other a young man of about 20. Xander had seen a lot of death in his travels but this was different, they just looked to be asleep. The deaths he had seen had usually been brutal and bloody, and it saddened him as he shovelled the sand onto their faces over their sightless eyes with his bare hands. He picked up his firewood and walked slowly back to the cave where Spike was impatiently waiting.

“You went out of sight pet, I was worried you might have gotten hurt” were the words that greeted him on his arrival.
“Nothing to hurt me, just dead people” he told Spike despondently.
“Sorry luv. It was a bloody miracle we survived. Dunno how long we’ll be here, or even where here is - they should send out a search party, and unless we were off course we’ll be found in no time.” He didn’t hold out much hope of rescue, but he wasn’t going to tell the boy that.

Spike took the driftwood from Xander and heaped it on the floor of the cave. He hoped his Zippo still worked. He took it from his jeans pocket and flicked it open. The flame was bright in the gloom; he flicked it shut quickly, not knowing how many times they would need to use it before it ran out.
“You see much out there pet?” Xander basked in the familiar words of endearment, luv and pet, they made him feel wanted somehow, linked to someone else, it was nice, yeah definitely nice!
“Stuff washed up from the wreck, no living people and didn’t seen much else cause I stayed close even tho you couldn’t see me. We can go out and forage once the sun sets. That suit you?”
“Fine by me luv. You not hungry yet?”
“Taught my stomach to be patient when I was out in the desert. It’ll get fed when I find something, not until.” He told a surprised Spike.
“What we gonna do till the sun goes down then luv?”
“Well Spike my cool bodied buddy, dunno bout you but I plan on catching a bit of sleep in the sun.” he said with a wink and a smile.
“Fine by me pet, as long as you share the warmth when you come in” his voice almost dripped honey. Xander swallowed the lump in his throat and blushed, heat suffusing his face, neck and chest.
“Or perhaps share some warmth now?” Spike asked coyly.
“Don’t.” was all Xander softly said as he turned and walked into the sunlight, knowing out there he couldn’t be reached by Spike. He knew he felt more than friendship for Spike, had know for a long time where his proclivities lay, and Spike being all flirty was not doing him any good. Sure he’d be more than happy to share his warmth, but would Spike really want that from him? Was he just being his usual provocative self? He wasn’t sure and didn’t want to upset the applecart if he didn’t have to. He knew Spike was teasing, he’d always liked to get a rise, Xander just hoped Spike hadn’t smelled the kind of rise he’d gotten!
He moved out of range of the cave entrance and stripped off his pants so that he could lay naked against the sand. It was something he hadn’t done in a long time and he loved to feel the heat of the sand against his skin. It was far too hot and dangerous to do in the desert, but on a deserted beach, no problem, plus no prying eyes.

The thought of sharing body heat was still on his mind and if he wasn’t careful little Xan might just catch a bit too much sun standing proud for all to see! He smiled and held on to his cock, gently rubbing himself until he couldn’t do gentle any more and roughly pulled himself off to thoughts of being wrapped in Spike’s arms with his cock up his ass.
Now completely spent he fell asleep and was still dead to the world when Spike emerged from the cave, frantic that Xander hadn’t returned. He inhaled the night air scenting Xander and heading quickly in his direction.
He could tell he was sleeping even before he saw him.
What a lovely sight he was, still bathed in a pink glow from the dying rays of the sun which had just dipped below the horizon. Hand wrapped around his cock, dried spunk covering it. No wonder the kid was still sleeping. Spike wanted to touch him but daren’t. He didn’t want to startle him, but by god, he wanted to touch! He backed off a ways and shouted of Xander, give the kid some dignity he thought, he knew he wouldn’t want to be found by him like that, kid’d be mortified!

Xander woke to Spike’s shout. He stood waiting for Spike, rubbing the dried spunk from his hand and cock, which was how Spike found him (again).
“Now, still want some body heat?” Xander asked an incredulous Spike who belatedly realised his boy wasn’t really a boy any more, he was all grown up. He nodded dumbly and walked within range of Xander. He could feel the heat coming from him without even touching him and as he raised his hands and ran them over Xander he felt as if he’d been burned, his skin was so deliciously hot.
Xander shivered under Spike’s touch; was this what he’d been missing all these years? It felt so good and so right and he’d probably cum again just from Spike stroking him.
“I think I can feel hiccoughs coming on again, you wanna give me another shock?”
Spike pulled the unresisting body to him, feeling the hardness of Xander’s erection as he leaned in to kiss him. The first time had been enjoyable but this was bliss, as Xander kissed him back and ground his naked cock against Spike’s denim covered bulge. He whimpered into Spike’s mouth, all hot and needy, his hands under Spike’s t shirt, almost frantic, not knowing where to touch first, his hands fell to Spike’s jeans, popped the button and slid down the zipper, his hands dived down wrapping round the column of cool hard flesh. He groaned and Spike smiled into his kiss.

Xander pushed Spike’s jeans down giving him easier access, he caressed his cock with one hand and fondled his heavy balls with the other. It was Spike’s turn to groan now as he pushed into Xander’s fist, his own hand reaching for Xander, thumb swiping across the leaking tip, he wiped the moisture around the head of his cock making Xander shudder in pleasure. He moved Xander’s finger’s from around his cock, wrapping his hand around himself and Xander, making a tight fist for them both to thrust into. Xander’s hand crept from Spike’s balls and squeezed his hard buttock, fingers moving further to the crack of his ass, he ran them gently up and down, not forcing them into where he wanted to go, where he wanted Spike’s fingers to go on him; it made Spike increase the tempo, made Xander moan and quiver, made them both bathe themselves in cum, lips never leaving each other as they kissed passionately through their joint orgasm.

The kiss became gentle and less demanding, a hand moving off sticky cocks, another moving up around a waist, both pulling each other closer. Xander had never known it could be like this. Sure he’d enjoyed a good fuck with a guy, in fact more guys than girls of late, but this, this had been spectacular, and it was just jerking off! Spike extricated himself from Xander’s mouth and gave little kisses all around his face, down his neck, back to nibble his earlobe, kissed his closed eyelid and then kissed around his eye patch, once more down to his neck where he rested and inhaled the salty Xandery smell of his now lover.

“Spike, what was that?” he asked hesitantly.
“That, love was coming home.”
”What do I get for staying home?”
“Much more than that love, so much more.”
“Then I don’t think I’ll ever leave, you’ll have to throw me out.”
“Won’t ever do that pet, once you’re home that’s where you stay.”
”Are we speaking in metaphors for a reason?”
“Not that I can think of.”
“OK then. Cause I can only think of ‘come in the back door’, which is really bad, so - Will you fuck me?”
“Since when did you get so direct and so gay?”
“Never wanted something so bad before, plus bi here, still do girls, occasionally!”
“Not now y’don’t. Want it bad do ya love?”
“Very, very badly. Give it to me?”
“Demanding little sod! Don’t wanna hurt ya pet, might give meself a pretty bad headache.”
“No worries.” Xander told him as he scooped up the cold cum from between them. He knelt on the still warm sand and pushed a cum covered finger up his ass, massaged his muscles, more spend and a second finger went in as he stretched, he went deep into himself, fingers brushing the unseen bundle of nerve endings giving himself a little jot of pleasure. Spike watched in fascination as Xander prepped himself, obviously enjoying it no end, so much so that Spike wanted to join in the fun.
“Xan, you think it’d hurt if I did that?” Xander’s cock gave a surge at the thought of it.
“No, wouldn’t hurt, you sure you wanna?”
“Bloody hell pet, shift yer mitts!” Spike ordered as he too coated his fingers in cum.
“Three alright Xan?”
“Fuck me already will you?” Spike pushed three fingers into Xander who slammed back against his hand, babbling incoherently in pleasure, pulling himself backwards and forwards on Spike’s digits.
“Spike, for the love of god, do me please, now, before I pass out from lust!”

Spike knelt behind him and slid his fingers out, coated his cock in their mixed spend, lined up and pushed the blunt head of his cock slowly into Xander. It was a good tight fit, no pain for Xander and none for him, he slid slowly home listening to Xander’s dirty needy babble. He held onto Xander’s hips, fingers digging in as he ground his pelvis against his arse.
“Xander, listen to me” he whispered, making Xander strain to catch the words.
“I am gonna fuck you till you scream my name, then I’m gonna fuck you some more.” As he finished speaking Spike pulled out and then slammed back into Xander’s arse, riding him roughly, pounding into him, Xander begging all the time for deeper, harder, more, oh god please, oh god, and then he did scream out Spike’s name when he came deep within him, Spike’s hand stripping his cock Xander cumming a nano-second later, hot seed spurting into the sand. They lay panting, Spike on top of Xander, his head resting on Xander’s warm sweaty shoulder.
“You know I’ll never let you go now pet don’t you?”
“Think I’m a keeper do you?”
“Much more than that love.”
“You gonna keep your promise?”
“What promise pet?”
“You gonna fuck me some more now I screamed your name?” Spike laughed against Xander’s warm shoulder and started to move within him again.
“I could fuck you all night love, if you’d let me!”
“My very own vampire sex toy, how lucky can a guy get?”
“Lucky enough to find a way back to civilisation?”
“Do me some more and we’ll see how that luck goes” Xander chuckled.

Spike pulled all the way out of Xander and flipped him over. Xander lost the happy look from his face as Spike stared intently at him.
“Xander Harris, I never thought! Xander, love” he stroked his fingers against Xander’s stubbly cheek and dropped a gentle kiss on his mouth. Xander was baffled, Spike had been moving inside him then all of a sudden he was Mr Intensely Weird. Could it be that he possibly felt something for him? Nah, he couldn’t get that lucky, ever! He could live with being a comfort fuck, a buddy, he’d have to wouldn’t he? It wasn’t what he wanted, but sometime you just had to settle. Now he knew Spike was his missing piece, he wanted Spike to have meant what he’d just told him that he’d never let him go. Xander knew he’d never been lucky in love and was now ever the pessimist. But it was good, what they’d just done, had never been this good, not even with Ahn had it felt so right. It was a shame it was all on his side.
“Xander?”
“Huh?”
“You’d gone. Come back please?” Something else strange, Spike never said please, it was a word he never used, like the Fonz and sorry!
“Tell me what’s wrong Spike. Why’d you stop?”
“Nothing pet. Everything’s good. You’re good, I’m good. We’re good. I like you Xander, I like you a lot. Could you like me?”
Xander didn’t think he’d had so many shocks in such a short space of time. Now this, Spike being open and honest, it was troubling to say the least, but he’d said he liked him, a lot, which in his mind meant only one thing. Like + a lot = the other ‘l’ word. He wasn’t even going to think it – yet. Maybe things could work out after all, maybe this time his luck would change.

“I do Spike, more than like. I don’t go round giving my ass to any stray vamp, or many humans for that matter! The past year or so it’s just been a release, a body to connect with, there’s been nobody since Ahn, nobody - y’know, special. Then there’s you. You’ve always been special, I just didn’t always know it. Now I do. Does that answer your question?”
“Completely. Now we’ve done the talking we can get back with the fucking!”

4.
They shagged happily through the night and then had a rinse off in the sea. Spike decided to be all Alpha Vamp and bring home the bacon for his lover. The bacon being a handful of respectably sized fish and a couple of coconuts he’d found. They cooked the fish on the fire in the cave after the sun came up so Xander supposed it was breakfast. Spike managed to put a hole in the coconut so he had something to wash the fish down. Xander looked at Spike, really looked at him and thought he looked gaunt. He’d always been thin, but now?
“When did you last feed Spike?”
“Told ya pet, you’re safe, no worries!”
”That wasn’t what I asked. When exactly did you last have some blood?” Spike heaved a sigh, no point lying to him.
“Just over a week ago, found somebody with a bit of a gaping bullet hole that was nearly dead and so drained most of him. Pickings not too bad out here, lots of death” Spike took an un-needed breath and went off on one.
“I fuckin hate it Xan, hate being chained, like a fucking dog who has to beg for scraps. Had to get away, saw a witch Doctor before I got on board the ship, didn’t have a chance to try out if what he did had worked, felt like shit, then I thought I was goin’ barmy cause I could smell you and didn’t know it was you, and now we’re here and I’m not gonna bite you!”
“You sure as fuck are gonna bite me! Stupid vampire. You Robinson me Friday. You won’t bite I’ll just make a nasty cut you’ll have to lick clean. Do I make myself clear?”
”As crystal, but I don’t like it. You cut, I’ll suck, deal?”
“Deal. Gotta knife or something sharp – other than your wit!!” Spike couldn’t help but smile, the boy was such a generous soul and he always made light of the most serious of situations. He held out his prized possession, his cut throat. He showed Xander the best place to cut, where it would hurt the least and the blood would flow more freely. He ran the razor over his skin, the blood welling to the surface, all dark, rich and intoxicating; Spike practically salivated as he bent to Xander’s bloodied flesh and drank.

The thing with blood is that to a vampire, if freely given tastes so different to that of a terrified man or woman about to die. Freely given blood is like a magic potion, it does allsorts, its restorative qualities are second to none, it creates a bond between giver and receiver, it also allows the drinker to go much longer before having to feed again, and it doesn’t have to be ingested in vast quantities, a few drops will suffice. Spike took about a pint before he realised and stopped himself. He licked at the wound stemming the blood flow until it stopped altogether.

“I never knew it could be so erotic. That was really – wow!”
“Yeah it was wasn’t it? You’ve given me something very precious Xander and I can never repay that gift.” Spike felt better than he had in years – literally.
”Don’t expect you to, gave it freely, no payment required. It has given me the hard on of all time though, so if you want we could ??????”
”Yeah love, we can and we will!”
So, they did.

5.
Later in the afternoon Xander decided to go for a little explore, after all they seemed to be on the tip of the island, or else it was a headland, either way he was going to find out. He left Spike sleeping in the cave and walked along the beach. He’d gone about a half mile and rounded a corner. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Away in the distance was a large town or a city, shimmering thru the haze of heat, he could see the curve of sand going all the way round to meet it. It couldn’t have been far away. An easy walk for them both tonight then, shame he had no money, credit card or even ID, but if he went to the US or British embassy he was sure he’d be OK. He sauntered back along the beach trying to think of how to tell Spike they weren’t lost after all. Still, it had been a nice little adventure while it lasted. He hoped when they got back to civilisation things would go on as they were, but, you never knew. One thing he’d definitely miss was walking around naked in the tropical sun.

Spike was sleeping by the fire, so he stoked it up then snuggled down behind him letting him have warmth on his back too. He loved the feel of Spike’s smooth skin, he could stroke it all day with his hard calloused hands. Most of all though he loved to feel Spike’s hands in his, they were small and delicate but could crush the life out of him too, he liked that, knowing how strong they were, knowing too that they wouldn’t hurt him. Well, he hoped they wouldn’t! Spike stirred and turned into Xander.
“Somebody been out in the sun?”
Somebody has found a way home for us too!” Spike stiffened. He didn’t want to go home, he didn’t really have one. The first place he had called home in a very long time was right here, keeping his back warm.
“Spike? What is it? Tell me Mr Stiffbody!”
“It’ll be different. I don’t want to leave here, I don’t want you to leave me, I don’t want to share you, I just – don’t.”
Xander sighed, if truth be told he didn’t want to leave here either. He wanted to stay snuggled up with Spike for as long as possible, for the foreseeable future in fact, so he told him so.
Spike felt a little relieved after Xander’s confession, but still wasn’t happy. Eventually the night crept up on them and they threw sand on the dying embers of the fire, Xander reluctantly put his clothes on, reached silently for Spike’s hand and they walked together to the town Xander had seen earlier.

Xander had been correct. He called in at The US consulate, said he’d been on the ferry that sank, said who he was, had it confirmed that he was telling the truth, was supplied with a new emergency passport given $200 worth of Sudanese currency and sent on his way. He found Spike loitering at the consulate gates told him they were in Port Sudan and dragged him off to find a hotel for the night.

Xander was looking forward to a bath more than anything.

Spike wasn’t looking forward to anything.

He wanted to be back on his own private beach with his own sex kitten, his own love. Now he finally admitted that that was what he was, his love. Would he laugh if he told him? Would he feel the same? All this commitment bollocks was too much. He might just have to club Xander and drag him back off cavespike style.
Xander found a suitable hotel and booked them into the best double room they had, which luckily only cost him the equivalent of $50, so plenty to spare. Once inside the room Xander didn’t hesitate finding the bathroom and running himself a bath. It had only been a couple of nights but he could feel the salt sticking to his skin and making him itch, plus he now realised he was practically dying of thirst. He headed to the mini bar to find everything but water, and he knew that to drink from the tap was a big no-no. He dithered, bath first or drink? In the end Spike snatched some money from his hand and went down to the foyer and bought a couple of litres of water for him to drink.

Once back in the room Spike could hear Xander singing some dreadful country song about a dog dying and crops failing and he felt he had no option but to go into the bathroom and distract him. He sauntered in and leaned against the door.
“You sound happy love, shite song, but well, whatever rings yer bell I s’pose.”
“I am happy Spike, here I am in a real bath with hot water, I’m still alive and I have a very beautiful lover standing watching me, hopefully wanting me!” he told him, big beaming smile covering his face.
How could Spike feel miserable when that smile was directed solely at him?
“I do want you pet. Hurry up and get out the bath so I can get in, smallest bloody bath I’ve ever seen, surprised you can get so much of you in it!” Xander laughed, dipped his head under the water, feet and legs hanging over the end by miles then pushed himself up to stand dripping but clean. He pulled the plug, got out and bent over the bath to swill it clean.
“You did that on purpose didn’t you?”
“What?” was the innocent reply, but then Xander couldn’t help the big smile that lit his face once more.
“It’s yours, y’know, when ever you want it” he told him quite seriously.
“Get dry pet, and go get a drink of water, it’s by the bed.” Xander had a funny feeling things were not as they should be. Spike should have taken him over the tub, no question, but he hadn’t, what was wrong? Maybe he didn’t want him after all; maybe he had just been convenient. Things were often different in the cold light if day. He picked up one of the towels and absently dried himself off as he wandered thru to the bedroom and flung himself on the bed. Fuck it all, he wasn’t going to stand for this. He wanted Spike, he’d fallen in love with him, their connection was perfect on every level and he wasn’t going to stand idly by and let Spike go. He waited for his vampire to finish his bath, simmering gently, trying to think coherently about what he was going to say.

He heard the bath drain and Spike came out in a cloud of steam, rubbing his hair vigorously, leaving it in cute little tufts. Xander realised he really and truly did love him. Spike glanced over at him and saw that resolve face. Bollocks he thought, what now, can I feel any bloody worse? He probably won’t want to know me now and will want rid of me like yesterday.
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what’? Spike I need to tell you something. Will you come and sit with me?” Spike walked over as naked as his lover and sat on the edge of the bed not looking at Xander.
“Will you look at me? Spike, please?” Spike felt like a shit, so he looked at Xander and saw something he didn’t think he’d see.

Worry.

Xander took a deep fortifying breath and then just ran with it.
“Spike, first, thanks for saving my ass, second, thanks for filling my ass, third my ass misses you already, and lastly but probably most importantly if you go I’ll miss you and I don’t wanna miss you, I never want to miss you again, cause well, I realise, that I kinda feel like maybe I could actually be like in love with you, probably, so - what I’m saying is - stay with me, please?”
Spike felt sure that in amongst the babble he’d heard Xander say he loved him, better get confirmation tho.
“You love me?” Nothing like the direct approach.
“Yeah. Got a problem with that?”
“Should I?”
“No, you shouldn’t.”
“Good, cause I don’t.” Spike took a much needed breath before he went on and bared his soul. “I was afraid Xan, that when you got back to all this you’d find you didn’t want me, cause I want you pet, and I don’t want to let you go either. And the love thing? Goes for me too. So, question is where do we go from here?”
Xander beamed his 100 watt smile again.
“I don’t care where we go as long as we go together. I know that sounds real girlie, but I honestly don’t give a shit!”
“Me neither love, wanna celebrate?”
“Oooh, what sort of celebration did you have in mind Robinson?”
“One that’s gonna last all night and most of tomorrow if you’re up for it Friday!!?”
“We gonna stay lost a bit longer then?”
“I’d stay lost forever with you pet”
“Promise?”
“Cross my unbeating heart love!”
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