bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,
bmblbee
bmblbee
bloodclaim

The Legend

Title: Legend of the Cock-ness monster 1/6

Author: BmblBee
Paring: Spike/Xander
Rating: Adult for language and activity
Summary: This is the S/X from the holiday stories.
Working for the Council, they are sent on assignments
that require their special talents. In truth they are less
interested in anything other than each other.
Comedy.
Disclaimer: I Own none of the characters in this story
and make no money off any of it.
Warnings: Bad language. Bad activities. m/m/monster.
Additional warnings: May be offensive to citizens of Scotland.
To them I say "oops, sorry"





Spike lay motionless. An amazing feat for the hyperactive
vampire but something he knew he must do. This was too important.
It was something he and his love, his consort, his Xander, had
discussed for days. Hard as it was, Spike knew what was
expected of him and he wouldn't let Xander down.

Xander stood thoughtfully, dressed in a knee length white lab
coat, a pair of black, horn rimmed glasses perched on his nose.
He had greased his hair and parted it, nerdlike, right down the
middle, allowing the sides to flop limply, framing his face.

Standing at the foot of the kitchen table, Xander examined the
naked body of the apparently lifeless vampire stretched out
before him.

With his hands clasped behind his back and his head down, Xander
began to walk, circling the platform, the alter, that held his latest
monstrous experiment.

"This shall be my greatest achievement. When the world speaks
of this, and they will, they shall say what an amazing scientific
accomplishment Dr. Harristien has made. He has restored life to this
dead, discarded, useless vessel."

Despite his best effort, Spike's brow crinkled slightly in offense at
the useless part. He'd show the good doctor useless.

Standing at the side of the kitchen table, Xander flung his arms
out wide and threw his head back, laughing manically.

"All the members of the medical community who scorned me shall
bow down to me. They shall worship me when I parade my monster
in front of them naked, hard and horny, and let them beg!
I will never allow them to touch the magnificence that is the
monster's cock. It is mine! Mine, I tell you!"

Spike sighed and almost unseen, tapped the fingers of his left hand
on the cold surface of the table. His ass was freezing and his hard
on was starting to think it may never be warm and squeezed again.

He wished the fuckin' good doctor would just get the hell on with it.
Knowing Xander could drone on and on once he got into character,
Spike decided it was time to step up this experiment a tad.

"They will regret all the times they called me knuckelhead, moron and
sex fiend. O.k. maybe the last one........"

"Ahem"

Xander stopped. He glanced down at the impatient body on his slab
and realized he had somehow gotten off track.

"Oops, sorry." Immediately he pushed the specs back up his nose and
resumed his characterization of the mad scientist.

"ON WITH THE EXPERIMENT!"

Xander turned his back to the Frankenspike on the table and missed the
grin that popped up and disappeared in a flash.
Spike wiggled his butt slightly getting ready for what he just knew would
be the fuck of the century. Of course, with Xander, they were all fucks
of the century.
According to his calculations they were somewhere in the year 4545.

Dramatically, Xander pulled on the huge, blue flowered, rubber
gardening gloves. He grabbed the toaster from the crumb covered counter
and set it next to Frankenspike's head, careful not to touch the pre frayed
cord.

Frankenspike's cock twitched expectantly.

Holding Frankenspike's arm high in the air, Xander flopped the
limp fingers dramatically back and forth.

"LET THE LIFE GIVING BEGIN!!

Grabbing the monster's wrist, Dr. Harristien wrapped it around the
exposed wires of the toaster. The result was immediate.

Frankenspike's eyes popped open and his hair flew up into wild,
frazzled tufts on the top of his head as his previously lifeless
body now jerked with wild spasms.

"AWK!"

Ripping open the lab coat caused a shower of buttons to spray the room
exposing the naked body of the erect mad scientist.

"HE'S ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE!"

"NNNNOOOOOO! Xxxxxxaaaannnnddddeeerrrrr! Dooooon't doooo it!"

Too far gone with the success of his medical experiment and wondering briefly
where in the apartment he would display his Nobel Prize for Scientific
Advancement, Xander leaped to the table and straddled the monster.

Luckily the patron saint of sexual fuckups was, as always, looking out
for Xander. At the very second he plunged his pre lubed ass hole
down over the slightly smoking cock of his restored creation, the
electrical outlet on the wall fizzled, snapped, and exploded,
plunging the apartment, as well as the entire city block, into darkness.

Now able to release his iron grip on the toaster that had nearly electrocuted
him, Frankenspike clutched the hips of his master and happily held on as the
mad scientist rode the sensitive, charged cock to completion.

Within minutes both men had come so hard their teeth rattled, although
to be fair, Frankenspike's were a bit clenched already. Xander smiled
goofily when he noticed Frankenspike's cum was several degrees
warmer than usual. and his own had shot bullets onto Frankenspike's
chin.

Xander crumbled happily, still connected at the ass, on top of the quivering,
spasming vampire.

"Wow, that was great. We'll have to do that one again."

Before Spike could pry his mouth open to comment, the phone ran.

Easing himself off, Xander wagged his eyebrows and grabbed the
cordless off the floor, trying not to trip over anything in the dark.

"I'll get that. You just relax. The doctor may want to do a follow-up
exam later."

Spike turned his head and weakly reached out to stop Xander.
He knew whoever was calling would ruin the rest of their evening.
Sadly and still unable to speak without biting his tongue, Spike listened
in on Xander's half of the conversation.

"Hello? Oh, Hey Giles. Blackout? Nope. We don't know anything about
a blackout. Nope, not us. We were just sitting here in the kitchen.
Just enjoying a little toast. So if that's the only reason you called.........
WHAT? An assisgnment? Hell yes we want an assignment.
No, I promise that will never happen again. I don't even own a
weed wacker anymore. Nope, threw away the rectal thermometer.
Oh, come on Giles, huckleberries are totally out of season.
Yes. Yes. Sure. No problem. We can do that easy. Thanks
Giles. We won't let you down. HEY! That was uncalled for.
O.k, bye."

Xander hung up the phone and with a wild look in his eyes, announced

"We're going to Scotland!"
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