bmblbee (bmblbee) wrote in bloodclaim,
bmblbee
bmblbee
bloodclaim

The Legend

Title: Legend of the Cock-ness monster 2/6

Author: BmblBee
Paring: Spike/Xander
Rating: Adult for language and activity
Summary: This is the S/X from the holiday stories.
Working for the Council, they are sent on assignments
that require their special talents. In truth they are less
interested in anything other than each other.
Comedy.
Disclaimer: I Own none of the characters in this story
and make no money off any of it.
Warnings: Bad language. Bad activities. m/m/monster.
Additional warnings: May be offensive to citizens of Scotland.
To them I say "oops, sorry"





Xander rushed off for the bedroom. Although Giles had told him
they would only be gone a day or two, he still wanted to pack a small
bag. There were certain things they would always need no matter
where, or how long, the trip lasted. Especially since Spike had
gotten Giles to revoke the "no sex while on assignment" rule.

Xander never did get an honest answer out of Spike or Giles as to why
he cancelled the seldom followed regulation, although Steven went into
a fit of giggles whenever Xander asked. He assumed it had something
to do with the heated argument between Spike and Giles that centered
on the logistical difference between extortion and black mail.

It was a disagreement Xander hadn't paid much attention to.
Intellectual discussions held no interest for him
Besides, he knew Spike would win. Spike always won.
Even when he was dead wrong.

"No, wait! Come back here you little shit!"
Spike attempted to fling his arms out to stop his boy from rushing off,
unfortunately his hands flopped like mackerel out of water as his body still
struggled to respond to his fried brain's commands.

After a shocking orgasm like that, all Spike wanted was a nap.
Then maybe an encore, if the damn power company fixed that
outage a little quicker this time. You would think for what those
people were paid they would be a little more on the job.

'Wankers'

Rolling over, he tried hopping down from the table only to find his
weak, wobbly legs unable to hold him. Clutching onto the edge of
Dr. Harristien's kitchen slab, Spike swayed and struggled to stand.

His hair, still spiked, frazzled and brittle, smelled like a cooked rabbit
that someone forgotten to skin. Spike scratched his head, whimpered,
and noted sadly a clump of burnt crispy hair that snapped off and fell
to the table, slowly, drifting down like a pigeon feather.

What 50 years of bleach had not accomplished, two seconds
of toaster did.

"Xan. Stop. Come back here. Don't you pack the good lube.
Goddamn it. I never agreed to go to Scotland. Xander! Xander!"

Staggering like a baby just learning to walk, Spike stumbled forward,
falling face first into the bedroom. Flipping over onto his back, he watched
with dismay as Xander zipped around the room, stepping over him
as he passed.

"Hey, this is no time for a nap. Get up off the floor. Wow, Babe.
You really need to look into a good conditioner for that hair."

By rolling over, Spike was able to firmly grip the door frame and
pull himself to stand on shaky legs.
"Well what the fuck did Giles say we were going for? What kind of
a demon is it and how the fuck do we kill it? Did you get any information
at all or are we just flying blind?"

Xander had stuffed everything he thought they might need into a backpack
and slung it over his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around Spike's waist
and, offering his support, helped him walk back into the livingroom.

"Actually we aren't flying at all. Giles says it's still too soon after that little
foot tapping, congressman arresting incident. Says the airport
has us blacklisted."

Xander shrugged.

"Gee, you wouldn't think they would evacuate a whole airport over something
as silly as that one little comment you made when they tried to arrest us.
Anyway, he is doing the vortex thingy again, but this time I'm ready."

Xander proudly waved a box of Dramamine in Spike's face then wedged
them into the zipper pouch in the front of the shoulder bag.

Stepping back to test himself, Spike was greatly relieved to see that his
legs were becoming steadier by the minute and the tingling in his fingers
and the flashing lights behind his eyes were both fading away.

"Demon, love. Demon? Weapons?"

Xander rushed around the living room knowing time was short.
Pushing the "repeat, record" button on his tivo, he assured
himself that when they returned, Torchwood would be waiting.

"Actually he wasn't real specific. He just said that one of the
witch trainees at the wicca had done a spell that went wrong
and someone needed to fix it. He said it was the perfect job
for us since I have expertise in dealing with a big dick head.
He never did say who that was. Who do you think he was
talking about?"

Spike preened at the thought that Giles was impressed with the
size of his dick, however he kept his pride to himself. No sense in making
Xander jealous. He did resolve, however, to make the effort the next
time they were in the Council headquarters to would flash his cock as
often as possible.
Poor hardworking Giles needed some joy in his tedious overworked
little life. Spike patted himself on the back for his philanthropy.

"Weapons, love?"

Xander reached for the front door, took on last look around and
stepped out on the porch to wait, Spike on his heels.

"Giles said someone would contact us as soon as we get there, but
he said this job would have to be done by hand. He actually
kind of snickered when...............AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

The world spun out from under their feet, falling away and disappearing
into a swirl of color. All sound and air appeared to be outside the
bubble they were trapped and confined in. The sight of time and space
spinning around them gripped Xander's stomach and threatened to
cause him to eurp up the motion sickness pills he had just swallowed.
Squeezing his eyes shut helped slightly.

Spike went limp. He knew from past experience that fighting it would
only make it worse. Reaching over, he grabbed Xander with one hand
and with a quick unzip, clutched his precious cock with the other.

Assuring himself that both his loves were safe, he relaxed and waited
to land.

Gradually, and with the fog still floating through his brain, Xander woke up.
Rolling to his side, he squinted his eyes open and noted with great relief
that Spike was sleeping beside him and still holding his hand.

He smiled when he saw Spike's other hand tucked wrist deep in the fly
of his jeans. It never failed to amaze him that someone as gruff as Spike
could be such a thoughtful boyfriend. Protecting his cock and keeping it
safe for Xander's pleasure was a move that warmed his heart and hardened
his dick.

Pulling himself to his hands and knees, Xander crawled, cat like over
to where his sleeping vampire had not yet roused. Easing Spike's hand
out of his pants, Xander popped the top button and opened the front
of the snug black denims till the vampire's cock flopped limply out into
Xander's waiting fingers.

Licking his lips, Xander knew they had a job to do, but what the hell.
He had to wake Spike up anyway, so why not this way.
Xander could come up with no logical reason, so he did the only
thing possible, he swallowed the limp, floppy, piece of Spike sausage
down to the root and waited for the countdown.

5. He felt it twitch on his tongue as it grew.
4. The head bumped the inside of his cheek
3. The underside vein pulsed and bulged.
2. He felt his lips stretch impossibly wide.
1. The head hit his tonsils. Three times in a row.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!
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