Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money, et cetera ad nauseum.
Notes: I went to a Passion Party last night; this is the result. Unbeta'd, and anyone who's ever gone to one of these things will know exactly where I got the title from. *g*
Spike was curled up on the couch watching Cops when he heard the front door open. "So what did Herself need you for this time, luv?" he asked without looking away from the TV. "And grab me a beer 'fore you sit down?"
When there was no answer he looked up to see Xander standing at the end of the couch, staring off into space. "Pet?" Still no response. "Xander?"
Xander finally turned to him, blinking. "The girls were having a…party," he said faintly.
"And we weren't invited?" Spike sat up indignantly. "What kind of crap is that?"
Xander collapsed onto the couch, still in his jacket. "It was a sex-toy party."
"A what?"
"It was like a Tupperware party, only with, with–"
"Sex toys."
Xander nodded slowly, obviously still in shock.
Spike tossed the remote on the table, making Xander jump. "Now I call that rude!" he said furiously. "You'd think if they were gonna invite one of us to a party like that, it'd be me! I'm the one with over a century of sexual experience! I could have a lot of fun at a party like that!" He broke off his rant when he noticed Xander had wrapped his arms around himself protectively. "What's got you so upset, anyway? I know you've seen stuff like that before, dragged you to the porn shop meself."
"You should have seen the size of those things!" Xander yelped, suddenly standing up and waving his arms. "They had ones with beads inside, and little animals that vibrated, and stuff that moved around, and some had lights, and–"
Spike grabbed his hands and pulled him back down. "Well, girls like that kinda thing, don't they? All fancy and cute." His brow wrinkled as a thought struck him. "But why'd they invite you, anyway? You're not a bird."
Xander shuddered. "They also had a range of…toys…for men. Willow asked me what I wanted for my birthday."
Spike leered. "So what did you get?"
"Spike!"
~fin