I'm kind of embarrassed that my first post here is a fic search, but never mind. This one's a fluffy, funny fic where gender stereotypes get switched and Xander and Spike cuddle a lot. Giles and Anya get together as well, and Buffy and Dawn get tanked. I know I've enjoyed the author's other works so she's probably a BNF - I am far too new to Buffy to have discovered hidden gems.
Speaking of, if there are any classic Spanders - things every slasher ought to read - can you rec them to me? Cheers.