~ someone taking Xander under their wing, but not in a romantic way
~ not necessarily abuse, but certainly recognizing the incompetance of his parents
~ hopefully romantic pairings in there somewhere, along with happy endings
~ preferrably slash, if not Spander
~ Xander himself as a father figure to kids who would have been in similar situations.
Also, does anyone know of a lj community that does Buffy recs? I'd like to crosspost this elsewheres, so strong is my craving.