Paring: What else? S/X of course.
Rating: Adult for language and M/M activity.
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to the Bee.
and she makes no money off them, or anything else. The Bee is broke.
Summary: The Rosebud Murders took an emotional toll on
everyone involved. Is love enough for a happily ever after or does
it take a hell of a lot of work and compromise to build a life together?
Spike and Xander struggle to find out.
Thanks to Petxnd for the lovely banner
No one moved as the standoff continued. Xander took the time to
absorb and read the conflicting emotions that poured from his lover
and knew he had caused everyone of them
His reluctance to be totally honest, despite his knowing better,
had bred suspicion, jealousy and insecurity in the one man
that he would have died before he hurt.
He watched as Raymond sadly drifted backward, fading and
disappearing away from his grandson and the stupid thing he was
about to do.
Xander's stomach tightened up.
The other's remained silent and unmoving, unsure if they should leave,
as directed, or stay and try to help their Xander. Andrew was the
first to decide. He stepped forward and took Xander by the hand.
"Don't you talk mean to Xander. We love him and we don't want
you to stay here if you are going to contaminate the vibration."
Spike turned on him with venom.
"Vibration? Vibration? Do me a favor and vibrate your ass right
out of here and take the rest of this freak show with you."
The air in the foyer disappeared as Willow, Tara, Andrew, and
involuntarily, Spike, gasp. No one had ever seen or heard Xander
angry. Certainly not like this. Sparks burned in his eyes and his
face flushed red.
"You don't speak to people like that! Apologize! Now!"
Spike was stunned. He was the wronged person here and Xander,
whom he apparently didn't know nearly as well as he had thought,
had the nerve to chastise him?
"How dare you! Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? I am not
your child and I will not be spoken to as if I were. You will NOT tell me
who to apologize to! I am NOT part of your circle of perversions, of
free love and hippie free thinking. I will NOT sit by while you fuck Tara,
Andrew, or Bozo the redheaded clown here. If that's what you're about,
no wonder you kept it a secret."
Willow's eyebrows shot up and she immediately checked her hair
for fuzzy split ends. Tara rushed to her side and grabbed her arm
holding on for shared security, her body trembling in fear.
Recognizing what was happening, Xander took hold of his emotions
and with Andrew's hand still tightly clasp in his own he led the three to
the front door.
"I'm sorry about all this. I can't tell you how much I appreciate
everything you did today. It's just wonderful. I think maybe you should
all go so Spike and I can talk."
Xander saw the reluctance in his girls eyes and felt the squeeze of his hand
"It's all right. I'll give you all a call tomorrow. Please?'
Three heads nodded and quickly the hustled around collecting together their
purses, jackets, and belongings before all hurrying silently out the door.
When they were gone, Xander turned back to the police officer that stood
angrily in his sitting room entry way.
"Look Spike, I know you're mad but can I at least explain?"
Spike crossed his arms, sealed his lips together in a tight line and lifted
his head. Xander took the fact that he was not storming out of the house
as a good sign and hurried to continue.
"I should have told you everything about the circle earlier, but I just wasn't
sure how you would take it. These people are all my friends. More
than that they are my family. Next to you they are the most important
people in the world to me."
The statement did little to pacify Spike. Instead it just confirmed what
he had been feeling. How could he know so little about the man
he loved? These people were Xander's world yet he had kept them
"So why all the secrecy? Are you ashamed of me? You didn't want
them to know about me? Or is it them? What exactly do you do with
this odd assortment of characters, Xander?"
Xander bristled but kept his temper in check.
"They are not..... "Characters". They are good people and, no, I'm not
ashamed of you. They all know about you. About us. I should have
told you earlier about the circle. I was wrong, but I want to tell you
now. Will you give five minutes to do that?"
Spike shifted his weight to his other foot. He didn't say yes, but he
didn't say no. Xander relaxed marginally and continued.
"The circle is six people. We meet to share our energy and to
help each other in advancement and encouragement. We all need spiritual
growth and evolvement, Spike and we share our individual talents to do that.
Andrew is like me. He is a empath and a clairvoyant, but he is also a
teenager. His hormones are in full bloom and he needs guidance. The
circle gains from his youthful, charged energy and we give him maturity and
focus. Tara is a medium. When she is in a trance she can channel specific
spirits. Willow is her reader. When Tara does a sitting, Willow gives her
the questions and records and directs her responses. They are also
wicca and have a deep understanding of the earth and elements. The
group gains from their love and powerful ability to direct the flow around
us. We give them love and support as we recognize them as one entity.
Gunilla is another member, one you haven't met yet. She is an automatic
writer. In a trance her spirit guide takes over and answering questions,
responds through her in writing. She gives the group her strength and
maturity and the circle tries to give her love, peace and serenity. Her
husband is our anchor. Although not psychic, he grounds us. He keeps
us centered and on task.during a reading. We offer him the reminder of
humanity and sensitivity although sometimes he can be a tough nut."
Xander paused, took a breath and noted the dour expression on Spike's
face was still firmly planted.
"So that's it. No sex. No orgies, although Gunilla might surprise us and
be a real firecracker, guess we'll never know."
Xander chuckled, hoping to break the tension I didn't work.
His voice quiet, Xander stepped closer.
"We cleaned the house. Tara and I scrubbed down the bedroom. I wanted
to surprise you. I wanted us to sleep there tonight."
Like a small sponge tossed into the ocean, Spike's brain could not absorb
any more information. It had filled up three minutes ago and all the excess
words coming out of Xander's mouth now just flowed through one ear and
out the other on a wave of incredulence.
"Jesus H. Christ, Xander. I knew you carved furniture I had no idea
you moonlighted with Barnum and Bailey. I don't know you at all do I?
Just who the fuck are you Xander?"
Xander reached out and touched Spike's arm gently.
"I'm the man that loves you."
Spike pulled back. It was all too much. It was too overwhelming.
"I'm sorry Xander. I can't do this. Not right now. Everything is caving
in on me and this is too much. I'll call you in a day or so but please,
give me some space, some time."
Spike turned his back on Xander. He collected his things from the table
and headed for the door. Jerking it open he was stopped in his tracks
by a short, round, heavily breasted woman with her hair in a bun
and a crock pot in her hands.
"Dis is da kraut. It is for da circle. You give to Xander, yes?"
It was clearly not a question as she roughly shoved it into Spike's
hands and without another word stomped back down the walk in
extremely sensible shoes.
Spike in turn handed the pot of smelly kraut and sausages to Xander.
Without another word, he walked away.