Title: Once More With Spander
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Disclaimer: I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters or music.
Warnings/Squicks: Spike dirtied up the songs he took over.
Summary: Spike and Xander take over the musical in own their Spander-ish way!
Notes: The songs are set up to the tunes of the original "Once More With Feeling" sound track. I'd also like to thank queen_jannah for the plot bunny. Buffyworld.com and Cowboylyrics.com for the lyrics. Would also like to thank kimalis for reading it. Also, thank you anyone else who reads it. I hope I didn't murder "Once More With Feeling" too badly.
No one noticed the music as they rush to get ready. Willow was late for class and she still had to drop Dawn off at school and Buffy at the temp agency. She was struggling to put on her make-up while Tara, already dressed and ready to go, was making the bed. She lifted the pillow to find a flower. She smiled at it and knew it was from Willow. She knew she’d have to get a pin for it later.
Dawn was banging on the bathroom door doing a twirly dance while Buffy was getting ready. She sat there staring at herself in the mirror a bit before opening the door. Her sister rushed past her and slammed the door closed as soon as Buffy stepped out it.
Spike nuzzled his pillow as he opened his eyes to see Xander getting out of bed. He stilled himself, pretending to be asleep still. Xander didn’t seem to notice the vampire was awake and laying in bed with his eyes open as he made his way to the bathroom to get ready for work. Spike sat up and watched the bathroom door close.
Anya tapped on the counter as she waited for Giles to switch the Closed sign to Open. Giles did it and the customers ambled in. Giles rolled his eyes at the excited look on Anya’s face and went into the backroom.
Spike was walking through the cemetery and heard music. He looked around with a questioning look. He felt strangely enough like singing.
“Every single night,
I lay beside him.
I don’t know if this is right.
Still, I can’t fight this feeling.
This stirring emotion.
This thing is love.
This can’t be right.”
He noticed vampires coming. He took out his stake.
“I’ve been taking it from him blow for blow.
Just hope no one knows
That I’m wondering if he loves me.
That I’m a bleeding heart.
That I like to penetrate his arse!”
He punched a vampire who seemed to be moving with the music. Spike used a tree to stake him, but more kept coming and he kept singing.
“I was depraved
And kind of raunchy.
Now I find I’m getting clean.
I think he’s kind of brave
And not just a git.
It shouldn’t mean a thing.”
He socked a vampire in the nose, “That was a great swing!”
Spike dusted him, “Thanks for noticing.”
The vampires started singing as well. Bloody Hell, he was fighting a chorus line.
“He does pretty well with fiends from Hell.
But lately we can tell.
He’s just wondering if he loves him.
It’s throwing off his game.”
One vampire that looked like he was from his old crew padded forward, “He’s not even half the demon he- shit…” Spike dusted him before he could finish.
“I know this won’t last forever.
He’ll grow old as life continues.”
He dusted the rest of the vampires and helped untie a woman who was attached to a nearby tree. Her hair began to blow in the wind.
“How can I repay-“
There was one last vampire in the cemetery. He started to spare with it.
“I don’t want to be
Wondering if he loves me.
Losing all my pride.
I can’t really see if this is really me.
I just want to feel”
He dusted the vampire.
Spike rushed into the Magic Box with a blanket over his head to see that everyone else was already in there. He looked at Xander who shifted away from him. No one knew they were living together. He sighed and threw off his blanket.
“Why do you always hang around my shop?” Giles wondered aloud.
Spike looked at Xander, “I’ve got my reasons.”
Buffy came into the shop a few minutes after Spike, she looked depressed. Everyone gave her a warmer greeting and Spike huffed to sit on the counter.
“How did the temp agency go?” Willow asked.
Buffy let out a long sigh, “Not good. They said they’d call, but I know they aren’t going to call.”
Xander walked up to her and offered her a doughnut, “Respect the cruller, tame the doughnut.”
Spike kind of sniggered, but no one else laughed. Anya went up to Xander and patted his shoulder.
“You can’t be funny all the time. I’m sure your next one will be better.”
“Anyone else have an embarrassing sing-along last night?” Spike asked finally.
“Oh, yeah.” Buffy said. “I sang about how there was nothing on the tv. It was riveting. What did you guys sing about?”
“Same,” Anya added a bit too quickly.
Xander blushed and edged further away from Spike, “Hot dogs. I did a little ditty about hot dogs. Nothing more than hot dogs.”
Willow blushed deeply and looked at Tara, “We sang about dishes and what to make for dinner. That’s all we sang about, we swear.”
“Dear lord, you’ll never ever get me to repeat what happened last night,” Giles said while he wiped his glassed.
All eyes turned to Spike who was being oddly quiet despite being the one to bring up the subject.
Spike shifted nervously, “I sang about killing things and the joys of killing things.”
“God, you’ll never change, Spike.” Buffy said a bit disgusted.
“Stop bickering, we need to work this out!” Willow exclaimed.
Giles took off his glasses and began to sing, “I’ve got a theory. It could vampires.”
Spike rolled his eyes, “Singing vampires? No, bloody Hell that isn’t right, yeah?”
“I’ve got a theory,” Willow sang. “It could be a demon and we’re all stuck in his crazy Broadway magic.” She and Tara did spirit fingers to emphasis her point.
“I’ve got a theory that we should work this out,” Xander sang.
Then everyone sang including Spike and Buffy, “It’s getting eerie. What’s this cheery singing all about?”
“It could be witches.” Xander sang and Willow narrowed her eyes at him. “Or a big bad.” Spike narrowed his eyes at him too. “Which would be silly because witches good and there was only one great big bad. And they were both treated unfairly and um, you know, I’ll be over there.”
Xander edged away until his back was on the bookcase behind him.
“Screw your theories. Bunnies are guilty!” Anya sang.
“I have a theory…” Tara began.
Anya interrupted her.
“Bunnies are evil and nobody knows it!
They got those floppy ears and twitchy little noses!
And what’s with all the carrots?
Why do they need such good eye sight?
It must be bunnies!”
There was silence, “Or maybe midgets.”
“I’ve got a theory that we should work this fast,” Willow sang quickly.
Giles and Willow sang at the same time, “Because this could get serious before it’s passed!”
They started to pull books and from the shelves to research. Buffy didn’t move.
“I’ve got a theory, it doesn’t matter.”
Everyone stopped and looked at her.
“What can’t we face if we’re together.
What’s in the place that we can’t weather?”
Spike interrupted her.
They’ll always be there.
There’s none we can skip.
We should care!”
Everyone except Spike started to sing, “What can’t we do if we do if we get in it? We’ll work it out within a minute.” Xander gave a pleading look to Spike and he reluctantly joined in. “We have to try. We’ll pay the price. It’s do or die.”
“Hey, I died twice!” Buffy sang.
They all started to sing again, “What can’t we face if we’re together? What’s in this place that we can’t weather? There’s nothing we can’t face.”
“Except for bunnies,” Anya sang quietly.
Spike went back to sitting on the counter, “This is why I don’t hang around with you Scoobies.”
“I have to agree with Spike,” Xander said. “That was disturbing.”
“Really?” Willow said. “I thought it was a bit neat.”
“But, what’s going on? What’s causing it?”
“I thought it didn’t matter, Slayer. That it was all the same.”
“Shut up, Spike.”
“I think he makes a good point,” Giles said.
“You’re ganging up on me! It’s nothing to make me quiver in my stylish boots, but when something magical like this happens, it’s not exactly a good thing.”
“But is it just us?” Anya asked.
Buffy looked at her then walked out the door. There was a chorus line crowded around one man and everyone was holding a dry cleaning shirt.
“They got the cum stain out!” He sang.
Buffy’s eyes widened and she quickly retreated back into the store.
“It’s not just us,” she said to them all.
Dawn came bursting into the Magic Box. She gave Xander then Spike a hug. They smiled at her and Xander ruffled her hair. She waved at the rest of the Scooby gang and bounced excitedly.
“Hey, nibblet.” Spike said. “What’s got your motor running?”
“You’ll never guess what happened at school today.”
“Everybody started singing and dancing?” Buffy said looking up from her research book.
Dawn frowned obviously disappointed, “No, I gave birth to a space alien and it killed everyone.”
“Oh my God,” Anya said. “Did it sing?”
Spike rolled his eyes.
“So you guys too?”
“What’d you sing about, Dawnster?” Xander said curiously.
She sighed heavily, “Math.”
She put her backpack down and went to sit on the counter. Xander grabbed a necklace off it before she could sit on it and shoved it hastily into is pocket. She was about to ask him what that was all about before Tara and Willow interrupted.
“Th-That’s right! We need that vol-volume! The text!” Tara exclaimed.
“What text,” Giles asked.
“The volume-y text.” Willow said nervously. “You know, the report.”
Xander looked at her funny, “The what now?”
“Oh, there’s just a few volumes at home about mystical chants that might be relevant,” Tara said.
“It could…” Willow said.
“I’ve started researching about evil rabbits; I think anything else would be good right now.”
“Great!” Willow said getting up and tugging Tara with her towards the door. “We’ll call you if we need anything!”
“Or if you need anything!”
Willow gave Tara look before dragging her out the door.
“I don’t think there really is a book about magical chants at their house,” Xander huffed.
“There might be one at my crypt,” Spike offered.
Xander raised an eyebrow then it dawned on him, “Oooooh! Yeah, I think I remember reading it. Grab you blanket and we can go check that out. You know, right away. Like, right now.”
“You guys have been spending a lot of time together,” Buffy said. “What have you two been doing together?”
“We’ve been…” Xander glared at Spike warning him not to go there. “We’ve been singing. Singing together and practicing our singing. You know, if we left right now, we could be singing at my crypt or your flat. Makes no difference to me where we sing.”
“Oh!” Dawn said with a smile. “I get it!”
Xander grabbed Spike’s blanket and tossed it to him.
“You don’t get anything, Dawn. There is no getting.”
Spike put his blanket over his head, “Bye, nibblet.”
“Bye, Spike! Bye, Xander!”
Spike took a deep breath and rushed out the door into the daylight. Xander followed behind him. Buffy looked at Dawn confused.
“What did they mean by singing?”
“All this singing is romantic, don’t you think?”
“No! It’s annoying!” Buffy buried her nose back into her book.
“Do you want waffles, baby?” Xander asked Spike who was lying in bed next to him.
“Don’t you have work or something?”
“Nah, I shut down the crew for today. I didn’t want them dancing around the site. Not only is it a liability, but the flab will make you go blind.” He kissed his cheek. “So, waffles? I’ll let you pour blood on them.”
Xander continued to talk while Spike sang.
“Here is the man that I resist to strangle.
Isn’t he divine?
My claim to fame was to drain and to mangle.
Eternity was mine.
Now I’m chipped.
The life I have, I’d give for him.
The only trouble is...”
He shook his head, “I’ll never tell.”
Spike got up to get his cigarettes. Spike was only wearing jeans as he crossed in front of Xander who was wearing his green silk pajamas.
“He’s the one.
He’s such wonderful fun.
Such passion and grace.”
Spike came back to sit on the bed. He lit a cigarette and began smoking with a tiny ashtray balanced on his knee.
“Warm through the night when I right in his tight-
Embrace! Tight embrace!”
Xander hugged Spike who gave him an odd look before taking a long drag of his cigarette and stubbing it out in the tray, which he then put on the bedside tabl
“I’ll never let him go.
The love we know must show.
There’s just one thing that – no.
I’ll never tell.”
They looked at each other, “Because there’s nothing to tell.”
They got up and started to go into the kitchen.
“He gropes,” Spike sang.
“Say ‘I love you’ and he freezes.”
Xander walked over to the sink and looked at one of the blood stained mugs. Spike sat at the table and grabbed the paper
“He leaves behind these skeezy dishes that I can’t describe.”
Xander started to wash the dishes.
“I wank, it doesn’t please him.”
“Through sex he always breezes.”
“His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!”
Xander slammed the cup back into sink and turned his attention to the nonchalant vampire who had now put his feet up on the table. Spike looked at him and got up.
“This vibe is kind of scary,” They sang together.
“Like does he think I’m ordinary,” Xander sang.
“Like this is all just temporary.”
“Like his downstairs is really hairy.”
They fake smiled at each other and sang, “But, it’s all very well. ‘Cause God knows I’ll never tell.”
Xander sat in down in the chair that previously held Spike and grabbed Spike’s paper.
“When things get rough,
He accuses me of loving Buffy.”
Xander looked at him and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Look he’s getting huffy,
He thinks that he knows.”
Xander put down his paper and got up.
He’s also very schemey.
“His eyes are really beady!” Spike interrupted him.
“This is my verse, Hello! He -”
Spike pulled out his guitar and started to strum away.
“Hey look, I’m strumming crazy.”
Xander took away his guitar and they started to dance together.
They looked at each other, “You know…”
“You’re quiet the charmer,” Xander sang.
“My leather-clad lover.”
Xander turned and wrapped his arms around Spike’s waist.
“You’re as sexy as a fox
With your eyes so mesmerizing
And your hard yet firm-
They started to dance again. Spike was surprising good at tap dancing. Spike leaned into Xander’s chest. Xander wrapped his arms around his waist.
“He’s swell,” Spike sang.
“He’ll always be my feller.”
“That’s why I’ll never him that I’m petrified.”
“I’ve read this tale.
There’s a last breath then betrayal.
I know there’ll be a day where I’ll need to die.”
He twirled around to face Xander in the embrace. They sang to each other.
I said it’s easy.
But I’ve got these fears I can’t quell.”
They turned around and pressed their backs against each other.
“Am I his pot of gold?” Spike sang.
“Will he stay with me when I get old?”
“Will he leave me for some prissy when realizes all he’s missing?”
“When I’m worn and gray and he still looks the same!”
They turned back towards each other and started to slow dance with each other.
“Am I crazy?” Xander sang.
“Am I dreaming?”
“Am I having sex with a demon?”
They pulled apart and did a jump kick as they leaned against the table.
“We could raise the bar on pairings from Hell!
So, thank God I’ll never tell.
I swear I’ll never tell.”
They started to walk into living room area.
“My lips are sealed,” Spike sang.
“I plead the Fifth!”
“Nothing to see.
Move it along.”
They both sang, “I’ll never tell!”
They fell back into the couch and started laughing.
“This must be stopped!” Xander complained as he walked with Giles.
“It’s a nightmare!” Anya agreed.
“It’s not a nightmare! It’s a plague! Some sick disease!”
“Yes! It was like we were being watched!”
“I didn’t want to say anything of those things to Sp… Spiffen. Yes, I didn’t want to say any of that to Spiffen, but I said it anyway!”
“It was like there was a wall missing! A very important wall! It was like the fourth wall was missing and everyone was looking in!”
“Everything just kept pouring out! Then when the song was over he grabbed his bl… blallet and rushed out the door without even a word to me.”
“It was a very good song but I didn’t think Buffy’s bedroom was a very appropriate place for a song and dance number.”
“Wait, why were you in Buffy’s bedroom?”
“Because it rhymed with head room?”
“Oh don’t get me started on the rhyming! I don’t ever want to rhyme that much again!”
“My toes aren’t hairy.”
“And my eyes aren’t beady!”
They stopped talking and looked expectedly at Giles. He took off his glasses and cleaned them.
“What do expect me to do about it?”
“Fix it!” Xander said while flailing his arms around.
“I have a few leads but-“
“I was quite happy with our number though. It had pop hit written all over it,” Anya said.
“Anya, don’t interrupt Giles while he’s tell me how to stop the singing. I bet I need to kill something. Show me where to point my axe.”
They were cut off by a woman singing.
“I’m telling you please no!
This isn’t right, this isn’t fair!
I thought I remembered underwear!
That breeze came from nowhere!”
The cop handed her a ticket.
“Why can’t you let this go?
If I offered would you dare?”
Xander, Anya, and Giles walked past her as if they didn’t see her.
“You mean burnt up? As in set on fire? That’s nuts!” Xander exclaimed.
“If I had to listen to any more of Buffy singing, I would have started looking for a gas can.”
“Emotions are running high,” Giles said. “But the deaths were caused by spontaneous combustion.” Xander gave him an odd look. “For Heaven’s Sakes! It means they burnt up from the inside. I’ve only seen the one body, so it would be hard to link it to the singing…”
“Shouldn’t we be looking for more leads then,” Xander asked.
“Buffy is supposed to be checking leads in the local demon bars but…”
“She was just rescued from a Hell dimension, Giles. She needs time to adjust.”
Anya made a noise, “Um, sorry. I have to go do things at the shop. I will see you guys later. Call if anything happens!”
She rushed off in the opposite direction of the shop.
“Weird,” Xander muttered.
Xander walked into Spike’s crypt to see him coming up from his lower lair. He sighed and went to his fridge, trying to ignore Xander at the door.
“Spike, talk to me.”
“Looking for another duet or do you want to serenade me this time?”
“Low, that’s low, Spike.”
“You know what’s low? The stage while a 600 pound Chriago demon sings Yma Sumac.” He smiled at him and got a bottle of whiskey from the fridge and started drinking it.
“Give the man a prize.”
“I didn’t come here for a fight. I saw you weren’t home still and figured this was the only other place you’d be.”
“Home? This is my home.”
“This isn’t home. This is a grave. You don’t belong in a grave. You belong with me.”
“Oh, yeah. Right. The sweet talk when I leave your sorry arse alone.”
“Come on, Spike. Please come home. Please. This place isn’t for you.”
Spike glared and pointed at him, “I died so many years ago.”
Fuck he was singing again, oh well, he’d roll with it.
“But, you can make me feel
Like it isn’t so.
And now you come around here,
Asking me to go home.”
He closed his eye and hummed a bit before he proceeded to move closer to Xander.
Afraid when I pull away.”
He rested his head on Xander’s shoulder.
“But you can’t tell the one you love.
You just don’t know how I’ll deal.”
He pulled back and looked at Xander.
“Whisper in this dead man’s ear,
I’ll try to understand how you feel.”
Xander turned away from him and Spike grabbed his arms.
“This is great.
I won’t go away.
‘Cause being with you touches me
More than I can say.
Xan, I’m not only dead to you.
So I’m saying let me stay
And let me rest in peace.”
He pulled Xander close to him and hugged him tight before letting him go.
“You let me rest in peace.
You let me get some sleep.
You let me bury myself inside you.
In your love that’s six foot deep.”
He threw the whiskey bottle against the wall which made Xander jump. Spike smiled at him playfully.
“I can lay my body down
And you can give me that sweet release.
You let me rest in peace.”
Xander started to move towards the underground lair where Spike had his bed. Spike intercepted him. He wasn’t finished with his song. Even if he was possessed by magic, he was going to finish it. He got on his knees in front of Xander.
“You know, you’ve got a willing slave.
But you never abuse that fact,
Even when I misbehave.”
He got up and looked into Xander’s eyes.
“But, even if you do, I’m telling you,
I’d love you to my grave.
And you’d let me rest in peace.”
Xander opened the door for him and he stepped out. They began to walk through the graveyard together. They witnessed a funeral passing.
“I know I should go.
But, I follow you like a man possessed.
There’s a traitor here beneath my breast.
And it hurts me more than you’d ever guess.”
Xander wrapped an arm around Spike and pulled him up against his body as they walked.
“If my heart could beat, it’d break my chest!
But I can see I don’t need to impress.
So don’t leave me be.”
A vampire jumped out of the coffin and attacked the mourners in front of Xander and Spike. Spike pulled out two stakes and handed one to Xander.
“You let me rest in peace.
You let me get some sleep.”
They start fighting the vampire, the vampire getting the better of Xander and throwing him into the grave.
“You let me bury myself inside you.
In your love that’s six foot deep.”
He threw the vampire into some chairs.
“I can lay my body down
And you can give me that sweet release.”
He staked the vampire.
“You let me rest in peace.”
He jumped down into the grave with Xander and looked at him.
“Why is it you who let’s me rest in peace?”
“Now if you could have said all that to begin with, we could have forgone the big musical number,” Xander teased.
“Oh don’t tell me you didn’t like my sexy rock ballad.”
“I loved it, but don’t tell anyone.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss Spike when Spike’s pocket started to ring. “Spike, you’re ringing.”
Spike pulled out a cell phone and answered it. He didn’t say anything, he just nodded. He hung up and looked at Xander.
“I’m sorry. Buffy gave me this phone just in case of an emergency.”
“Oh.” Xander narrowed his eyes. “What’s the emergency?”
“She wants me to go patrol and look for whoever is causing the singing.”
“You run whenever she calls!”
“Xan, I’ll have it out with you later. Right now, the world needs me. You want to stop this nasty singing, don’t you?”
Xander pouted as Spike kissed his cheek and climbed out of the grave. Xander thought someone was helping him out when he was forcibly pulled out of the grave, but by the looks of the wooden puppet men who were holding him, that didn’t seem likely.
Dawn was dumping out her school bag and taking out her books as Tara watched her. She twirled the flower in here hand.
“Do you need any help with your homework tonight?’
“No, the song and dance about proofs really helped out.”
“Willow is investigating who summoned the Lord of the Dance.” Dawn looked at her funny. “A demon, not the scary one. This song and dance should be over soon.”
“Do they know who summoned it?”
“Not yet, but Willow will find out.”
Dawn smiled, “I’m glad you two made up.”
“You know after the fight you had about magic and stuff. It always makes me squirm when you two fight. It’s unnatural. Like peanut butter and stringed peas.”
“Dawn, Willow and I never fought-“
“It’s okay. You guys made up now, so it’s all better. The jelly is back in the sandwich.”
Tara looked at the flower she held in her hand. Willow would never do that to her, would she?
“I have to go to the Magic Box. Do you want to come with?”
“No, I have a lot of homework.”
“You could bring it with.”
“Alright, guess it’s better than staying in this house alone. Maybe I can play with the spell books.”
Tara shook her head and helped Dawn collect her books.
Xander woke up on the pool table surrounded by a few of those puppet guys that kidnapped him. He got off the pool table where they had laid him. They danced around him, preventing him from leaving. He was starting to lose his patience with the dancing and start throwing punches when a spotlight was lit on the stage. A red demon appeared on the stage. He smiled at Xander and danced towards him.
“Why do you try to run away?
Don’t you like my style?”
He snapped his fingers and his suit changed blue, which Xander thought clashed a bit with his skin. Xander mentally smacked himself for the extremely gay thought in a time of crisis.
“Why don’t you come and play?
I can guarantee a great big-“
He took of his mouth and tossed it at Xander. Xander jumped back as it sang, “Smile!” The mouth disappeared and went back onto the demon’s mouth.
“I come from the
I’m strictly here by your
Xander gulped and recognized the scroll. It had come with necklace that was now sitting in his back pocket.
“So what do you say?
Why don’t we dance awhile?”
Xander tried to dance away, but he was cornered again and brought back to the demon he was going to start calling Sweet for the hell of it. Sweet started to tap dance while he sang to Xander. Xander kind of ignored what he was singing until he started to dance with him.
“I know what you feel, boy.”
He spun Xander who was starting to feel sick.
“So, um, you’re a good demon? You bring the fun in,” Xander said.
Sweet laughed at him. Xander did not like that laugh.
“All these melodies,
They go on too long.
Then that energy.”
Xander noticed the minions were back and they were dancing along with the song.
“Starts to come on way too strong.
All those hearts laid open, that must sting.”
A door appeared and Xander resisted the urge to do a really lame knock knock joke. He figured he could rattle off knock knock jokes when he was safe, sound, and not in the presence of a demon.
“Plus, some customers start combusting.”
Sweet opened the door and a charred body dropped in front of him. He was glad Spike wasn’t here. He would have teased him for screaming and nearly jumping out of his skin. At least this proved Giles right.
“That’s the penalty
When life is but a song.”
He danced up to Xander and grabbed him. He started to dance with Xander. Xander glared at him. Now he was wishing Spike was here. If Spike saw this, this demon would be dead. No, Spike would make him WISH he was dead, then he’d grant that wish. Then maybe revive him so he could do it again.
“You brought me down into this town
So, when we blow this scene
Back we will go to my kingdom below
And you will be my queen.”
QUEEN! There was only one man, well vampire, he would cross-dress for and he happened not to be in this room.
“’Cause I know what you feel, boy.”
“Not my scene.
Not for me.
I’m not very regal.”
“I’ll make it feel right, boy.”
“No, you see.
I’m a man.
The union wouldn’t be legal.”
Sweet jumped back and started to dance around Xander.
“I can bring whole cities to ruins.
And still have time to get a soft-shoe in.”
But my boyfriend is, well, see,
He’s kind of a vampire.”
“Something’s cooking, I’m the griddle.
I gave Nero his very first fiddle.”
“He’ll be pissed.
I’ll be missed.
I’m also friends with the Slayer.”
Sweet stopped and looked at him. He smiled evilly at Xander.
Xander nodded nervously. He didn’t like that look. He saw him motion to one of his minions. One of the puppets came closer and waited instructions.
“Find her and tell her everything. Just get her here. I want to see the slayer burn.”
Xander gulped, “She’ll never fall for it.”
He looked at his minion, “Find this boy’s boyfriend, maybe he will.”
Xander blushed as the minion rushed off. He had really called Spike his boyfriend. He missed the old days where it was just bug demons that were after him.
Sweet came closer to Xander, “Now we’re partying, that’s what it’s all about.”
Spike burst through the door carrying one of the wooden puppet guys. The thing’s arm was torn off and Spike was now carrying the marionette arm. Everyone looked at him wide-eyed as he tossed the arm aside and shook the demon in his hand violently.
“Tell them what you told me.” The puppet didn’t say anything and Spike shook him more, “Tell them you sodding excuse of a puppet or I’ll make sure you’re never a God damn real boy. Come on, SING!”
Music started to play and the puppet swayed to the music. Everyone waited for him to start, but instead the puppet answered in a monotone voice, “My master has the vampire’s boyfriend hostage. He is at the Bronze because he summoned my master and at midnight he’s going to take him into the underworld to become his queen.”
Spike growled. Everyone looked at Spike. They didn’t know who his boyfriend was. Then it dawned on them that it was probably the only missing Scooby. Xander was Spike’s boyfriend!
Giles wiped his glasses, “So what does your master want?”
The minion pointed at Buffy, “Her.”
“Well then, since we have all we need.” He tore off the puppet’s head. “Looks like he’ll never get to be a real boy.”
“That’s disgusting.” Buffy said.
“Whatever, we have to save Xander.” Spike said.
“We’ll back you up, Buffy,” Willow said.
“No,” Giles said.
“Xander might have been stupid for summoning the demon, but what else is new.” Anya said. “I’ve seen some male on male demon marriages. They never work out, well, maybe twice.”
“We’re not going to stay here while Xander is in trouble!” Dawn whined.
“Yes we are.” Giles looked at Buffy. “Buffy is going alone.”
“Don’t be a stupid git, Xander’s-“
“If I want your opinion, you know scratch that, I’ll never want your opinion, Spike.”
“I could do a spell,” Willow said.
“No!” Tara exclaimed. Willow gave her a confused look. “It’s just I don’t think it will help.”
“Forget them, Slayer. Let’s go save Xander,” Spike said.
“You’ve been screwing my friend behind my back. I don’t trust you, I’ll never trust you. I don’t want you anywhere near him,” Buffy said.
“I sang a-“
“Aw, Spike sang a widdle song. Too bad, you’re not helping me rescue Xander.”
“I’m sure his song wasn’t as good as ours,” Anya commented
“You too, Anya. I don’t need your help, I don’t need anybody's help!”
“Fine! I hope you dance until you burn. You and that wanker.”
“Burn, baby!” Anya exclaimed.
Spike stormed out of shop with Anya closely behind him. Buffy glared at the door and didn’t look at Giles.
“So you’re not coming?”
“Do you want me to?”
“What do you expect from me?”
She stormed out the door and let it close with a bang.
Buffy closed her eyes then opened them. She could feel a song coming as she stared at the flame in the barrel. She held her hand out to the flame.
“I touch the fire and it freezes me.
I look into it and it’s black.
Why can’t I feel?
My skin should crack and peel.
I want the fire back!”
Spike leaned back against the wall a few blocks away from where Buffy was. He had successfully lost Anya but was now lost himself. He lit a cigarette and looked into the sky.
“Now through the smoke, he calls to me.
To make my way across the flames.”
He took a drag of the cigarette. He missed Xander.
“To save the day
Or maybe blow away.
I guess it’s all the same.”
Anya walked up to him; she finally caught up with him.
“So I will walk through the fire.
‘Cause where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it-“
Spike interrupted her. She glared a bit but he sang on.
“This torch I bear is scorching me.”
Anya sang, “Buffy’s laughing, there’s no doubt.”
“I hope she fries!”
“I’m free if that bitch dies!”
“We better help her out.”
They started to walk off and Spike threw away his cigarette.
Xander was tapping his feet nervously in the Bronze while Sweet waited for the Slayer. Sweet began to sing.
“She is drawn to the fire.
Some people will never learn.
And she will walk through the fire.
And let it-“
Giles was in the shop while everyone was looking nervous.
“Will this do a thing to change her?
Did I put Xander in danger?
Is my slayer too far gone?”
Dawn put a hand on his shoulder, “What if Buffy can’t defeat it?”
Willow nodded, “Dawny’s right! We’re needed!” She looked back at Tara. “Or we could just sit around and glare.”
They all looked at each other and came to an agreement that they would go help her.
“We’ll see it through.
It’s what we’re always here to do.
So we will walk through the fire.”
Buffy was walking through the alley. She felt alone.
“One by one they turn from me.
I guess my friends can’t face the cold.
But why I froze, not one among them knows.
And can never be told.”
Anya and Spike rounded a corner.
“She came back from the grave much graver,” Anya sang.
“First I’ll kill him, then I’ll save him,” Spike sang.
Back in the Bronze, Sweet grinned at Xander.
“One by one they turn to me.
The distant redness as their guide.”
Xander glared, “Spike will save me then he’ll kill you.”
“That single flame
You think you’re very brave.
I know it’s all inside.”
“I know you’re a killer,
But I won’t let you leave me in the dark.”
“These endless days, they will end in a blaze.”
“I know he’ll come for me.”
Everyone started to sing together even they were far apart. Xander glared at Sweet while he sang and challenged him to try anything before Spike got there.
“We are caught in the fire.
The point of no return.
So we will walk through the fire.
And let it burn!
Let it burn!
Let it burn!
Let it BURN!”
Spike helped Anya over the fence and she gave him an apologetic look and a shrug. He sighed and looked around. They were obviously lost.
From their corner, Anya and Spike watched Buffy sing with Tara and Dawn as back-up.
“So you and Buffy,” Spike said.
“Yeah, me and Buffy. Kind of had a demon to newly revived talk. Things happened. I’m not mad at Xander for dumping me for you, if you’re worried about that.”
“Not worried about it, luv.”
They stood their awkwardly.
“So Buffy was ripped out of Heaven?”
“Yeah, it’s sad. I asked her about which Heaven dimension she went to. I was at a few. They’re nice.” She said. “But, usually, you’re meant to stay in them.”
“God knows Heaven isn’t where I’ll be going.”
“If it was up to me, I’d let you into one of the Heaven dimensions.”
“Too bad it isn’t up to you, pet.”
He gave her a small push as Buffy started to dance wildly and began to smoke.
He whispered to her, “Looks like it’s your cue.”
Anya stumbled out and grabbed Buffy by the shoulders. Spike watched from his tiny hiding spot. He was afraid to come out. It was his fault Xander was captured.
“Life’s not a song.
Life’s isn’t bliss.
Life is just this.
Spike watched Anya put a hand to Buffy’s cheek.
“You’ll get along.
The pain you feel
Only you can heal.
Anya smiled at her.
“You have to keep on living.
So don’t be afraid of living.”
Dawn came up beside Buffy, “The hardest thing in this world is living in it.”
Sweet started to applaud them. Spike peaked out at the stage to see Xander bound to the chair.
“What a show stopping number, but I’ll be leaving with my queen now.”
Spike stepped out of the shadows and pointed at Sweet, “Like bloody Hell you are. He’s mine.”
“SPIKE!” Xander exclaimed.
“Hey, Xan.” He said sweetly then glared at Sweet. “Let him go!”
“He signed a contract. I can’t let him go. I came, made the musical happen, now he’s bound to me for the rest of eternity.”
“Xan,” Spike looked at him hurt. “Why?”
“I thought…” Xander looked ashamed. “I thought you didn’t love me and that I was just something fun to play with beneath the sheets. I was hoping because in musicals, everyone gets together and I was hoping that would be us.”
“I love you, Xan.”
“I know that now, I love you too.”
“How sweet,” Sweet said. “Come on, down to the Underworld we go.”
“WAIT!” Spike exclaimed.
The melody for “The Devil went down to Georgia” started to play and Spike hips were thumping to the music. He kept his finger pointed at Sweet with an icy dead glare.
“Sweet went down to Sunnyhell, he was looking for my Xan to steal.
He was in a bind, ‘cause he was way behind: maybe he was willing to make a deal.
When he saw a young vamp, dancing to the beat and movin’ like he was hot.
Sweet jumped up on a hickory stump and said. ”
Xander’s eye widened as he realized Spike was challenging Sweet to either a dance off or a sing off. Either way, Xander wasn’t sure about this. This was the demon of dance! You didn’t beat the demon of dance at his own game!
Sweet smiled and decided to play Spike’s game, “Boy let me tell you what.”
Spike smiled, put his arm down and into his jeans’ pocket. He leaned back and waited for the terms of duel.
“I bet you didn’t know that I was a hot dancer too.
And if you care to dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
Now you dance pretty well, boy, but give Sweet his dues:
I bet Xan against your heart, ‘cos I think I’m better than you.
The boy said.”
Spike grinned, “My name’s Spike and it might be a sin. But, I’ll take your bet, you’re gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.”
They started to dance. It was mix between line dancing and break dancing. As they progressed the moves got more complicated. Spike started throwing in flips and handstands. Sweet was tiring but Spike still had a lot of steam left in him. Sweet stopped, breathing heavily.
“I’ll tell you right now. You win.”
He disappeared leaving Xander to fall back onto the stage when the chair disappeared. Spike jumped onto the stage and embraced Xander into a tight hug. Xander hugged him back.
“We have to get home,” Xander said.
Spike pulled back and looked at him, “Why?”
“When you saved my life, that was hot as hell. Maybe I’ll even let you make me your queen.”
Spike laughed, “You let me rest in peace.”
“I let you rest in peace,” Xander sang back to him.
They smashed their lips together and heard fireworks, then what sounded like trumpets. The curtains closed around them and they felt like this was happily ever after.