Feedback: Would love you forever if you left some.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters.
Summary: Spike has gotten himself a soul by accident. The Powers That Be want him to go to Sunnydale and deliver a message about the upcoming Harvest. He just wants to get in and get out, but will he be able to stick to his plans?
Chapter Summary: The Master is close to rising and Spike knows what he has to do, but will Xander let him?
Warnings: Souled!Spike and AU
Previous Chapter: Nightmares
Notes: I'd like to thank kimalis for helping me out with Spike's slang and bringing detail to me jumbled mind. Then I'd like to thank Buffyworld for episode guides. Out of Mind, Out of Sight NEVER EVER EVER!!! happened. I hate that episode more than anything. If you want to know what happened in my verse: Marcie started to go invisible, Buffy slapped her. Marcie went "I matter!" The End.
Spike walked into the library and tossed a book at Giles. Giles opened it and gasped. He pulled out a magnifying glass and inspected the book carefully. He closed it and looked at Spike.
“Do you know what this is?”
“Not a clue. It had the word ‘Slayer’ in it and I thought I’d get it for you.”
“This is the Tiberius Manifesto! The Pergamum Codex! It contains the prophecy of the slayers! Where on Earth did you find this?”
“There was this garage sale, see? Saw it while I was walking, having a smoke. Noticed it was open late and decided to drop by. Got it for a real bargain. Bastard wanted one whole dollar for the musty old thing. I talked him down to a nickel.”
“Dear lord, the most important book in the history of slayers and it only went for a nickel.”
“Should I have paid the dollar?”
“What?” Giles said. “Oh, um… no. Nickel is…”
“Want me to leave you with the book?”
Giles didn’t hear the sexual undertone of what Spike said, “Yes, could you?”
Spike rolled his eyes. He didn’t know why he even attempted to understand that man. It was well past sunset and he was still in the library. Spike rolled his shoulder in an attempt to loosen it up. He didn’t know where to go now. He wanted to go anywhere but the Bronze or home. He had been avoiding Xander since he had so boldly confessed that he thought Spike loved him. Spike snorted. Like he could ever love him! Sure, Xander was caring, sensitive, treated him like a man, and had beautiful chocolate eyes. Oh, bugger. He loved him.
Jesse nodded his head only half listening to what Xander said. He was watching Cordelia from across the room. She was chatting with her friend ‘Aura’ who had replaced Harmony after she ‘ran off with bikers’. He wanted to go over and ask her to the dance. Maybe he should. Maybe he should wait until she was alone. But when was Cordelia ever alone?
“Is it weird that I keep referring to the dance as a mating ritual?” Xander asked. “Do you think I still have a bit of hyena in me? That guy did die rather quickly. Do you think it didn’t all transfer? Maybe I should use the mating ritual reference or would that freak him out? I did take him as my mate by force.”
Jesse nodded, “Yeah, go with that.”
“Just because you have the hugest hard on for Cordelia doesn’t mean you can ignore me. I have rights you know. Best friend rights. I can invoke them at any time.”
“Just ask Spike to the dance then if it leads to mating, go with it.”
“You were listening.”
“See, I’ve mastered the drool and listen.”
“You’re boyfriend material now.”
“Shut up.” Jesse pointed. “Look, there he is.”
Xander’s head whipped around to see Spike had just entered the Bronze. He was making his way towards them and Xander panicked.
“What do I do? What do I say? What if he says no? He is going to say no. He’s going to say a big Hell no. But, what if he-“
Jesse clamped a hand over Xander’s mouth, “Hey, Spike.”
Xander gave Spike a head nod with Jesse’s hand still firmly placed over his mouth. Jesse didn’t let go. He knew the moment his hand left Xander’s mouth, Xander would stick his foot in it.
“The boy’s babbling annoying you too?”
Cordelia walked over to them. Jesse felt himself go numb as she ignored them and walked right up to Spike. He gave her an annoyed look. It didn’t seem like he was happy socializing with her outside school productions.
“Will,” she said twisting a hair around her finger. “Can I ask a favor of a big, strong, older man like yourself?”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Will you go to the Spring Fling with me?”
He gave her a confused and strangled look, “The what?”
“It’s a dance. Don’t they have dances in England?”
“I don’t dance. Sorry.”
“Oh. Well, there are tons of other boys I can go with. Tons!” She pointed at Jesse. “You. Ask me to the dance.”
Jesse looked around and pointed to himself with the hand not covering Xander’s mouth.
“Yes, you. Ask me.”
“Will you go to the dance with me?”
“No, sorry. See. Tons of boys.”
She turned on her heel and stormed off towards her friends. Jesse furrowed his brow and took his hand off Xander’s mouth.
“Should I be happy I was the rebound boy or sad that I just got rejected?”
The ground shook and there was screaming. Everyone was panicking at the sudden tremor.
“Under the stairs!” Xander screamed and dived for them.
Spike watched Jesse scramble next to him. He rolled his eyes as they looked at him expectantly. He wonder if they realized that the entire Bronze could fall down and he’d survive as long as nothing wood and pointy found its way into his heart.
“Then all the pictures in my house fell down,” Willow exclaimed.
They were sitting in the library recounting their tales of when the earthquake hit. Buffy had been out slaying and Giles had been in the library where Spike had left him.
“So, about the book,” Spike said. “Any use?”
“Oh, yes. I read it.”
“It was very interesting. It was very informative and gave helpful information. Did I mention that it had very helpful information?”
“Giles, is there something you’re not telling us?” Buffy asked.
The bell rang and the students grudgingly took up their bags. Spike pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.
“What’s that?” Giles asked him.
“This? Snyder wanted me to look over some rules and write comments.”
“You two seem a bit chummy.”
“Just one ruthless monster to the next. Mean nothing by it. I think he can tell I have-“ Spike searched for a word. “Experience in the scaring of children.”
“What are the rules?”
“Off-campus regulations and a dress code. Told him where he could stick it with the dress code.”
Spike came out of Snyder’s office and shivered. He didn’t know there was a human on Earth that could be a ruthless as a vampire. Of course, that’s probably why he had gotten the job as principal. It would probably help keep him from getting eaten for maybe a few years.
Spike looked around to see Xander rushing towards him from the other end of the hall. Spike was almost convinced that the boy had radar for whenever Spike was in the room. Spike made it easy for him and met him halfway.
“Can we talk?” Xander asked.
Spike nodded. He knew they had to. Xander found a group of chairs, but they were occupied. Xander growled loudly and the students ran away. They sat down and awkward seconds passed between them. Xander leaned his head back then forward then he looked at Spike.
“I know you don’t dance. But, dances are like mating rituals. No, that didn’t come out right. There are more things to do at a dance than just dance and I know it’s a human thing. But, what I’m trying to say is that will you go to the Spring Fling with me?”
Spike bit his lip. Spike wanted to say yes, but all this thoughts and all his dreams, it scared his soul what he wanted to do to the boy’s body. He wanted to take it and make it go to within an inch of its life, then take that inch for his own.
“No, Xander.” Spike got up and kissed Xander’s forehead. “I know what I am. You need to remember what I am too. Remember what I could do to you, what I want to do to you. If I didn’t have this soul, you’d be my beautiful boy and we’d rule Sunnydale together. But, I have it and I feel guilty. You have a good soul; make sure it stays in there.”
Xander gasped and looked at Spike shocked. He offered him a small smile and walked away. Xander was calling after him, telling him to come back, but Spike pretended like he didn’t hear.
Jesse walked up to Xander who was outside bouncing a ball off the wall. He walked up to him but Xander didn’t stop playing with the ball.
“If I was a vampire, would you still be friends with me?”
“What? If this is about that nightmare incident…”
“If you tried to eat me like you did in the hall, then I don’t know if I could be friends with you.”
“You think I’d care if we were friends? I mean, do vampires care or are they just bastards. You know, who like throw around pretty words like ‘I love you’ then stomp on your still beating heart.”
“So you’re thinking if you were a vampire, Spike would like you better? Am I following the train of thought?”
Xander missed the ball and it rolled away. He didn’t go after it.
“I have to go. I remembered I left something in the library.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“You know me.”
“Yeah, so don’t do anything stupid.”
Spike looked over the text in the book then looked at Giles. He really couldn’t believe what he was reading. They were in Giles’ office going over the Codex Spike found.
“They actually predict how each slayer is going to off it? There isn’t one prophecy in here that isn’t about a slayer offing it for the greater good.”
“Yes, well, it’s actually the one that might pertain to Buffy that I’m most worried about.”
“Well, prophecies ain’t really set in stone. Dru, she used to get visions all the time. They were just one recorded piece, you know? Doesn’t really say if these… oh look, I’m in here. About me offing the Chinese Slayer.”
“You’re in ancient written text, you must be so proud.”
“I still don’t believe Buffy’s going to off it tomorrow night.”
“I’m going to what it tomorrow night?” Buffy said behind them.
They turned around to see her standing there and fighting off tears.
“Off it means die,” Spike said quietly.
“Was no one going to tell me? Were you just going to sit in here and whisper behind my back about how I was going to die tomorrow? Would it have been better? Do you think it would have been better if I never found out?”
“No-“ Giles started.
“Just don’t. I know how it works. You don’t have to worry if I die. There will just be another slayer to take my place. I wonder who she is. I wonder how she’ll die. Maybe it’ll be quick. Maybe it’ll be slow. Does it say, Giles? Does it say how I’ll die? How she’ll die?”
“No, not exactly. I’m trying to read it and find a way around it.”
“I know a way around it. I quit.”
“Listen here, Slayer. This ain’t no bloody job. People are counting on you. All your friends. The Master rises, what do you think happens? He just leaves them alone? He lets them live? Imagine Jesse or Willow or… Xander dead. Isn’t that reason enough to fight? Isn’t that enough reason to at least try despite the prophecy?”
She took off her necklace and threw it at him, “That’s easy for you to say! You’re immortal!”
“I can still die! I’d gladly get staked if it meant I could keep you lot alive.”
“Then you go! You go and fight the Master.”
“See, exactly what I thought. I’m finished with you.”
She stormed out of the library. Spike’s eye dropped to the ground. Maybe that’s why he had this soul. So, he could go sacrifice himself to the Master and do the job for Buffy. He tossed the idea around in his head. He would do it; he just had to say good-bye first.
Xander had taken his phone off the hook and it rang endlessly. Both Jesse and Willow had been trying to call him all night. He wondered if they worried he was some undead creature they’d have to stake now. He sighed and put his head down on the desk. He heard a knock, but didn’t get up to answer the door.
“Xander, it’s me,” Spike said. “Open up.” There was a pause. “I want to talk.”
“You can talk through the door.”
“Fine. I’m going to go see the Master. I’m going to try and kill him for Buffy.”
“But you can’t! The Master, he’s strong. He gets in your head. He’ll get in your head and you’ll end up staking yourself instead. You know. You’ve come to say good-bye.”
Xander rushed to the door and pulled it open. Spike was standing in the hallway and staring at the floor. He refused to look at Xander.
“Yeah, this is good-bye. Maybe I’ll get lucky and do something, anything that will get him trapped again. I don’t belong here, but I’m chained. Maybe the reason why I’m chained here is so my pathetic life will do some good. Maybe that’s the reason I have this soul and came here. Buffy will die if I don’t go in her stead. She’s sixteen. I’m over one hundred. I get it. It’s my time.”
Xander grabbed Spike’s hand, “Then at least let me say good-bye.”
The alarm went off and Spike moaned. When did he get an alarm clock? He squeezed his eyes and felt something snake around him, trying to reach the alarm clock. Spike opened to see a naked arm finally hit the snooze button. The arm fell and rested on Spike’s also naked chest. He followed the arm to its owner; a very naked Xander was cuddled up beside him. He remembered coming to say good-bye then Xander taking his hand and leading him towards the bed. Oh, God. He slept with Xander. Xander had been ready for him, waiting for him.
“I think this was a lot better than the dance.”
“The dance? Isn’t that tomorrow night?”
“It is tomorrow night. You’ve been out for awhile.”
“Why didn’t you wake me? Buffy!”
“I set my alarm. We’ve got an hour before she leaves. So, get your clothes on. We’ll catch her in time.”
Xander kissed his chest and slipped out of bed. Spike stared awkwardly at the ceiling for a few minutes until his body went into autopilot. He pulled on his socks, then his pants and tried not to think of the night before or that he had been lying in bed all day with Xander. He pulled on his shirt and looked for his boots. He knew he kicked them around here somewhere.
“You’re going to make this as awkward as possible, aren’t you?”
“Don’t mean to, love.”
He found one of his boots and shoved his foot in it, then began lacing it up. Spike found his other one and did the same.
“We had sex, okay. I’ve wanted this ever since I found out you loved me. And we love each other and that makes it okay. Okay?”
Spike rolled his eyes, “It’s not that. This is just- God, I was seduced by a teenager!”
Xander laughed, “Next time, I’ll make a mental note to let you do the seducing.”
Xander tossed Spike his duster. He smiled at Spike. Xander didn’t care if this was awkward. He had kept Spike from going to see the Master alone and that was enough for him.
Spike pace angrily around the library as Xander talked to Giles. Buffy had punched Giles out in an attempt to leave before everyone got to the library and he now was sporting a huge bruise on his chin. Willow and Jesse were there too. They seemed distant somehow, like they had gotten into a fight. Xander didn’t ask. He just stared blankly at Giles.
“What do you mean she already left to fight the Master?” Xander asked.
“She left a few minutes ago after she got into a fight with Jenny and me.”
“Who’s Jenny?” Spike asked.
“Computer witch and programming teacher,” Willow said.
“Oh. Well, that explains everything.”
“Don’t get snarky, Mister.”
“I’m not snarky. If someone would have just let me go, Buffy probably wouldn’t even have to go and fight the Master right now.”
“Do not play the blame game with me, Spike.” Xander said.
Jesse stepped in the middle of everyone, “We have to stay calm. We can’t go biting each other’s heads off.”
“He’s right.” A woman entered the library carrying an ice pack. “We won’t find Buffy or stop an apocalypse by arguing.”
The woman, Jenny, put the ice pack on Giles’ chin. Spike stopped pacing. He was the only one that had any strength. He had to do this.
“No more arguing then. I’m going.”
“Not alone,” Xander said.
“What are you going to do?”
“Maybe get lucky and something, anything I do will stop him from rising.”
Spike considered him for a minute then let out a long sigh, “Alright. Suit up.”
Spike looked around the tunnels, “Was it a left or was it a right?”
“We’re lost. Oh, we’re lost and then we’re going to starve.”
“Well, I’m not going to starve,” Spike said with a chuckle.
“But then once my blood is gone, there won’t be enough to feed either one of us.”
“You always have this turning fetish?”
“Not until I met you.”
“Brilliant.” He pointed at the left tunnel. “I think it’s this way.”
“It better be. I’m not going to live off rats.”
Spike stopped again and looked around. He really didn’t recognize this part of the sewers but the Master’s scent was stronger here.
“We’re lost. Oh, we’re going to starve. Oh, God.”
Xander gripped the ax he had brought tighter. Spike turned around and looked at the panicking Xander. He walked over to him and pressed his lips against Xander’s mouth. He could feel Xander instantly relax. Spike pulled back and looked at him.
“Only comfort kiss you’re getting, so stay relaxed and alert. We’re nearly there. Come on.”
“Wait, just in case we don’t make it. I want to say something.”
“Last night was amazing and I don’t want it to end. I don’t know how different my life would be if you didn’t come into it, but I know you belong here. You belong in my life. So, if the Master kills us or me, I just wanted you to know you had a place you belonged.”
“Well, thanks, pet.”
“That’s all? No long speech of undying devotion before we die?”
Spike smiled at him, “This doesn’t feel like the day we die.”
“Is that it?” Xander said pointing to light up ahead.
“Yeah, but he’s already gone up.”
“Buffy!” Xander dropped his ax and ran forward.
Spike picked it up and followed quickly behind him. Buffy was floating face down in the pool below. Panic flooded over him. He jumped down and quickly ran to the pool. He pulled her out and felt for a pulse. There was nothing. He looked sadly at Xander. Xander was rolling up his sleeves.
“Put her on her back, face up, then tilt her head back. I’m going to do CPR.”
Spike did as he was instructed and watched as Xander went to work. He pressed on her chest then breathed into her mouth. Spike watched on nervously. He wished there was something he could do to help.
“Come on,” Spike muttered. “You can do it, love.”
Xander repeated the process over again, then again, and again. He was just about to give up when Buffy gasped and her eyes flew open. She coughed up water and sat up. She looked from Xander to Spike.
“Buffy,” Xander said with relief.
“Welcome back,” Xander said pulling her into a hug.
“He’s already risen.”
“Looks like I have to get a move on.”
She grabbed Spike’s shirt and pulled herself up. Her knees wobbled and she grabbed his shoulder for support. Xander stood and tried to help her.
“Buffy,” Spike said. “You’re too weak. I can take him on. You don’t have to.”
“No, Spike. I feel different. I feel stronger. I can do this.”
Spike and Xander were following Buffy. She seemed determined as she entered the school and dusted a few vampires who were guarding the doors. Spike handed Xander back his ax when they stopped. Buffy turned around and looked at them.
“I’m going after the Master. You two make sure to stake any vampire.” Spike raised an eyebrow at her. “I didn’t mean you, Spike.”
“As long as we’re clear,” spike said. “Good luck, Buffy.”
“Yeah, you too. Don’t let a fledge kill you.”
“Please! Don’t make me laugh!”
Buffy offered him a small smile as she ran off. A few vampires tried to follow her, but Spike pulled a stake out of his duster. The vampires exploded into dust with one fluid motion from Spike.
“No, but let’s get dusting.”
Xander was breathing heavily as Aura opened the door for them. He looked from her to Cordelia. He got a confused look on his face. Buffy and Spike came laughing into the library behind him.
“You really said that to him?”
“Yes! I did!”
“Oh, you shut that snarky bastard right up. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when you grabbed him!”
“You’re laughing about this?” Giles asked.
Buffy shrugged, “It’s been a weird day.”
“Yeah, she died and everything,” Xander said.
“I should have known that wouldn’t stop you,” Giles said brightly.
“We should do something to celebrate,” Jesse said.
“There’s a party at the Bronze,” Xander said.
Spike rolled his eyes, “Count me out. I don’t dance.”
“Oh, come on!” Buffy pleaded.
They began to drag Spike out the door. They all felt lighter now that the Master was dead. They were glad it was finally over or was it…?
A/N: Couldn’t resist the question mark ending. Hope you enjoyed it! On to season 2!