Kitty Alex (ex_kitty_al) wrote in bloodclaim,
Kitty Alex
ex_kitty_al
bloodclaim

If I Were Souled ~ When She Was Bad

Title: If I Were Souled ~ When She Was Bad
Rating: NC-17
Author: kitty_alex
Feedback: Please?
Pairings: Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters.
Summary: Spike has settled into Sunnydale and has found a place for himself with Xander. Only problem is the Anointed One has unknowingly created a major road block for them.
Chapter Summary: The Anointed One has kidnapped the gang and is trying to revive the Master. Can Buffy come to her senses and stop him?
Warnings: Souled!Spike and AU
Notes: I'd like to thank kimalis for helping me out with Spike's slang and bringing detail to me jumbled mind. Then I'd like to thank Buffyworld for episode guides. Welcome to season 2, don't hate me for the end!




Xander searched for his underwear. He knew he had thrown them somewhere close to the bed. Spike groaned and pulled covers over his head.

“It’s Saturday,” he mumbled.

“Buffy is getting back today.”

“Don’t care. Sleeping. Get back to bed.”

“But she was away all summer. Don’t you miss her?”

“Miss your dick in my arse, but you don’t see me whining about it.”

Xander laughed, “You’re always so vulgar in the mornings. Well, nights. It doesn’t matter. We have to meet Jesse and Willow. They’re probably there already.”

“Don’t want to get out of bed. Just have a bad feeling. Something big is stirring.”

“Going to tell me what this bad feeling is?”

Spike grinned, “Pull the covers off and find out.”

Xander pulled the covers off of Spike’s head, “There’s an apocalypse under the sheets?”

“A big one.”

Xander licked Spike’s neck while pulling the covers down past his chest, “Uh oh. Should I take care of it or do you think this is one of those apocalypses I can ignore?”

Spike moaned, “Oh think you better take care of this one, pet. It needs special attention.”

Xander kissed and licked his way down to Spike’s left nipple, “Am I getting close?”

Spike ran a cold hand down Xander’s bare back and shook his head. Xander bit it then assaulted it with licks and more bites. Spike arched off the bed, he loved when Xander bit him, each bite always sent shockwaves through Spike’s body. Xander teased it by brushing his finger tips over it lightly then continued to move further down. He pulled the covers off Spike down to his ankles and positioned himself in between Spike’s legs. He licked the tip of Spike’s cock.

“Did I find the big bad?”

Spike moaned loudly as Xander licked the tip again, “I think you did. What are you going to do now?”

“Smother him to death.”




Two hours later, Spike and Xander were rushing up to the cemetery. Buffy was already with Jesse and Willow. They watched as they ran up out of breath.

“Sorry we’re late guys.”

“It’s been two hours! What were you doing?” Jesse asked.

“Stopping an apocalypse,” Xander said with a cough.

Willow blushed, “Oh! That’s code for… Oh!”

“Code for? OH!” Buffy said and blushed. “You two are… Wow. It has been a long summer.”

Xander blushed, “If we are all finished talking about my, um, apocalypse. What did I miss?”

“Oh, well, I just dusted a vampire, saved the day, and got really cool new shoes.”

“Xander staked a vampire too,” Spike said.

Xander choked, “She meant with a wooden stake!”

“Well, um, yeah,” Jesse said trying to change the topic. “There were hardly any vampires since you killed the Master. We got to bury his bones. We wore robes and poured holy water on them.”

“I still think we should have smashed them,” Spike muttered.




Giles looked at Spike following Xander down the hallway. They came up to him and Xander waved. Willow bounced up behind them.

“It’s too bad Jesse couldn’t get first period with us.”

“Do you go to school here now, Spike, or do just have nothing better to do during the day?”

Spike put up a finger, “Do you smell that? It’s the decaying youth bound to society’s rules, coupled by the wasting of childhood while locked indoors with books instead of in the bright sun.”

“When you put it that way, it all sounds so very morbid and exactly the place you’d enjoy being around.”

“Yeah, got other reasons too,” he gave a quick look at Xander.

“So, how was your summer?” Giles asked them.

“Pretty uneventful until-“ Willow said.

“I bagged a vampire, well Xander did too but in a different way,” Buffy said coming up beside Willow.

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them, “Xander bagged a vampire in a different way?”

“All summer long,” Spike said with a grin.

“How about we say that with little more volume? I’m bagging a male vampire.”

“I don’t know if it’s the male part or the vampire part that wigs me more, “Buffy said. “Not that I’m homophobic. It’s just, it’s Spike. I mean, how do you not picture Billy Idol?”

“Billy Idol stole this look from me,” Spike said glaring at her.

“Big foot in the mouth for me then.”

Giles put his glasses on, “I should consult my books about this. Not about Xander, but about the vampires. The new vampires.”

The bell rang and everyone sighed.

Spike leaned in and whispered softly into Xander’s ear, “Want you, love.”

“Yeah, but I’ll… broom closet later?”

Spike’s mood picked up, “Yeah alright. Looks like you have a study buddy until then, Giles.”

“Oh, how lucky am I. I get teamed with the morally redundant vampire.”

“I know what all those words mean and my morals might be lacking and I might be a bit depraved, but I was well educated before I was turned, so don’t to pull the pompous act on me.”

“A well educated vampire, stranger things have happened. Oh, while I have you and Buffy, Spike.”

“Yeah,” Buffy and Spike said at once.

“Could you spar with Buffy after school as part of her training?”




Spike fell to the floor. He could feel a few broken ribs. Buffy went to hit him again, but Xander was on top of him shielding him. She stopped and looked at Xander.

“What the Hell are you doing, Buffy? You’re beating the ever unliving crap out of my boyfriend!”

Buffy blinked, “What? Oh. I’m sorry. I kind of forgot I was training with a live vamp.”

“You forgot!? I come in here to check on you and you’re wailing on him!”

“I’m sorry. Hey, brightside, at least I’m all ready for the next big bad.”

“My boyfriend is not the next big bad.”

“It’s okay, pet,” Spike said struggling to get up. “Slayer needs to train, needs something live. My own fault if I can’t hold my own.”

“But-“

“Enough of that. Let’s go buy me a drink.”




Spike sipped his drink and silently sat with Xander at the Bronze. His ribs felt like they were healing, but he still felt like a walking bruise. He sighed as Xander made another noise.

“I won’t spar with her again, happy?”

“She could have killed you!”

“What? No she couldn’t have.”

“She was halfway to snapping you like a Spike-shaped twig! If I didn’t walk in when I did…”

“Giles would have stopped her. You’re overreacting.”

“When she stakes you and you’re all dust, don’t expect me to get an urn or something for you. I’m going to sweep you under the rug or into a dust pan.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Okay, maybe it is, but still, vampire and slayer, they just don’t mesh. Be careful.”

“She just went off on me when I bent down to take a breather. It was like she was in a whole other place. Can’t be mad at her for that. Sometimes you just need to hit something.”

“Then she can invest in a punching bag.”

Spike growled, “Aurelius vamps just entered. Four of them. Damn, I’m in crap condition. Bloody Slayer.”

Xander tilted his head, “Are you bipolar?”

“What do you mean?”

“One minute you’re like ‘It’s okay, I’m just concerned’ then the next you’re ready to rip Buffy’s throat out for hurting you.”

“I wasn’t-“

“I know that tone.”

“It’s nothing to worry your pretty little neck about.”

“It’s not my ‘pretty little neck’ I’m worried about.”

“I better tell Buffy about the Aurelius vampires. This many in one place is too much of a coincidence. Vampires don’t work together unless they are under a master vampire or forming a nest. Either way, it spells trouble.”

“Don’t let her beat you up again.”

“I’ll stay on my toes.”

“You better, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

Spike kissed him, “No worries. I’ll come back in one piece.”

Xander watched Spike get up and walk away. He let out a big sigh. He didn’t know what to do. Sometimes Spike was so close he could have sworn he was touching his soul while other times he just felt so distant. The fear of losing Spike consumed him ever since Spike had almost faced the Master alone. After three months did Spike still resent him for stopping him? Spike had been ready to die, but Xander had taken him by the hand and led him in the opposite direction. Did Xander make a mistake saving him?




The next night, Xander was jumpy. He hadn’t seen Spike since the night he walked away at the Bronze. Jesse and Willow were talking while he zoned out and watched the door.

“Xander, you’re acting like a love sick puppy,” Jesse said.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Willow asked.

“I think I made a mistake.”

“Oh, don’t worry about the pre-quiz in history. If you failed it, I can help.”

“No. The night before Buffy died. Spike came to me to say good-bye. He was going to die for Buffy and I stopped him. It’s my fault he didn’t die and it’s my fault she did die. It’s just my fault all around.”

“Xander!” Willow said with a gasp.

“You did what you thought was right,” Jesse said with a scowl directed at Willow. “No one blames you for what happened. And how would Spike’s death helped? You two just need to sit down and talk about it. You know, man to man or man to vampire.”




Spike had been watching them from the corner. He wanted to go up and talk to Xander, but he felt he had somehow done wrong. He had been slipping back and forth more often.

“You think you’re hot shit, don’t you?”

He looked and noticed Buffy was standing next to him.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You play wounded, turn my friend against me, then come to play hero and warn me about the big bad Order of Aurelius vampires. Who do you think you’re fooling?”

“I’m not fooling anyone.”

“Like I can really believe a vampire is in love with Xander. He means nothing to you and you mean nothing to him. Do you really expect Xander to spend his entire life mooning over you? While you stay young and he gets old. Think he wants that? You’re a pretty little toy.”

Buffy walked away and towards the table. She pulled Xander out to the dance floor and began to dance sensually with him as if to prove her point that Spike was just a toy.

“Gez, Buffy could win the bitch of the year awards.”

Cordelia offered him a coffee mug. He took and just held onto it as he watched Xander and Buffy dance.

“She’s probably right.”

“You know she’s not. You’re this year’s vamp. I bet you saved her ass loads of times and now she’s getting groin-y with your boyfriend to try and prove that you don’t matter, which you do. I don’t know what triggered this whole bad attitude she’s got going on, but I can’t sit idly by.”

“Cordelia the Bitch Slayer.”

“Damn right.” She watched Buffy leave a confused Xander on the dance floor. “I’ll go talk to her. You talk to Xander and if you two ever break up, I’m making my move.”

“Uh, there are plenty of vamps in the sea?”

“Just go.”

Cordelia started walking towards the retreating Buffy. Spike made his way to the dance floor where Xander was still standing. Spike touched Xander’s shoulder and he jumped.

“What happened?”

“She told me that I wasn’t gay and that just by dancing with her it proved it. Then the only reason I thought I was in love with you was because I have a hero complex or something.”

“She said something similar to me.”

“Were you there the entire time?”

“Yeah, sorry love.”

“Promise me you’ll never leave.”

“I promise.”




Giles was looking at Spike who was reading a book and humming to himself.

“You know what I miss?” Giles said loudly.

“The 50’s?”

“Privacy. It’s either children or you in here or…”

Snyder walked in and Spike looked up from his book. He stormed up to Spike who seemed oddly amused. Spike grinned at Snyder’s flushed face.

“I think the dress codes are more than necessary!”

“Why don’t we just clone the kids while we’re at it? Uniforms create nothing but depression and hides individuality.”

“You are skating on thin ice.”

“What are you going to do? Fire me?”

Snyder frowned, “Besides the dress code your other rules were okay.”

“Just okay? I thought taking the mystery out of mystery meat was genius. “

“The school board thought so too. If you’re after my job…”

Spike held up his hands as the tiny man stepped into his personal space.

“I’m not after it. Wouldn’t take it if you paid me in gold coins.”

“Good. That’s one less problem I have to worry about. Now all that’s left is that Summers’ girl. Oh, she’ll end up behind bars on day.”

“You know, if you gave her a chance,” Giles said. “She might surprise you.”

“I only give chances to those who deserve them and that Buffy girl doesn’t deserve them.”

Snyder left the library and Spike laughed. Giles gave him a look.

“He thinks I want to be principal!” Spike laughed harder.

Giles laughed too. He could barely imagine Spike in a suit let alone head of a school. They laughed together then stopped with a cough. Giles went back to sorting through his books while Spike went back to reading and waiting for Xander.




They were sitting around, not talking. Willow, Jesse, Xander, and Buffy were doing homework on the center table while Spike was stretched out on the counter, he had his eyes closed and was pretending to sleep while he went over all the things he wanted to do to Xander when they got home. Giles was in his office going over some books that might help with the Anointed One. A crashing sound and a rock fell from one of the windows. Buffy caught it with one hand. Spike could see the rock from where he was sitting and could see the bracelet that was attaching a note to it.

“That’s Cordelia’s,” Spike said.

Buffy removed the note and read it, “Come to the Bronze before it opens or we make her a meal.”

“Well, I suspect they don’t mean they’re going to cook her a Sunday dinner.”

“Looks like I have to go save the day again,” Buffy said with a sigh.

“Great,” Jesse said. “I want the axe this time. Xander you can have the sword.”

“No, you’re not coming with.”

“But, Buffy, the note read ‘Trap for Buffy to come here alone and get killed.’ We’re not letting you go alone,” Willow said.

“I can’t protect you while I’m fighting. Look, I can handle this.”

“Right, Slayer. Let’s get a move on,” Spike said.

“Get a move on? I don’t trust you. You’re a vampire. An evil blood sucking vampire, no matter what you do or what you shove into you, you’ll always be one.”

“Hey!” Xander said offended. “I happen to shove things into Spike. Oh, I should not have said that. Can we forget I said that?”

“Buffy, I don’t know why you’re being such a bloody bitch, but this has to stop. You need help. You need my help. You’re wasting time.”

“Fine, just stay out of my way.”




They reached the Bronze with a few minutes to spare. Buffy had tried to lose Spike on the way, but he stuck with her and was now very pissed at her. He drummed his fingers against his arm as he waited for her to start moving again.

“Right, in we go,” she said while kicking down the door.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Spike said.

“Don’t be such a baby. There she is.”

A girl was sitting on the floor sobbing. They moved further into the Bronze and towards the girl. Spike pulled Buffy back.

“That’s not Cordelia.”

The girl pretending to be Cordelia vamped out, “Sorry, Cordelia had a prior engagement. I’m here to fill in.”

“Where is she?” Buffy asked.

“If I told, where would the fun be?”

Buffy grabbed her and slammed her down on the floor, “One more time, where is she?”

“We need to head back.”

“Why? This one is good to beat up.”

“That’s the point. It’s just one. If the trap was meant for us, wouldn’t there be more?”

“You’re right, but who would the trap before?”

The memory of the second rising hit Spike like a ton of bricks, “Of all the fucking rituals in all the fucking world. They’re going to try and do the second rising ritual. The ritual brings back a dusted vampire by sacrificing the people who were around when the vampire was staked.”

“You remember this now? You’re working for them! I know it!”

“Am not. We have to get to the library.”

“What do we do with her?”

“Bring her with.”




Spike shook the unconscious Xander awake. The library had been torn up and the only person they could find was Xander who had been lying unconscious on the floor. Xander opened his eyes, then he looked at Buffy. His gaze hardened and he glared at her.

“This is all your fault! If you weren’t acting like such a hardcore bitch and actually let us come with to help, none of this wouldn’t have happened. If they hurt Willow or Jesse, I’ll kill you. I will rip you open and tear out your heart.” Xander snarled at her.

Buffy seemed taken back by his comment, “Xander, I did what I thought was right.”

“No! You did what you thought was easy!”

Buffy ignored him and took of the vampire’s gag. The vampire they had dragged along looked defiantly at Buffy. Buffy grinned.

“We can do this the hard way or the extra hard way, either way ends with you talking and me staking.”

The vampire shivered with fear and Buffy approached her.




Buffy burst in through the doors. They were too late. The ritual had already started. Everyone was hanging upside down and Aura, Cordelia’s poor friend who had just needed a ride the night the Master, was bleeding from the throat. Buffy seemed conflicted.

“Xander and I will take care of your mates while you deal with the vampires.”

Buffy nodded and launched her attack on the vampires. Spike put the hand on the small of Xander’s back and pushed him towards a ladder. He shrugged off his duster and gave it to Xander. Xander looked at him with wide eyes.

“I’ll come back for it. Just get them free. I need to make sure that bird doesn’t bleed to death.”

Xander nodded and rushed up the ladder toward the chains. Spike peeled off his black shirt and ran towards the heavily bleeding girl. Her heart beat was slow and almost gone as Spike pressed shirt against her throat. He could almost taste the blood. It was killing him. He looked up and saw Xander distracted. He wouldn’t see. The girl was practically dead anyway. Spike pulled away his shirt and looked at the gushing blood. He sunk his fangs in and drank. Guilt flooded him almost instantly and he released in pain.

I wish I was free of this guilt.
I wish I had more control.


Spike bit back a scream as he felt fire burning in his chest. He gasped and saw a small white light floating away from him. He stared curiously at it retreating out the door before sinking his fangs back into the bleeding girl, consuming the last bit of life she had left. When she was dry, he ran out the door the white light had disappeared though, leaving Buffy and Xander to rescue everyone on their own.




William felt his skin tingle as he opened his eyes. He ran a hand through his curly, sandy-coloured hair. That was queer. He had not had curly, sandy-coloured hair since he was human. He got up and looked around the dark alley and stretched. He had complete control of his movements, there was nothing fighting against him telling him to wiggle his toes instead of his fingers. William smiled and began walking out of the alley. He was halfway down it when he realized he felt a breeze. He looked down and panicked.

“Where the devil are my clothes!?” He exclaimed.
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