WARNING: m/m sexual activity. Adult language. Story is generally
SUMMARY: 10 Years after the fall of Sunnydale, Xander has
distanced himself from his past life until a demon forces him to look
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing including the characters and products
named in this story. I do, however own an unused treadmill. If you
want to sue for that, help yourself.
Thanks to the wonderful Petxnd for the excellent banner.
True to his word, in little more than 5 minutes, Xander returned, black
damp hair smoothed back, dressed in a casual blue pullover and
snug, worn jeans. The sight made Spike openly oogle and nearly drool.
Xander purposefully ignored the vampire's response and slipped
his bare feet into a pair of loafers before heading out the door, his
heart pounded against his rib cage in concern for what was happening.
Spike grabbed his duster and quickly followed.
Then, with practiced expertise, Xander shut down the part of his brain
that wanted to think bad thoughts. It ignored the warnings bells and
flags that came with associating with a vampire that was so solidly
connected to the past. He told himself that he would do whatever
was necessary to save his friend. He would do anything for Kim.
Then he would walk away, again.
As always, when Xander got nervous, his mouth took over and ran
unchecked. It was a habit left over from the before time that he had
never been able to shake.
"Let's go. So as near as I can figure, Kim has been missing about
24 hours. Apparently the last anyone saw of him was when he left
the club at closing time. He usually likes to walk home, sometimes
through the park. You want to start there? Drive by and have a look?
I really think it's best if we stay away from the police considering I
knew all the missing men. Might look a tad on the suspicious side."
Xander reached the end of the walkway and stopped, very impressed.
"Damn, vampire business must be good, great car."
"Actually, it belongs to Angel Investigations. But, then, so do I, I guess."
Spike dropped into the drivers seat and waited till Xander climbed in
with him. He hated using sneak tactics on the seemingly trusting human
but had a funny feeling that spilling the beans about a sort of Scoobie
intervention would send him screaming off into the night.
Xander frowned. For some reason, it niggled at him to think that
Spike belonged to Angel in any possible way. Especially if it meant
Spike sneaked a glance sideways. He still couldn't believe the changes
time had made in Xander. On the surface, the human gave the impression
that he had completely discarded his past, given it, and the people in it, no
more than a passing thought.
Spike grinned. Last night told him that was not entirely true and he had
no intention of losing this nummy treat at least until he got behind the
name and bite request at the moment of orgasmic bliss.
Funny, but when the man had said it, the whole thing had the ring of
'done this before' to it.
"So, ten years is a long time. How come you never looked anyone up?
You and the rest of the do-gooders used to be tight as a virgins snatch.
Why the change?"
Xander turned his face away. He refused to discuss his nightmares
and fears so he used the pat lines that he served up to any one who asked
about his past.
"I've moved on. Whatever my life was in Sunnydale, it sank into the
earth with everything else. I'm not that boy anymore and I refuse to
Spike raised his eyebrows at the heat behind the words. This, he decided,
was another scab that needed picking.
"So, you don't think fucking me is a stroll down memory lane?"
Xander's face snapped around, searching Spike's for the truth.
"We didn't fuck. Did we fuck? No, if we had fucked, my clothes
wouldn't have been in the shape they were in when I woke up. I
thought you still had the soul. Doesn't that stop you from lying?"
"Every human walking the earth lies and most of them have souls."
Xander just shrugged and looked back out into the night. He
knew that was true. He was fairly sure his soul was firmly intact
and he had told more than one whopper.
"Hey, this isn't the way to the park. Where are we going?"
"Got some people gonna try to help us sort this problem out.
We are going to pop in and have a word or two with them
Suddenly, Xander had a very bad feeling. Almost like a skier
shushing down hill, looking back over his shoulder and watching
an avalanche closing in on him.
He stared out, trying to guess where they were going. He knew
they were in a elite part of town, a gated community, an area where
the owner of a gay dance club was seldom invited. He couldn't
imagine who a low rent vampire like Spike could possible know here.
With no further explanation, Spike slowed the BMW and, checking
the numbers painted on the curb, quickly located the house in question.
Xander looked all around. His heart rate accelerated and his breathing
came in short spurts.
This was not good. This felt like a dream. He felt sick and lightheaded.
Spike parked and jumped out. He circled the car and waited. Xander
stayed where he was. He rolled down the window and tried to look
as casual and relaxed as possible.
"I think I'll wait here. You go ahead and see whoever it is and fill
me in after."
Spike crouched down and looked, blue eyes into brown.
"You know it doesn't work that way, Pet. Somehow you are involved
and we need to figure this out together. As a boy, you were a white
knight. A champion for the cause. I know you are different now but
you are still Xander Harris and I can feel that your heart is still that of a
good man who wants to do the right thing. It's time to face the past
Xander stared past Spike's face to focus on the brightly lit windows of the
brick ranch house that sat back from the street. His voice dropped to little
more than a whisper. He knew with a nauseating certainty what was there.
"Please don't make me do this Spike. I don't think I can."
Carefully, Spike opened the passengers door and reached out his hand.
"Sure you can and I will be there to help you."
Xander swallowed around the heavy lump that was caught in his throat.
He took a deep breath and thought of Kim. He knew if anything happened
to him, or any of those other men, because Xander had turned his back, he
would never forgive himself.
Apparently white knighthood is a condition hard to shake.
He immediately cut off the little voice of self preservation that screamed at him
to run, hide, grab a stake and sing Dust In The Wind and he climbed out.
His hand tightly gripping Spike's.
Halfway up the neatly groomed brick walkway he stopped.
"Who's in there, Spike?"
"Some folks who love you and miss you very much Xander."
Willow paced the length of the living room for the hundredth time.
"What do you think is taking them so long? Maybe Xander just
refused to come. Maybe Spike scared him off. Do you think he's
off because of Spike? Maybe Angel never called Spike. Maybe..."
Giles set his tea cup down on the coaster, careful not to leave a
cup ring on the expensive table.
"Willow, do calm down. It has only been sun down for a short time
and we don't when Angel was able to reach Spike. It may take time.
We must be patient. Please do stop pacing."
Andrew sat on the cushioned window seat watching out into the
night. As the last house on a dead end street, there was no traffic
zipping by. If a car came this was, it was with intention.
He ignored Willow's incessant whining, Giles cup stirring, and
Wesley's muttering over whatever site he had on the screen of
He hadn't commented when he first noticed the headlights slowly approach.
He remained quietly alert as the dark car pulled up to the curb and shut
down. He watched intently as Spike got out and appeared to be trying
to coax his passenger out.
Finally when the two male figures started up the walk way he
leapt to his feet.
"They're here. Spike and Xander. They're here."
Everyone in the room froze and all eyes turned to the front door.
Just when they were beginning to think Andrew had been wrong, the