FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
GENRE : Slash
PROMPT: 016. Absurd.
WORD COUNT: 422 words
SUMMARY: When Buffy drops in for a surprise visit, Xander tries to keep her from finding out about Spike.
NOTES: X-Posted to lover100
DISCLAIMER: You recognize them? I don’t own them.
“Xander?” Buffy called, walking into his apartment. “We haven’t seen you in a couple of days.” She grimaced, noticing the clothing spread all around the room. “Xander?” She paused, laughter breaking the silence. She moved to the front of the bedroom door, her hand hovering just above the knob.
“Yes?” he appeared, wearing a pair of too tight black silk boxers. “What can I do for you?” He shut the door, hiding the knob behind him.
“We were getting worried about you.” she explained, glancing suspiciously around. “What are you hiding?”
“I have nothing to hide.” he muttered. “Can I offer you a nice glass of Chianti?” He gestured to the kitchen. “Maybe water?” He pulled the refrigerator open. “A cookie…maybe three?” Buffy blinked.
“Xander. If I didn’t know better. I’d swear you were hiding something.” she muttered, sipping warm tap water. “Although Spike’s wine…you’re not?”
“Not what?” Xander casually poured a glass of Pinot Noir from a carafe. He sipped it, struggling not to grimace.
“Sleeping with a vampire?” she asked, staring intently at his silk boxers. “Or a very skinny Goth man?”
“Buffy. I’ll get the name of a specialist for you. You’ve inhaled way too much vamp dust.” He dumped the wine down the drain. She shook her head.
“Whatever you say, Xan.” she said, opening his refrigerator and glancing through. “One question though.” Xander glanced up. “What is this?” She held out a brown glass bottle. “Since when do you drink Oneg?” Xander snatched the bottle, popped it open and sipped.
“Keeps me young.” he gagged. Buffy backed out, promising to call. As soon as the door shut, Xander lunged for the bathroom, where he fell to his knees, vomiting into the porcelain toilet.
“Pet. Is that bloodI smell?” Spike appeared in the doorway, wearing nothing but a white cotton sheet. “Hoped I was wearing off on you, but drinking blood? Absurd.” Xander rested his forehead on the cool porcelain.
“Buffy was onto us.” he murmured. “And I want you to myself a little longer. We all know if she finds out, once she gets over her horror, she’ll never leave us alone.” Spike lightly rubbed Xander’s back. “But human blood is disgusting “ Spike chuckled, turning the taps on the bathtub.
“No one told you to drink it, Pet.” he murmured, adding peach bath oil to the water. “Silly human.” He dropped the sheet, easing himself in. “I think a hot bath will help.” Xander flushed the toilet and slid the boxers off.
“Ai Ai, Captain.”