JenLea (bohofemm) wrote in bloodclaim,

Fic: What I Did For Love. 1/1

TITLE : What I Did For Love.
AUTHOR: bohofemm
FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
PAIRING: Spike/Xander.
GENRE : Slash
PROMPT: 009. Anything
WORD COUNT: 949 words.
WARNINGS: None. Angst.
NOTES: X-Posted to lover100. Set before Hells Bell. Thanks to kitty_alex for listening to me babble about it, and beta’ing it ! If you have no clue what a Gremlin is (and it's not a Mogwai!), Gremlin. Companion to Love Her Like You Can‘t Love Me. and These Words Should Belong to You.
DISCLAIMER: You recognize them? I don’t own them.

Oh, look. Another Bloody cow. And a Windmill!

If this was for anyone else but Xan, I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t be subjecting myself to a barrage of cows and windmills. I wouldn’t have borrowed a Gremlin from Clem, and I wouldn’t be driving up towards Sacramento.

He left a message for me at the bar to call him. I got curious, because he was SUPPOSED to be on his honeymoon. I called him back, he told me what happened and then asked me to come.

Turns out he ran straight to the bus station, bought a ticket on the next bus leaving and only had enough for a motel room. He needed me to bring him three things.
Money. Clothes. Me.

He actually told me to bring myself.

So, I have been driving most of the night, and according to the bloke at the last place I stopped in for gas, I am a little over forty minutes away from ‘The Good Feelings Motel’.

Note to self: After I make sure he’s okay, Lecture Xan on choosing a motel called ‘The Good Feelings”.

Why am I doing this? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak? Is he going to laugh at the former Big Bad driving a Gremlin?

Oh. Look, Change in scenery. A horse instead of a cow.

The radio gets nothing out here, except preaching and country. I don’t know what’s worse. My wife leaving me or the sin that will condemn my mortal soul to the fiery pits of hell.

Well. I don’t have a wife…and it’s a bit late to save my mortal soul. Do I count Xan as my wife?

He better be grateful for this.

I settle on the country station. It’s better than the preaching. At least, I think it is. Plus I keep seeing signs for this motel. Good thing it’s close. The sun’s due up soon, and Big Pile of Dust can’t drive.

Why was I so quick to help him? Am I going to regret this in the morning?

I pull into the motel parking lot, searching for the piece of paper with his room number written on it. I finally find it, written on the back of the Slayer’s phone bill. Don’t ask how I got that. I’m not even sure myself.


I drag a suitcase and cooler through the motel halls. It’s strangely quiet, and smells like cheap cleanser. If this place is supposed to bring “Good Feelings”, it needs to switch to a better scented cleaning supply.

I knock on the door. He better answer. This place is starting to get to me, after only five minutes.

He answers. God. He looks terrible. He obviously needs some guidance.

“You came.” He smiles. I get the distinct feeling he hasn’t done much smiling since yesterday.

“In a Gremlin.” I add, pushing my way into the room. The smell of cheap cleanser overpowers me.

“You drove here in a Gremlin?” He sits on the bed and crosses his legs.

“Had to borrow a car and Clem had a Gremlin.” He nods. “Consider yourself special.” I glance around. “Mind if I get some rest?” After the drive I made, I am exhausted. I sprawl across a bed. As I settle down, I realize Xander has curled up next to me.

“I don’t want to sleep alone.” He shakes his head.

Just like he did for me, I held him through the day, sleeping maybe five minutes at the most. It just looked like he wanted comfort. So, I watched over him, until he rolled over, and stared at me.

“Why are you so good to me?” he asks. “I was such an ass to you, and yet, you were right there when I needed you.” I just stare at him.

“Doesn’t mean I love you any less.” I murmur. He curls closer to me. “You’re one of the few good things to happen to me.”

“Am I really?” He rests his head on my shoulder.

“Yes,” I stare at the ceiling.

“God. I hurt her. I hurt you.”

“Years ago, Pet.” I don’t care how blunt I am. I speak the truth.

“Will you give me a second chance?” My ears perk up. Is he serious?

“Oh Pet.” I can’t believe I’m hearing this. “I’d love to.” He perks up. “But I want to take it slow.” He sighs. “You just got done with Anya. Let’s take it one day at a time, but know I do love you.” He sighs again.


“Yes.” I sigh too. He blinks.

“I want to kiss you.” Who is this and where is my Xan? Has almost getting married scrambled his brain?

“Um…” He’s left me speechless. “If you want to.” He moves close to me, and gently presses his lips against mine. He pulls away, our eyes suddenly connected.

“That’s the best kiss I’ve had in years.” I nod. Unlike the last time we kissed, I taste eternity. It sounds cheesy, but there was something in this kiss that said Not letting you go.

I sit up, determined. I’ve watched him sleep all day, and drove all last night. Plus, this motel room is awful. The cleanser smell has been irritating me all day. I’ve also heard the faint creaking of bedsprings for the last hour, coming from the room next to us.

“Let’s grab some take-out.” I stand. “Brought my own blood, so, we don’t have to worry about that.” I reach out for his hand. As he slips his hand into mine, he looks baffled. I shrug. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He nods.

“So have I. So have I.”
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