Series Title: Expectant Hell
Chapter Title: Seven Weeks
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters.
Summary: A demon casts a spell on Xander. Willow reverses the spell, but weeks later, they find it has one huge side effect.
Warnings: Male Pregnancy
Notes: Thanks to kimalis for betaing!
Previous Chapters: You can find previous chapters here.
"Well." The doctor faced the monitor towards Xander. "You have a seemingly healthy seven week old fetus." He gently traced the fetus' outline on the screen.
Doctor Jones was a green scaled demon. He had yellow eyes and two blue horns sticking out of his shaggy black hair. He waited as Spike and Xander took in the sight.
Spike squinted at it, "That thing in there? Looks a bit like a lizard, don't it, Xan?"
Xander scowled, "Why did I bring you along again?"
"Because I'm the other father, and you didn't want to be alone," he muttered.
The doctor tilted his head to the side, "Gentlemen. I think we have another baby in here."
"Twins," Xander said excitedly.
Spike groaned, "Two little blighters? What did I do to deserve this? Oh yeah. The mass murdering bit."
Xander reached over, smacking Spike in the back of the head. "Be nice. Those are our babies."
Spike glared at him, "They're your babies. I just happened to accidently spawn the things. Should be glad it was me. Could have been a six hundred pound Chirago demon."
"And then, they would have had lullabies." Xander said. "You're not making me do this alone!"
"Who said anything about doing this alone? I just said they were your babies."
"OUR babies," Xander said with a glare.
"Doc, are these mood swings normal for his type of pregnancy and could you give him something to make him not moody? It's getting on my bloody nerves."
"It's a normal pregnancy." The doctor said. "You just have to deal with the mood swings. Everything looks normal." He turned to Spike. "You also might want to be on the watch for your sire."
"Why?" Spike asked nervously.
"This only happened once before, and the vampire's sire had the overwhelming instinct to be near the couple at all times."
"Bloody hell," Spike said wanting to crush something. "Dru is going to come? I know she's one card short of a full tarot card deck, but she and Miss Edith are going to have a good go with this."
Xander snorted and laughed, "A doll is going to make fun of you."
"And you'll have to deal with her too." Spike grinned wickedly. "She loves a good pregnant woman. It was her favorite meal." Xander yelped.
"Oh, and Spike? You can't stress him." the doctor added.
Spike scowled, "Can I at least still smoke?"
"Not around him." the doctor said. "He's breathing for three."
Spike glared at Xander, "If I wasn't chipped..."
Xander reached out, smacking him in the back of the head, "Be happy. Lois and Bruce need happy dads."
“Oh, hell no. No way. I am not having a son named Bruce and a daughter named Lois."
"What are good names to you then?" Xander asked.
"Needs a good strong name. William the Bloody Junior and Ophelia. But hopefully she won't fall in love with the prince of Denmark and go insane."
"We are not naming our son William the Bloody Junior." Xander muttered.
The doctor chuckled, "You don't even know the sexes yet, you have whole thirty weeks to figure out names."
"Wait," Xander said. "I thought I had thirty-three weeks left."
"Twins come earlier than normal babies. I want to do the c-section before your water breaks."
"C-section?" Xander flinched. "I hate surgery. Can't we go natural?"
"I recommend against it. We have no way of knowing where the babies would come out. And we don't want to endanger mother OR child."
Spike bit his tongue trying hard not to further torment Xander about the surgery, "It'll be fine, Xander. They'll drug you up with the best morphine insurance can buy."
"Morphine brings the blood pressure too low. And really we can't afford that. We use something else now. It will keep you awake and numb the pain," the doctor said. "Well, Gentlemen, visit me in a month." He guided them out the door. "My secretary will make your appointment. Congratulations on your healthy babies that have heartbeats."
"Heartbeats?" Spike asked. The doctor nodded. "That means they're alive!"
"You're happy about that?" Xander asked curiously. "Thought you might be upset, you know, not taking after you in the vampiness."
"Means they'll be normal. See the sun. And besides, I'd rather them get my eyes."
"All this coming from Mr. 'They're yours, not ours.' I think it's cute though. Continue. It pleases me."
Spike ground his teeth, "I ain't cute."
"Right." Xander muttered. Spike noticed him, protectively embracing his stomach.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Xander nervously chuckled, "I just get this feeling that I need to protect them."
Spike tried not to look hurt, "Protecting them from me?"
"Not from you." Xander said quietly. "Just everyone and everything. They're going to need me to protect them for nine months."
"Oh. Well, I'm sure they're tough. Half-vamp, ain't they? Maybe to be on the safe side, you should you know, share my blood bags. If you don't tell you-know-who on me."
"With a hint of cinnamon?" Xander asked expectantly.
Spike smiled, "Whatever you want. Better go tell Rupert about our twins then, huh? He'll want to research them properly and all that nonsense."
"Can we keep it a secret?" Xander asked, clasping his stomach even tighter. "I feel like this should be a family secret for a little while."
Spike was startled a bit but he put a hand over Xander's, "Family secret, I got it."
"We're going to be parents. It makes us a family, although we ‘hate’ each other." Xander murmured, gripping Spike's hand.
"Think we're mojoed so we can protect the babies better?" He gave a small squeeze and led him to Xander's car.
"I don't know. I just know I'm going to get fat, and have to deal with Dru." Xander muttered.
He opened the passenger side door for Xander, "Don't worry about Dru. Will probably come to down thinking the babies are here to fulfill some kind of prophecy or something and will treat them like gods. Remind me not to mention that to the Watcher. He'd actually look into it."
"What about getting fat?" Xander asked.
Spike laughed and shut the door. He got into the driver's seat, "Buckle up." He looked confused. "I said 'Buckle up'. I SAID 'Buckle up'. I'm mojoed. I'm convinced of it."
"Well, that just means we'll make good parents." Xander jerked his head. "Can we stop for chocolate swirl ice cream?"
"Nothing weird in it. I happen the like chocolate swirl ice cream and plan to continue eating it without you ruining it for me."
Xander tried to ignore the knots in his stomach. It could have been the babies, but he was pretty sure it was the beginning of something else. Spike pulled in front of the ice cream parlor, doing the strange ritual that he developed of rushing out of the driver's seat to open the passenger door for the expecting Xander. He glanced away, trying to pretend the door opened on its own free will and he had nothing to do with it.
"What are you doing?" Xander asked, stepping out. "I'm pregnant. Not an invalid." He paused. "Oh God. I really said that didn't I?"
"Sure, we ain't mojoed, Xan? Because I am getting the urge to open another door for you and-" He could barely bring himself to say it. "And pay for your ice cream."
"I don't know. Giles did say something about the Jenlanar cherishing their young above everything else."
"So, the bits are doing this to me then?"
"Quite possibly. Or maybe you actually want to be a father."
"Dunno. I'm a vampire. I'm not supposed to be a father." He opened the door and waited for Xander.
Xander walked through. "Your children would be as manipulative as you."
"Think so? You think they can go game face or do you think they're all human? Well, can't be all human if they are craving blood." Spike cringed. "Okay, maybe I want to be a father just a little bit."
"Told you so." Xander murmured. "So am I. Although. I never thought’d be knocked up."
Spike tilted his head back, "Go find a seat. I'll get your chocolate swirl and anything else you might want. It's happened, they're there. Might as well just let them come and enjoy what time we got left until we're being vomited on and changing nappies."
"You'll be the one handling diaper duty." Xander muttered. "I'll do spit up."
“Oi, no more muttering or sulking. I’m going to buy you an ice cream. Alright, pet?”
"Fine." Xander whispered. He glanced around. "Honest answer. Am I showing yet?"
"Not at all, Xan. You still look normal." Spike said quickly, not really wanting to make a scene. Stooping over him, he softly growled. "Remember where you are. We don't want people knowing you're pregnant."
Xander's eyes widened, "I forgot! I'll go sit down." Xander mimicked zipping his lip. "No more talk of you know what. Family secret."
Spike blinked. Was Xander serious? Were they a family? What did this all mean? It was all very confusing. But Spike didn't have time to ask as Xander scurried away to the table farthest away from most of the humans in the room. Spike really believed it was the spell responsible for the overprotective behavior or the bits really were something that needed protecting. He didn't know. He just got them their ice cream and sat down with him.
"You're cute." Spike spoke softly. He quickly shoved a bite of ice cream in his mouth. Had he really said that?
Xander looked up from his ice cream, "Did you say something?"
"I said you're a pig. You're eating too fast. You'll give you and the bits a brain freeze."
Xander blinked back tears. "That couldn't hurt them, could it? I don't want to freeze my babies!"
Spike grabbed Xander's hand trying to calm him down, "It was a joke, Xan. You know, ha ha. It can't hurt them."
Xander nodded. "What are we going to tell the gang? I don't want to tell them about the twins yet but they're going to ask questions!"
"What did I say? No worrying, no sulking, just eat your ice cream. Good for the soul. Do you think they have souls?"
"Why wouldn't they have souls? They're perfectly precious and perfect in every way." Xander cooed, still spooning ice cream in his mouth.
"Dunno. I don't have a soul. But they have heartbeats, so that's a good sign. How can I be a good da though? I'll never be able to go outside and play with them or take them to a park unless it's after sun down. The park isn't exactly safe after sun down."
Xander reached over and gripped Spike's hand. "That's why God invented backyards. And we'll survive. People survive by night in Southern California anyway. During the summer."
"Yeah, but pet." He pulled his hand out of Xander's grip and counted on his fingers. "I drink blood. No sun. No soul. And we'll have to worry about my crazy sire. I ain't exactly dad material."
"What happened to her treating them like Gods?" Xander asked. "And look what I had for parents. My dad was awful. I didn't turn out half bad."
"That's what I'm worried about. What if she takes it too far? Your dad was worse than a mass murdering vampire who tortured his victims for fun then ate them?"
"You'll do fine." Xander said quietly with a smile. "I'm sure of it," He yawned sleepily. "Can we leave before I pass out in the ice cream?"
"See, now I know you're spelled. You didn't even flinch at that. Come on, let's get you home." He got up then helped Xander up.
Xander yawned, leaning on Spike's shoulder. He'd never been this exhausted before. As soon as he was in the passenger seat and buckled in, he was sound asleep. Spike ruffled his hair and gave a half smile. He wondered how he got into these messes. He should be caring about the whelp like this. Maybe he just was attracted to people that needed him to take care of them. He shook his head and sighed. He'd just drop Xander off and go.
As soon as he pulled up to the driveway of Xander's apartment, he realized he couldn't wake him up. He was just too peaceful.
"Grab around my neck." He whispered, not wanting to fully wake the man.
Xander did as he was told, "We're home?"
"Yeah, Pet." Spike said softly, picking him up. "You fell asleep."
"Oh, okay. You can come into my place any time. That works as an invite, right?"
"Yes." Spike said, moving silently up the stairs. "It does."
"You can stay in bed with me. I don't mind."
Spike was moved by the man's offer. It was so sweet, and very unlike Xander. The more the night went on, the more he was convinced the spell was at fault.
"Please stay, Spike," Xander begged. "I don't want to be alone. Willow will coddle me, Buffy will talk about shopping, and Giles will just keep his nose buried in his books. Please, I need you."
"I'll stay," Spike said a bit exasperated. "I'll stay." He gently eased Xander into the bed, and then removed their shoes and slid in beside him. He draped his hand over Xander letting his hand rest on his stomach. He sighed and closed his eyes, falling asleep next to Xander.