Series Title: Expectant Hell
Chapter Title: Nine Weeks
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters.
Summary: A demon casts a spell on Xander. Willow reverses the spell, but weeks later, they find it has one huge side effect.
Warnings: Male Pregnancy
Notes: Thanks to kimalis for betaing!
Previous Chapters: You can find previous chapters here.
"I'm surprised you're not hungry." Spike said, setting the mug in front of Xander. "Don't worry. It's decaffeinated."
"It's morning sickness." Xander muttered, sipping the mug. Glancing around, he blinked. "Open the door?" Spike warily decided it was best to listen to him. Opening the door, he was startled to find Drusilla standing outside. "You can come in." Spike jerked his head toward Xander.
"How'd you know she was outside?"
Drusilla walked in holding a shopping back and smiling, "Ophelia knows her Grandmummy."
Spike cocked an eyebrow at Xander, "Have you talked?"
"Of course not, dear heart," Drusilla said patting Spike's arm. "The little one told me. I brought her presents."
She put the shopping back down on the table where Xander was sitting. She pulled out a few containers of blood, Miss Edith, a finely dressed male porcelain doll, a tarot card deck, and a set of throwing knives which she explained were "for the hunter."
"The hunter?" Spike asked uneasily. He glanced to Xander, who seemed excited.
"I'm glad you're here!" he exclaimed. "I was actually wondering when you would show up." He eased his shirt up, and allowed her to rest her hand on his barely-there belly.
"You're letting her touch you?"
Xander cocked his head to the side confused, "She's their grandmother. She's family. Why wouldn't I?"
"I knew it." Spike muttered, resting his forehead on the wall. "I knew something weird was going on. What if she's the reason I'm acting all gooey?"
Drusilla walked over to Spike putting the doll in his face, "Burdened with gifts. Not way to treat the seer or the hunter. Be good Daddy, not like old Daddy. Do not walk where those cannot follow."
"Okay, Dru." Spike said. "Take a seat. Xan and I will be out there." He turned around to see Xander disappearing into the bathroom. "As soon as he's done being sick."
"Poor vessel." she muttered.
"Vessel?" Spike asked her.
She nodded and Xander came back into the room.
"Isn't morning sickness only supposed to happen in the morning?" Xander asked.
"According to that book, it can happen all day." Spike replied. "Apparently, we're having a seer. Named. Ophelia."
"Oh wow." Xander settled on the couch. "Ophelia."
"That's the name she picked," Drusilla said coming over to put the doll down by Xander. "He must drink though. Brought blood just for him."
She pointed to the table and waited as Spike went to retrieve it. He picked up a container and opened it.
"The strongest there is." she confirmed. "Ophelia needs it to make her strong." She gently scratched her wrist enough to draw blood, and held it to Xander's mouth. "Just one for the vessel."
Much to Spike and Xander's surprise, Xander latched onto her wrist and began to drink.
"Now that's just- There aren't really words to describe just how insane that is."
Drusilla drew her wrist back. "Enough. More next month."
"That was scarily good." Xander remarked.
"So these," Spike said holding up a container, "are just if you can't give him blood? That's very smart or is it the bit dictating all this?"
"The little seer needs to develop her sight."
Xander put his hand on his stomach, "I'm carrying a seer. That's amazing."
"Spike should give his blood too. Little hunter won't develop properly at all without it."
"Now?" Spike asked in disbelief.
"Do not walk where one cannot follow. Do not allow one power and the other none. It will upset the balance," she said pointedly.
Taking this as 'yes', Spike bit into his wrist and offered it to Xander. Xander gently pressed his mouth to the wound, and drank. He couldn't describe the taste, but he knew he liked it.
"Enough." Drusilla held up a hand.
Xander withdrew his mouth, "I should be more freaked out that I'm drinking blood and liking it, shouldn't I?"
"I think it's Ophelia's doing." Spike said. "The books all say babies know what they need,"
"I want to call her Lia for short," Xander said absent-mindedly running his hand over his stomach.
"Lia. Alright." Spike said. He glanced around. "We probably shouldn't mention anything to Buffy about our guest." He nodded towards Drusilla.
Xander frowned, "Yeah. I'm more concerned where she's going to stay. I don't want to put her on the couch and the spare room is being turned into a nursery."
"She'll be happy in our walk-in closet. We've got that cot in there anyway." He wanted Drusilla near him at all times, just in case she got any odd ideas.
"She can't sleep on a cot! She's the guest! Well, I'll take the couch and you can have the cot."
"My pregnant uh, something is not sleeping on the- Wait! We're bloody morons." He pulled Xander to his feet. "The couch is a pull out!"
Xander pouted, "I'm not a moron. I just forgot. I haven't used the pull out feature since I moved in."
"Don't pout, Love." Spike said.
Xander considered it, "Nope. I’ll pout all I want." He picked up the doll Drusilla kept trying to give him. "I guess you're Lia's equivalent of Miss Edith. Welcome to the family."
"If you can't beat them, join them." Spike muttered under his breath. "He needs a name."
"The little bundle calls him Hamlet." Drusilla chimed in.
"Not only is she a seer, she's a smart one," Xander cooed proudly.
Spike rolled his eyes, "I think the little one is just picking names from our heads. Just ones she likes and knows go together. I know I've read Hamlet, have you?"
"Cliff notes version." Xander admitted. "What time is it?"
"Six-fifteen. Why?" Spike asked. His eyes widened. "Bloody Hell. We're almost an hour late for a Scooby meeting. Dru, we shouldn't be long."
She smiled, "I will go out and play then."
"Be careful!" Xander called. "We don't need Grandmummy getting staked!" He glanced to Spike, who was giving him an odd look. "What?"
"I'm beginning to wonder about those two in there."
"It's not like I approve," he said watching Drusilla grab Miss Edith and leave. "It's just I don't want our family broken up."
"Let's go, before the Slayer tries to stake me" Spike said. "We can at least blame your sense of time."
"And that I'm hungry. Can I have something to eat before I go?"
"Granola only, Pet." Spike handed him two chocolate chip granola bars. "We really have to get going."
Xander scowled and opened one of the granola bars, "They taste like cardboard, chocolate chips or not."
Spike rolled his eyes and pushed Xander out the door, "Don't care. You need to watch what you eat for the bits."
They arrived at the Magic Box ten minutes later. An angry Buffy met them at the door.
"We were getting ready to send a search party!"
"Hello to you too, Buffy." Spike said forcing a smile. "He had morning sickness, then he had to pee, then he got hungry. Bits are more important than a stupid Scooby meeting."
"Doesn't morning sickness happen in the morning?”
"It's a big lie," Xander said with a deep pout. "They should call it all-the-time sickness."
"If you say so. How are you feeling?" She cocked her head to the side. "You look like you're getting a little bigger."
Xander crossed his hands over his stomach, "Do you think so? I thought my jeans were a bit snug."
"Is this a meeting or are we all here to make Xander feel self-conscious? Because if it is, I can do that at home," Spike said glaring at Buffy.
"We still have no clue what's on the missing page." Giles said. "Right now, we just want an update. To know if there's anything abnormal the pregnancy."
"Babies are as normal as they are going to get," Xander said quickly.
"Missing page? What missing page?" Spike asked.
"There's a missing page in the chapter of Jenlanar mating rituals," Giles said. "I haven't been able to track down another copy of it."
"You've been researching them? Why? What are you hoping to find out?"
"Exactly what’s in there," Buffy pointed to Xander's stomach.
Xander put his arms around his stomach defensively, "Our babies, that's what's in there!"
"Giles, Buffy. Leave him alone. He shouldn't be stressed." Willow said. "They have human hearts. I saw them."
"You saw them?" Buffy asked. "When did you see them?"
"On the ultrasound Spike showed me."
"How come I haven't seen? I should get to see it. I'm your friend too."
Spike glanced to Xander, who nodded. Pulling out his wallet, he rifled through it, before handing her a small folded piece of paper. "Promise me you won't hurt them." She nodded. He let go.
"They look like lizards," Buffy looking at the paper said.
"I think they're cute," Willow said.
"And they're both only the size of a grape!" Spike added.
"See, that's cute. Little grape babies," she cooed.
"Buffy, you're scaring me," Xander clinging to Spike.
"It's not my fault. It's like those little model houses with all the tiny furniture. You look at how small everything is and you can't help but think it's cute."
"And that maternal instinct." Willow added. "Women go gaga over the pregnant. It's a proven fact."
Spike felt something tiny reach out and touch his mind. It was more of a feeling that communicated hunger. He reached into his pocket and pulled out another granola bar for Xander. He took the paper back from Buffy and put it back in his wallet.
"Yippie, more cardboard," Xander said opening one. "I don't know how you do that. It's cool. Sometimes, I won't even say anything and he'll know I'm hungry or he'll run to the store and pick up my craving and the one I'm having next."
"That's odd." Giles commented.
Spike elbowed Xander.
"First, you feed me cardboard, and now you're elbowing me." Xander pouted.
"Just keeping your best interests in mind, pet."
"Anyway, we have to get back. We have a visitor who’s roaming the town."
"Xander's second cousin; very anti-social," Spike added with a glare.
"My second cousin?" Xander looked baffled.
"Yes, you know, Peter. He bought that doll for if one of the bits is female. Your second cousin."
"OH! Peter. Riiiight," Xander said finally catching on. "Spike, we need to stop at Walmart."
"What do we need to go to Walmart for?"
Xander pulled Spike close to him. "I think I might need a bra."
Spike's eyes widened, "You need what!?"
"What do you need that for? Are you getting- Are they- I can't say it."
"It’s not what you’re thinking! It’s just a little swelling,” Xander blushed. “I noticed it this morning."
"Oh," Spike chuckled. "Too bad I'm not supposed to stress you. Shopping for could have been fun."
"I'm embarrassed enough to even admit it!"
"Tell me the size and I'll run in."
"What do I know? The second to last smallest one they have?"
Spike tried not to laugh, "Oh, you're actually going to have to try them on." He gripped a shelf to try and keep himself stable.
While pushing Spike out of the magic shop, he called goodbye to Buffy, Willow and Giles. "Can't you guess? You did this for Dru!"
Spike helped Xander into his car parked in front of the shop. "It's not like I can just look at them and tell what size you are. I ain't that good."
"Yes. You can. ‘Try a 34.’ I was with Dawn when she bought her first one."
Spike got into the car, made sure Xander's seat belt was fastened, then drove away.
"That wasn't her cup size and I dunno if they make bras big enough to fit you. They're made more for narrower bodies. I still like your chest though, love your chest. Just dunno if there's a bra to fit on it."
"It can wait for a week." Xander nodded. "But if it starts becoming noticeable..."
"I'll get you an extremely baggy shirt." Spike finished for him.
"Fine." Xander pouted. "I can't believe we're having a psychic daughter."
"I wish Dru would say more about the 'hunter' though."
He pulled into the space reserved for Xander's car at the apartment complex.
"That's Dru for you."
Spike led Xander back up to the apartment. Xander removed his shoes and plopped down on the couch.
"I'll get your chocolate ice cream," Spike said moving into the kitchen.
"No ice cream right now."
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Xander shrugged, "Just don't feel like ice cream. I'll take chicken broth though."
"Feeling upset? Was it something I said?" Spike asked while he heated up the broth for Xander.
"No." he muttered. "Stomach's kind of upset. Don't think Lia likes cardboard."
"You have to eat them though. They're good for you and her." He came into the living room and handed him the bowl. "You have to be careful what you say to Giles though."
"Why? About what?"
Spike sat next to him and sighed, "You know what about."
"No, I don't." Xander sipped the broth. "Please enlighten the dense pregnant man."
"Lia tells me what you want, love. They find out you have a psychic baby in there, what are they going to assume?"
"She's a demon." Xander set the bowl aside. "I suddenly don't feel well. Mind fixing the couch for me?"
"Yeah, sure." Spike got up then helped up Xander. "Sorry for upsetting you. You know I don't mean to."
"It's cool." he said. "It's just so weird for me. It's hard enough to be pregnant. Then, one week, you're mentioning psychic babies, and the next, I can't. I'm drinking blood and liking it."
"I know, I know. That's before though. They're doing research and they want to fix you anyway they can." Spike began removing the cushions. "If they think the baby is a threat they might try something. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a vampire and I'll never trust the slayer or her watcher."
"I don't need to be fixed. I think Lia takes after your side of the family."
Spike moved the coffee table out of the way and pulled out the bed, "My side of the family?"
"She does have identical powers to your Sire."
"Have to worry then," Spike said with a chuckle. "Hopefully Lia won't inherit Dru's knack for thrall. Where do you keep the linens for this, pet?"
"Check the closet in the bathroom,” Xander paused. “I'm scared."
"She probably won't have thrall," Spike said grasping his hand. "Need to learn when I joke, love."
"Not that." Xander glanced down at his stomach. "Of just being a parent."
"I think you'll make a great one."
"No fretting." Xander said. "Feels weird to definitely know we're having a girl so early."
"I'm not very far along. We shouldn't definitely know for another three months. Just one more thing to remind me this isn't a normal pregnancy."
"Yeah, I keep forgetting about that. And it is normal. She's healthy and going to be a regular chatterbox when she learns to talk outside her mind. Will have to worry about that. Going to really have to encourage her to use words vocally."
"One more thing to worry about."
"If she's like me, she'll take to it quickly then we'll wonder why we even tried teaching her to talk."
"Oh God. Another Spike in the house." He sat on the bed. "Favor?" Spike glanced up. "Hold me."
Spike sat down next to him and held him, "Really that scary thinking they'll be another me here?"
"Well, kind of. I love you but you're kind of-"
Spike cut him off, "What did you say?"
"You should be happy though. It means I still think of you as the big bad."
"No the other thing after that."
"I love you?"
"I've only been here two weeks; can you really say that to me and mean it?"
"I think so."
"Why, pet? Is it because of the bits?"
"No. I love you."
Spike shifted in his game face, "Can you really love this?"
Xander reached out, and gently touched his face. "Yes."
Spike shifted back and smiled, "I'm going to go get those linens then. Don't want you sleeping on a bare mattress."
"I know every parent thinks their baby is special, but I think there's something special about these babies." Xander stood up. "I really do."
Spike leaned back and looked at him before getting up himself, "What do you think the other one does? Shoot fireballs or something?"
"Probably has heart like me. At least, I'd like to think so."
"And a really good right hook if he's taking after you."
"I have a good right hook?" Xander grinned.
"Knocked me on my arse good couple of times."
"Nice." Xander glanced down. "I can't believe I'm getting fat."
"You ain't getting fat. You're just with childer." Spike grabbed his ass. "Now get your sexy arse out my way so I can get you into bed."
Xander backed up, "Remind me to ask the doctor about certain activities."
"Wouldn't want to scar the poor things."
Spike went into the bathroom then came out with all the blankets and pillows he could carry. He put them on the floor next to the bed then proceeded get it ready for Xander.
"Scarring them would probably be bad. Wonder where Dru is."
"Probably in the park. She likes to swing after she eats."
"Should we feel bad for setting her on Sunnydale?"
"Maybe you should. Just try to remember only difference between her and me is a hunk of metal situated in my brain."
Spike finished and helped Xander into bed.
"I'm not an invalid, you know." Xander said. He watched as Spike pulled his shirt up and rested his cheek on his barely swollen stomach."What are you doing?"
"Getting them used to their da."
"Well, if they like you only as half as much as I like you, we shouldn't have a problem."
"You're sweet." Spike grinned goofily. He pressed his lips to the stomach, and whispered something virtually inaudible.
"What did you say?" Xander asked.
"I said ‘I hope you two turn out more like Xander than me.’"
"Why?" Xander lightly threaded his fingers through Spike's hair.
"Because you've got better hair. Mine's a curly mess if I leave it ungelled."
"I think that'd be cute."
"You've never seen me before I cut and dyed it. It was a mess of curly blonde hair."
"Curly is cute. Imagine. A Dru-like little girl with perfect blonde curls!" Xander cooed.
"And bright brown eyes?" Spike teased.
"Blue." Xander replied.
"No, the other one has to have your dark hair and blue eyes, the contrast would be perfect."
"Whatever you want, Spike," Xander said with a smile. "But, you'll protect them from Buffy?"
"You give up too easy, Harris." Spike stroked his stomach. "But, I can't really. Well, I could. Just means whatever sharp object she was throwing hits me instead of them."
Xander's eyes widened in horror, "You don't think she would, do you?"
"I can't go hand to hand with her without feeling intense pain so if she did attack let's hope she's throwing something."
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. I’m sure she won’t attack.”
Spike repositioned himself so he was sitting up next to Xander. Xander settled his head against Spike's shoulder.
"This is all so new. But I'm glad I'm with you."
"Me too." Spike grabbed his hand. "Thanks for choosing me, pet. Even if you don't remember."