Summary: After his relationship with Anya fizzles out Xander and Spike become lovers. Xander’s insecurities lead him to seek help from
Notes: AU begins S6 replacing Hells Bells. No Dawn, Buffy didn’t die, and Season 6 Spuffy? Eewww no.
Feedback and con crit appreciated and lusted for
Disclaimer: not mine, all belongs to Joss and Co. Damn them. And bless them.
Warning: Nekididity and man sex. Woohoo!
Other chapters are here
Beta love to kitty_alex
He put his foot down and headed home. Traffic was mild, late afternoon on a Saturday but he still managed to catch a red light. Sitting there, car idling, he flipped through the books
Back at home, Xander collected the blood cooler, reminding himself to see Tom about the invoice. The apartment was quiet and he knew immediately that Spike was not there. Nevertheless, he did a lap of all the rooms checking but it was as he suspected. He was alone.
Xander stood in the middle of the bedroom in two minds. Stay here and wait for Spike, hoping that he hadn’t screwed up so royally that Spike would take off; or go out and look for him. But look where? It was a big town, it was still light, he could be in any number of places and if Xander went out searching they could easily pass each other and not realise. Best if he waited here, though God only knew how he would fill the time without slowly going mad.
He felt an incredible longing for Spike. More so than any other time they had been apart this week. Xander guessed it was another thing he could blame on this spell. How many other things would crop up? He supposed Anya was right and new found sexual stamina was another factor; perhaps too, his coordination at the cemetery. Spike had noticed that and wrongly assumed he’d been training. There could be any number of new things happening to him now, or yet to happen.
Xander decided the best thing for him to do would be to keep busy. He stripped off his clothes, took a long hot shower, leaving all the doors open so he would hear if Spike came home. The soap smell again irritated him more than usual and he made a mental note to get something milder, if it bothered him it must be hell for Spike. Maybe that was another thing. He recalled how strongly he could detect Spike’s scent that morning and even the blood he’d had during the night.
In the kitchen Xander made himself a sandwich and tried to eat but it felt dry and tasteless. After one or two bites he stuffed the plate into the refrigerator and dropped himself down onto the couch with the books, glancing at the front door to make sure he’d left it unlocked. Still light outside so unlikely Spike would turn up for a while yet. Goddamn it, the anxiety was almost unbearable. It was almost like an ache in his gut.
He jumped back up again and paced the living room, looking out the window every now and then. Down the short corridor to pace around the bedroom, check out the window. As he turned from closing the drapes, his foot caught on something. Black, soft, one of Spike’s shirts. Xander picked it up and immediately Spike’s scent filled his nostrils. He held it to his nose and breathed deeply, the scent calming him immensely.
He took the shirt to the living room with him and slung it around his neck. Xander forced himself to open the first book. He settled back into the couch and began to read. The Council’s book was very involved. Full of Watcher’s accounts of their time with their Slayers, he had to skim each page for the information he needed. About three-quarters of the way through he found what he was looking for. A report from a Watcher about a master and human consort he’d become familiar with. There was some description of their relationship, apparently they were especially close and shared some links that neither would discuss with the Watcher. Basically it suggested they were inseparable. The human became almost on a level with his master with regard to skills, however shared none of the traits that made vampires vulnerable. The Watcher’s opinion of this relationship was that no harm had come to the human through the shift to consort and wouldn’t unless the vampire master itself came to grief. Then, it appeared, the consort would also die unless quickly claimed by another master.
Xander glanced up at the clock- midnight. Still no Spike. He stood and did another lap of the apartment, checking again that the door was unlocked, looking out the windows and down the street. Into the bedroom, same thing. No Spike visible out the window. How many demons did Spike need to kill before he cleansed himself of his anger? Xander knew he’d upset Spike more than he’d suspected. He viciously kicked at the few things laying on the floor and hurled a small cushion from the chair against the far wall. Still unsatisfied but reluctant to give in to his anger, he bunched up the shirt of Spike’s that lay around his neck and again inhaled the scent. Smoke, leather, spices, blood. Spike. It eased the painful longing that was centred in his chest.
Shirt still pressed to his face, he returned to the couch and picked up the second book. This one was more clinical and held numerous full descriptions of the master and consort bond. How it was established through exchange of blood and tied the pair together for the remainder of their existence. How the consort became the physical equal of the master, again it claimed without the concerns of sunlight and stakes. It spoke of a variety of links between the two, some psychic, some empathic. The link it seemed varied. Some masters and consorts could communicate mentally, some were able to clearly feel the emotions and pain of the other; a rare few could do all of these things but they developed over time.
Xander again thought of
Xander flipped through the pages looking for some clue as to how he could get around this bond. It was an unlikely source though, this book. He would have to speak to Giles and ask the watcher to research the possibilities.
Xander was startled out of his search when the apartment door was quietly opened and Spike entered, closing it behind him.
“Spike?” Xander called hesitantly, resisting the powerful urge to rush over there and crush Spike to him. He had no idea how Spike was feeling, how Spike would react to his urgent need for him.
“Harris? What are you doing sitting there in the dark?”
“In the-?” Xander glanced around the room. No lights were on. He looked at the book open on his legs then looked up at Spike who he could see walking across the room to him.
“Dark, Harris. Its pitch black in here.” Spike leaned down and picked up the book from his lap. “Something you want to tell me?”
Xander looked up at him. Spike’s face was tense, he was waiting for an explanation, but it was the face Xander had been longing to see for so many hours, he couldn’t hold himself back. Xander jumped to his feet and pulled Spike to him in a fierce embrace. He relaxed the tiniest amount when he felt Spike’s arms come up to grip him just as tightly
“Oh God I wanted to go looking for you. So much happened today and I didn’t know if you would come back. I- I-” Xander hesitated. He felt a sudden urge and couldn’t not follow it. He loosened his hold on Spike, standing straighter and looking Spike in the eye. He tilted his head, exposing the long arch of his neck to Spike and dropped his eyes. “Spike I’m so sorry I lied to you. I’m so sorry.”
“Harris what the fuck are you doing?” Spike spoke to him gently. “Do you know what you’re asking there?”
“You know I can’t.”
“I know. But I want you to know I really am sorry.”
Spike eyed the tantalising flesh in front of him. Damn, something serious must have happened today. And where the fuck did this kind of apology come from? When Xander didn’t move, Spike knew he needed to give him something. He lowered his face to Xander’s neck and gently scraped his blunt teeth over the pulsing vein. Xander’s arms immediately went around him and pulled them closer together. Spike gently held a fold of Xander’s soft skin between his teeth and flicked his tongue over it before letting go and kissing the same spot. Spike was, for once, grateful for his chip. An offer like that and made by Xander would have been very difficult to refuse otherwise and it was just too soon for such things.
“Mate I know you’re sorry. It’s okay. I understand why you did that. I don’t like it but I get it.”
Xander straightened and faced Spike. All this waiting tonight, all the anxiety, the need to tell Spike everything that had happened; all this pushed aside in that moment by the incredible need for contact with him. Xander felt himself fill and stiffen, felt the slow burning begin inside him as he stared into Spike’s eyes. Spike’s hands framed his face as the cool lips came to his.
Xander could have almost cried with the relief. He had so needed this, hours he’d been waiting, wanting, hoping that Spike would come back, that he hadn’t chased him off. He pulled Spike closer and kissed him with all the desperate longing that had been building inside him.
Spike felt the need in Xander and decided that whatever explanations, whatever revelations he had could wait. Xander was clinging, almost devouring him. Spike had no complaints. For most of the night he too had felt an overwhelming need for Xander. But he’d recognised that he also needed to fight, to kill and let off steam. The strenuous and violent activity helped him to reason things through and eventually see Xander’s point of view, so he stalked and hunted, from cemetery to cemetery and through the darkened streets. He’d been focused and ruthless, not engaging in banter, not drawing out the confrontations, just simple and clean but with enough vicious brutality to satisfy his bloodlust. When the hunger, the intense ache for Xander became too much he sprinted home. Not to his crypt. It was not home anymore.
When he’d reached the apartment and seen the lights off, he had a moment of indecision. What if Xander wasn’t back yet? But at this hour where else would he be. When he stopped and thought, he realised he knew Xander was inside. In the increasing strangeness of their relationship, Spike didn’t question the knowledge; just took it at face value and ran up the stairs. When he realised Xander was sitting in the darkened apartment, reading, he began making connections. Xander’s turn around time, his new coordination, the fact that he was able to hear more than one vamp coming at them in the cemetery the other night. He’d also said he felt better; the injuries from the fight must have healed if he had been able to drive to
Spike gave himself over to their mutual need and clutched tighter at Xander, pressed their mouths harder together, slid his hands over the warm, smooth skin of Xander’s back. Regardless of whatever else was happening to him though, Xander still needed to breathe and Spike reluctantly broke their kiss, taking a moment to shrug out of his coat and peel off his t shirt.
Xander rested his head on Spike’s shoulder, panting. “Spike I have to tell you what happened. It’s-”
“Later, whatever it is, tell me later. It can wait. This is more important.” Spike slid his hands into the waist of Xander’s boxers and slowly slid them down and off, dropping to his knees on the floor as he did. He ran his hands up the backs of Xander’s legs and gripped his arse, pulling Xander’s throbbing erection closer to his face. He closed his eyes and breathed in Xander’s unique scent.
Spike buried his face between Xander’s legs, gently sucking in the heavy balls, rolling them over his tongue, while his fingers stroked softly along his cleft. Xander’s hands dropped into his hair and Spike could feel the strong fingers winding through and holding him steady. Spike brought one hand around and took Xander’s hard cock into his mouth, licking along its silky length, sucking hard on the spongy tip and swallowing him deep. He worked one finger at Xander’s entrance slowly sliding it in and stroking at the small nub he knew would soon bring Xander to completion. He braced himself as Xander fucked his mouth, grunting and thrusting in till his cock hit the back of Spike’s throat; he tilted his head to better accommodate Xander’s length. Spike pushed a second finger in and Xander tensed and groaned, his warm seed shooting into Spike’s throat. He left his fingers inside Xander and continued to work them back and forth as Xander came, drawing out his pleasure and milking further pulses of hot come across Spike’s tongue. Spike sucked and swallowed the rich flavours, moaning himself at the taste.
Spike let the softened shaft fall from his lips and stood. Immediately he was pulled into a hard, deep kiss; Xander’s tongue thrust into his mouth and Spike opened to take this in as well, adding to the tastes already swirling together in his mouth. Xander’s hands worked at his jeans and Spike moved his hips to help Xander slide them off. Xander tore away from his mouth and Spike felt himself pushed back onto the couch and then Xander was in his lap, straddling him grinding against him at mouth and groin.
Xander couldn’t hold back, the aching need he’d had for Spike was overflowing in him, he wanted to touch him, feel him, everywhere with every part of himself. He ground their cocks together, his hard again almost instantly after the first orgasm. He mashed their lips, and held on tight to Spike’s shoulders, shoving him harder against the back of the couch. Xander pulled back, spat into his hand and rubbed his palm over Spike’s cock, not as good as lube but it was too urgent, he was too desperate. He raised himself up, and Spike, seeing his intention, held his cock steady as Xander slammed himself down on it. They both cried out at the suddenness, the almost dry entry, but Xander didn’t wait, he began moving, one hand gripping the couch back behind Spike’s head, the other on his own cock, pumping in time with his bounces on Spike’s cock.
Spike lay back and watched Xander take control of this. Or was he losing control? Xander seemed to be fuelled by his need; his head was thrown back, his body arched, he was beautiful. There were those small noises, not whimpers, not gasps, just those frenzied sounds that came with every exhalation that told Spike Xander was oblivious to everything except the sensations. It was almost as if Spike himself was not needed in this. As that thought crossed his mind, Xander’s eyes shot open and his head tipped up, his eyes locking with Spike’s as he fell forward, their foreheads resting together. Xander stilled against him.
“Fuck me Spike,” he whispered wrapping his arms around Spike’s neck. “I need you to fuck me.”
Spike grasped Xander’s hips and began to thrust up into him. He looked up into Xander’s eyes and knew that they were again in the same place, he was there for Xander. They remained focused on each other as Xander slowly rotated his hips while Spike drove himself up and into Xander’s tight channel. The searing heat inside Xander, the clenching muscles around him, the scents in the air, the feel of Xander under his hands and Spike was panting, his cool breath spilling over Xander just as the warm breath wrapped itself around him.
They came together, lips joining at the peak of their release and they cried out into each other’s mouths. Xander collapsed against Spike, soothed and calmed by the cool hands sliding over his back. He pressed his face into Spike’s neck, holding on until his body stilled.
Xander lay panting against Spike, feeling the solid muscularity of him in his arms and beneath his sweat slick body. He breathed in the scent of their bodies, their sex and it was comforting and warm. Xander lifted himself from Spike’s neck and they shared a kiss that was at once soft and gentle but filled with passion. Xander shifted himself to sit next to Spike but was held firmly in Spike’s lap.
“Not yet mate, stay with me for a bit.” Spike held him close, ran his hands lightly along Xander’s spine and sucked gently at the warm soft skin behind his ear.
Xander relaxed against him, and let the sensations of the closeness between them wash over him. He’d needed Spike so badly, had been so worried that he wasn’t going to return, but his worries appeared groundless. Spike had come back, had accepted his apology, had understood his concerns. With Spike’s return, the gnawing emptiness inside him had filled, he felt whole, satisfied.
Xander sat up suddenly and looked at Spike. Something had just occurred to him. He’d expected it to be a gradual dawning, and awareness that built up. He’d not expected it to be so soon, but
Spike felt Xander’s sudden shift, not just physically but his attitude, his mood and something else, just a feeling he was getting that something was different. Xander’s eyes held his, his face lit up with a huge smile. He settled himself back on Spike’s legs and laid his hands flat on his chest. If it was at all possible, Xander’s smile got even bigger as he touched his lips to Spike’s, then pulled back and smiled at him again.
“Spike, I love you,” he said wonderingly. “I don’t care if it’s too soon, but I do. I love you Spike. I hate it when you aren’t here, when we aren’t together, I feel like my missing piece is found when you come back. I don’t want to be without you. I know it might be too soon but-”
Spike silenced him with a kiss; doing his damnedest to convey all the love that he too felt.
Xander separated and looked at him with a small frown. “Spike?”
“Everything you said, love. I’m right there with you.”TBC