Title: Family Bonds
Summary: After his relationship with Anya fizzles out Xander and Spike become lovers. Xander’s insecurities lead him to seek help from
Notes: AU begins S6 replacing Hells Bells. No Dawn, Buffy didn’t die, and Season 6 Spuffy? Eewww no.
Feedback appreciated and lusted for
Disclaimer: not mine, all belongs to Joss and Co. Damn them. And bless them.
Other chapters are here
Beta thanks to kitty_alex
Warning: Nekid parts, so you know what that means right?
Girls talked, a lot. Scientists said something about women being wired to use more words each day than men. Maybe those science guys had a way to stop it; Xander sure as hell didn’t. It wasn’t like they even needed him for this. They talked at him, over him, around him; he was merely required to nod and smile, agree and empathise. It wasn’t so different to a normal visit and he’d been okay with those before. He’d been okay with those for years, but now? What was different now? He supposed that for the last few years he hadn’t had a comatose vampire waiting for him in his bed. That was probably it. Xander checked the clock again. Sixty minutes, each feeling like an hour to him. Sixty minutes since he’d hugged
He wasn’t going to be able to sit still much longer. He was back to that itching crawling feeling, the urgent need to be with Spike even though Spike was still out for the count. The girls showed no signs leaving, Buffy had refreshed the coffee pot and Willow warmed the muffins in the microwave, her lip curling at a half filled mug of congealed blood Spike had left in there at some stage. Again they sat and chatted. Men, clothes, monsters. Standard Scooby topics. Xander knew he was irritable. They shouldn’t annoy him as much as they were and he didn’t want to feel like this, but the fact was he did and he needed to put an end to it. Now.
Xander shifted in his seat, about to stand when he caught
“Oh. Oh okay then. Giles, research, right.”
Anya shifted across and sat next to Xander, taking his hand, ignoring his flinch. “So Spike’ll sleep through just about anything huh?”
Xander was startled by her question. Not the words, but the too casual way she delivered it. Nothing was ever simple with her and he felt the seeming innocence of the query loaded with something he didn’t want to address. Time for avoidance, a valuable and often used skill he had carefully honed over the years. He pulled his hand away. “Yeah. So, research with Giles now?”
“Yes, he wants to look into the Fewoi. There’s been a few more sightings, blackouts and brown outs. Does Spike always sleep through an opportunity to confront the people he wanted to kill?”
Damn persistent woman. She didn’t even miss a beat. Xander sighed and dropped his head down into his hands, elbows on his knees. “Spike is sleeping Anya. What else is it exactly that you want to know.”
“Something’s wrong Xander.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You aren’t saying no.”
An impatient sigh. “Anya.”
“You aren’t going to tell me?”
Xander thought about that. Honest answer. “I really don’t know.”
“Are you okay Xander?”
Pause. Sigh. “He will be.”
“Can I help?”
“No. Stop Anya. Please.”
Anya leaned in, kissed his forehead, noted the twitch of muscles in his face and hugged him anyway. “Take care of yourself Xander. We need you whole.” She was gone before he looked up.
Again he’d felt that inexplicable reluctance to explain Spike’s situation. Privacy for Spike? Maybe. Safety? Perhaps. No damn clue? Definitely. Enough had happened lately though, for Xander to trust these feelings.
He saw them all off at the door, wanting but barely tolerating Willow’s drawn out hug and accepting Buffy’s lightening fast embrace before she moved quickly away to a safer distance. Anya squeezed his fingers and
Back to the bedroom, shake the stupid thought away. It still happened, though less often now, that Xander endured a split second when rational thoughts left him and a sleeping Spike was a dead, permanently dead, Spike. He threw aside his clothes, laid down next to Spike, wrapped his arms around the still body and breathed in the scent of his lover. It was good, very good, but he needed more. Xander located the jar that Rose had given him and pulled back the sheet. Spike’s body no longer showed any sign of the burns, even the worst on his hands and arms were gone. Xander smiled, if the outside was healing so fast then surely the inside must be too. Spike’s skin was clear, so this was just for Xander, to satisfy the compulsive need for contact, for something calming, relaxing and soothing. Something that would put an end to the tugging in his gut, the overwhelming craving for Spike. He recognised that this need was what tainted his contact with his friends. No regrets though, Xander trusted Spike and knew that the need wouldn’t always be this irrationally insistent.
He took his time, savouring the touch, the closeness. Xander revelled in the feel of Spike’s now smooth skin beneath his hands, the sight of the muscles defined even more by the sheen. All the familiar planes, dips, ridges, usually so responsive to his touch were today still. He talked to Spike as he massaged. Along his legs, “I love the sound you make when I kiss this spot near your knee.” Across his stomach, “This muscle on your side twitches when I touch just there.” Over his hands, along his shoulder, around his throat Xander quietly told Spike exactly how much he loved him and missed him.
All the while he watched for signs, any little thing that would indicate Spike was coming back. He was disappointed but not surprised; Spike remained motionless. Xander sent a prayer of thanks to Rose; the cream may be next to useless for Spike but it was just what Xander needed. He was astounded at the change to his state of mind; the anxiety had lessened, the craving almost sated. With a warm smile, he set aside the jar and lay down, half over Spike, resting his chin on Spike’s chest and watching his vampire’s still face. “You’re just gonna leave me hanging aren’t you Bleachie? Make me go crazy waiting for you and worrying about you, just so you can wake up and call me weird English words.” He rolled onto his back and wrapped Spike’s arm around himself. “Yeah that’s it. Harris stop your
Xander lay quietly, playing idly with Spike’s fingers, feeling surprisingly contented. Time ticked by but he was relaxed enough now that he could just enjoy the peace and comfort, dozing on and off. While he slept, he held Spike’s arm tight across his chest; awake he talked to Spike, about everything and nothing. He solved the problems of the world in those few hours and sadly, was uninterrupted.
He woke out of another short, light sleep with his stomach growling long and loud and realised that aside from a pastry, a piece of muffin, and a single pizza slice, he hadn’t eaten anything substantial since yesterday afternoon. Flipping himself over, he again searched Spike’s face and, finding no signs of movement, decided instead the best course of action before finding food was to kiss the lines of muscles he’d been resting on, diligently covering every inch from navel to ribs. “Mmm, very nice, but man cannot live on vampire alone. Stomach calls.” A kiss to his mouth, the oft repeated mantra and Xander was up, pulling on his sweatpants and already forming a plan of action that involved inhaling the contents of the fridge.
Xander pulled out everything he could find that would go together on a bread roll, included a few things that shouldn’t and built himself a feast. Armed with a heavily laden plate and a glass of juice big enough to float a small navy fleet, he deliberated for a moment over taking his food back to bed or having some feet up TV time. Crumbs on the couch won out over crumbs on the sticky vampire. He flipped on the television, finding something mindless that Spike would hate and enjoyed his meal. Xander groaned with pleasure at his first bite, realising just how hungry he was, and how anxious and stressed he must have been to have not felt hungry for so long.
The room had darkened somewhat by the time Xander dragged his satisfied body off the couch and set himself up at the table to get some work done. He switched the light on, more out of habit than necessity. Best to get work out of the way before Spike woke up. He picked up the files he’d left unfinished and immersed himself in the familiar business of construction.
Xander had worked his way through the majority of folders. Once he got into a groove, he was oblivious to both the passing time and the TV still running in the living room, until the stiffness in his neck and back pulled him out of the deep concentration. Standing and stretching his muscles, he picked up the last file and switched off the TV and lights, casting an automatic glance around, checking for closed curtains and windows.
He tossed the file on the bed to read later, checked on Spike then eased himself into a long, hot shower, gradually unkinking the knotted muscles and wondering exactly how long he’d been sitting at the table. Back in the bedroom, towel over his head to dry off his hair, Xander stumbled as his foot slid on a wad of papers. Catching himself easily, he looked down to see his file and its contents spread out over the floor. Must have missed when he dropped it on the mattress. Collecting the papers, he straightened up to throw it towards his pillow but instead, froze.
Since last night, Spike had lain flat on his back, covers tucked up to his chest. Now a disbelieving Xander stood staring at curled up form, wrapped tightly in the bedcovers, blonde hair just visible through a gap in the top. The file and the towel very quickly found their way back to the floor.
“Spike?” Xander pulled the blanket down from Spike’s face and was met with a rumbling moan and the cover was pulled back up again. “Oh god, you’re awake.”
“Not, shut up, sleeping.” Spike’s voice was deep and husky and he clenched the blankets tight around his head.
“Don’t tell me to shut up.” Xander yanked the bedclothes from Spike’s face again and this time uncovered a raised eyebrow and hazy blue stare. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up since yesterday, now you can damn well wake up.”
Spike sighed and held the covers open. “C’mere love.”
Xander didn’t hesitate, but slid under the blankets, pulling Spike to him as the covers were tucked back up over their heads. “God, you’re awake,” he said again, more to convince himself. “I didn’t-.” Xander’s words were cut short by the lips suddenly pressed to his. This is what he’d missed. Spike’s mouth, the feelings that Spike could convey with this simple touch. Not even one whole day gone and he’d missed this so much. He wrapped his hand behind Spike’s head and increased the pressure on their mouths, feeling his lungs burning with the need for air under the suffocating blankets, but reluctant to let go.
It was Spike who broke them apart, throwing back the blankets and allowing Xander a few deep breaths. “Steady on there love. Why so urgent?”
“Why so-? You got yourself fried by a Fewoi, you’ve been unconscious for nearly twenty four hours and you’re asking why?”
Xander watched as Spike’s brow wrinkled, creased more deeply then smoothed as the full memories hit him.
“You didn’t have a weapon you idiot. What were you doing in a cemetery by yourself without a weapon?”
Okay that wasn’t what he’d expected. Well yes, it actually was but just not so soon. Xander sat himself up and tried not to look as embarrassed as he felt. An incredibly stupid mistake for a native of the Hellmouth. “I was looking for you. Everything got all screwed up at the Magic Box and I needed to find you.”
Spike’s frown returned along with a low growl. “Yeah love, I know what happened there.” He pulled himself upright to face Xander. “Bloody people have no idea. They’re lucky I have this fucking chip.” He put an arm around Xander and pulled him back into his chest. “We’ll go and sort them out later love.”
Xander settled back against Spike and felt like he’d never been gone. “No need. They all came over today and I told them to back off or we’d leave.”
“You did what?”
Xander turned his face up to Spike. “I’ve had enough. Sure they’re my friends, but to be completely honest, right now you are just as, no, probably more important and they need to get that. I think they did.” He sighed. “I hope they did.”
“Mate if you threatened to leave and they still don’t get it, then they are bigger fools than I thought.”
“Well, yeah. Where have you been these past two weeks Bleachie? They haven’t been at their best when it comes to me.”
Spike made a small sound of agreement.
Xander reached up a hand to run through Spike’s hair. “So are you okay? Do you feel alright?”
Spike pressed a kiss to his temple. “Feel like shit to tell you the truth, but nothing a few bags of the house red won’t fix.” He shifted Xander to climb out of the bed and pulled on a pair of sweats. “Come and tell me what happened while I fill up yeah?”
Xander sat on the kitchen counter, with Spike leaning back between his legs and explained everything that happened from the time of the attack to Spike’s waking up. Two full bags of blood later and Spike was flexing and stretching his muscles. Xander’s voice faltered as he watched the play of light over the oily sheen on Spike’s body. He might just have to ask Rose for another jar. Therapeutic purposes of course.
Spike glanced down at his chest and turned to face Xander. “Harris, be a love and tell me why I’m covered in oil and smell like spice rack.”
Xander flushed. “Oh, that was Rose. She gave me something for your skin, to help you heal.”
“To help me heal?” Spike raised a suspicious eyebrow but quickly dropped it again when he saw the lustful gleam in Xander’s eyes. “So.” His hands gripped Xander’s thighs and slid up to his hips. “While I’ve been in a coma of sorts, you’ve been very thoughtfully rubbing a lotion all over me?” His fingertips slipped inside the waist of Xander’s sweats.
Xander nodded. “Rose said.”
Spike’s fingers played across the soft warm skin of Xander’s hips. “Right then love, if Rose said. Should really thankyou for the sacrifice though shouldn’t I? Must have been difficult for you.” He dropped his head into Xander’s neck and ran the point of his tongue along the thick muscles and up to Xander’s ear. “Its looks like you were so thorough,” he whispered, tongue swirling into the shells and ridges.
Xander groaned and leaned in, linking his arms behind Spike’s shoulders. “It was nothing like you make it sound. I was so worried when you wouldn’t wake up and you have no idea how much it helped.”
Spike stopped and pulled back, searching Xander’s face. “Sorry love, bit scared were you?”
“I wasn’t scared. I don’t know, I think it was more being on my own. I knew you would wake up, just had no idea when.”
“So in the meantime you worried like a big
“Yep!” Xander laughed. “But you’re awake and you seem okay, so worries are over. Well, over until the next time you go running in to my rescue. And I so need to say this.” Xander reached forward, took Spike’s face in his hands and gave him a long, slow kiss before pulling back and smiling. “Thankyou. Every time I watch you fight for me, makes me appreciate you more and more. Love you Bleachie.
Spike frowned. “Yeah love you too Harris, so you don’t have to thank me for looking after my own.”
“Course I do and I will every time, so shut up and get used it.”
Spike shrugged and returned to the spot on Xander’s neck that he was pretty sure needed more attention and from Xander’s squirming response he’d been right. He felt much better having fed, the aches and pains he’d woken up with were gone and he had a fresh burst of energy that just demanded to be worked off. Patrol and good spot of killing would be good, but judging by the pheromones pouring of his boy, this would be better. He wormed his way in closer to Xander and felt the long legs link around his waist.
Spike smiled into Xander’s neck as he felt the gradually growing length pressing into his belly. Yeah, definitely a better option than patrol. He pressed himself harder against it and licked and nipped his way to Xander’s waiting mouth. He teased at the corners of Xander’s mouth, flicking his tongue out to dip between the soft lips, pulling away with a laugh when Xander tried to increase the contact. He sucked and nibbled at the bottom lip while his fingers dragged long lines up and down Xander’s sides from hips to shoulders.
Xander shuddered. “Stop teasing, it’s been too long.”
“Shut up and get used to it,” Spike smirked.
His hands came around to work at the drawstring on Xander’s pants, and Xander lifted up long enough for Spike to peel them off and toss them away. Spike let his fingers trace soft, barely there touches up the insides of Xander’s legs, across his hips and over his stomach. His hands continued a wandering journey over Xander’s twitching body while he gave his attention to Xander’s lips, licking, nipping, sucking, never kissing. His thumbs lightly scratched over the sensitive nipples and his mouth moved to the base of Xander’s throat where he sucked a purple mark to the surface while Xander’s hand held him firmly there.
Xander’s head tilted back and his breath came in shaky bursts. Spike pushed him to lean back, grasped Xander’s ankles and hooked his feet over the edge of the counter, took a step back to admire. “Look at you love.” Xander’s face was flushed with need, his eyes dark and shining. Parted lips red and puffy and nipples hard from Spike’s attention. His cock stood full and ready against his stomach. “Just bloody lovely.”
Back to the dark stain he’d left at Xander’s throat, Spike dragged his tongue down Xander’s body. A tiny lick across the head of his cock drew a groan but then he moved, sucking at the inside of Xander’s thigh. His hands played over the backs of Xander’s legs, nails scratching light paths along the sensitive skin. When he felt Xander’s hips shifting towards him and heard the desperate moans, Spike slid his hands down, spread Xander open and flicked his tongue the twitching hole. All his attention focus on Xander’s pleasure, Spike listened to the groans, sighs and occasional whimpers that told him he was doing right by his lover. His tongue teased and tormented, licked lightly and probed with a hard tip.
Spike felt his own need building to a peak; the cries and moans from Xander, the scents and tastes played over him and his own erection was dampening the front of his pants. When Xander’s hand came around to grip himself, Spike knew it was time. Gripping Xander by the hips, he pulled him down off the counter, pressing together for a moment to kiss Xander with all the lust they were both feeling. He broke away, turned Xander around and nudged his legs apart. Xander let out low groan and roughly pushed a bottle of cooking oil into Spike’s hand.
Quickly shedding his clothes while Xander bent and braced himself, Spike poured a handful of oil and worked his fingers into Xander, stretching and slicking the entrance. A careful swipe over his own erection and he was lined up and pressing in. A long hiss from Xander and Spike steadied himself until he could feel his boy was ready. At Xander’s movement Spike sighed and began a slow gentle pace, leaning down against Xander’ back and roving his hands over the broad chest. He rolled his hips and teased Xander with long, slow deep thrusts.
Xander was rocking back against him, not urging him on but relaxing into the unhurried movements. The pressure mounted for both of them and Spike gradually increased the thrusts until Xander was gripping the counter with white knuckles and slamming himself back onto Spike. Their soft sighs of satisfaction quickly changed to grunt of exertion as Spike worked them both to a climax. He clutched Xander by the hips and held him firm as Xander let one hand go to grip his dripping cock.
Spike pounded in, loving the sounds of skin slapping skin, the wet sound of Xander’s hand and the breathless, throaty groans that came from both of them. He finally burst into Xander pushing himself deep and crying out as he pulsed out his orgasm. He felt Xander’s muscles clench around him, pulling him in and massaging more from him as Xander too came in a hot rush. Spike rested his head against Xander’s back, his hands loosening their grip and caressing the heaving body beneath him.
He slipped out of Xander, spun him around and kissed him. Gently pressing their bodies together,
Spike held him tight as Xander ran his hands over Spike’s back and dropped his forehead against Spike’s shoulder.
“Bed?” Spike asked.
“Now you’re awake again I’m too wired to sleep,” Xander told him.
Spike laughed, his lips brushing Xander’s ear and tickling with the deep rumbling sound. “Just as well love, I’ve been asleep long enough, that wasn’t my plan.”
“Bed.” Xander agreed. “And I might even introduce you to Rose’s little jar.”
Spike looked at him with heated interest. “Right then.” He steered Xander towards the bedroom and slammed the door firmly behind them.