Mrs. Muir (whenbuffysmiles) wrote in bloodclaim,
Mrs. Muir

Realizing You - New Chapter

Title: Realizing You
Author: Mrs. Muir
Pairing: Spike / Xander
Rating: NC-17 (Adults Only!!)
Feedback: If you’d like…I’d like
Beta: missus_grace
Summary: Xander turns to Spike when his home life falls apart and in a moment of desperate loneliness they cross the boundaries of friendship. Together and apart they travel a rocky path to manhood and to the truth of their hearts.
Warnings: Underage, All human
Disclaimer: All things BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox and whoever else can lay claim to them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

Previous Chapters can be found here


Chapter 11

Spike was the first out the door of the classroom when the bell rang. All the way through his English class, there was only one thing on his mind.

Only one thing he needed.

To get his horny mitts on his friend, Xander.

Hoping to avoid any distractions, Spike put his head down and made a beeline for the other boy's locker. It was their lunch period, but Spike wanted to reach him before Xander got to the cafeteria. Relief flooded his over sensitized body when he saw Xander still standing at his locker. Spike grinned, despite the girls being there, because he doubted they would care if he stole Xan away.

"Hey," Spike said, sliding to a stop beside his friends.

"Hi," Buffy said.

"Hey," Willow said, with a wave her hand.

With the polite rules taken care of, Spike turned his attention to Xander.

"Hello," Xander said, looking at him from under his lashes, well one anyway, because his hair was flopping over one eye again. It made Spike ache to be able to touch Xander right away. Not wanting any distractions, Spike shoved his books on top of Xander's in the locker, and then slammed the door shut.

"What are you doing?" Xander asked, with a dramatic hand flourish and stepped back. "You almost got my hands."

"Bullshit," Spike whispered, but looked at said hands for a second. He stepped closer to Xander to whisper, "You want me to kiss them and make them better?"

"What are you up to?" Willow asked. "Are you going to get into trouble? Because right now, we're in a trouble-free zone, and need to stay that way for a few days. I can't take much more of the trouble."

"I think they're looking for a different kind of trouble," Buffy said in a breathless voice. "The kind of trouble meant for two."

"Give the lady a kewpie doll," Spike said, touching the end of Buffy's nose with his finger.

"Oh, oh!" Willow said, turning bright red. "Buffy maybe we need to get to the cafeteria."

"Give us a few," Spike said. "We'll be in the lunch room in a second." Xander was grinning. "Oh, and grab us some food? Please. I'm thinking we'll work up an appetite."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, fine, and hey, like I have extra money to buy you two bottomless pits some food?"

Knowing he was going to regret it, but right now with only one thing was on his mind, he gave into temptation and tossed his wallet toward Buffy. Her eyes grew wide as she caught it. He had to admit she was cute even with her mouth hanging open, but scary as it turned to grin. Yeah, nothing was going to be sacred. Not in Buffy's hands. Deciding it was worth it, if only he could get Xander alone.

"Come on, mate," Spike said, taking off down the hallway toward the science lab. It was always empty at this time.

"Right behind you," Xander said.

"Hey no problem," Buffy called after them with a little more sarcasm than usual. "I'm more than happy to do your bidding."

Spike ignored her, figuring he could deal with it later, as he turned into the classroom. He looked around to make sure they were alone. They were and when Xander was inside with him, Spike shut the door.

"Did you want something?" Xander asked even as Spike was backing him up against the wall. Except he was laughing as he asked, and he was going very willingly where Spike was directing.

"Yeah," Spike said, pressing his lips to his friend's mouth. This was what he'd been wanting since leaving Buffy's yesterday. Throughout the night, those few moments of making out with Xander in the kitchen kept playing in his head until he had to jerk himself off just so he could get some sleep.

Since he talked to Joyce the day before, everything seemed to be going their way. No beatings, or fights, or misunderstandings as they went through one of the few good days they'd had in a long time. The exhilaration of being in what Willow termed the trouble-free zone was what gave him the courage to pull this stunt. He just hoped that there wouldn't be any consequences from following through on his intense, flesh aching need for Xander.

Xander was hanging onto Spike's hips with fingers pressing hard into his ass. It felt so good to be held with such strength. Not some dainty hand that never left bruises like he was sure Xander was leaving. It only fed his desire as Spike ate hungrily from the hottest mouth he'd ever known. There was no hesitancy as Xander kissed him back even when he faltered at Spike's teasing tongue, but somehow Xander kept up, sometimes improvising so well that Spike wanted to beg for more. Driving his fingers through Xander's hair, not caring they were banging teeth because he was driving them so close together.

With his whole body vibrating with need, Spike pulled back, just enough to whisper, "I want to fuck you so bad."

"Me too," Xander whispered, with a groan. "I've wanted you for so long. I can't believe you're with me."

The confession made Spike need to read Xander's expression. The passionate glaze written on his face overrode any fear lingering in those brown eyes. The soft panting wafting over his face and the hard cock pressed against his own. It all equaled love even if Xander hadn't told him yet. Knowing that this could go too far too fast, Spike leaned back into his lover's arms so that they could get control over themselves.

"Damn," Spike said. "Don't tell a bloke something like that when we can't do anything about it."


"No. Not here. Not for the first time," Spike said, into Xander's neck. He kissed the curve. "I know you're a virgin and when I take you, we're not going to hurry. Understand?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Xander kissed his shoulder and then trailed his tongue up to Spike's ear before calling his name. "Spike?"


"I know you've been with girls, but have you ever been with a guy? You said that you hadn't considered it."

"I haven't." Spike stepped back, taking a deep breath while willing his cock to go soft again. His hands lingered on Xander's sides. "Why do you ask?"

Xander laughed, blushing as he looked somewhere over Spike's shoulder. "I don't know. Something about you 'taking' me sounds like you knew what you were doing and well, I've never done it. Anything. Except what you know me doing."

"We'll figure it out." Spike gave an evil grin along with a wink. "I can always ask Buffy. She should know enough from watching Queer as Folk."

Xander choked. "You're not going to ask Buffy. No way."

"I was just teasing mate." He shrugged. "The first time I was with a girl, I figured it out. Can't be that hard to figure out what goes where with two guys."

"Maybe I want to take you, too, or instead." Xander crossed his arms and gave him a hard look.

Spike had never considered that. It made him want to clench his butt cheeks closed in terror of any invasion going the wrong way. It also made him realize that Xander was probably thinking the same way or at least scared of what sounded like it might be painful. Xander didn't want to be thought of as a nancy boy or weak so Spike's automatic assumption of who went where probably didn't set well. It was decision time, and he knew there was only one to make if he wanted to keep not only this relationship but also the happy mood of the day.

"Okay," Spike said, swallowing back his pride and fears. He forced himself to look directly into Xander's eyes. "If that's what you want then I want you to be happy."

It was the right thing. Spike patted himself on the back as he saw Xander relax. The next thing he knew Xander was kissing him again. Quick and hard, but it felt good that Xander was taking the lead. Spike grinned.

"We probably need to catch up with the girls," Xander said, with obvious reluctance for the very thing he suggested.

"Yeah," Spike said, wondering if the thought of bottoming was the world's way of telling him that he really wasn't gay and his feelings for Xander were just a fluke. That there would never be another man who would turn on his body and heart like Xander did. He didn't know the answer but his good mood was gone. Xander, though, seemed happy enough as they made their way back into the cafeteria.

It didn't take long to locate the girls sitting at a table by the window. Spike slid into the seat next to Willow and kissed her cheek just because.

"Hi," he said, forcing himself back into the trouble-free zone for them.

"Hey," Willow said. She waved a hand at the two plates of food in the middle of the table. "We got you both some spaghetti. Nothing looked too good today."

"Does it ever?" Xander asked, pulling a plate toward him. After taking a few bites, he looked up to say, "Thanks Spike."

"Yeah, thanks," Buffy said, wearing a smug smile. "I never knew your middle name before…Eugene."

"Eugene?" Xander choked as he laughed. "You've got to be kidding me?"

"I wouldn't talk…LaVelle," Spike retorted. He turned to stare at Buffy. He didn’t say anything, just propped his chin on his palm as he refused to look away from her.

She stared back at him but then seemed to get uncomfortable as she twirled her hair, ate a bite of food, and then took a sip of her milk. "What?" She asked, throwing her hands out. "You gave me your wallet so stop trying to intimidate me."

"It is rather creepy," Willow said. She pushed his plate toward him. "You should eat your lunch. There isn't much time left until the bell rings."

"Come on, Spike, stop," Buffy said, squirming under his gaze. "I promise your name will never leave this table."

"On the price of what?"

"Nothing. It isn't worth it. If you don't like your middle name then talk to your mom," she said, putting her bag on her shoulder. "I'm going ahead to my locker. I'll see you guys after school." She leaned over to stage whisper in Spike's ear. "See ya later, Eugenie."

"You will pay," Spike yelped as she walked away. "Believe me, Miss Buffy; you're going to get it." It was then that he remembered and yelled, "Hey, where's my wallet?"


Smiling to herself, Buffy kept walking, but as she exited the cafeteria, she waved her hand in the air to let Spike know she'd heard him, but was ignoring him. She probably should have left the stupid wallet with Spike, but she needed to get away from them before she lost it.

"Stupid boys," she muttered under her breath. "They didn't even notice my new hairdo."

It wasn't that she was upset that she wasn't the center of their world. Or even that she wasn't happy that things were going their way for once. No, she was very happy for them. It's just that she was hurting and she had to pretend she wasn't. If they knew how upset she was then they would pay attention to her. To make sure she was all right and her friends didn't deserve to be played like that. The boys were finally having fun in their relationship and poor Willow had never had a boyfriend so Buffy was determined to keep her misery to herself.

She turned the corner, almost stumbling over her feet when she saw Angel laughing with some of his friends. The big dope was another one that would never know the truth of her inner misery so she threw on her carefree face. Not looking at any of them, Buffy tossed her hair as she passed them on the way to her locker. All she had to do was grab the books for her last couple of classes and she could make her escape. Just as she opened her bag, a shadow fell over her. She froze hoping it wasn't Principal Snyder stopping by to give her a hard time again, but then she realized it was Angel leaning against the lockers. Relieved it was him instead of trouble, Buffy relaxed but only a small bit. Angel made her nervous just because she wanted him to notice her so bad.

"Hi," she said, telling herself it was only to be sociable. Nothing more then trying not to cause a scene.

"Hello Buffy."

"Did you need something?" Buffy flashed him a smile before trading out her books. "Or were you here to try to beat up a girl? You know because I am alone and defenseless."

"Ooh, does poor Xander know you think he's defenseless?"

"Uh," Buffy tapped her cheek. "If I do remember yesterday's events correctly," she poked Angel's chest. "It was you on the ground getting pummeled by Xander. Not the other way around."

She was surprised when Angel laughed.

"I like that about you Buffy. You always stand up for your friends."

"Envious because you don't have anyone like that in your life?" She slammed her locker shut and fastened the lock. "Maybe you need to stop being such a…"

Angel grabbed her hand. He wrapped his fingers around it until her smaller one almost disappeared in the largeness of his. "Down, girl," he said with no trace of a smile left. His fingers traced the back of her hand in sweet caresses that she felt in her suddenly weak knees. "I didn't come over to start a fight."

"What did you come over for?" Buffy asked, glancing up and down the deserted hallway. No one was seeing this. No one would believe that Angel was being nice to her.

"In the last couple of days it's been hard not to notice you. The Bronze, the damage to my car and you're always there with your friends, loyal and sticking up for them. You're spunky, Buffy. I like it."

"Thank you," Buffy said, swallowing hard. She prayed he was telling the truth. She would give almost anything she had to make this moment real. Her heart was already quivering in anticipation of pain. She didn't like being on this end of the game.

"Hey, I was wondering if you would like to go out with me on Friday," Angel said. "Nothing fancy but we could go out to dinner and maybe a movie."

"A date?"

"Yeah, a date," Angel said. "You and me?"

Unsure of what was causing his sudden change of heart, Buffy looked into his eyes hoping to see a flashing neon light telling her what his true feelings were. She didn't see anything helpful, but this was what she'd been waiting for, whining about, and dreaming about, so she decided to take a chance.

"Okay. Friday," she agreed before she could talk herself out of taking this opportunity.

"Great," Angel said, with a smile. He gave her hand a squeeze before letting go. "I can't wait."

Buffy watched him walk away while wondering what caused his sudden change of heart. After yesterday's fight, and Angel's humiliation she had a sneaky suspicion she'd just been set up to take a fall. Yet her heart was screaming in excitement over the boy finally asking her out. The bell rang and she hurried to her next class, wishing the day were over so she could talk to Willow. Together they would figure it out like they always did.

to be continued…


  • The Love of the Bullied 23/25+ Epilogue

    Title: The Love of the Bullied 23/25 + Epilogue Author: Forsaken2003 Pairing: S/X Rating: R Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon…

  • The Love of the Bullied 22/25 + Epilogue

    Title: The Love of the Bullied 22/25 + Epilogue Author: Forsaken2003 Pairing: S/X Rating: R Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon…

  • The Love of the Bullied 21/?

    Title: The Love of the Bullied 21/? Author: Forsaken2003 Pairing: S/X Rating: R Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon Comments: Always…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic