Title: Twin Pleasures
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters.
Summary: Xander gets split by Toth's stick. Spike finds him and takes him home, only to find another Xander there.
Warning: Twincest, threesome, and vamp!Xander
Notes: This was betaed by and written for mysticsoblivion. She asked me to write something with an aggressive Xander and where Spike didn't think Xander could love him. Also, the spare twin is named after her favorite real life twin.
“I could be out terrorizing all of Europe, but no,” Spike ranted to himself as he searched the garbage dump for items to decorate his crypt with. “Had to get this stupid chip in my head and have it fry my brain cells.” He kicked a trash bag in anger sending it over to the next pile of junk. “Yeah, that’s it. Chip has fried my brain, no way I could be dreaming about the whelp.” Spike pushed kicked another garbage bag, enjoying how it went sailing out of sight. “But, he should be more respectful to me at least. He has to parade around with that ex-demon bint, can’t even talk to her without hearing how great Xander is in bed. Not like I want to hear all that.” He kicked a brightly colored trash bag and it groaned.
Spike crouched down and inspected the trash carefully. The trash moved, a few bags rolling off its legs to reveal that it wasn’t an it at all, but a him. The him being more specifically Xander. Spike should have left him and just returned to his crypt. No, better yet, he should have informed a demon where he was sleeping. Then there would be one less Scooby to worry about. But, Spike couldn’t bring himself to leave, so he instead shook Xander to try to wake him up.
“Hey, whelp.” Spike shook him again. “Xander, wake up. This ain’t a place for a midnight nap.”
Xander groaned and slowly opened his eyes. They widened when they saw it was Spike who was shaking him awake. He scrambled away and tried to stand up, but kept falling over trash bags that had been haphazardly tossed on the heap.
“Buffy! Buffy! Spike’s attacking me! Buffy?” He looked around but didn’t see her. “Okay you undead fiend. What has your chipped ass done with Buffy?”
Spike rolled his eyes, “If I’m chipped,” even though he wasn’t, he just failed to mention ADAM removed it, “I couldn’t attack you or Buffy, so you’d both be safe as houses.”
Xander let out a long reluctant sigh, “You have a point.”
“Of course I do, I made it. What are you doing back here? Thought I saw you walk off with the other Slayerettes.”
“No, I remember getting hit by Toth’s sticky thingy-”
“Which broke my lamp and killed my shopping cart-”
“And why you had a male mannequin in your shopping cart, I don’t want to know-”
“Doesn’t matter, whelp. I’ll walk you home. I bet it’d somehow come back to bite me on the arse if I didn’t get you home. I just bet the Slayer would find a way to blame me.”
“Fun, the evil undead walking me home. I can cross that off of my ‘things I never want to do again’ list.”
“Yeah, walking a useless whelp home is how I like to spend my evenings too.”
Spike grumbled as knelt down in front of Xander’s door. Xander had lost his key somewhere in the big pile of trash he had been laying in and Spike had simply refused to go back. Instead, he attempted to pick Xander’s lock.
“You’re lucky I brought my tools.”
“Like I planned to lose my key.”
Spike was about to reply when the door swung open and another Xander looked down at Spike obviously confused.
“Uh, Spike, why are you picking my lock?”
“I knew it! That’s why you had the mannequin!” The Xander who had come with Spike exclaimed. “You made some kind of evil robot Xander and you were going to replace him with me.”
“Why would I make an evil robot of you?” Spike asked disgusted, though the thought was intriguing. He filed it away for later.
“Because you like me,” the Xander that opened the door stated. “Maybe even love me,” he said in a mocking tone with a confident look on his face. “So you probably made that robot to look like me and have come here to replace me with it.”
“Nuh-uh,” the other Xander argued. “And Spike doesn’t like me.”
“Yuh-huh and he so does. He was practically panting over me while he was my roommate. Like I didn’t notice.”
The Xander at the door did something weird as Spike stood up. He took a good long look of Spike’s slender body and grinned. Not just any grin, the grin was filled with lust and hidden intentions.
“I didn’t notice!” The other one protested. “Stop fawning over Spike with your robot powers before I deactivate you.”
“STOP!” Spike yelled. “You’re both Xander. Even though that one,” he motioned to the Xander he had rescued from the dump, “smells rancid. You both have the same scent.”
“He could duplicate it!” They said at the same time while glaring at each other. “Hey,” their features softened as they continued to stare at each other. “Maybe we’re both Xander!”
“This is giving me a headache,” Spike complained. “One of you needs a new name.”
“But, we like our name,” Doorway Xander complained.
“It’s confusing calling you both Xander.”
“Alright,” Smelly Xander said. “But we’re going to do this fairly.”
“I’ll think of a number between one and one hundred, whoever guesses right keeps their name.”
“42,” they both said.
Spike glared, “Bunch of nerds.” He pointed at the smelly Xander who jumped at the sudden attention on him, “That does it. You. New name, pick.”
“If you two aren’t going to take this seriously, it’s up to me to pick. Now do it,” Spike added a growl at the end for good measures.
“This is so unfair,” he muttered. “I guess Kelly then.”
“Barbie’s little sister?” Xander asked curiously.
“No! Like the surfer!”
Xander grinned, “He has a great body. I bet he’d be great at a few things other than the surfing.”
Kelly blushed and moved past Xander into the basement. “So, got anything to eat? I know I usually have Chinese by now.”
“Am I really that repressed?” Xander asked Spike.
“Sorry to say, but yeah.”
Kelly made an annoyed sound, “What’s that supposed to mean? I am so straight. I have Anya. Even though she’s going to leave me since I can’t give her that apartment or any of the more expensive things. We’re always jumping around and I know work is going to let me go soon…”
“We’re good at what we do,” Xander interjected. “Master whittlers since high school. Have a little faith. The guys at work are saying they’re looking for people to work permanently.”
“Like they’d choose us.”
“I think I have it figured out,” Spike announced walking into the basement.
“What figured out?” They asked at the same time.
“Just the differences between the two of you. You look identical, but you’re both completely different.”
“No duh, fangless,” Kelly said.
“He didn’t mean that,” Xander said quickly at the hurt look on Spike’s face.
“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean, because I meant it.”
“He is just repressed. He doesn’t-”
“Xander is just saying that because he wants gay sex!” Kelly exclaimed in a panic. “We don’t- We couldn’t- Not you.”
“Liar!” Xander looked enraged. “Don’t beli-”
“No,” Spike said. “It’s alright. I get it. I ain’t exactly a white hat. Didn’t expect you to want me.”
“Spike, I want you,” Xander said moving closer to Spike. “You’re William the Bloody, evil to the very end. I like that, and since Kelly has all my repressions, I can admit it. I like my partners dark, the darker the better.”
“Quit this, whelp. It ain’t funny.”
Spike backed up until he was against the wall, he was trapped as Xander pressed his whole body against his. Kelly waved his arms frantically, not exactly sure what to do.
“He said stop!” Kelly whined. “You need to stop! It’s wrong, icky, gross, and most of all wrong!”
Xander sighed, “I have to take care of my new found twin, Spike. Can we continue after I loosen him up a bit?”
Xander pulled himself away from Spike and strode confidently over to Kelly, who stiffened uncomfortably at the full attention of his twin. His eyes went wide as Xander wrapped himself around him sucking and licking Kelly’s neck. Kelly moaned and turned, leaning back into Xander, tilting his head slightly to give Xander better access. Xander moved his hand under Kelly’s shirt to tweak his nipples.
“Stop teasing me, whelp.” Spike growled and watched from his position against the wall. “You have the demon bint; you could never lo-care for me back. So, stop this. I’ll take you to Giles and we can fix this entire mess.”
“But, I don’t want this fixed,” Xander said stopping his assault on Kelly’s neck and turning his attention to Spike. “Look what you did, Kelly. Your insecurities are scaring off the well-muscled vampire.”
“But I don’t-” Kelly started.
“Stop being a liar. I’m you, remember? Tell Spike the real reason you’re so mean to him. Why you think Spike would never want to be with you.”
Xander pinched Kelly’s nipple, producing a groan from Kelly. He looked pathetically over at Spike, his eyes glazed with lust and want. Kelly ran his tongue over his upper lip and Xander pinched his nipple again.
“He’s had a hundred years of experience,” spilled out of Kelly’s mouth. “What can I offer him? At least with Anya, I’m the only guys she’s been with in a thousand years. Besides, what would Spike want with me? I’m human and a nothing. Why go after what I can’t have?” Xander pinched harder. “AH! If I just pushed Spike away, then I wouldn’t have to handle the heart ache of him rejecting me.”
“The left nipple,” Xander said happily. “Our own lasso of truth.”
“So,” Spike said looking at them both with a hungry look in his eye. “Kelly is Xander’s intentions and insecurities while you’re Xander’s confidence and desires.”
“Bingo.” Xander said. “Now let’s play with twinny here before he becomes an old stick in the mud again.”
“I am not a stick in the mud,” Kelly whined as Xander’s hand trailed lower.
“Prove it. Let Spike have sex with the both of us.”
Kelly eyed Spike, “Alright, but if this is some vampire trick, I get to stake him.”
Spike approached Kelly, letting his hips sway, “How about I just let you stake me in a different way and we both go home happy?”
A look of shock showed on Kelly’s face for a moment before being replaced with a look of pure lust. Spike growled low in his throat, this was going to be fun.
Spike panted and breathed. He knew he didn’t have to, but it seemed like the best way to regain his ground. At the moment, his world was spinning and he didn’t know which way was up. In the past couple of hours he had been licked, sucked, fucked, rimmed, shagged, buggered, twisted, pinched, tweaked, stroked, swallowed, and positioned like rag doll while the twins tried out every sexual position that dared cross their minds. What blew Spike’s mind even more was that they were still going!
“Break, rest, fag,” Spike pleaded.
Kelly licked the remaining cum from Spike’s cock, “I did it!”
Xander looked at him questioningly as he released his hold on Spike’s cock.
“What did you do?”
“I sucked Spike’s brain suckcessfully out through his cock.”
Spike groaned at the lame joke, “Just get me the pack from my duster pocket. I think it’s near that area you call a kitchen.”
Kelly hopped off the bed and almost skipped towards Spike’s duster. Xander chuckled deeply and nuzzled Spike’s neck. Spike purred deeply, enjoying the feel of Xander hair rubbing against his skin.
“Spike’s a completely different person when he gets laid,” Xander commented to Kelly.
“Vampire,” Spike corrected him.
“Right,” Kelly said getting back into bed and handing Spike the pack of cigarettes. “What’s that like?”
“What’s what like?”
“You really did suck out his brains,” Xander said with a grin. “Being a vampire. What’s it like?”
“You’re interested in becoming a vampire?” Spike asked in disbelief.
“No,” Kelly said, but then he looked over at Xander and sighed. “Well, sort of. We always kind of pictured it’d be easier. You know, no work.”
“No need to worry about money.”
“No need to constantly worry about right and wrong or those nasty grey areas.”
“Did we mention no work?”
“Not that we don’t like it.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just the getting up at five am part.”
Spike laughed, “Don’t have to worry about waking up at five am when you’re vamp.”
“So, what’s it like? Is it that much different from being human?” Kelly asked.
“Or is it more like Angelus and less like you?”
“Well, depends on the person, I think,” Spike said thoughtfully. “I honestly think your soul just loses a piece of itself in all honesty, then you’re reborn, like a phoenix, without that piece of your soul. So what you have left is the exact same person only with an unquenchable thirst for blood and no morals to stop them from seeking out that blood.”
“What do you think we’d be like as vampires?” Xander asked curiously.
“Well, Kelly, he’d be a piece of work,” Spike looked over Kelly as he took out a cigarette and lit it. “No inhibitions or insecurities, just pure bad intentions. Can see him tearing apart a few villages. Then you, Xander, all that desire and lust, I can clearly see you. You wouldn’t just tear things apart; you’d stalk your prey. You’d corner them. You’d make them all hot and bothered. Then, when they were just at their peak, you’d drain them dry.”
“I want to be a vampire,” Kelly blurted out.
He instantly realized he said that out loud when Spike raised an eyebrow at him then took a suggestive drag of his cigarette. Kelly clasped his hands over his mouth and waited for Xander to fix his mistake.
“I’d like to be a vampire too,” Xander agreed, not fixing things.
“It’s too bad,” Kelly mumbled through his hands. “You know, chipful Spike and all that.”
“Can you hold this, love?” Spike asked Xander, offering him the cigarette.
“Sure thing,” Xander said taking the cigarette from Spike.
Xander watched Spike pin Kelly to the bed and switch to his vampire face. Kelly didn’t even have time to scream as Spike’s fangs dug into him to begin draining him. Xander took a drag of the cigarette knowing that when Spike finished turning his newfound brother, that he’d be next. It might have mattered to Kelly, but it didn’t matter to him. Deep down, Xander had always wanted to be a vampire, to just give in and to stop fighting for the greater good. He wanted to stop caring that the people around him were dying and there was barely anything he could do about it. So, he just took another drag and waited for his turn, which seemed to be soon since Spike was already feeding Kelly blood from his own wrist.
Xander woke up with his head spinning. He didn’t remember what happened after Kelly had stopped drinking from Spike’s wrist. He knew Spike had bit him, he had felt the pain, but was he a vampire now? He didn’t feel any different. Wasn’t he supposed to feel different?
“Is he up?” Xander heard a familiar voice ask.
“Yeah, but don’t rush him, pet. He has to adjust to it all.”
“Actually,” Xander said opening his eyes. “It feels exactly the same.”
Kelly bounced excitedly next to Xander, “Maybe you actually have to use your powers. Spike brought us food. Well, all he did was go upstairs, but still, it was fun.”
Xander noticed a few flecks of blood across the bridge of Kelly’s nose. He sat up and licked him, almost moaning as the flavor exploded on his tongue. Then he smelt it, it was coppery and it made his mouth water. Xander searched the room and noticed bloody limbs scared across the floor.
“Who’s that?” Xander asked Kelly.
“Dad,” Kelly said proudly. “Well, what’s left of him. He was alive when I tore him apart. What are you going to do with yours? Spike went into the bathroom to get your food when he felt you wake up. So, what are you going to do to it?”
“Better not play with your food,” Spike said dragging in a struggling woman with him. “Got enough mess to clean up.”
Spike tossed the bound woman onto the bed and Xander looked at her. He tilted his head to the side as the word ‘mother’ came into his mind. She looked a lot different sober and fearing for her life.
“Shhh…” Xander cooed stroking her hair and removing the gag. “It’s going to be alright, Mom.”
“Xan-Xander?” She stuttered. “What’s going on? Why are there two of you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said pulling her into a hug and ignoring Kelly’s tutting.
She looked over his shoulder and screamed, “Is that Tony on the floor!?”
“Yeah, that’s dad,” he pressed his lips into her neck. “Send my regards.”
Xander shifted into his demon face and sunk his fangs deep into her. He drank deeply until he felt every drop of blood leave her body. Xander pushed her off the bed and looked over at his sire. Spike was grinning wildly, obviously pleased that his predictions on how his childer would turn out came true.
“Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get in bed?” Xander growled seductively at Spike.
Spike didn’t have to be asked twice. He leapt into bed between his two childer. Kelly latched onto Spike’s neck, licking and sucking on it, letting his blunt teeth tease it. Xander on the other hand, worked himself down, first biting each of Spike’s nipples then licking down to his navel to let his tongue swirl around. Spike moaned loudly.
“After this-” Kelly said between licks.
“We’ll go hunting-” Xander took a hold of Spike’s cock.
“Then we’ll really show you what we can do,” they both said at the same time.
Spike grinned at them and knew without a doubt that turning the Harris twins was the best idea he had ever had.