Title: Choose Your Own Spander: The Haunted House
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I bend to Joss Whedon's will and try my best not to murder his characters.
Summary: Xander and Spike go to check out a Haunted House that people have been disappearing from. Only once inside, they get more than they bargained for!
Warnings: Vamp!Xander in one of the stories
Notes: This was written for


Xander got out of the car and looked at the “haunted” house that he had to drive ten miles out of his way on Halloween to check out because Giles had heard of some odd activity. Buffy had to stay behind because there was a coming apocalypse. What Giles said about nothing happening on Halloween was a crock.
“Well,” Spike said getting out of Xander’s car. “That looks like a real rubbish heap.”
Xander rubbed his temple. Being out the car for all of five seconds had almost made Xander forget that Spike had been forced upon him. It wasn’t like he even needed the vampire. In all the horror movies, you could never physically hit a ghost. Xander just thought that Giles wanted to get rid of him. Spike was hanging around the Magic Box a little too much for Giles’ liking.
“It’s a haunted house. It’s supposed to look like a dump.”
“You’ll cover me, right?”
“Yeah, I guess I have to,” Xander said pulling out his wallet.
He walked up to the ticket booth. The haunted house in question was a seasonal thing that opened up every Halloween, except there had been reports each year of couples going missing. Giles, in an attempt to rid himself of Spike, and Xander being the only one able to babysit the vampire, sent them to check it out to see if the reports were true. The pimply faced teenager working the booth blinked at him and Spike as if trying to figure them out.
“What?” Xander snapped.
“Nothing,” the teen, Xander squinted at his name tag, Glen replied. “We just don’t normally get your type of couples.”
Xander looked over at Spike leaning against the car waiting for Xander to retrieve the tickets and laughed. Xander laughed really hard.
“Us? Together? He’s so- He’s evil and has a fashion sense that’s stuck in the 80’s. We’re not together. Not like that. Besides, I’m not that way. I don’t like guys. Well, I like guys, but in the friends type of way.”
“Whatever. You want two tickets or not?”
“Hit me up.”
“That will be fifteen dollars.”
“Seven-fifty to enter that rickety old house? You’ve got to be kidding me!”
“Take it or leave it.”
Xander grumbled but fished around in his wallet for the money anyway. He paid Glen and received two orange tickets in return. For seven-fifty a ticket, it better be the scariest thing Xander had ever witnessed and Xander had faced quite a few scary things.
“Come on Bleachie, got our tickets.”
Spike looked at the house skeptically, “It looks like a complete sham. Whole thing will probably cave in on us, but since you paid, I don’t see the harm. Maybe you’ll get cut and you’ll let me have a little nip.”
“You’re always hoping for that, yet it never happens.”
“If you die, I think I can eat you.”
“You always say that, but I never do die.”
“I can wait.”
Xander glanced at Spike questioningly, but didn’t say a word as they both walked up to the old house. They walked up the steps onto the porch where there was a second booth waiting to collect their tickets. Xander handed his ticket to the teen and had to take a double look.
“Are you related to Glen?” Xander asked the identical looking teenager.
“Don’t be silly,” Xander squinted, Jack said. “We look nothing alike.”
“But-but-but!”
Spike handed Jack his ticket and said, “Drop it, Harris. Obvious he ain’t going to admit it.”
Jack ripped the tickets in half and gave each of them back a stub. The door opened, whether by magic or a hidden button under the counter in the booth, neither Xander nor Spike was sure. But they stepped through the door regardless. Xander rubbed his eyes, then again. Everything was in black and white!
“I’ve gone colorblind!” Xander exclaimed in a panic.
“I don’t think people go colorblind just by walking through doors. Watcher must have been right. Some spell is affecting the place. The gits at the booths must be in on it.”
“That’s just- That’s great. Real great. Do I even want to turn around and inspect the door? Should I stick with tradition and check even though I know it’s locked?”
Spike looked over his shoulder, “Hate to tell you this, but there ain’t no door to check.”
Xander turned around slowly to see that there just was grey wall where a door should be. Not caring what Spike thought of him, he pounded on it, trying to break through the wall. Spike waited silently for Xander to finish his fit. He honestly had no idea why he had even agreed to come along. Being stuck in a house alone with Xander was not something on his top priorities list.
“You done now or are we going to pound on the wall for a bit longer?”
Xander rounded on Spike and pressed his finger into his chest, “You listen here. I will not be Costello in this black and white horror, so if you think I’m going be screaming for you to come or clinging to you for dear life-”
Spike raised an eyebrow and leered at Xander, “We searching a haunted house or having sex? I’m confused.”
“I’m being serious,” Xander scowled.
“So am I. I’ll shag anything once.”
“You’re disgusting.” Xander looked around the room and noticed two doors with a staircase in the center. “How come I’m just noticing these now?”
“Probably weren’t there before. Guess we got to pick a way.”
Choose:
The Right Door
The Left Door
The Staircase