Rating: Very NC17!
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, products or articles
mentioned in this story and gain no monetary profit from it.
Willow and Buffy are feeling guilty about their fake gift and are concerned
they haven't heard from Xander in days. When they check on him, they
find him with Spike. In shock, they decide to do a real spell to give their
friend his hearts desire, hoping he will dump Spike.
Warning: This story is a pointless, spornographic bit of fantasy, fluff and
sex. The author does NOT endorse the bizarre sexual techniques or
situations this story contains. (O.k., some of them are......never mind)
As always, full credit to the talented Petxnd who brings puts wonderful visuals to
my words and brings the stories alive.
"Holy Hairy hamster nuts, Willow! What the fuck did you Do? You have to
fix it! Fix it now! Fixitfixitfixitfixit...."
"Ow. You hit me."
Buffy rubbed the red mark on her cheek as she stared at her friend in
disbelief. They were still standing outside Xander's apartment door and
neither knew what to do next. The evil that had just confronted them
was more shocking, confusing and horrifying than the Halloween corn maze
they had stumbled through last month.
Willow paced back and forth restlessly, running her fingers through her
long red hair, leaving it in wild tufts.
"I didn't DO anything. You know damn well that those cards were fake.
What ever happened to him was not my doing. Oh God! Do you think
someone else has put a curse on him? That must be it! Why else would
Xander allow Spike to perform unnatural and ungodly acts upon his body?
And then think he liked it!"
Willow stopped walking and an expression of determination spread across
her face. She instantly turned and marched toward the exit.
Willow reached back, snatched a fistful of Buffy's sweater sleeve and began
dragging her away.
"We need to go to my place and figure this out. Don't worry, I know we
can come up with a spell to counter any evil conjure that has been cast
Buffy went along agreeably. Her mind had already starting to wander down
an adjacent path as her heels tic ticked on the cement sidewalk.
"Say, Wil, you sure those cards didn't work? Maybe somehow...."
"No, Buffy the damn cards didn't......"
"Cause I was just thinking, you know those pills I ordered from that Bob
guy on tv for Angel? Well, let's just say they fell a bit ...SHORT, if you
know what I mean. So, I'm thinking if I could get a card and just jot
down "two...no wait, three extra inches...."
"The fucking cards did NOT work, Buffy! Whatever possessed Xander
to allow Spike into his apartment..."
"And into his butt and bed."
Willow cringed at the mental picture Buffy's casual comment created.
"Yeah, that too, whatever made that happen was nothing short of pure
vile evil. I could NEVER do anything to cause that."
Within minutes, time made faster by Willow's constant babble and whiny
rant, the two women had returned to Willow's house, through the front door
and directly to the kitchen table. The place where they did their best thinking.
Buffy dropped down onto a chair as instructed. She had seen Willow like
this before and knew the best thing she could do was wait. Calmly, she
removed a designer shoe and started picking at one of the bunions it caused
as Willow ran wildly around the house collecting books and spreading them
out on the table.
When she had what she needed, she proceeded to flip through chapters,
pages, and volumes, jotting down notes and quietly cursing under her breath
"I GOT IT!"
In response to her friends proclamation, Buffy calmly flicked a piece of toe
jam from between her toes, slid her shoe back on her foot and discreetly
sniffed her fingers.
"Well, that took long enough. So, my witchy friend, how do we convince
Xander that Spike is nothing more than a butt burglar who has trespassed
on the wrong private property? Oh, and p.s., he is NOT gay! You need
to straighten that out too."
Buffy hooted and laughed at her own pun. Willow just rolled her eyes.
"Ha ha, Buff, you are hilarious. Now if you are done, here is my idea."
Buffy scooted forward on her chair and Willow did the same.
"Here's what I think. Xander honestly believed that those cards worked
so even though they were fake, somehow he wished for something that
Spike found out about and twisted into his nefarious disgusting plans.
You know, Xander might have said sexy blond or killer body or beautiful
"Damn, Willow. You are still lesbo aren't you?"
Willow snorted and waved her hand dismissively.
"Shit, Buff, I'm gay but I'm not blind, HE'S FUCKING GEORGEOUS!
Now where were we?"
Buffy snapped her fingers in Willow's face to bring her back to the present.
"We want to get Xander back to walking on the human side of the dating
street and away from the vampiric back alley. Hey, I know......"
Buffy quickly grabbed for her designer purse and started rummaging for the
small, keychain sized stake she kept with her.
"I should go dust Spike, right?"
Willow shook her head and scowled.
"No, Buff, I don't even think Spike is an important factor in all this. Xander
is confused. What we need to do is grant him some real fantasies. Let
him see what it is really like to be happy and then he will understand that
what is going on with Spike is totally of the wrong."
Buffy's face lit up. She knew there was no problem on earth that Willow
couldn't solve. It was amazing, considering how hard that whole thinking
thing is, yet Willow could make it look so easy. Although she was slightly
disappointed that she wasn't given the green light on the stakeage.
"Fine. So how do we do that?"
Willow jumped up from the table and again began running around the kitchen
collecting spices, a bowl, and several jars of strange floating iridescent
liquids, all the time explaining her plan.
"Since the fake card idea started this whole screwed up mess, I think we
need to do the real spell."
Willow spun around and dropped a handful of cards and a marker on
the table as a wicked cackle left her lips.
"I thought you said you didn't have the stuff you needed cause it was
Willow's demeanor quickly shifted to sheepish and embarrassed.
"I didn't say I didn't have them, I just said they really cost a lot."
Buffy shrugged. It made sense.
"O.k. so what do we do?"
"Well, we write one fantasy on each card. Something he would really
like, then I pour this stuff over it and we light it. When the smoke clears,
he gets to live out each one. I am also tossing in a page torn out of the
book, A Christmas Carole. That will assure that all this will take place in
one night. By morning, he will realize just what it is that he really wants
out of life and good 'ole Spikeypoo will be history."