Rating: Very NC17!
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, products or articles
mentioned in this story and gain no monetary profit from it.
Willow and Buffy are feeling guilty about their fake gift and are concerned
they haven't heard from Xander in days. When they check on him, they
find him with Spike. In shock, they decide to do a real spell to give their
friend his hearts desire, hoping he will dump Spike.
Warning: This story is a pointless, spornographic bit of fantasy, fluff and
sex. The author does NOT endorse the bizarre sexual techniques or
situations this story contains. (O.k., some of them are......never mind)
As always, full credit to the talented Petxnd who brings puts wonderful visuals to
my words and brings the stories alive.
Every muscle in Xander's back and arms screamed at him to stop and
rest, but he knew that was not an option. The waves and salty spray of
the tumultuous ocean splashed and assaulted them nonstop. It was a sign
that the monster was close.
The night that had been so calm and silent, now roared with the sounds
of the wake and the ungodly screeching noise of the creature that Xander
knew he could never have conjured up on his own. This couldn't be part
of his warped imagination. It had to be real.
The only thing that gave him some reassurance was the fact that Spike
seemed very familiar with the huge fish. If Spike had faced and defeated
it once, maybe he could do it again.
Shouting back over his shoulder, Xander never let up in his desperate
attempt to row for the distant shore.
"What did you say it was? An octopus?"
Spike's eyes continually darted to the side and he knew the monster would
reach them in just minutes. His only hope was to save Xander and he knew
what to do. When the time was right, he would make his move.
"Not an octopus. It's a COCKtopuss."
Leaning close, Spike tried to explain as quickly and urgently as possible.
"Listen up, Xander. This is one of those ancient sea monsters that no one
really believes in. I ran into it years ago when the great poof tossed me off
a submarine. It held me captive for days and I barely escaped. There is no
way to defeat it, but if you do as I say, we can reach shore with only one
of us taking a hit."
Xander was stunned. Spike was offering to sacrifice himself. No one
had ever done anything like that for him before. It was unthinkable.
It was so entirely selfless. It must be love. Xander was too choked up to
respond. All he could do was nod.
Suddenly, the wet world around them exploded and Xander screamed as the
huge, grey, round blob broke the surface just feet from his face. It had
one giant eye in the center of what must have been a face and that eye was
clearly trained directly on Xander.
Xander briefly wondered why all nasty things smelled like tuna.
Immediately, Spike swung his oar out of the water and smacked the fish
fiend in the eye causing it to yowl and sink into the depths buying them
a few more precious moments.
Xander stared down into the place where it had submerged.
"Jesus, Spike what did you say that was?"
"It's a cocktopuss! A fabled sea monster that has been stealing sailors
from their ships for thousands of years."
Xander shuddered in fear but he had to know.
"Why? What does it do to them?"
Before Spike could answer, the monster returned with a vengeance. This
time it came up underneath, smacking and rocking the tiny boat, nearly
causing it to capsize before eight ginormous tentacles whipped up the surface
of the water. Xander stopped rowing and gripped the sides of the boat.
"Xander! Hang on!"
Opening his mouth to shout back, Xander was horrified when an long, thick
tentacle whipped out of the water and waggled inches from his nose. It
reeked repulsively of old fish and was covered in platter shaped suction
cups but what held Xander's full attention was the tentacle's tip.
It was a penis.
A mammoth, bloated, apparently circumcised dick that was now trying to worm
it's way into Xander's mouth as he realized with some horror, that another
one was slithering up and down his spine.
He now knew with a certainty why it was called a cocktopuss and what
it did with the sailors it swiped.
Xander would later blame his overwhelming urge to giggle on the stress
of the moment.
Spike could see that Xander was quickly becoming mesmerized by the
hypnotic sway of the whopping peni and knew if he didn't act fast, the
human could be double dipped, a condition, like the song of the siren, that
had caused seamen to throw themselves overboard for centuries.
Lunging forward, Spike sank his fangs in to Xander's shoulder. The pain and
shock snapped him back to reality and he quickly slapped the dick away
just as it attempted to slip between his lips.
"Damn, thanks Spike. I needed that. Now what do we do?"
"This is it, Love. Our last chance. The shore is not far but the cocks are
determined to get you. Our only chance of saving your virtue is for me to
plug you up."
"Yep, you sit on my lap and I stick my dick in your arse. We both row like
hell and with a little luck......"
"You've got a hard on? Why the hell have you..."
"No time for questions, Love, bend over!"
Not knowing what else to do, and putting all his faith and trust in his
vampire, Xander did as he was told. He scooted his bare butt back till it
hung over the small wooden bench seat and he leaned forward, all the
time working his oar like his life depended on it. Which it possibly did.
By now, all eight tentacles of the tremendous monster were whipping
wildly around Xander, trying to enter every orifice on his body. One of
them had taken to manipulating his feet in a bone melting method that would
put Melvin to shame. Xander figured Spike couldn't see it so he allowed
it to continue.
Wasting no more time, Spike slid up behind him and, using a handful of fish
slime from the cocktopuss, he slicked himself up and slid in, blocking the
probing poking peckers from finding a home in his human's hole.
Xander whimpered and his hands lost rhythm as the familiar feel of
Spike's cock found it's mark. Xander's own erection began growing,
tingling and aching with each time Spike thrust forward.
Xander did his best to control the quiver in his voice as fought the urge to
toss the oar overboard and begin stroking his cock. He knew with his
lover's dick burning in his ass and his own cock and balls slapping with the
movement of the waves he would not last long.
Making matters worse were the whimpering, mewling sounds Spike was
making behind him and Xander tried not to think about his lover desperately
fighting off the tangle of assaulting johnsons.
Finally! "Spike! We made it!"
The safety of the shoreline was within reach and, coincidentally, so was Xander's
orgasm. When he could stand it no longer, he dropped the oar and grabbed
his cock, stripping it roughly and quickly. Within seconds, salvation in the form
of a sandy shore, an explosive release and an erupting vampire dick all engulfed
him at once and with a sudden jerk they all stopped moving.
"OUT! Hurry, Pet, jump out!"
Immediately, the two men disengaged, jumped from the small row boat and
stumbled to find their stability on solid ground.
Xander bent at the waist, gasping for air and resting his hands on his knees as his
lungs and heart threatened to burst from the exertion. When he was convinced
he would live and they were really safe, he turned to his vampire.
When he did, he was disgusted to see the pale white body covered in sucker bites
and a satisfied, 'just fucked' look on Spike's face. The demon beast was waving
all it's cock tentacles in Spike's direction and Spike was waving back holding his hand
to his face, pinky to his lips and thumb to his ear, mouthing, "I'll call you."
Apparently one prick recognizes another.