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You know they're doin' it
Wishes and Wants 
10th-Jan-2009 04:59 am
Title: Wishes and Wants.

Author: BmblBee
Paring: S/X
Rating: Very NC17!
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, products or articles
mentioned in this story and gain no monetary profit from it.

Willow and Buffy are feeling guilty about their fake gift and are concerned
they haven't heard from Xander in days. When they check on him, they
find him with Spike. In shock, they decide to do a real spell to give their
friend his hearts desire, hoping he will dump Spike.

Warning: This story is a pointless, spornographic bit of fantasy, fluff and
sex. The author does NOT endorse the bizarre sexual techniques or
situations this story contains. (O.k., some of them are......never mind)

As always, full credit to the talented Petxnd who puts wonderful visuals to
my words and brings the stories alive.

Xander squeezed his eyes shut and roughly rubbed his fingertips over them.
The white cosmic explosion that had ended the carnival reminded him of
when he was a child and Aunt Millie would stick that damn flash camera
in his face. It would send his pupils into convulsions that would blind
him for hours.

"Oooohh, Xaaan. I think you better open your eyes, Love."

Xander relaxed at the calm reassuring sound of his vampire's voice so near
and safe. He chose to ignore the sarcastic tone of that voice. After all, it
was Spike.

Cautiously, he blinked and squinted, cracking one eye open experimentally
and was greatly relieved to see that the white was gone. In fact, it was
completely gone considering they were again back on the edge of the
deep dark woods.

This was apparently the night that would simply would not end.

Looking all around him, Xander could now see that they had returned to the
shore where their row boat had beached. The sand was cool and gritty
beneath his feet and the damp night air sent a shiver through his bare flesh.

As his vision slowly recovered, Xander tried to look into the woods. There
were no sounds of the carnival and frankly, Xander would have been
surprised if there had been. That page had turned.

Spike waited patiently while his boy took stock of their present situation
before hitting him with the next big thing. When he decided it was time,

"Oh, Xan, Love."

Xander turned in the direction of his companion's voice.

"Yeah? Hey I think we are back on.........WHAT THE FUCK, SPIKE?
Where the fuck did you get the fur coat? I'm fucking freezing and you are
wearing a fuckin' fur coat! Come on, Buster, share."

Casually, Spike held out his arms and did a shimmy shake of a dance
causing the luxurious coat of hair to flow and flop as he turned in a full
circle for Xander's inspection.

The common misconception that Xander was slow witted proved to
be wrong when it took him only seconds to realize that the beautiful,
full length fur coat came with not only facial hair and snout, but a heavy
neck main and.......a tail?

Spike's new appendage twitched as he waited to see what Xander's
reaction would be before he dropped the real bombshell on his lover.
He only hoped his human was strong enough to withstand the shock.

Slowly, Xander walked all around Spike's newly transformed body. He
reached out a hand gingerly and felt the soft coat of hair. Spike involuntarily
shuddered and purred, stunned at how wonderful it felt to be petted.

Finally, Xander stopped. His inspection was complete and his brain
methodically added up the facts. If this was one of his birthday gifts, combined
with his own fantasies, there was only one conclusion that could be reached.

"Well, well, Spike. It would appear that you are a lion."

Spike scratched his fuzzy belly and nodded.
"Un huh. So it would seem."

"In fact, I would say that you are the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz."

Spike calmly picked a flea off his tail.

"That so? Well, since you seem to be taking this so well, I think there
is something else you should know."

Before he could continue, Spike watched as Xander cooly smoothed the
wrinkles out of the front of his gingham skirt, the only item of clothes he was
wearing, and checked the bows that tied up his light blond hair into pig tails.

"Oh, I think I am already one hop, skip, and a jump ahead of you, my friend."

Spike bit a hang nail off one of his paws and spit it to the ground.
"I take it this is one of your fantasies?"

Xander crossed his arms under his perk little boobies and leaned against the
nearest maple tree.

"I'm a man of hidden depths, Spike."

Spike grinned lasciviously, baring a row of gleaming, white fangs.
"I'm beginning to see that, Pet. So where do we go from here?"

Xander pushed off and immediately began to look through the darkness
on the ground around them. He was slightly annoyed at Spike's lack
of understanding and logic.

"We're looking for a yellow brick road, of course. Geesh, Spike, you
act like you have never been trapped in a wish dimension before.
For Pete's sake, I would have thought.....oh, here we go."

Xander smiled and pointed off to the left. Spike looked down and
yep, there it was. The beginning of a small swirl of yellow brick that
unfurled and led off into the woods, disappearing into the unknown.

With no further hesitation, Xander scooped up the small wicker basket that
suddenly appeared beside them and he started out, bouncing and humming.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. If ever, oh, ever
a wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because, because, because because,
because, becaaaaaause........."

And before Spike knew it, Xander was gone. Sucked up into the darkness
of the forest and the night, the last glimpse of the pleated skirt faded quickly
away before Spike snapped to and rushed in after him, shouting,

"Wait, Xander, wait for me!"

Finding his now transsexual lover didn't take long as several things assisted
Spike in locating his human. First was the distant sound of the incessant
singing of that damn song, a tune that made his tail squirm and his hair hurt,
second was the convenience of the wide, easy to followed bricked
walkway and lastly was the tin man he passed that was pointing a huge
arrow sign that read:


Quickly he located the familiar swish of skirt as the boy's wide hips
waggled with his walk.
"Hey, Pet, there you are. You really shouldn't run off like that. I mean
we need to stick together in this so........"

"Spike! Are you staring at my titties?"

"What?!? No! Are they real? Are they as soft as they look? Can I..."

Xander's soft feminine little hand smacked Spike's paw as it reached for him.

"Men are such pigs! Shame on you."

Spike huffed, his tail switching around his body, expressing his aggravation
and agitated state.

"Now see here! I have had about enough! I thought we decided it was time
to go home and the next thing I know, I'm a cartoon character and you are
a chit with hooters that I'm not allowed to touch and a....."

Suddenly, Spike's eyes that had darted downward past the slim, skirted
waist, grew huge as he slapped a paw over his snout and mouth in
stunned realization.

Xander smirked and sucked his teeth in self satisfaction.

"That's right, Buddy, there is a pussy down there. Now, if you don't
mind, I'm on my way to see the Wizard and find my way home."

With that, Xander turned on his bare heels and started to stroll casually away.
Spike immediately threw his hands out in front of him and rushed after.

"Aw, come on, Xan, let me see. Please? Pretty please? Just a peek?
Just a sniff? Pleeeeeease?"

And together they disappeared off into the night, following the yellow brick
road to Oz.
10th-Jan-2009 10:13 am (UTC)
*sputter-huff-sputter* Mys should really hurt you for making it THAT story considering you are of the few who knows Mys' secret, but she won't... she's having tooo much fin laughing at Xan as... and Spike all furry *purrs* The things that boy could get into with his tail if he played right. *giggle*
10th-Jan-2009 10:18 am (UTC)
The Wizard is an important part of all our childhoods.
Ilove the Wizard! That's why I had to share it with
our boys.

The tail. Hmm. I do like some tail sex.
10th-Jan-2009 11:12 am (UTC)
I snorted coffee, it wasn't pretty and I nearly slid off my chair! Is it wrong that I find Spike as a lion......well oooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Xander with titties and blond pigtails not to mention other lady bits, Spike must be in Heaven, Hell too since he's not allowed to touch! I predict much fun will be had......Not to mention a tail! Wonderful writing *hugs*

Edited at 2009-01-10 11:16 am (UTC)
10th-Jan-2009 11:31 am (UTC)
The Wizard! What else could get them home except
the Wizard? It was only logical. Of course between
a tailed Spike and a transexual Xander you know there will
be issues. Oh, and sex.
10th-Jan-2009 01:51 pm (UTC)
Hmm. THe Wizard of Oz huh? Well, this should prove interesting.
10th-Jan-2009 02:03 pm (UTC)
I always did thing the sexual possibilities of the Wizard of Oz were
unlimited. Yeah, I know I am.
10th-Jan-2009 02:02 pm (UTC)
The Wizard of Oz. I can't believe you. Now I'm not going to be able to think of that movie without seeing a cross dressing Xander even with the girly bits and Spike as the Cowardly Lion. Poor Spike all he wanted to do was see all the extras. And before this one is over with I have a feeling he will. Who will be the Wizard. A Marvin and Melvin look-a-like. Will they meet up with the Scarecrow and the Tinwoodsman. Will the Wicked Witch of the West be making a appearance. Boy are Willow and Buffy going to get it when this is over with.
10th-Jan-2009 02:08 pm (UTC)
I tried to keep this story shorter than most I write, so all the possibilities that you mentioned had to be skated over in an attempt
to be brief and touch on the most important stuff.

There will be a surprise visitor though that will help them out.
As for Willow and Buffy, Karma comes in strange forms.
10th-Jan-2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
On the contrary, Buffy's interference and Willow's incompetence provided the vehicle for the 'wishes' to happen but the actual 'content' is all down to the boys, specifically Xander. Although I think Buffy and Willow may find their 'good intentions' come back to bite them on the ass, Xander and Spike might be inclined to thank them!
10th-Jan-2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
You are right! In fact I see them sending a nice
thank you gift just to aggravate.
10th-Jan-2009 03:44 pm (UTC)
*lol* Beedoll and I like those funny chapter a lot. *smile* I'm glad she doesn't wants to do anything magicially. *sigh* Thanks a lot for sharing those taily Spike and his blond-cute-girly-mate. *lol*
10th-Jan-2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
*cuddles the beedoll*
You know we can't be far away from more spander sporn.
10th-Jan-2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
Oookkkaaayyyy! Wizard of Oz. Didn't see that coming! Very, very funny though. Xander as Dorothy. Hee hee. Snicker. Spike as the cowardly lion! Oh me oh my.

So, they're off to see the Wizard. Now, who could that be? We've had Melvin and Marvin. Another version, or someone completely different? We'll just have to wait and see. Sigh.

Will Xander give in to Spike's pleading for him to just have a 'look', or a 'sniff'? Of course he will. But when, that is the question.

Love this Bee.

10th-Jan-2009 10:44 pm (UTC)
"Didn't see that coming" Is actually the whole theme of this story.
Of course he will get a little. No matter what they look like,
this is still Spike and Xander.
10th-Jan-2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
OMG I hurt! I put down my coffee first! But by God I laughed at this chapter so hard my ribs hurt, and people knocked on my bedroom door to find out if I was alright.

"there's a pussy down there."

Yep, and an overgrown Spike pussy wanting to sniff the new pussy. Bwhahahahahahaha. I could just see that scene.

Great chapter. Funny Spander fun.
10th-Jan-2009 10:46 pm (UTC)
Now you just know Spike will get more than a little sniff,
the question is how and when. Xander also needs to explain why
this is one of his fantasies.
Spander sporn is not far off.

10th-Jan-2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
The Wizard of Oz yeay! Xander has girly bits and we know Spike has courage...where does the sex come in and you know it will! Can't wait to see what you come up with next. Will there be flying monkeys?
10th-Jan-2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
It would almost have to be flying monkeys out of his butt.
I tried to keep this story short but to be honest, I could
have written 20 chapters on this fantasy alone.
And yes, there will soon be more spander sex.
11th-Jan-2009 06:42 am (UTC)
"Geesh, Spike, you act like you've never been trapped in a wish dimension before." Love this line. Xander is just taking being turned into Dorothy so well. :)
P.S. Where is Toto? lol
11th-Jan-2009 09:48 am (UTC)
No time for Toto. If I thought about it, I could have written an entire story about them in Oz and restricting it to 3 chapters was very hard.
Maybe someday I, no, I can't let myself get distracted by another plot bunny.
11th-Jan-2009 09:24 pm (UTC)
LMAO!!!! *pauses for breath* LMAO again!!!

too funny!! i love that Spike is more concerned about copping a feel or sneakin' a peek than possible danger or them getting home, *snort* boys are so one-minded...not like us girls *looks innocent*
11th-Jan-2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
No, no, of course. In this situation, we would be totally focused.
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