Rating: Very NC17!
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, products or articles
mentioned in this story and gain no monetary profit from it.
Willow and Buffy are feeling guilty about their fake gift and are concerned
they haven't heard from Xander in days. When they check on him, they
find him with Spike. In shock, they decide to do a real spell to give their
friend his hearts desire, hoping he will dump Spike.
Warning: This story is a pointless, spornographic bit of fantasy, fluff and
sex. The author does NOT endorse the bizarre sexual techniques or
situations this story contains. (O.k., some of them are......never mind)
As always, full credit to the talented Petxnd who puts wonderful visuals to
my words and brings the stories alive.
"Xan! Xander! Love! Please, please wake up. Fuck! Xander, can you
Xander slowly came back to consciousness with Spike patting his face and
shaking his shoulders. He felt as though he had been drifting on a cloud and
the last thing he remembered was an orgasm that rocked the planet,
probably shifting the continents and melting an iceberg or two.
"Huh? What? Spike?"
Spike scooped the now very masculine body of his companion up in his
arms, rocking and cradling him as his voiced cracked with relief. His hands
mapped out the human's body and checked for injuries.
He took an extra moment or two to roll the nuts between his fingers.
Nothing seemed broken or damaged. Thoughtfully, Spike had licked clean
the insides of Xander's legs where the blood had run down from his torn
virginity. The taste of the purity of emotions the blood contained only
served to charge his need for ownership higher.
"Fuck! Bloody hell, Xan. You scared the fuck out of me. I'm so sorry, Love,
I didn't know the tail was still there. I mean, I could hear your heart beating
so I knew you were still alive, but it cut off your breathing. Shit, you silly
humans and your need for oxygen. Cut it off for just a few minutes and it
can cause brain damage. You aren't brain damaged are you Love?"
Xander pushed away from the worried vampire and he hoisted himself
experimentally on shaky legs. His fingers skipped from top to bottom
and he noted the lack of female characteristics.
With his hands on his hips, Xander huffed.
"No, I am NOT brain damaged. I'll have you know they never proved
the accuracy of those tests. Besides, I was only 13 years, oh, you mean
because of the....."
Xander waved his hands over the spot on the ground where he had been
flopping like a fish out of water only minutes earlier and he blushed.
"Jesus, that was really intense. Kinda scary. I don't think I want to do
that again. But, hey, look, I'm back to normal!"
Xander grabbed a handful of penis lovingly. He bent over as far at the waist
as possible and he puckered his lips doing his best to reach himself with
loud exaggerated kisses.
"Oh, Big Willy, you're back. *smooch* *smooch* I missed you Buddy!
I promise I will never wish you away again."
Spike stood back watching the ridiculous display. Just as he was about to
toss out a scathing and insulting remark, Spike felt the sharp painful
prickling run up and down his spine. Spinning around in fear, what he
saw off in the distance terrified him.
"In a minute, Spike, Willy and I are having a moment here."
"Damn it Xander, if you take much longer, you and Willy will be the only
ones having a moment. Look!"
Xander's head snapped up and he saw what it was that had his vampire so
concerned. It was a streak. A deep pink hue that stretched across the far
horizon and signaled the oncoming beauty of a deadly sunrise.
They were down to just minutes.
Xander looked frantically in all directions for the safety of shelter. All traces
of the land of Oz were gone. The steps that led up to the solid door of
the gate to the Emerald City had disappeared and they were again standing in the
open field of the clearing at the edge of the forest.
Spike grabbed for Xander's arm.
"Come on. If we get back into the forest, we can use the safety of the trees.
I can find shelter there. God damn it, Xander! Come on!"
"I don't get it. I was sure the Dorothy sex in Oz would get us back home."
"Please, Xander, I have to go! I have to go now!"
Spike's skin was already starting to feel uncomfortable. Like a fair skinned
human who had forgotten the sunscreen, he felt fevered and dehydrated.
His demon was screaming in desperation for self preservation.
"Spike, wait. Look! Over there in the sky! It's a floating bubble and it's
coming this way. I think it's Glinda, the good witch."
Spike twitched nervously and watched as the strange orb sailed down
till it hovered directly above them. Before he could speak, the bubble
dropped to the ground and burst in a wet splatter of soap bubbles. Not
surprisingly, the character stepping out was NOT the pretty witch from the
land of Oz. In fact it was...
At the sound of his name, the shoe salesman grinned and hurried over to
where the two stood.
"There you two girls are. You forgot your shoes so I brought you a special
pair. I believe they are just what you need."
With a grin and a wink, Melvin slipped a pair of sparkly red shoes over
Xander's big feet. Immediately, Xander knew what to do. He grabbed hold
of Spike's hand and after extending their thanks to Melvin, Xander closed
his eyes and curtly snapped his heels together.
"There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place
On the third time, the sky burst with a flash of lightning and a roar of thunder
that seemed to come out of nowhere. The ground beneath them shook with
the force of an earthquake and the earth's crust split, opening up into a
massive chasm between them throwing them off balance and causing them
to tumble into the apparently bottomless pit.
As they fell, the last thing Xander saw was the tip of the first rays of
gold as the sun lifted itself into the morning sky.
"I got you, Love. Hang on to me!"
Both their voices echoed as if they were shouting into a tunnel or down the
shaft of a deep wishing well. The two men grabbed and gripped at each
other fearing losing contact more than the unknown of where they would land.
Time and space stood still as they fell. Tumbling and freefalling head over heels,
ass over tin cups they went down into the darkness of the cool silent hole.
Xander wondered if this was what it was like for the head of his dick when
it dove into Spike's ass.
Like a ride on a rollercoaster, Xander was staring to feel his stomach
flip with the vertigo that popped in his inner ears and he wondered where
and when they would land, praying it would be soon. Spike kept one
arm tightly wrapped around Xander's waist, their bodies glued together,
and he reached out with his free hand trying to find purchase in a wall.
Suddenly, the ceiling in Xander's bedroom opened up and spit them out.
Directly over top their bed, the two men plunged through and landed, with
a thump, naked, and tangled together on top the musty sheets.
"Ooofff! Shit! Fuck, Spike, I think we're home."
Xander immediately staggered to his feet and danced all around the room.
Everything looked familiar, from the dirty boxers on the floor to the smell of
sweaty tennis shoes tossed in the corner. It was all Xander. It was home.
"We made it! We're safe! It's morning and we're home."
Xander ran to the window and peeked out, careful not to let any of the
dangerous rays of deadly light creep in. The reassuring view of his backyard,
complete with unmowed grass and discarded beer cans buoyed him.
"It must be over. My birthday present is over and we survived together!"
Spike smiled and stretched his naked body out on their warm, double bed.
He chuckled as he watched his lover skip happily around the room celebrating
the end of the test and trial of the birthday fantasies that they has endured
For now, he didn't have the heart to tell him that the spark of magic was still in
the air. Whatever those damn women had started was not yet finished.