Title: Wishes and Wants.
Rating: Very NC17!
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, products or articles
mentioned in this story and gain no monetary profit from it.
Willow and Buffy are feeling guilty about their fake gift and are concerned
they haven't heard from Xander in days. When they check on him, they
find him with Spike. In shock, they decide to do a real spell to give their
friend his hearts desire, hoping he will dump Spike.
Warning: This story is a pointless, spornographic bit of fantasy, fluff and
sex. The author does NOT endorse the bizarre sexual techniques or
situations this story contains. (O.k., some of them are......never mind)
As always, full credit to the talented Petxnd who puts wonderful visuals to
my words and brings the stories alive.
Xander felt as though he were floating, possibly back in the small row boat
on the ocean, silent and peaceful. The air around him smelled of the
pungent odor of release and despite his reluctance, his brain slowly
started putting two and two together.
As he came more fully awake, he realized someone was petting him.
Gentle, cool fingers lovingly stroking his hair and forehead. Even before
opening his eyes he knew who it was. His whole being recognized and
responded to the touch of his master and he leaned toward him.
Spike's voice, just inches from Xander's ear, chuckled.
"Are you in there, Love?"
Xander smiled and wiggled till his body was pressed flat against Spike's.
He then wrapped his arms around the vampire and pulled himself even
closer squinting one eye open.
"It happened didn't it? I can feel it. Like a quiet, whispering promise
in my head. I'm really yours. I am a Consort. Wow."
Spike, too could feel the change. It was an overwhelming possessiveness
and ownership toward the human in his arms. His demon, like a junkyard
dog, stood snarling, watching and protecting.
"You are mine. The bond is still weak, but as time goes on and the more
we exchange blood, it will get stronger. You will get stronger. Our
connection to each other will harden like cement. No one will ever
come between us. It's prophetic, Love, like they say, 'what butts and
bites have joined together, let no witch or slayer put asunder'."
Xander knew Spike meant his friends, and that was fine with him. He loved
Willow, Buffy and even Giles, but he belonged with Spike. In time they
would accept it. If they were really his friends they would understand.
And after all, it was their spell that brought Xander his wish of true love.
Xander yawned. It had been a hell of a week end. He wanted to talk.
He wanted to fuck and his whole body begged to be bitten again, but
the Master could see what his human needed most.
"I love you, Spike."
Spike smiled at his Consort. He pulled the blanket up around them and
tucked them in together. They both needed sleep. Then he would see
that his Consort was fed, bathed and possibly fucked again. It was an
overwhelming responsibility that the vampire happily embraced.
"I love you too, Pet. Now, go to sleep. We have a big day ahead of us."
Spike lovingly laved his tongue over the seeping wound on Xander's
neck, tasting the emotions that flowed there, then he too dozed off.
Safe. Secure. Loved.
Buffy jerked upright on the couch. She had waited there impatiently for
the coming dawn and now realized she must have dozed off around midnight
and that the sun had already begun to peek over the horizon in the East.
Before going to bed, Willow had assured her that the magic of the cards was
Buffy felt a minor twinge of guilt over the trick she had played, but reasoned
it away by saying that Xander got his wishes, Willow got the satisfaction
of doing her good deed and, most importantly, Angel got that three inches he
so desperately needed.
She knew Angel would have been out cruising the parks and bathhouses
all night as he often did, no doubt looking for hapless victims to save.
The man just never quit.
She also knew that with his pants on and his mind occupied, he would not
have noticed the three inch growth she had wished for until he returned to the
huge gothic mansion on the edge of town at daybreak.
Jumping to her feet, she dove into her shoes and grabbed her sweater.
Before she reached the door, her cell phone jingled with the preprogrammed
tune of Monkey Love, that signaled the caller was none other than
Mr. Suddenly Bigger himself.
Grabbing the cell phone in one hand and the door knob in the other, Buffy
answered as she ran outside.
"Oh, God! Buffy! Hurry! You won't believe it! I think the Powers That
Be have finally rewarded me for all my self sacrificing magnificence. They
have answered my prayers."
Buffy squealed in delight as her slayer speed kicked up a notch and she dashed
down one street and up the next.
"Is it beautiful? Oh, Angel I'll bet it's beautiful."
Angel's voice choked with emotion.
"It is incredible. I never though this could happen. You know, being dead
and all, you just think that what you have is what you have. That it won't
grow. That it can't get longer, but it did! IT'S LONGER!"
Buffy waved her phone hand high in the air as she spotted the mansion off in
the distance and quickly coming closer.
"WHOOPIE!!!! Hang on, Lover. I'm nearly there! Oh, fuck, Angel,
I can't wait to get my hands on it!"
"Hurry, Buffy, I'm waiting! I want your fingers all over it!"
Rounding the last bend, Buffy snapped the phone shut and stuck it in her
pocket before dashing up the long winding gravel road.
Within minutes, she hit the courtyard running and rushed past the ivy
covered dry fountain statues.
Without hesitation, she sped in the front door, gasping for air and
searching the darkness for his hugeness.
"ANGEL? I'M HERE. WHERE ARE YOU?"
The thundering footsteps pounding down the sweeping stairway signaled
her lover's approach and Buffy bounced on the balls of her feet in
anticipation. Lurching forward, Angel stood, stark naked in front of her
and eagerly awaited her response.
Buffy blinked. Buffy stared. Angel's soft, four inch winky dink hung
limply between his legs. Buffy was, as always confused.
As her eyes slid slowly up his body, she asked,
"I don't get it. Where's the three.........oh, HELL NO!"
Angel stood on his tip toes like a ballerina and did a full pivot, all the
time tossing his head back and forth. His LONG brown hair fell
into his eyes and down around his shoulders.
"Isn't it the most amazing thing you have ever seen?"
His voice cracked as he tried not to sob with joy and his round melon head
flopped from side to side dramatically causing his long locks to wave and fall.
"Do you want to touch it? Go on, touch it. Oh, God Buffy! Isn't this just the
best? Could you have ever ask for more? Come on, let's go upstairs and
I'll let you brush it, maybe even braid it if you ask really nice. Hey! If we
look through that old trunk in the attic, I'll bet I have some of those leather
hair ties I used when I was human."
Angel grabbed Buffy by the hand and jerked her off her feet as he hurried
to get back upstairs. Buffy just rolled her eyes and mumbled.
"Fucking Powers and their fucking loopholes. Well, hell, at least nothing
went wrong with Xander's wishes. By now he should be well rid of that
fucking annoying Spike."
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I hope this story brought
a smile to your mornings.
Our next story starts Feb. 1. Title: Carnavale Mystique. A mysterious
carnival comes to Sunnydale. People begin dying and Xander is captivated.
Although vampire/human it deviates from the Buffy time line. An
explaination will be posted the day before posting begins. It is a dark story
based on an idea from the delightful Mystic Oblivion.
Hope to see you then.
p.s. Don't forget about writercon this summer in Minneapolis!
Check out the info at writercon.com. The Bee hopes to see everyone there.
I did put my coffee down or it would have been up my nose! I'm still cackling like a loon.
This was a fun romp, just lovely and delightfully crack!fic, my dear..
Very lighthearted and just what I've needed for the past few weeks.
Now, *ahem* where's the preview for the next bit o' fic?
(ETA: Never mind. I found it. I was laughing so hard I missed it at first.)
Edited at 2009-01-21 10:17 am (UTC)
Buffy got just what she asked for and Angel is thrilled.
It was the only way to end this silly story.
See ya next month.
too funny, as always! so happy the boys are together and content, and Angel's happy....everyone but Buffy and Willow, hee! Loved it, Bee!
Mystique is being boxed up in bubble wrap and ready for
shipment the first of Feb. See you then.
See you by your next story but I have to disappointed you: I won't see you in Minneapolis. It's just too far away from Germany where I live. But, well I'll follow your stories.
of beedoll in my heart. Germany is far off but I am standing
here waving at you long distance.
wonderful comment. See ya next month.
'What butts have joined together, let no man put asunder'."
It SO should be part of the commitment ceremony!
And Angel...............Perfect just perfect. Thank you for writing and posting this, it was awesome. Looking forward to the new fic. *Hugs*
partner's wrinkled ass-ets. It should absolutly be
part of a commitment ceremony!
I can't even feel bad for short changing Angel.
Afterall, he got his hearts desire.
See you in Feb. *smooch*