AUTHOR:
bohofemmFANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
PAIRING: Spike/Xander
GENRE : Slash
TABLE: B
PROMPT: 027. Faith
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT 683
SUMMARY: Everything happens for a reason, even when one has doubts.
WARNINGS: Mild innuendo.
NOTES: X-Posted to
lover100. This is something new I'm trying, so, I want HONEST opinions. Based on the Pink song “Glitter in the air”DISCLAIMER: You recognize them? I don’t own them.
Xander knows this is wrong.
He's always been taught that vampires were bad. Look at what Jesse had become. Look at what Angelus had done to Buffy! Vampires were nothing but bad news and he just needed to accept that.
Yet, as Spike gently runs his lips down Xander's spine, hoping to hit every notch of bone, a tear springs to his eye. Nobody has ever treated him so tenderly. He doesn't mean to cry but it fits his emotional state so well.
Spike dips lower and lower until he is at the swell of his back just above his buttocks. Before ravishing him, he glances up, notices the fear in Xander's eyes and mouthes three words.
I don't care.
This Spike is like a complete stranger. Xander doesn't know who this is. He never knew being with anyone could mean so much. Shouldn't he feel disdain at sleeping with this man who was once his mortal enemy?
He doesn't though. All he feels is complete and total peace. These feelings are so foreign but so right.
He makes a split decision.
He closes his eyes and just surrenders his body to Spike...a sign of utter trust.
If someone had told him he'd surrender his body to a vampire, Xander would have called them crazy. Vampires were evil. All they did was hurt people and were incapable of love.
Yet, as Spike rests on top of him and plants a single sloppy kiss on his lips, he can't imagine being anywhere else. He can't imagine being with anyone else.
It just feels right.
Later, as they fall asleep, Xander rests his head on Spike's chest and is calmed by the quiet. He doesn't want to think because if he does, he's certain he'll hate himself. Love can be a good thing...but not when you know no one will approve.
Spike disappears for days afterwards.
Xander finds himself staring at the phone, unable to move. He's mesmerized by the fact it might ring. He knows Spike doesn't generally use phones but after what they shared, there's no way he could just leave.
That would be wrong.
Then again, wrong might very well come with the territory of loving a vampire. There are no books on this subject. No how to guides. No 'Dear Abby'.
The only person that has ever been there before would sneer and tell him just what a fool he is being.
Xander's not sure he can bear with this.
He wants to know Spike is with him and only him. He knows it's silly but he can't imagine being with anyone else. Just being apart from him tears him to shreds.
He stares at the phone just waiting for it to ring. Every time it rings, he winces when he realizes the voice on the other line isn't who he wants it to be. Every time this happens, he feels as though he's more alone.
He wakes up one night to rocks pelting his window. Jumping up, he moves to the window pane and throws the window open. He glances down to see Spike glowing in the moonlight. Could this be a dream?
He knows that he is almost just beyond the point where it can never be the same again.
If he just turns now, he can pretend the rocks didn't touch him. He can continue some semblance of life, just letting go.
Yet, he finds himself tossing down the key. He refuses to think of the negative. He wants this too badly to let his fear get in the way.
Spike appears, standing in the doorway. As Xander invites him in, he bites down on his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. His heart starts pounding uncontrollably. His palms grow clammy with moisture.
Spike eases his arms around Xander's waist. Leaning in, he whispers something in a foreign tongue. Xander has no clue what Spike is saying or even what language he's speaking. Yet, as Spike lightly brushes his lips against his, it's perfectly clear what was said.
I love you.