Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or products named in this
story and make no profit from it.
Summary: A mysterious carnival appears on the outskirts of Sunnydale.
Despite the sudden disappearance of townspeople and pets, Xander is
intrigued and wants a closer look. What he gets is more than he could
This story is based on a suggested story idea from the lovely Mystic Oblivion.
As always, thanks to the wonderful Petxnd for the banners that put the perfect
visual to my words.
Xander was furious! He immediately began grabbing beer cans off
the small shelf and tossing them at the couple on the bed screaming,
"Get up! Get the fuck up! Get out of that fucking bed!"
Instantly, both vampires reacted, their faces turning feral, their yellow eyes
flashing and their fangs snarling and snapping as Spike pulled the boy
close to him.
Entirely consumed with jealousy, fury and betrayal, Xander had no room left
for fear and he continued to shout profanities and hurl everything and anything
he could reach.
Quickly both men on the bed recognized their assailant. Jesse threw his head
back and howled with laughter as Spike threw his hand up to deflect the Bud
Light that was sailing past his head.
"Xander! Stop it! What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you lost your
bloody mind? Stop it right now!"
Out of ammunition and emotionally beaten, Xander stood, fists balled and
tears flowing freely down his face.
"How could you? How could you do this?"
Spike climbed over his bed mate and cautiously approached the explosion
that was his pet. He was stunned and confused.
"Xander, calm down. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Xander sniffled and wiped his runny nose on his sleeve before pointing an
accusing finger at the boy who was now stroking a half hard erection casually.
"You fucked him. You fucked him and bit him and you fucking turned him
into a vampire."
Spike shook his head and held his hands up.
Xander took a step back and his voice dropped to a whisper.
"You chose him. You said I was the one but you chose him."
Suddenly, Spike realized what was happening. It had been so long since
he was human, he sometimes forgot how complex and disgustingly emotional they
could be. It would, no doubt, add a whole new wrinkle to his pet training
"No, Xander. It isn't like that. After you left, he came in. He said he knew
that you and I were having sex and he wanted some too"
"So I fucked him. I guess we got a little carried away and I bit him. Then
I figured you wouldn't be back and I didn't want to sleep alone, so I turned him.
In fact he just now woke up."
Xander couldn't believe the matter of fact tone in Spike's voice. It was as
if he was telling him that he had just restocked his booth with new bats.
He then turned his anger on what had until last night been his best buddy.
"And you. You knew what you were doing."
Jesse grinned and stretched.
"I've been telling you for months, Xan. Sex is sex. I need it and I'll do whatever
I can to get it. I ain't gay but I gotta tell you, when Spike shoved that big cock in
my ass I came so hard I though the top of my head would explode."
Instinct rightly told Spike that now was not the time to take pride in the boy's
compliment. Especially when he heard the sob his pet made.
Xander was too spent to fight. He had only one more question.
"So what does this mean? Where do we go from here?"
Spike still didn't understand what it was that the boy wanted and his
hesitation gave Jesse time to cut in and respond. He rose from the bed and
slithered over to stand behind Spike and wrap his hands around the vampire's
"It means that I am with him now. Go home Xander. Go back to your
school and your little friends and your drunken slobbish parents. Spike
has me and he doesn't need you. I can hunt with him and kill with him.
He can fuck me whenever he wants to and when the carnival moves on,
I will be the one to go with him, not you."
Xander stared into Spikes eyes to search for the truth.
The clear blue ones that looked back, looked at him with truth and promise.
For the next few seconds time seemed to stand still as he fell into the deep
pools of cool warmth. Xander could instantly feel his past, his present and
his future all flow together, through him and between them.
Yeah, he knew Spike was evil, but there was almost a purity to that evil
and as he was drawn in, Xander knew one thing for sure. If he went
with Spike, the vampire would never look at anyone else like this.
Then, in a quick flash, the blue eyes darted to a spot on the floor near the bed
and back again. Xander frowned slightly, unsure if he had actually seen it.
Jesse stood plastered to Spike's back, rocking and humping against him.
Spikes expression remained cool and unreadable.
Xander's own eyes glanced in the direction of question and what he saw
shocked him. Tucked under the far corner of the bed frame was a wooden
stake and Xander knew. He knew absolutly.
This was it. This was the test and the choice that Drusilla had foretold.
He held his breath and no one spoke as his brain scrambled to put the puzzle
pieces in their correct order.
What were his choices? Walk away? Leave Jesse to Spike to be his
companion for as long as Spike wanted, which Xander suspected wouldn't
be long. Or do the unthinkable. If he did this, if he staked Jesse, there
would be no turning back.
He could never go home. He could never face Willow again. Even if she
never knew what he had done, he would know. He would, till the day he dies,
remember that he had killed.
It would mean he had made his choice.
Xander's eyes dropped to the floor and he swallowed. He then straightened
his shoulders, looked up into the blue ones that smiled back at him and
he blew out the air that he held in his chest.
In perfect synchronization, Spike spun around and gripped Jesse by the
shoulders, holding the confused boy in a solid grip while Xander dove
to the floor, grabbed the stake, jumped back to his feet and plunged it
deep into what had at one time been his best friend.
Jesse exploded into a cloud of dust.
A cry of anguish spilled from his lips as the reality of what he had done stung his soul.
His arms fell limply at his sides and the stake tumbled, forgotten from his fingertips.
Quickly, Spike stepped up to him and cupped his hands at the sides of Xander's
head. He placed his thumbs gently on the boy's forehead and then slid them
down till they covered Xander's closed eyelids.
Then the vampire spoke quietly, soothing the human's broken heart.
"Shhh. It's all right Xander. You made the right choice. Shhh. Everything
will be all right."
As the vampire continued to croon, a flood of memories played behind Xander's
eyes. Full color images so real, he felt as though he were experiencing them
all over again. Pictures of him with Willow and Jesse. Small children, running
and playing. Growing together. Sharing toys, sharing pain, sharing laughter and joy.
Gradually the images started to soften, fade and blur around the edges. The harder
Xander tried to see them, the more elusive they became till, finally, they seemed
to all roll together like a colorful round ball. It bounce and swirled, always just
out of his grasp till Xander watched as it floated back and settled, lowering itself
into a bright, shiny, golden treasure box.
Sitting on a shelf in the furthest corner of his mind, Xander watched the lid close
on the box and he knew. He knew that Spike was giving him the most precious
gift ever. Xander knew that over the long years to come, whenever he needed
them, these memories would be there.